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How to forget your past?


Yashi29    

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Hey guys? 
How you all are doing?!
I just want to know one suggestion from you people! : |

It's been so long since bad things with me in the past happened, it happened from 2022-2023 and still i do remember each and every incident, i am not able to forget any of them, these 2 years made me realize the harsh reality and gave me some reality checks which i was not able to digest, no matter whatever happiest things comes into my life i got happy for a min than at next min i again get some old bad memory i try to escape it by doing some things but still it is there , and it came back to haunt me after some time, when i am done putting efforts on me to make me happy. 

I am afraid will it stay in my mind forever? what you all have done if it was you at my place to forget your past, i am so shy to make new friends and talk to them in person, i feel so lonely and i think about random past things and get upset about them. Is there any way to get out of it? I don't want to be sad on same things over and over again for infinite times, after explaining myself let it go after 2 days again those things clicks. 

Thanks in advance if anybody can suggest me something to do to get out of it.

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7 minutes ago, Yashi29 said:

Hey guys? 
How you all are doing?!
I just want to know one suggestion from you people! : |

It's been so long since bad things with me in the past happened, it happened from 2022-2023 and still i do remember each and every incident, i am not able to forget any of them, these 2 years made me realize the harsh reality and gave me some reality checks which i was not able to digest, no matter whatever happiest things comes into my life i got happy for a min than at next min i again get some old bad memory i try to escape it by doing some things but still it is there , and it came back to haunt me after some time, when i am done putting efforts on me to make me happy. 

I am afraid will it stay in my mind forever? what you all have done if it was you at my place to forget your past, i am so shy to make new friends and talk to them in person, i feel so lonely and i think about random past things and get upset about them. Is there any way to get out of it? I don't want to be sad on same things over and over again for infinite times, after explaining myself let it go after 2 days again those things clicks. 

Thanks in advance if anybody can suggest me something to do to get out of it.

Hey lovely Yashi!! So happy to hear from you!

I'm so glad that things have been better lately for you but I'm so sorry that your past memories of bad experiences are coming back and hurting you

It will get better from here ❤️ you absolutely will get better with the flashbacks too 🫂 

something that helped me the most was to not suppress these memories.

It's a bit like when you get physically hurt, you need to disinfect the wound (even if it stings a bit) so that it doesn't get worse by getting an infection and it will heal over time and scab 

Bad memories are a bit like this 

the best way to get rid of the flashbacks is by letting them happen and reflecting on how you managed to overcome those horrible times and made it through the worst of it. This is difficult but I found this helped me heal faster

As you let the memories come back, they will eventually stop, and one day you can look back on these moments without feeling hurt, as you have come to terms with it and found peace.

The most important thing is to not think of it as forgetting your past, but thinking of it as healing from the past. There will be a day where you can look back and be proud of yourself for pulling through your worst days ✨

Another way that I think of it is that, as painful as it was to go through the things we've have been through, it has ultimately made us stronger 💪🏼 and it means we can give advice for others who are going through similar experiences 

But advice aside, I'm so sorry, it is really frustrating especially when painful memories come out of nowhere and changes your mood but it will get better and you will feel better with each day 💖 

As for the loneliness and being shy, you can take small baby steps to get to know people, whether it's asking people in class if they would like to sit with you at break times or going to the library or clubs. Just remember you always have us as your friends and you aren't alone in this 💗 better days will come your way 

Sending hugsss 🫂 

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 5/4/2024 at 7:19 PM, jazzy.sky said:

Hey lovely Yashi!! So happy to hear from you!

I'm so glad that things have been better lately for you but I'm so sorry that your past memories of bad experiences are coming back and hurting you

It will get better from here ❤️ you absolutely will get better with the flashbacks too 🫂 

something that helped me the most was to not suppress these memories.

