Blackmail

[Mukosham]

Someone had a video call on WhatsApp whilst naked someone. In the end his threatening him that he will post the nude on 13 January, if he won't pay money, what should he do

[Monsoon]

Hey @Mukosham

Thank you for reaching out to us for advice. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give support to the community members here. 

I just want to ask, is the person being threatened you? I have a lot of experience in supporting people who are being blackmailed, and it is important to never pay the blackmailer money. The best thing you can do is to block the person who is asking for money and report them to the police. Once they are blocked, they often realise they are not going to get the money, and that is the only reason they are doing it. Therefore, they tend to move on and forget. Also, I'm wondering, did the threat happen on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Twitter, Tumblr, or YouTube? If so, we may be able to have the account reported and removed. 

I hope to hear back from you soon. 

[Mukosham]

We first start charting with a person on Facebook and then went to WhatsApp , he threatening me on Whatsapp, I have blocked him and I not heard anything I don't if is waiting for the said or what.  How can I move on 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Unfortunately, we cannot report them to Whatsapp, but if any threats do get made on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Twitter, Tumblr, or YouTube, please send us screenshots and both of your usernames/links to profiles to support@ditchthelabel.org - with the screenshots, take care to block out any nude content before sending them. 

I'm really pleased to hear that you have blocked him; generally, the more time that passes between blocking and not hearing anything, the more likely it is that nothing will happen. It is common for the individual to move onto someone else, and this is because they realise they won't get the money they want. What do you think about that?

In terms of moving on, it can be really helpful to speak about how this has impacted you emotionally, which you are able to do here. This will help you to process your feelings and start to think about what is next for you. Would you be open to that? I completely understand if not, and we will take your lead on whatever you are ready for. Take care and speak soon. 

[Mukosham]

I am very worried and how people you pictures because I have I good name in society and that nude video can ruin my life. At times I even think of commitmenting suicide before he leak the video, and to said date it is on this week Friday that he said that I will leak the video if you won't pay the money.help me please

[Monsoon]

22 minutes ago, Mukosham said:

I am very worried and how people you pictures because I have I good name in society and that nude video can ruin my life. At times I even think of commitmenting suicide before he leak the video, and to said date it is on this week Friday that he said that I will leak the video if you won't pay the money.help me please

Hey there,

I noticed what you said about how you think about taking your own life before he gets the chance to leak the video. I just want to check, are you safe at the moment? If not, please let us know so that we can get help to you. I know it might not seem like it now, but there really is light at the end of every tunnel, and one day, you will look back on this time and be really proud of yourself for getting through it. Here are some things that may help if you do feel like you're in crisis and need help immediately:

• This link here will give you a list of the mental health crisis lines worldwide which you can call if you're struggling - www.befrienders.org
• You can call the emergency services if there is a risk to your life
• You can go to your local hospital emergency department and explain that you are in crisis and need urgent support

I hope to hear back from you soon, and if you're feeling unsafe, remember, the more we know, the more we can help you. Take care and speak soon. 

[Mukosham]

I am not safe, how can you help me, but the day is said to leak the video is approaching, I have blocked him and I have not heard anything from him. Thanks for support, the more I tell to you the better

[-Leila-]

15 minutes ago, Mukosham said:

I am not safe, how can you help me, but the day is said to leak the video is approaching, I have blocked him and I have not heard anything from him. Thanks for support, the more I tell to you the better

Hugs, do you think you can reach out to those helplines monsoon posted?

keeping safe is our top priority right now and you deserve to feel supported and safe.

I hear how much you’re struggling especially from such a horrible thing to happen, how about reaching out to a friend or family member? They could support you and they can keep you safe.

when we don’t feel safe out mind goes back and forth thinking of ways to hurt ourselves. I hope with the right support you can start to feel safe. You deserve to feel safe and I’m sorry that right now you don’t feel like you can keep yourself safe.

monsoon will reply very soon but I hope for now you can keep yourself safe!

hugs

[Aurora]

2 hours ago, Mukosham said:

I am not safe, how can you help me, but the day is said to leak the video is approaching, I have blocked him and I have not heard anything from him. Thanks for support, the more I tell to you the better

Hi @Mukosham, I'm Aurora and I am one of the other support mentors here at Ditch the Label. Monsoon isn't going to be online until later today so I thought I would jump in. I hope you don't mind. 

I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling safe at the moment. Can I ask what you mean by that? Do you not feel safe because you're worried that the video will be leaked or is it that you are thinking of taking your own life? I know Monsoon has already mentioned this but if you are in crisis and you need help immediately please reach out to your local emergency services. You can also find a list of worldwide crisis lines here: https://www.befrienders.org   You can contact them from anywhere in the world

Please know that your safety is the most important thing and we are here to support you in any way we can. It probably doesn't feel like this right now but you can get through this and things will feel better again. Have you spoken to anyone else about what has been happening? If not maybe you could tell a good friend or a family member that you trust so they can support you as well. What do you think? 

