Bullied by my former friend

[Beingbullied]

So i suffer from a condition called gynecomastia(basically manboobs)and college life has been a curse to me.One boy who was my former friend discovered that i have gynecomastia and he started touching me there,pinching it or grabbing it and it really hurts when he does that infront of everyone.other times he verbally humiliates me by saying why dont i wear a bra or something like that.I started hating my body a lot because of him.Please tell me what should i do.I cannot complain cause the teachers womt even bother

[Monsoon]

9 hours ago, Beingbullied said:

So i suffer from a condition called gynecomastia(basically manboobs)and college life has been a curse to me.One boy who was my former friend discovered that i have gynecomastia and he started touching me there,pinching it or grabbing it and it really hurts when he does that infront of everyone.other times he verbally humiliates me by saying why dont i wear a bra or something like that.I started hating my body a lot because of him.Please tell me what should i do.I cannot complain cause the teachers womt even bother

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your former friend is bullying you. I can totally see why you would feel hurt by his actions; this must be pretty uncomfortable for you to experience. I just want to reassure you that you do not deserve this, no one does, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. I noticed what you said about how the teachers won't even bother if you do tell them; are you able to tell me more about that? Also, can I ask, have you spoken to him about how this makes you feel?

[Beingbullied]

On 1/7/2023 at 11:44 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your former friend is bullying you. I can totally see why you would feel hurt by his actions; this must be pretty uncomfortable for you to experience. I just want to reassure you that you do not deserve this, no one does, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. I noticed what you said about how the teachers won't even bother if you do tell them; are you able to tell me more about that? Also, can I ask, have you spoken to him about how this makes you feel?

Thanks for Replying!

the teachers won’t bother ive seen them being least bothered.And especially for me since im a “male”.If i wouldve been a girl they wouldve helped but not for a boy.

He isnt the type of boy that i can speaks to “about how i feel” he will most likely make that also into a joke.

I shouldnt have become his friend in the first place its my fault but at the start of college i had no friends for almost a week so i was a bit desperate for which i am paying the price now.

 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I'm wondering then, instead of telling the teacher, could you maybe tell someone else, such as a school leader, like an assistant headteacher, perhaps? It might help with them being more senior, especially if you ask your parents/carers to do it with you.

Also, I noticed what you said about how this is your fault and I just want to reassure you that you didn't know when you made friends with him that he would then end up doing this to you. I'm wondering, with him, do you think he knows how it makes you feel? 

[Beingbullied]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm wondering then, instead of telling the teacher, could you maybe tell someone else, such as a school leader, like an assistant headteacher, perhaps? It might help with them being more senior, especially if you ask your parents/carers to do it with you.

Also, I noticed what you said about how this is your fault and I just want to reassure you that you didn't know when you made friends with him that he would then end up doing this to you. I'm wondering, with him, do you think he knows how it makes you feel? 

The lecturers here are least bothered they just want to teach and go.Thats it!and our principal is too busy to meet.I asked to set an appointment with him once and he declined.

nah he doesnt know about how he makes me feel.He enjoys it.He enjoys the attention he gets.Like now everyone at college dont even talk to me because i am “weird”.I had no friends in school and now i dont have friends at college too.In addition i got a bully in college.
I wish i could tell my parents but im too ashamed to tell them

[TinyDinos]

On 1/7/2023 at 12:28 AM, Beingbullied said:

So i suffer from a condition called gynecomastia(basically manboobs)and college life has been a curse to me.One boy who was my former friend discovered that i have gynecomastia and he started touching me there,pinching it or grabbing it and it really hurts when he does that infront of everyone.other times he verbally humiliates me by saying why dont i wear a bra or something like that.I started hating my body a lot because of him.Please tell me what should i do.I cannot complain cause the teachers womt even bother

Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I just wanted to let you know that NONE of this is your fault. Choosing to be friends with someone doesn’t make you responsible for all of their actions. Have you reported this to the police?? What he’s doing *is* sexual assault and you can report that. I’ve experienced sexual assault before as well, and it sounds weird, but if he leaves marks on you, esp since you said he’s pinching you, take pictures of it. That’s what I had to do to be taken seriously by showing images of evidence that this was happening. You can also report harassment and get a restraining order for assault. Sending love and hugs and I hope this helps

Edited January 9, 2023 by TinyDinos

[Monsoon]

21 hours ago, Beingbullied said:

The lecturers here are least bothered they just want to teach and go.Thats it!and our principal is too busy to meet.I asked to set an appointment with him once and he declined.

nah he doesnt know about how he makes me feel.He enjoys it.He enjoys the attention he gets.Like now everyone at college dont even talk to me because i am “weird”.I had no friends in school and now i dont have friends at college too.In addition i got a bully in college.
I wish i could tell my parents but im too ashamed to tell them

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear the principal declined. I'm thinking, it might be more powerful for your parents to get involved and speak with the school and this is more likely to get the situation moving. Also, with the guy, it sounds like it might be quite helpful for him to know how it makes you feel as this may support him to think about the way he is treating you and then hopefully change his behaviour. What do you think? It's having quite a big impact on your life and I can imagine that you want this to change, and I am not sure he will do anything differently if he does not know how it makes you feel. 

[Ginny_Weasley_Rules]

On 1/9/2023 at 7:22 PM, Beingbullied said:

The lecturers here are least bothered they just want to teach and go.Thats it!and our principal is too busy to meet.I asked to set an appointment with him once and he declined.

nah he doesnt know about how he makes me feel.He enjoys it.He enjoys the attention he gets.Like now everyone at college dont even talk to me because i am “weird”.I had no friends in school and now i dont have friends at college too.In addition i got a bully in college.
I wish i could tell my parents but im too ashamed to tell them

Hey,

I know that you and him aren’t friends right now but you should probably talk to him about it and if he just shrugs it off as nothing then try getting your parents in contact with the principal as he is more likely to respond to them because he will think it is more serious if parents are getting in contact with him. If this doesn’t work, next time the ex-friend does this to you, say something like “this isn’t cool with me” but make it sound like it’s something you would say. If none of this works, then I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. No one can know who this person is gonna be or how they’re gonna act when you meet someone for the first time and become their friend. This isn’t on you and you don’t deserve this, no matter what anyone tells you. I hope this helps, good luck.