It's a bit like when you get physically hurt, you need to disinfect the wound (even if it stings a bit) so that it doesn't get worse by getting an infection and it will heal over time and scab 

Bad memories are a bit like this 

the best way to get rid of the flashbacks is by letting them happen and reflecting on how you managed to overcome those horrible times and made it through the worst of it. This is difficult but I found this helped me heal faster

As you let the memories come back, they will eventually stop, and one day you can look back on these moments without feeling hurt, as you have come to terms with it and found peace.

The most important thing is to not think of it as forgetting your past, but thinking of it as healing from the past. There will be a day where you can look back and be proud of yourself for pulling through your worst days ✨

Another way that I think of it is that, as painful as it was to go through the things we've have been through, it has ultimately made us stronger 💪🏼 and it means we can give advice for others who are going through similar experiences 

But advice aside, I'm so sorry, it is really frustrating especially when painful memories come out of nowhere and changes your mood but it will get better and you will feel better with each day 💖 

As for the loneliness and being shy, you can take small baby steps to get to know people, whether it's asking people in class if they would like to sit with you at break times or going to the library or clubs. Just remember you always have us as your friends and you aren't alone in this 💗 better days will come your way 

Sending hugsss 🫂 

Thanks jazzy for this sweet message, i have read it before but was so equipped with other things to reply on this, i am back home after 2 months staying in another city where my office is located, but ig this is the only way to heal to let it come, and one day i will be completely heal from it.

And thanks for letting me know that you people will be there with me as my friends, i used to feel in office that i have collegues not friends they talk to me nicely because they have to be, they are not doing it by heart, but here in DTL , without even meeting you i can feel comfortable to say anything, without being judged for anything.

Thanks for your kind words jazzy btw i am doing better from it! : )

  • Like 1
2 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

Thanks jazzy for this sweet message, i have read it before but was so equipped with other things to reply on this, i am back home after 2 months staying in another city where my office is located, but ig this is the only way to heal to let it come, and one day i will be completely heal from it.

And thanks for letting me know that you people will be there with me as my friends, i used to feel in office that i have collegues not friends they talk to me nicely because they have to be, they are not doing it by heart, but here in DTL , without even meeting you i can feel comfortable to say anything, without being judged for anything.

Thanks for your kind words jazzy btw i am doing better from it! : )

Awww it's always so lovely to hear from you Yashi ❤️ how are things going for you right now? 

I am so proud of you for your positive outlook, and I'm sure you will heal from this 💖 I'll be here to support you :D

I am so lucky to have a friend like you and im so glad to hear that you feel safe here on the DTL platform

I really hope that you can create a strong friendship with a colleague or out of work friend (and if not you always have us!)

Yayy, that is wonderful news Yashi 👏 🥳💖 I am so so so happy to hear that :D 

 

  • Like 1

Hey lovely Yashi! I've sent you a message but it needs moderation!! Just wanted to let you know that I am so happy to hear from you and to hear that things have gotten better since we last spoke

Sending hugsss 🫂 

Hopefully you get to see my message soon 💗💗

  • Like 1
  • Digital Mentor
15 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

Thanks jazzy for this sweet message, i have read it before but was so equipped with other things to reply on this, i am back home after 2 months staying in another city where my office is located, but ig this is the only way to heal to let it come, and one day i will be completely heal from it.

And thanks for letting me know that you people will be there with me as my friends, i used to feel in office that i have collegues not friends they talk to me nicely because they have to be, they are not doing it by heart, but here in DTL , without even meeting you i can feel comfortable to say anything, without being judged for anything.

Thanks for your kind words jazzy btw i am doing better from it! : )

Welcome back @Yashi29! It's so nice to hear from you again!

On 6/2/2024 at 11:54 PM, jazzy.sky said:

Awww it's always so lovely to hear from you Yashi ❤️ how are things going for you right now? 

