I need some help with my identity

[sakun123]

Hey guys i dont know how to put this and  i am doing for the first time so i am sorry if i do anything wrong.

Just a few months ago i had perfect life with awesome girlfriend and tons of friends and i was 100% sure i was straight, but we broke up and me stupid just decided that it will be best to be as asocial as possible which would not be such a big problem but it is already more than 6 months and i still can not talk to anyone no matter how hard i try and on top of that not a long time ago i started questioning my sexuality and gender too which just totaly broke me and i have no idea what to do. I will be glad for any help or advice i can get 

(Male,16y.o.)

[Randomgirl.]

49 minutes ago, sakun123 said:

Hey guys i dont know how to put this and  i am doing for the first time so i am sorry if i do anything wrong.

Just a few months ago i had perfect life with awesome girlfriend and tons of friends and i was 100% sure i was straight, but we broke up and me stupid just decided that it will be best to be as asocial as possible which would not be such a big problem but it is already more than 6 months and i still can not talk to anyone no matter how hard i try and on top of that not a long time ago i started questioning my sexuality and gender too which just totaly broke me and i have no idea what to do. I will be glad for any help or advice i can get 

(Male,16y.o.)

Hey! I’m new to this website too I don’t really know what I’m doing either if that helps. It sounds like I’m in somewhat of a similar boat to you. 6 months ago I was sure I was straight. I had a boyfriend too and at the time I was really happy. Didn’t take me long to realise he wasn’t a good person though, and after breaking up I was left in a bad place for months. Not because I missed him, because he made me so unsure about everything and everyone I believed in. I tried talking to different guys after that but I just wasn’t able to connect with anyone. I thought it was just because I was a shitty person who lacked the ability to be a decent girlfriend. But then I met this really amazing girl and I’m like 95% sure I have a huge crush on her. But I have no idea what or who I am. Maybe I’m bi? Lesbian? None of it makes sense. Maybe your situation is like mine and you met someone that made you question your sexuality? I know I can’t really help you but it might be nice to talk about what your going through to someone who might understand 

(14yrOld Female)

[sakun123]

10 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Hey! I’m new to this website too I don’t really know what I’m doing either if that helps. It sounds like I’m in somewhat of a similar boat to you. 6 months ago I was sure I was straight. I had a boyfriend too and at the time I was really happy. Didn’t take me long to realise he wasn’t a good person though, and after breaking up I was left in a bad place for months. Not because I missed him, because he made me so unsure about everything and everyone I believed in. I tried talking to different guys after that but I just wasn’t able to connect with anyone. I thought it was just because I was a shitty person who lacked the ability to be a decent girlfriend. But then I met this really amazing girl and I’m like 95% sure I have a huge crush on her. But I have no idea what or who I am. Maybe I’m bi? Lesbian? None of it makes sense. Maybe your situation is like mine and you met someone that made you question your sexuality? I know I can’t really help you but it might be nice to talk about what your going through to someone who might understand 

(14yrOld Female)

Thank you for sharing, it is nice to know i am not only one going trough things like this....hope you will get better soon since this is really one of my thoughest phases in my life and i am not sure if i would even handle it 2 years ago... But to answer your question, no i have not met anyone who would make me question it it just happend, once i started to recover from the break up i started to workout and trying to make myself a better person but one day from nothing that one thought just went trough my head and since then i still have more and more of those toughts.

[Monsoon]

12 hours ago, sakun123 said:

Hey guys i dont know how to put this and  i am doing for the first time so i am sorry if i do anything wrong.

Just a few months ago i had perfect life with awesome girlfriend and tons of friends and i was 100% sure i was straight, but we broke up and me stupid just decided that it will be best to be as asocial as possible which would not be such a big problem but it is already more than 6 months and i still can not talk to anyone no matter how hard i try and on top of that not a long time ago i started questioning my sexuality and gender too which just totaly broke me and i have no idea what to do. I will be glad for any help or advice i can get 

(Male,16y.o.)

