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I Ghosted someone, feel guilty, want to apologize 1 year later


Bubbletea
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This is going to be a pretty long one so here I go.

About a year ago, I met this dude on Discord, he was pretty chill but also a bit strange, that didn't really bother me though. Everything was going pretty well at the start, nice friendship and all until well, I had some pretty huge family crisis going on (that is already resolved) and definitely wasn't in the most well state when texting this guy like two months in. I definitely over shared and ended up asking this guy for help. He was really helpful and even ended up getting his family somewhat involved in it which was very respectable, I was really grateful for that.Β 

The thing was, he talked about me a whole lot about others even before the crisis happened, which made me pretty uncomfortable, I know about this cause he would tell me. The worst case was though and that was the 2nd most recent thing that happened (before I told him about the family crisis kinda) when he told like his best friend about me and then his best friend called me a bitch and that the dude who texted me shouldn't be involved with me etc just in general pretty negative shit.Β 

I get that best friend's reasoning because I am indeed a stranger still and you shouldn't trust people on the internet, at the same time though, no need to insult me like that man.

How I know this you ask? Well, my guy somehow thought it was a good idea toΒ tell me all about it. I was pretty offendedΒ and confused and this just really left a bitter taste in my mouth after that, for some reason he was the one offended which also kinda confused me, I did talk it out with him and he somewhat apologized and we just continued talking because I didn't have anyone else to talk with during that time.Β 

Perhaps, I sound like I was overreacting which I apologize for if that is the case. I just never had anyone openly tell me that they talked about me with other people especially not when it was more trash talk than positive talk.Β 

After that family crisis got resolved I really realized how it wasn't that much of a big deal I made it out to be and I felt like the biggest idiot and it was just too embarrassing for me to accept that I was so dramatic about it. I also regretted that I told him so much about this and even more things that I haven't told anyone not even my closest friends and also knowing that my guy talks a lot about me I should've really thought about what I said, I really wasn't thinking straight when texting this dude and regretted it so much. So then I really thought to myself "what should I do? Can I even continue the friendship with this guy, knowing that every single person in his life probably knows me and my face?" My dumbass send him a selfie too yup. I really didn't know what to do so I just talked less and less with him until I eventually just didn't respond anymore and I ended up blocking him on everything.Β 

Now one year later, I really realized just how dumb and immature that was and I am genuinely ashamed that it took me a whole damn year to figure that out and now I want to apologize. What I'll be saying next might sound real dumb just please bear with me. I don't want to continue the friendship with him after I apologize.

I want to apologize because I used such an asshole way of ending the friendship.

One of the main reasons why I ghosted him was to end the friendship in the "friendliest way" I knew which was really stupid and naive of me to think and I did get ghosted from a different person a while after so joke's on my dumbass.Β 

Getting ghosted sucks and it really just embarrasses me that I would use such a coward method on someone I have considered a friend. It was just really rude and selfish of me.

I want to make things right. I just don't know how to approach this, he might've blocked me too for all I know. I haven't really gotten the courage to text him after a whole year has passed.Β 

I would really like some advice on this and how to approach this situation after such a long time has passed.

Thank you so much for reading this really long text and I hope you have a nice day!Β 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Bubbletea

Thank you for reaching out to us about this. I can see in what you've said that you invalidated your feelings around him talking about you to others, and I just want you to know that your feelings are valid and it is uncomfortable to know that people are saying negative things about you, so I totally get that. In terms of moving forward and apologising, I guess you could start by unblocking him and seeing if you can message him? What do you think?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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1 minute ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Bubbletea

Thank you for reaching out to us about this. I can see in what you've said that you invalidated your feelings around him talking about you to others, and I just want you to know that your feelings are valid and it is uncomfortable to know that people are saying negative things about you, so I totally get that. In terms of moving forward and apologising, I guess you could start by unblocking him and seeing if you can message him? What do you think?

Yeah, I tried just now. He blocked me too

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21 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear he blocked you too. How are you feeling? What do you think you might do now?Β 

Well, there isn't much I can do except to move on and not do it again. Lesson has been learned and if it does ever happen again (which it won't), I'll apologize sooner and not live in denial for a year.

Even though I do feel a bit sad that I can't apologize, it isn't something that will majorly impact my life. I have more important things to do than think about this. Don't think too much about things you can't change and instead think about the things you can change right?Β 

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  • Digital Mentor
16 hours ago, Bubbletea said:

Well, there isn't much I can do except to move on and not do it again. Lesson has been learned and if it does ever happen again (which it won't), I'll apologize sooner and not live in denial for a year.

Even though I do feel a bit sad that I can't apologize, it isn't something that will majorly impact my life. I have more important things to do than think about this. Don't think too much about things you can't change and instead think about the things you can change right?Β 

Hey,

You're absolutely right; you can't change what happened, but you can learn from it and grow. Would you like anymore support for this, or are you good?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

You're absolutely right; you can't change what happened, but you can learn from it and grow. Would you like anymore support for this, or are you good?

Heya,

I think I'm good actually. Thanks!

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