I am so proud of you for your positive outlook, and I'm sure you will heal from this 💖 I'll be here to support you :D

I am so lucky to have a friend like you and im so glad to hear that you feel safe here on the DTL platform

I really hope that you can create a strong friendship with a colleague or out of work friend (and if not you always have us!)

Yayy, that is wonderful news Yashi 👏 🥳💖 I am so so so happy to hear that :D 

I's going good for now, as i am in my hometown i can do my office work at my comfort zone need to be attentive all the time only when there is work, wfh gives space to do other things as well, i regret not using this platform before, i should have came here online often , i feel positive vibes with you, who is ready to support everyone and you are all ears to listen to people on DTL, you are such a kind hearted soul, i found here at first in DTL, after my past thing happened i used to bealieve that there are no such people like i used to think, most of them are selfish (bcoz of y college culture) but no i was wrong , i was in the wrong place, there are sweet souls like you too! <3

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
On 6/2/2024 at 11:56 PM, jazzy.sky said:

Hey lovely Yashi! I've sent you a message but it needs moderation!! Just wanted to let you know that I am so happy to hear from you and to hear that things have gotten better since we last spoke

Sending hugsss 🫂 

Hopefully you get to see my message soon 💗💗

Yes i have seen it dear, happy to read it! : )
Now my message needs moderation 😂

Edited by Yashi29
  • Like 1
On 6/3/2024 at 1:08 PM, Lennie said:

Welcome back @Yashi29! It's so nice to hear from you again!

Thank lennie, happy to hear from you too! i was not able to reply you on CS, as i was afraid to read those things again that i wrote, was kind of running from it, i think i can change that topic to something else to start talking again with you :)

11 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

I's going good for now, as i am in my hometown i can do my office work at my comfort zone need to be attentive all the time only when there is work, wfh gives space to do other things as well, i regret not using this platform before, i should have came here online often , i feel positive vibes with you, who is ready to support everyone and you are all ears to listen to people on DTL, you are such a kind hearted soul, i found here at first in DTL, after my past thing happened i used to bealieve that there are no such people like i used to think, most of them are selfish (bcoz of y college culture) but no i was wrong , i was in the wrong place, there are sweet souls like you too! <3

Awwww you're so sweet Yashi! Thank you so much for all the kind messages ❤️ made my week thank you!

I am so glad that everything is going good at the moment, how is the weather in your hometown at the moment?

Alsi i am so happy that you dont have to go to college anymore, from what i remember the people there were so horrible to you - they missed out on a lovely and remarkable friend!

Awww of course! I am always here and happy to listen and help as much as I can  💗💗💗

You have such positve vibes too! Always love talking with you Yashi ✨🥰💫 You are a gentle and kind soul and your resilience and determination will get you far 💞

Sending hugs 🫂🫂

 

  • Digital Mentor
16 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

Thank lennie, happy to hear from you too! i was not able to reply you on CS, as i was afraid to read those things again that i wrote, was kind of running from it, i think i can change that topic to something else to start talking again with you :)

Hi @Yashi29, we are here for you either way! You're right, sometimes revisiting topics can be hard. Feel free to change the topic and start another conversation if you'd like. 

  • Like 1

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  • Digital Mentor
On 6/7/2024 at 10:38 PM, Yashi29 said:

Thank lennie, happy to hear from you too! i was not able to reply you on CS, as i was afraid to read those things again that i wrote, was kind of running from it, i think i can change that topic to something else to start talking again with you :)

Hi @Yashi29 - nice to hear from you again! And yes of course, I totally understand if you'd prefer to leave that previous CS thread behind. We can always start a new chat about any other topic you'd like to discuss, just start a new CS request whenever suits you. 

I'm glad things are going well for you. We are always here for you any time you want to talk or share your thoughts 🙂 

  • Like 1
On 6/8/2024 at 3:07 PM, jazzy.sky said:

Awwww you're so sweet Yashi! Thank you so much for all the kind messages ❤️ made my week thank you!

