SeEna Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 I’m SeEna, for a while I have thought I was bisexual but never had the courage to tell anyone about it or try and figure out what my sexuality is, because I didn’t know if I wanted to know the answer. Around 2 weeks ago I finally decided to explore my sexuality and now know I am bi. I’ve want to tell someone about how happy I am that I can now know and understand who I am. I do want to tell my friends and family, but I’m trying to find the words/time to tell them. When I think it’s the right time I just chicken out. I’m mostly scared what my family’s reaction will be, my mother supports me in lots of the things I do. Although I think I would have her support, when the conversation of sexualities ever come up wether that be in movies we watch or reading something online about it; she acts so indifferent so it’s hard for me to read what her reaction would be. My father is indifferent as well, my aunt makes homophobic remarks sometimes so I’m starting to wonder if that might be my fathers opinion as well. I believe that my parents wouldn’t stop loving me for coming out, but they might not be supportive. I’m just not sure of what to do at this point, wether I should tell them or just keep it to myself for the time being. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Hey @SeEna Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. I'm glad to hear that you're happy about understanding who you are. Tell us more about it! With coming out, I think it's important to only do it when you feel ready. If you don't feel ready, then it's totally okay to wait. It's interesting that you say both your mother and father appear indifferent; do you think that this could be because they are totally accepting of sexualities? Usually, when someone disagrees, they have a negative reaction and make that known. Have your mother and father done anything else to make you think that they aren't accepting of LGBTQ+? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeEna Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 Thank you for your advice, and to answer your question. My father would agree with my aunt homophobic remarks; for example he would say “I know right, I get what you mean.” I don’t know if he’s agreeing with her just to agree with her so their won’t be conflict, or he actually shares the same opinion as her. He doesn’t make bad remarks/statements, when my aunt is not around; so that’s what lead me to believe he’s either indifferent or not supportive. As you said indifferent could mean, that they accepting and that may be the case for my mother. She doesn’t say anything regarding the LGBQT+ community. I’d like to believe that my mother would be supportive, but it’s really hard to tell what her reaction would be. Most likely she would ask my dad if his thoughts, which mostly would influence her reaction. Should I ask in general what their opinion is on the LGBQT+ community? I think it’s a hard question to ask mostly because I don’t know if their answer will be something I want to know, if that makes sense. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Hey, Yeah, you made a good point about how he may just agree with your aunt to avoid the conflict. I guess that if he also shared her views, then he would also be open about them away from her and you would have realised now. What do you reckon? I think that it could be a good idea to try to find out what their opinions of the LGBTQ+ community are. Maybe you could try watching a film or TV show with an LGBTQ+ theme; what do you think? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeEna Posted July 14, 2021 Author Share Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) I think you’re right usually if someone were to have a firm opinion about something (like my aunt did) they would be open to sharing it. So maybe my dad doesn’t actually think badly of the LGBQT+ as my aunt. Also I think watching a movie involving the LGBQT+ would be a good idea. Do you have any recommendations that you think would be a good choice, and what approach do you think I should take while asking their thoughts of the LGBQT+? Edited July 14, 2021 by SeEna MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 14, 2021 Share Posted July 14, 2021 Hey, Yeah, sure, I can have a think about recommendations. Can I ask, how old are you? Also, I think I would just watch something with them first without questioning, because you might reveal yourself. You will get a good sense of their thoughts on the LGBTQ+ community by the way that they engage with the show, like, do they look comfortable, do they make any comments, etc. On the other hand, asking those questions might give them the idea that you're LGBTQ+, so it could be good to drop hints. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeEna Posted July 14, 2021 Author Share Posted July 14, 2021 Thank you for the guidance in which questions I should ask. Also I am 14 years old (about to turn 15). Do you think after we were to watch the movie and get their thoughts (wether their reaction would be negative or not) should I inform them of my sexuality; or should I wait? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 15, 2021 Share Posted July 15, 2021 Hey @SeEna Why don't you have a look at this list of LGBTQ+ shows and movies? Love, Simon is a pretty good one. Well, it might be a good idea to see what their reactions are like first. They might seem indifferent again, but I really do think that it's just because they're completely comfortable with it. What do you think? Are you ready to tell them now? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeEna Posted July 15, 2021 Author Share Posted July 15, 2021 I agree, they might be totally comfortable with it; I appreciate your view on that, because I probably wouldn’t have thought about it that way. Also thank you for the recommendation. I think I will wait till Friday or Saturday, because (that’s usually when we watch a movie together and my parents have the day off). I’m going to space out the process, first I’ll watch the movie with them, then I’ll ask them what’s their opinion. Depending on their reaction I’ll tell them that day. Do you think that works? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 Hey @SeEna No worries - we are always here to help. Yeah, I think it's a good idea, but just make sure that you feel ready and safe to come out. Which show/movie do you think you will choose? You will have to let us know how it goes. Good luck! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeEna Posted July 16, 2021 Author Share Posted July 16, 2021 I think I’ll watch Love, Simon with them. I do feel more comfortable, and hopefully I’m able to tell them. Fingers crossed that their reaction/response is good. We are going to watch the movie on Saturday, I told them I have a suggestion for a movie we could watch. Thank you for your help, I’ll tell you how it goes! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 3 hours ago, SeEna said: I think I’ll watch Love, Simon with them. I do feel more comfortable, and hopefully I’m able to tell them. Fingers crossed that their reaction/response is good. We are going to watch the movie on Saturday, I told them I have a suggestion for a movie we could watch. Thank you for your help, I’ll tell you how it goes! Hey. Ah, great choice. Yeah, let us know how it goes. We will keep our fingers crossed 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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