I'm bi, but I'm not sure I'm bi

[WolfyCZE]

Hi, you can call me Wolfy, I'm 20 (plus few days) old girl that realized my true sexuality just recently, there was some clues from my childhood to now that I might not be straight, but I never thought that I'm bi, I just thought I'm weird, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was five and diagnosed with autism when I was eleven, so I thought that it's something with my diagnoses than my sexuality. I just think I'm bisexual, but I'm not sure. I'm bisexual by the definition of bisexuality, but I don't feel like that definition sits with me. I'm more attracted to males than females, I'm more sexually attracted to males and more romantically attracted mo females. This goes for 2 or so years now. So am I bisexual or is this just a phase?

PS:Thank you for reading this

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Welcome :)

I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out. I think the fact that this has been going on for two years now shows that these feelings mean something and are important for your life; what do you think? I'm wondering, have you explored them at all, and if so, how was that? 

[WolfyCZE]

At least I know, that these feeling, I have about me being bi, are important in my life, I believe it's not just phase, I'm just not sure what is it, maybe I have nothing to worry about and it's my overthinking. I'm very introverted person, I would be much more sure if I ever was with someone, I've never done anything bisexual, if I can call it that, plus my preference are males, so that's the part I'm not sure of mostly. I've never done any research neither, just today, I've seen some videos about bisexuality, I've learn that many people takes it as spectrum, "bisexuality doesn't mean that I have to be actracted to males and females equally", so I'm more confidant with being bi thanks to that, but there is still some uncertainty. I take that I'm bi and I feel much happier, but I'm scared I might loose that feeling of knowing something about me, that feeling of... I don't know how to describe it, but it's really calming and it makes me really happy, that something that I think is surely true. My fear is holding me back from being confidant, the roots of this fear is my anxiaty, what if I'm not bi, how can I be sure and questions like that, THAT'S the uncertainty I feel and I get it just now while I'm writing this. Maybe I should do something with my anxiaty first, many problems in my life would be gone or at least they wouldn't be so big if I worked on this first.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I completely get what you mean around how being confident about this is good to know. We all have a desire to know our identity, and when we are sure about an aspect of that, such as our sexuality, it feels really good. I'm thinking, would you find it helpful to explore? It might be that doing that helps you to understand more and builds your confidence. I think that having new experiences is one of the best ways to build your confidence. What do you think? 

[WolfyCZE]

Well, meeting new people is good, it would help me a lot to have some friends, maybe meet more bisexual people, to learn from them. That would surely help me, but I don't know where to start or how to start, I'm autistic and any social interactions are very hard for me, but I want to try.

[Monsoon]

Hey,

I'm wondering, can you tell me about a time when you've met someone new before and it has gone well?