I am so glad that everything is going good at the moment, how is the weather in your hometown at the moment?

Alsi i am so happy that you dont have to go to college anymore, from what i remember the people there were so horrible to you - they missed out on a lovely and remarkable friend!

Awww of course! I am always here and happy to listen and help as much as I can  💗💗💗

You have such positve vibes too! Always love talking with you Yashi ✨🥰💫 You are a gentle and kind soul and your resilience and determination will get you far 💞

Sending hugs 🫂🫂

It's very hot in here around 47-48 degrees, these summers are the hottest ones i guess, but the place where i do my internship bangalore has 25 degrees only, it's cool in there and also it is raining there mostly, i am going bangalore this saturday.

I guess the same they don't deserved me, i get to know so many things about those people which made me more shattered that's the time i made this post but it made me bealieve that i should be ahppy that they are gone, they weren't meant for me.

Thankyou so sweet words jazzy, made my day! : ) 

  • Shocked 1
2 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

It's very hot in here around 47-48 degrees, these summers are the hottest ones i guess, but the place where i do my internship bangalore has 25 degrees only, it's cool in there and also it is raining there mostly, i am going bangalore this saturday.

I guess the same they don't deserved me, i get to know so many things about those people which made me more shattered that's the time i made this post but it made me bealieve that i should be ahppy that they are gone, they weren't meant for me.

Thankyou so sweet words jazzy, made my day! : ) 

Awww you made my day with your message Yashi!

My goodness, 47+ degrees is unrealll 😭😭😨😨 I'll be praying that it doesn't get any hotter, that is honestly terrifying 

Oooh have safe travels on Saturday, may you find peaceful and cool weather when you go to Bangalore 💗

Yesss, love the positive mindset! You are so strong Yashi and I am so happy that you are in a better place right now 🤗🫂

Edited by jazzy.sky
Spelling mistakes lol
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  • Digital Mentor
On 6/12/2024 at 12:12 PM, Yashi29 said:

It's very hot in here around 47-48 degrees, these summers are the hottest ones i guess, but the place where i do my internship bangalore has 25 degrees only, it's cool in there and also it is raining there mostly, i am going bangalore this saturday.

I guess the same they don't deserved me, i get to know so many things about those people which made me more shattered that's the time i made this post but it made me bealieve that i should be ahppy that they are gone, they weren't meant for me.

Thankyou so sweet words jazzy, made my day! : ) 

Hi @Yashi29. I’m Mestizo, one of the Support Mentors with Ditch the Label. How is it being in Bangalore? Is your internship for the summer? I’m glad to hear that it was a lot cooler at Bangalore than where you were. Will it get that hot eventually in Bangalore? 

On 6/13/2024 at 2:42 AM, jazzy.sky said:

Awww you made my day with your message Yashi!

My goodness, 47+ degrees is unrealll 😭😭😨😨 I'll be praying that it doesn't get any hotter, that is honestly terrifying 

Oooh have safe travels on Saturday, may you find peaceful and cool weather when you go to Bangalore 💗

Yesss, love the positive mindset! You are so strong Yashi and I am so happy that you are in a better place right now 🤗🫂

yes i came to bangalore, here it is raining aprox everyday and weather i also so cool around 22 degrees half of where i was living.

Yes jazzy i am happy that i am away from it, it was a terrible experience back then, but here too i am new so it will take some time to make friends here, as already everyone has friends, so sometimes i feel lonely and left out but it is much better than staying at home thinking about past, here i am meeting with diff kind of people, diff experiences.

  • Like 1
On 6/17/2024 at 8:40 PM, Mestizo said:

Hi @Yashi29. I’m Mestizo, one of the Support Mentors with Ditch the Label. How is it being in Bangalore? Is your internship for the summer? I’m glad to hear that it was a lot cooler at Bangalore than where you were. Will it get that hot eventually in Bangalore? 

