Coming out?

[Randomgirl.]

I know that I’m not ready to come out at all for many reasons. 1- I am 14 and live in a small town and news travels very fast. I’m not embarrassed or anything but I don’t need everyone knowing my business.

2- I don’t exactly know my label. I know I’m definitely attracted to girls, but not so much sure about boys. I have had crushes on them before but just not anymore. Maybe I will again though and it’s really confusing me. 
3- I’m way too scared to tell my family. I know they would support me that’s not the issue. But im still terrified. 
Ive had a huge crush on this girl for months now though, and I feel like I really really need to tell someone or im going to explode. I want to tell my bestfriend (who I trust with my life) but I know that once I tell one person, im going to have to tell everyone. Also then, once im out there’s no coming back. Agh Idek why i just typed out all that it’s not like anyone else can solve my problems. Also I’ve been lying in bed for an hour now instead of doing homework cuz I have no motivation ugh. Please tell me someone relates 

[Randomgirl.]

UPDATE IM HAPPY NOW BECAUSE IM TEXTING HER AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Monsoon]

Hey @Randomgirl.

How are you? So exciting that you're texting her - how is it going? 

I just want you to know that although it doesn't seem like it now, as time goes on, you will understand our sexuality more and more. It won't always be this confusing, and it will become clearer over time. However, I know that this can be really frustrating. Can I ask, do you have a gut feeling as to what your label might be? 

[Randomgirl.]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Randomgirl.

How are you? So exciting that you're texting her - how is it going? 

I just want you to know that although it doesn't seem like it now, as time goes on, you will understand our sexuality more and more. It won't always be this confusing, and it will become clearer over time. However, I know that this can be really frustrating. Can I ask, do you have a gut feeling as to what your label might be? 

Well I’m not sure, but my gut is telling me that girls are wayy more attractive, so maybe lesbian? Or maybe I’m just bisexual. I know your right though because I’ve already come to understand my sexuality a little bit more than when I first started questioning it. I thought I was crazy I’m seeing her tonight actually, so that’s great. 

[Monsoon]

Hey @Randomgirl.

It's interesting that your gut is telling you that. I always like to ask about the gut feeling in these kinds of situations, because it is usually right, however, things can change. But yeah, as you said, you've already come to understand more since you started questioning, and this will only continue as time goes on  

How did it go seeing your crush? What happened? 

[Randomgirl.]

9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Randomgirl.

It's interesting that your gut is telling you that. I always like to ask about the gut feeling in these kinds of situations, because it is usually right, however, things can change. But yeah, as you said, you've already come to understand more since you started questioning, and this will only continue as time goes on  

How did it go seeing your crush? What happened? 

It was great as it always is. She’s just so fun to be around. I really think she purposely talks to me more than anyone else, which is great, but I know she only sees me as a friend. But it’s still great anyway and it’s the best I’m going to get. 

[Monsoon]

Hey,

That's great to hear that you always have a good time with her  

I'm wondering, is there a chance that it could go further at some point? 

[Randomgirl.]

3 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That's great to hear that you always have a good time with her  

I'm wondering, is there a chance that it could go further at some point? 

I really dont know. I’m texting her again now and we do get on great so maybe we could get closer as friends but I doubt much else

[Star23]

I really want to as I live in a very LGBTQ+ school and nobody I know is homophobic. IDK hoe to say it though!

[Star23]

I really want to come out, I mean.

[Monsoon]

14 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

I really dont know. I’m texting her again now and we do get on great so maybe we could get closer as friends but I doubt much else

Hey there,

It sounds like you're getting on really well which is great. I think my best bit of advice here is to try if you really do want something to happen. Yeah, it might not work out, but you'll never know if you don't try. What do you think? 

[Monsoon]

8 hours ago, Star23 said:

I really want to as I live in a very LGBTQ+ school and nobody I know is homophobic. IDK hoe to say it though!

Hey there,

I saw that you posted a topic about this, so I'll reply to that if that's okay?

[Randomgirl.]

7 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you're getting on really well which is great. I think my best bit of advice here is to try if you really do want something to happen. Yeah, it might not work out, but you'll never know if you don't try. What do you think? 

Maybe yeah I think I might wait a little longer then tell my best friend first. Thanks!

[Monsoon]

Hey,

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. What advice do you think they might give you?

[Randomgirl.]

19 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. What advice do you think they might give you?

I’m not sure, but honestly I look up to my best friend so much. She’s the wisest person I know so I know she would say something really helpful and supportive 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, it sounds like a really good idea to speak with her. Maybe you can let us know what she says?

[Randomgirl.]

On 10/8/2021 at 6:19 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, it sounds like a really good idea to speak with her. Maybe you can let us know what she says?

I will

[Randomgirl.]

Ok I still haven’t told my best friend- or anyone, buttttt! Yesterday I was with the girl I have a crush on all day and I actually hugged her. I’m so happy aghhh :) just needed to share that

[Alliexo]

17 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Ok I still haven’t told my best friend- or anyone, buttttt! Yesterday I was with the girl I have a crush on all day and I actually hugged her. I’m so happy aghhh just needed to share that

Hey that’s so cute I’m happy you got to hug her! 
about you coming out, I’ve also been nervous so I totally get you. I had 2 friends randomly ask if I was “fruity” and I didn’t know what it was. They explained and I felt really put on the spot and said I didn’t know lol. Turns out one is actually bi and the other is lesbian! They were very supportive of me. I was nervous to tell my BFF because I didn’t want it changing anything between us. It happened over text tho and she’s cool with it and starting talking about how we should have a sleepover soon and I cried so much, I’m very grateful to have her. Only come out to people you trust and when you are ready. My next struggle would be coming out to my parents, I trust them but am just not ready yet and that’s ok. You will be ok too! 

