the aro/ace questions masterthread

[illumi]

this is a thread for folks who are currently questioning if theyre aro/ace! or just has some questions for aro/ace peeps. feel free to ask questions below and aro/ace peeps can answer them. everything in this thread should be aromanticism and asexuality related

open the quotes for more info!

Quote

 

basic definitions

aromantic/aro; a romantic orientation which describes an individual who feels little to no romantic attraction [read more]

asexual/ace; a sexual orientation which describes an individual who feels little to no sexual attraction [read more]

aroace; an umbrella term including anyone whos both arospec and acespec! [read more]

tertiary attraction; attractions that are not romantic nor sexual thats often used in split attraction model. such as platonic attraction [read more]

queerplatonic relationship; a non romantic but committed long term relationship which goes beyond friendship [read more]

sam/split attraction model; a model that describes ones orientation more specifically by separating different attractions [read more]

 

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common faq

1. can i desire a romantic/sexual relationship while being aro/ace?

yes you can. desiring either relationships does not imply that you feel romantic/sexual attraction. so youre still on the aro/acespec

2. can i fantasize about romantic/sexual scenarios while being aro/ace?

yes you can. since youre only drawn to the aesthetics of romantic/sexual relationships and is still absent of romantic/sexual attraction

3. i have a high libido. am i still ace?

yes you are. sexual arousal and desires caused by libido is of natural occurrence because youe body is preparing for sex. its not the same as sexual attraction

 

 

now. to whomever thats questioning. keep in mind that youre never too young to know; theres always enough time to discovery your orientation; and you dont have to force yourself to do something you dont want to do just to justify your orientation! be kind to yourself and stay hydrated. dump your concerns here and let us answer it!

 

[A User]

Mega huge ultra bump!

Im aroace and also open to question answering. Just quote this post and I usually get back pretty fast!

[illumi]

5 hours ago, A User said:

Mega huge ultra bump!

Im aroace and also open to question answering. Just quote this post and I usually get back pretty fast!

were fr savin the world

[Randomgirl.]

22 hours ago, A User said:

Mega huge ultra bump!

Im aroace and also open to question answering. Just quote this post and I usually get back pretty fast!

Hey! I was wondering how did you know you were aroace?

[A User]

1 hour ago, Randomgirl. said:

Hey! I was wondering how did you know you were aroace?

I guess I've always known that I didn't feel crushes, and that subconsciously I knew I'd been faking them (basically mooning over a person)

But I didn't fully come into the realization until someone had a crush on me and I hated being treated the way I was and realized this was not what I pictured in my head bout crushes.

I went on kids help phone one day and the counselor there told me about asexuality and AVEN and it all clicked.

I joined AVEN, and thru there I found Aromantic which also fit me so here I am

I have my moments of doubt on being aro but knowing that I did a survey once and didn't understand what pliant when they described crushes affirms it for me

[illumi]

9 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Hey! I was wondering how did you know you were aroace?

for me it was pretty easy. i didnt have a crush my entire life and i also tried to force myself to be romantically attracted to the idols my friends were fangirling over just to fit in. which is what most aro folks struggle with 

when im 11 and i first got access to the internet; i decided to read about the lgbtq community and came across the term asexuality. since i was still learning english i saw the definition and said yep thats me. because i dont feel any sexual and romantic attraction my entire life [yes. i thought aromanticism and asexuality meant the same thing]

as a cringy kid i also got myself into online romantic relationships with other cringy kids but i never felt romantically attracted to my partner. i acted flirty and even made sex jokes because i thought thats what romantic partners are supposed to do despite still seeing them as a friend i hang out with everyday. they were really confused too and reciprocated those jokes but theyre also new to the whole thing so i cant blame them

so in some way ive already figured out im aroace but just didnt know aromanticism was a word and sexual snd romantic attractions are different things. though rn i identify as omniaspec bc i dont feel any type of attraction most of the time; only occasionally [platonic? alterous?? queerplatonic??? idk] with my closest homies. so there you have it 

[Randomgirl.]

On 11/11/2022 at 5:52 PM, A User said:

I guess I've always known that I didn't feel crushes, and that subconsciously I knew I'd been faking them (basically mooning over a person)

But I didn't fully come into the realization until someone had a crush on me and I hated being treated the way I was and realized this was not what I pictured in my head bout crushes.

I went on kids help phone one day and the counselor there told me about asexuality and AVEN and it all clicked.

I joined AVEN, and thru there I found Aromantic which also fit me so here I am

I have my moments of doubt on being aro but knowing that I did a survey once and didn't understand what pliant when they described crushes affirms it for me

Hey thanks for responding! This is really interesting. I love hearing people talk about how they learned or are learning about themselves. I’m also kinda stuck on my own identity at the moment so this is helpful.

[Randomgirl.]

On 11/12/2022 at 1:46 AM, sevan said:

for me it was pretty easy. i didnt have a crush my entire life and i also tried to force myself to be romantically attracted to the idols my friends were fangirling over just to fit in. which is what most aro folks struggle with 

when im 11 and i first got access to the internet; i decided to read about the lgbtq community and came across the term asexuality. since i was still learning english i saw the definition and said yep thats me. because i dont feel any sexual and romantic attraction my entire life [yes. i thought aromanticism and asexuality meant the same thing]

as a cringy kid i also got myself into online romantic relationships with other cringy kids but i never felt romantically attracted to my partner. i acted flirty and even made sex jokes because i thought thats what romantic partners are supposed to do despite still seeing them as a friend i hang out with everyday. they were really confused too and reciprocated those jokes but theyre also new to the whole thing so i cant blame them

so in some way ive already figured out im aroace but just didnt know aromanticism was a word and sexual snd romantic attractions are different things. though rn i identify as omniaspec bc i dont feel any type of attraction most of the time; only occasionally [platonic? alterous?? queerplatonic??? idk] with my closest homies. so there you have it 

That’s really cool! Sounds like you’ve been through a lot of self-evaluating. It’s also comforting to hear someone else talk about they’re struggles and not knowing things. Thanks!

[illumi]

4 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

That’s really cool! Sounds like you’ve been through a lot of self-evaluating. It’s also comforting to hear someone else talk about they’re struggles and not knowing things. Thanks!

glad i could answer your question m8. no prob