It is going good as i said to jazzy, this internship was compulsory for my college in 4th year so i did for it but it can be converted to full time role.
No in bangalore it is cool only the weather is nice! <3

  • Like 2
6 minutes ago, Yashi29 said:

yes i came to bangalore, here it is raining aprox everyday and weather i also so cool around 22 degrees half of where i was living.

Yes jazzy i am happy that i am away from it, it was a terrible experience back then, but here too i am new so it will take some time to make friends here, as already everyone has friends, so sometimes i feel lonely and left out but it is much better than staying at home thinking about past, here i am meeting with diff kind of people, diff experiences.

Ooooh 22 degrees is quite nice, do you enjoy the rain or do you prefer sunshine?

Awww Yashi I'm sorry that you had such awful experiences in the past. As for the loneliness you are feeling right now, you always have me and the crew ❤️ I'm sure you will make new friends where you are at right now, like you mentioned, people will take time to get to know you and become good friends to you ❤️ 

I am so happy to hear that you are doing better though, meeting new people and doing new things can really help you take your mind off of the past 😊 

Sending hugs 🫂  always love hearing from you Yashi!

 

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  • Digital Mentor
21 hours ago, jazzy.sky said:

Ooooh 22 degrees is quite nice, do you enjoy the rain or do you prefer sunshine?

Awww Yashi I'm sorry that you had such awful experiences in the past. As for the loneliness you are feeling right now, you always have me and the crew ❤️ I'm sure you will make new friends where you are at right now, like you mentioned, people will take time to get to know you and become good friends to you ❤️ 

I am so happy to hear that you are doing better though, meeting new people and doing new things can really help you take your mind off of the past 😊 

Sending hugs 🫂  always love hearing from you Yashi!

Hi @Yashi29. I just want to join @jazzy.sky in sending positive thoughts and energy your way as you begin a new journey and start to meet and make new friends. As @jazzy.sky writes, we are here for you during this process :-)

  • Like 1
On 6/19/2024 at 11:28 PM, jazzy.sky said:

Ooooh 22 degrees is quite nice, do you enjoy the rain or do you prefer sunshine?

Awww Yashi I'm sorry that you had such awful experiences in the past. As for the loneliness you are feeling right now, you always have me and the crew ❤️ I'm sure you will make new friends where you are at right now, like you mentioned, people will take time to get to know you and become good friends to you ❤️ 

I am so happy to hear that you are doing better though, meeting new people and doing new things can really help you take your mind off of the past 😊 

Sending hugs 🫂  always love hearing from you Yashi!

Hi jazzy, here in bangalore it is cool here in summer too it is almost everyday raning twice a day , the weather i what i like the most here, but the thing of being lonely sometimes hits as here i have no sich friends all i have is collegues, and i am introverted so i don't have the courage too, to get friednly so fast and open up, if the other person is supportive and non judgemental then i can speak my heart out and talk to them , but here sometimes i feel is office politics, but still i am learning somwthing new everyday! that's better! How are you btw? what you are being upto?

On 6/20/2024 at 9:26 PM, Mestizo said:

Hi @Yashi29. I just want to join @jazzy.sky in sending positive thoughts and energy your way as you begin a new journey and start to meet and make new friends. As @jazzy.sky writes, we are here for you during this process :-)

Thankyou @Mestizo, @jazzy.sky you guys are sweet, infact every support mentor is sweet here and ready to help! :)

  • Like 3
  • Digital Mentor
15 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

Hi jazzy, here in bangalore it is cool here in summer too it is almost everyday raning twice a day , the weather i what i like the most here, but the thing of being lonely sometimes hits as here i have no sich friends all i have is collegues, and i am introverted so i don't have the courage too, to get friednly so fast and open up, if the other person is supportive and non judgemental then i can speak my heart out and talk to them , but here sometimes i feel is office politics, but still i am learning somwthing new everyday! that's better! How are you btw? what you are being upto?

