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Hi there well uhmm all my life ive always been spotted out as the ugly child ugly duckling etc from people around me been compared alot with my friends been told countless times how ugly i was had a time in highschool when the teacher asked girls to state their preferences in boys vice versa and the boys list was all about me from my dark lips to my scars along with other things then as i grew older guys would hit on me and id tell some people about it and it would always be impossible or im lieing like they meant to say it couldnt be me like im ugly why would they then my bestfriend went on to say that i was really ugly in highschool and thats why my boyfriend by then cheated on me not that matters anymore but my recent boyfriends shared a meme about how gurls look ugly without makeup and at that point it was the day i decided not to wear makeup and hangout with them (i hope i dont come off as self centered or everything is always about me) but that was what it was so recently after uni when i had been exposed to wearing makeup using filters my social media photos attracted some attention i wasnt considered ugly anymore but see i dont wear alot of makeup  because i dont even look good with it when its too much and i dont photoshop or facetune my pictures because no judgment here but that would be sort of like catfishing if I changed my appearance so much so i try to keep it as original as possible but owell my brother straight up used me as an example of if u saw her picture s and met her in person  shes much uglier than her photos i know i know i shouldnt be moved by peoples words or opinions but i dont know why im moved why all these thoughts come back to me why im hurt like why am i like this i feel worthless like i want to love myself i really want to but its soo hard when i dont seem to do nothing right my appearance doesnt save me like i feel like i have nothing to offer to the world and worthless…..no one understands i dont want to look like its all self pity or doubt but i cant deal with it anymore  its eating me up …

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Little currant

Welcome to our community. I totally get why you are feeling bad about yourself after having all of these negative experiences with people around you. It is really difficult to not believe these kinds of negative comments about ourselves; deep down, at some point, we all have a need for validation and compliments. For many people, their self-esteem becomes dependent on what other people think of them, so if people don't compliment them, they assume that they have low self-worth. Learning to love ourselves regardless of what people say and do is the best thing we can do for our self-esteem. I can really see why this would eat you up, but I'm really pleased that you're opening up about how you feel, because when we say it out loud, we then give our mind space to reflect on where we are and what we could do to move forward.

How are you feeling after getting all of this off your chest? 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Tbh i felt better when i did but i dont know why those things keep coming back to haunt me like i keep trying to get passed the need of validation to ignore all of it and move on but its hard  its really hard !!!! I was sitting on my bed today questioning why do i have to have all this in my head like why does it have to be me i haven’t really wronged any of the people who hurt me my life isnt what id want it to be like rn nothing seems to be going great I’ve tried gratification im trying books to help me understand my emotions but im a wreck i feel hopeless i want to get better i dont want to feel like this but even in my struggle theres always something to make it worse… i could go on and on about it but truthfully i have never really wronged anyone to deserve all the things ive been through im not saying im perfect but all the people who contributed to how i am rn like the only qtn that comes to mind is what did i do why me …so if u ask me how i feel right about now i feel horrible 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Little currant

Thank you for being so open about how you're feeling right now. I just want to say, you're absolutely right - you don't deserve all the things you've been through. You deserve to be treated with respect, and it's completely understandable to feel bad about this, maybe even angry as well. If you could say one thing to those who wronged you, what would it be? 

Also, it's good to really just be so honest about how things actually are going; I think that it can be easy to just pretend like everything's okay and that you're on top of it all, but it can be so helpful to really just pour your emotions out. I think that for a lot of people who make mean comments about others, they often have something going on themselves, and their way of feeling better is by being mean to others. What do you think? By seeing it from this perspective, it can help us to see that these people probably didn't mean what they said, and they did it to just make themselves feel better. 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

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