I also wanted to reassure you that none of this is your fault and you are not alone! Unfortunately this happens quite often and there are lots of others here that have been through a similar experience to you. What usually happens is, once the person realises that they won't get any money they tend to move onto someone else.  Sharing nude videos or photos of someone, especially if the person is underage, is a criminal offence in most countries. The person who is threatening you probably knows that what they are doing is a criminal offence and it is therefore highly unlikely that they will share the video. Do you mind me asking, what country you are from and how old you are? If you are happy to let me know I can give you more specific advise on your situation. 

[Mukosham]

I am worried that he may leak the video. I am Zambian aged 24 and need more of your guidelines on the issue, the more I am talking to you the better I am feeling

[Monsoon]

3 hours ago, Mukosham said:

I am worried that he may leak the video. I am Zambian aged 24 and need more of your guidelines on the issue, the more I am talking to you the better I am feeling

Hey there,

I am really glad to hear that you are feeling better after talking with us. I saw what you said about how you do not feel safe, and I'm wondering, have you made a plan to take your own life? If you have, please let us know so that we can get you the support you need. I know it might be scary to share this with us, but remember, we are here for you and want to make sure you're okay. 

As you haven't heard anything after blocking him, this is a sign that the individual has moved on. If they really wanted to contact you, they would be able to find a way. However, in this kind of situation, when they have been blocked, they usually realise they aren't going to get the money they want and that there is no point then leaking the content because there is no chance of getting the money. What do you think? I'm wondering, could you maybe report this to the police? I think this would help you to feel better.

[Mukosham]

No I have not made any plans of taking my life. That was just one of the thought, and the chat is giving more confidences. I am joying it

[Mukosham]

What about in situation where you make a date for the payment , and in the end you block him and you have not heard anything from them but the date has not passed

[Aurora]

19 hours ago, Mukosham said:

What about in situation where you make a date for the payment , and in the end you block him and you have not heard anything from them but the date has not passed

Hi there, I am glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Thank you for letting us know your age and where you are from. I will do some research into the laws of your country but I would imagine that blackmail and distribution of nude photos without consent is also a criminal offence in Zambia. It is therefore very unlikely that they will leak your photos, even if the date for the payment hasn't passed yet. Do you mind me asking, when the date for the payment was set? Also, have you thought about going to the police and reporting what has happened? 

Please know that we are here for you and we will support you through this. 

[Mukosham]

13 January 2023 at 10:00, I have not yet going to the police, thank you for your reply

[Aurora]

22 hours ago, Mukosham said:

13 January 2023 at 10:00, I have not yet going to the police, thank you for your reply

Can I ask if you are thinking about going to the police? 

[Mukosham]

I not not thinking about that and the date we set is tomorrow and i have not heard anything from him, what is that sign .help please

[Mukosham]

The reason is that I have deleted the evidence and when file such complaint you need  the evidence of those threates

[Monsoon]

On 1/12/2023 at 4:11 PM, Mukosham said:

The reason is that I have deleted the evidence and when file such complaint you need  the evidence of those threates

Hey there,

That's okay that you deleted the evidence. Although you have gotten rid of it, the social media company may still have a record of the chat. This happened on WhatsApp, is that right? If you do go to the police, they may be able to request the chat history from WhatsApp to use as evidence to help you. Also, I just wanted to check in to see how you are feeling today?

[Mukosham]

I am feeling well today and is the day he said he will leak the video has passed , I have not heard anything either from people or him

[Monsoon]

17 hours ago, Mukosham said:

I am feeling well today and is the day he said he will leak the video has passed , I have not heard anything either from people or him

Hey there,

I am glad to hear you are feeling well. It is likely that they individual has moved on because you probably would have heard something from them by now, so you might be in the clear. Would you like anymore support with this now, or are you okay?

[Mukosham]

I need your support and thanks for being with me in this had time. I have not heard anything from the individual since the day I broke him. What should I do to move on

[Monsoon]

Hey,

It's a really positive sign that you haven't heard anything; I think this is a sign that the person has moved on and hopefully won't bother you now. In terms of moving on, I'm wondering, what has helped you to move on from other challenging situations previously?

[Mukosham]

I do not know what to do to move on because I have never been in such condition

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Mukosham said:

I do not know what to do to move on because I have never been in such condition

Hey there,

That's totally okay. It can be tricky to think of a way forward when you're in a completely new condition. From my experience of supporting people in similar conditions to you, I have noticed that over time, people tend to feel better. This is likely because the fear of nudes being shared can reduce as time goes on, and I think the fear usually makes it slower for people to move on. So really, it's more about being kind to yourself because people usually blame themselves in this kind of situation, but it wasn't your fault at all. Also, it can be helpful to trust the process and know that one day, with time and patience, you will feel better. What do you think?