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about your breakup. How are you feeling about everything atm? It sounds like things are quite confusing for you right now, and it's great that you're opening up about how you're feeling as this will allow you to help yourself. When you say you can't talk to anyone, what do you mean? If you mean people you want to date, it might be that you need some more time to process the breakup and get to a better place to feel ready enough for it. What do you reckon?

Also, I totally get why you feel broken about questioning your sexuality and gender. It really does sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment, and I just want you to know that we are here for you. Would you like to tell me a little bit more about your sexuality and gender so I can help you? 

[sakun123]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about your breakup. How are you feeling about everything atm? It sounds like things are quite confusing for you right now, and it's great that you're opening up about how you're feeling as this will allow you to help yourself. When you say you can't talk to anyone, what do you mean? If you mean people you want to date, it might be that you need some more time to process the breakup and get to a better place to feel ready enough for it. What do you reckon?

Also, I totally get why you feel broken about questioning your sexuality and gender. It really does sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment, and I just want you to know that we are here for you. Would you like to tell me a little bit more about your sexuality and gender so I can help you? 

No i mean i am just unable to speak with new people, so it is pretty hard for me to find new friends or even have just normal conversation with anyone which is pretty weird for me couse i am used to lots of attention 

And about my suxuality.... Well i do not know what should i think couse there is one girl i really like but once i am with some boys i often catch myself staring at them and thinking how would it feel to kiss them or do even something more with them...

  and about the gender, well i do not really know how to explain this but.... Well sometimes i just start thinking if did not some mistake happen with me, what if i was supposed to be girl but somenthing went wrong and that maybe i would be more happy as a girl and life would be easier for me... 

Or maybe i am just overthinking too much

[Monsoon]

Hey @sakun123

Ah, yeah, that is interesting that you are struggling to speak with new people. I wonder, why do you think you currently feel that way? 

Also, thank you for telling me more about your sexuality and gender. I'm wondering, with the way you are feeling about some boys, do you think this is your mind's way of telling you that you should try exploring? Many people go through a phase of experimenting, and it doesn't mean that you aren't straight; it's completely normal to experiment. With your gender, I'm intrigued by what you said about how you might be more happy as a girl. Can I ask, how do you think your life would be different if you were a girl?

Speak soon. 

[sakun123]

On 8/24/2021 at 5:13 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey @sakun123

Ah, yeah, that is interesting that you are struggling to speak with new people. I wonder, why do you think you currently feel that way? 

Also, thank you for telling me more about your sexuality and gender. I'm wondering, with the way you are feeling about some boys, do you think this is your mind's way of telling you that you should try exploring? Many people go through a phase of experimenting, and it doesn't mean that you aren't straight; it's completely normal to experiment. With your gender, I'm intrigued by what you said about how you might be more happy as a girl. Can I ask, how do you think your life would be different if you were a girl?

Speak soon. 

I do not really know why fo i feel that way, it maight be just couse all the things and changes in my life i am going trough right now. I am not sure what else could couse that....

Well and about the boys... I do not think my mind is telling me i should experiment ( even tough i hope it is ) it is more like i am literraly atracted to them at least sexualy.....

And for the qiestion about my gender... I have no idea really but i feel like if i am into guys and not girls or if i am into both, it would be esier for me to be girl and that is just one of the reasons.... All my close friends are girls and when i am with them i actualy feel like one of them wich scares me the most.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

I wonder, when people question their identity, it can make them feel quite uncomfortable around others, and subsequently can impact they way we talk to others. This can be because we don't want others to see what could be the true self because we may feel ashamed/embarrassed. Also, it can be because we aren't sure who we are, that we don't know how to act in an authentic way around people, which can lead to us not interacting with others as much. What do you think? I'm wondering, are you feeling anxious about talking to new people? 

Thank you for telling me more about your gender. So, I'm wondering, is the way you feel about your gender based on your potential sexuality? So, if you do like guys, are you thinking that it would just be easier to be a girl because you wouldn't have to come out as gay? Could you tell me more about how you feel towards your gender?