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Family is not supportive


Mattie
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My family makes me feel like I have to hide who I really am. Im non binary and Bi and my family doesn’t know. If they knew then I wouldn’t have to be someone else around them. But in reality if they knew then they wouldn’t accept me. What should I do?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Mattie

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I'm sorry to hear your family are making you feel like you have to hide who you are. I'm wondering, can you tell me more about how you know they won't accept you? 

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On 8/13/2022 at 4:25 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey @Mattie

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I'm sorry to hear your family are making you feel like you have to hide who you are. I'm wondering, can you tell me more about how you know they won't accept you? 

Idk they say that they accept everyone and people can be who they want to be. I just feel like they say that so they don’t look bad. They make comments and stuff whenever lgbt stuff is mentioned on tv.  And it makes me feel like if I were to come out to them then they’ll act the same way. They are just very opinionated people and it’s not just for lgbt stuff it’s for everything. Idk what to do. If I tell them then it will make things uncomfortable in the family and they will look at me differently. It I hold it in I feel like I’m living a fake life. Like I’m in a body that’s not my true form. Either way it will hurt and I can’t see a way where I can be happy and at the same time keep my family happy too. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Mattie, I'm Aurora, I'm one of the other support mentors here. I thought I would reply while Monsoon is away. I'm sorry you are feeling like you can't open up to your family. Coming out is often scary as we don't know how the other person will react and it is totally normal to feel like that.  I'm wondering whether there is anyone in your family who you think would be supportive if you told them? Maybe you could speak to them first and see how it goes? Then they might be able to support you if you decided to tell the rest of your family. What do you think? 

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  • 1 month later...

I'm in a similar dilemma right now, but so far I've planed on coming out as trans and pan when my parents ask me "what do you want to be next year." Our parents seem very similar, so if I do come out before you, I'll be sure to tell you how it went in hopes advice! 😀

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  • Digital Mentor
1 hour ago, Egg said:

I'm in a similar dilemma right now, but so far I've planed on coming out as trans and pan when my parents ask me "what do you want to be next year." Our parents seem very similar, so if I do come out before you, I'll be sure to tell you how it went in hopes advice! 😀

Hey there,

How are you feeling about coming out? Are you ready to go for it? If you'd like any advice, just let us know. 

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