Hi @Yashi29 - I know it can be challenging when starting a new work placement in a new area, especially if you feel shy. However, you have already shown plenty of courage by taking on this internship, even if it is compulsory.

In the beginning, having new colleagues who know one another but do not know you (yet) can feel intimidating. In such cases, it can help to start by making conversation with a colleague who seems approachable in a one-to-one situation. Asking them a few questions and getting to know them better might help to build your confidence without feeling overwhelmed. Is there someone approachable that comes to mind? If so, do you think this might be worth trying?

On 6/24/2024 at 1:39 PM, Lennie said:

Hi @Yashi29 - I know it can be challenging when starting a new work placement in a new area, especially if you feel shy. However, you have already shown plenty of courage by taking on this internship, even if it is compulsory.

In the beginning, having new colleagues who know one another but do not know you (yet) can feel intimidating. In such cases, it can help to start by making conversation with a colleague who seems approachable in a one-to-one situation. Asking them a few questions and getting to know them better might help to build your confidence without feeling overwhelmed. Is there someone approachable that comes to mind? If so, do you think this might be worth trying?

Hi @Lennie it was not actually about courage but i actually wanted a paid intern this is my first paid intern , before this i used to underestimate a lot that i would never get such paid interns the ones i dreamt off, but after getting to know that i got selected here, it was like a dream come true, in starting i showed courage when meeting new people when i joined in feb 21st,but with passing time i am getting to know people, and trying to communicate with them, today 1 girl told me where are you in office, i didn't saw you whole day... other girl said when i was intern i used to interact with everyone, i felt lil bad, they were trying to say that you are very quiet prson who don't talk to people here, but what can i do, i don't have habit of talking to new people suddenly and being friends with them so fast, it's tough for people like me.

Yes there are some people who are approachable to talk but they too have friends already so they spent time with them.

  • Digital Mentor
10 hours ago, Yashi29 said:

Hi @Lennie it was not actually about courage but i actually wanted a paid intern this is my first paid intern , before this i used to underestimate a lot that i would never get such paid interns the ones i dreamt off, but after getting to know that i got selected here, it was like a dream come true, in starting i showed courage when meeting new people when i joined in feb 21st,but with passing time i am getting to know people, and trying to communicate with them, today 1 girl told me where are you in office, i didn't saw you whole day... other girl said when i was intern i used to interact with everyone, i felt lil bad, they were trying to say that you are very quiet prson who don't talk to people here, but what can i do, i don't have habit of talking to new people suddenly and being friends with them so fast, it's tough for people like me.

Yes there are some people who are approachable to talk but they too have friends already so they spent time with them.

Hi @Yashi29 - well congratulations on getting selected for this paid internship, that sounds like an impressive achievement. However, I do understand how hard it can be when trying to get to know your new colleagues at work. It can feel intimidating, so it's okay to take things at your own pace as these things can take time to develop. 

You mentioned that when you joined you were speaking with people more than you do now - what do you think changed? 

On 6/26/2024 at 1:11 PM, Lennie said:

Hi @Yashi29 - well congratulations on getting selected for this paid internship, that sounds like an impressive achievement. However, I do understand how hard it can be when trying to get to know your new colleagues at work. It can feel intimidating, so it's okay to take things at your own pace as these things can take time to develop. 

You mentioned that when you joined you were speaking with people more than you do now - what do you think changed? 

I think may be because i am completely at new place and was eager to make new friends and want to leave my good impression or whatever might be the reason , i don't know them, but gradually i m getting to know that these are just collegues nd not like our friends or anyone i can trust completely, then i got to know about some office politics that sometimes what happens is the senior above you to supervise can sometimes take advantage of you by giving work and then claiming afterwards to higher position people as his/her work, and not giving any credit to me, and also nobody knows what i do, except the senior collegue i work under, it's not like everytime but sometimes i have seen this or maybe i am just overthinking about it 

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