[Randomgirl.]

14 minutes ago, Alliexo said:

Hey that’s so cute I’m happy you got to hug her! 
about you coming out, I’ve also been nervous so I totally get you. I had 2 friends randomly ask if I was “fruity” and I didn’t know what it was. They explained and I felt really put on the spot and said I didn’t know lol. Turns out one is actually bi and the other is lesbian! They were very supportive of me. I was nervous to tell my BFF because I didn’t want it changing anything between us. It happened over text tho and she’s cool with it and starting talking about how we should have a sleepover soon and I cried so much, I’m very grateful to have her. Only come out to people you trust and when you are ready. My next struggle would be coming out to my parents, I trust them but am just not ready yet and that’s ok. You will be ok too! 

Thank you so much! I’m so happy for you that your friends are so supportive. I know that my best friend would support me too, but I’m still really scared. I look up to her so much, and I would hate for her to see me any different. I don’t get to see her much because she’s in a boarding school, but I know I want to tell her in person. (We’re both pretty bad texters it could take her hours to answer my text and that would drive me crazy) I know how you feel aswell. There have been times when my friends were joking around about being gay. (Not in a homophobic way or anything they wouldn’t do that) but 2 of my other friends can be pretty mean sometimes. I love them, but I wouldn’t trust them with much. If I came out to them, I’m scared they would be nice about it to me but talk about me behind my back. You’re right- and I’m not going to do anything until I’m sure I’m ready. But best of luck coming out to your parents whenever you decide to!

[Monsoon]

22 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Ok I still haven’t told my best friend- or anyone, buttttt! Yesterday I was with the girl I have a crush on all day and I actually hugged her. I’m so happy aghhh just needed to share that

Hey,

Oh, that's amazing! How did it feel hugging her? When do you think you might speak to your best friend about it?

4 hours ago, Alliexo said:

Hey that’s so cute I’m happy you got to hug her! 
about you coming out, I’ve also been nervous so I totally get you. I had 2 friends randomly ask if I was “fruity” and I didn’t know what it was. They explained and I felt really put on the spot and said I didn’t know lol. Turns out one is actually bi and the other is lesbian! They were very supportive of me. I was nervous to tell my BFF because I didn’t want it changing anything between us. It happened over text tho and she’s cool with it and starting talking about how we should have a sleepover soon and I cried so much, I’m very grateful to have her. Only come out to people you trust and when you are ready. My next struggle would be coming out to my parents, I trust them but am just not ready yet and that’s ok. You will be ok too! 

Hey there,

Sorry to intrude, but if you want support for coming out your parents, just let us know

 

[Randomgirl.]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Oh, that's amazing! How did it feel hugging her? When do you think you might speak to your best friend about it?

Hey there,

Sorry to intrude, but if you want support for coming out your parents, just let us know

I’m not sure when I’m going to tell my best friend. I might do it before Christmas though. Also- hugging her was the best thing ever. She’s adorable :)

[Alliexo]

19 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

Thank you so much! I’m so happy for you that your friends are so supportive. I know that my best friend would support me too, but I’m still really scared. I look up to her so much, and I would hate for her to see me any different. I don’t get to see her much because she’s in a boarding school, but I know I want to tell her in person. (We’re both pretty bad texters it could take her hours to answer my text and that would drive me crazy) I know how you feel aswell. There have been times when my friends were joking around about being gay. (Not in a homophobic way or anything they wouldn’t do that) but 2 of my other friends can be pretty mean sometimes. I love them, but I wouldn’t trust them with much. If I came out to them, I’m scared they would be nice about it to me but talk about me behind my back. You’re right- and I’m not going to do anything until I’m sure I’m ready. But best of luck coming out to your parents whenever you decide to!

Yeah I get how you feel, I also admire my BFF lots and didn’t want to change anything between us. It all worked out in the end though, I hope it does for you too! It’s great that you trust her and know she will support you, I think it already sounds good for you. Anyways take you’re time because I didn’t really get a chance too but make sure you don’t overthink it! Sometimes when I overthink I assume the worst is going to happen but that’s actually not a good way of thinking. Good luck, keep your head up.

[Randomgirl.]

1 hour ago, Alliexo said:

Yeah I get how you feel, I also admire my BFF lots and didn’t want to change anything between us. It all worked out in the end though, I hope it does for you too! It’s great that you trust her and know she will support you, I think it already sounds good for you. Anyways take you’re time because I didn’t really get a chance too but make sure you don’t overthink it! Sometimes when I overthink I assume the worst is going to happen but that’s actually not a good way of thinking. Good luck, keep your head up.

Aw thank you. That’s great advice. Hope you’re having a nice day

[Monsoon]

17 hours ago, Randomgirl. said:

I’m not sure when I’m going to tell my best friend. I might do it before Christmas though. Also- hugging her was the best thing ever. She’s adorable

Hey,

Aww, yeah I bet! Do you think you might get another hug soon?