I am autistic and have ADHD and I just can't get a job!

[Horseygirl]

Hi guys, 

 

So it's gotten to the point where i'm giving up. I just can't handle it anymore, i'm so exhausted. I've been trying and trying and TRYING to get my first job for months now. I had jaw surgery in March, and it's been so hard. My parents have been threatening to kick me out of the house if I don't get a job soon. I have Autism and ADHD and I'm struggling. I'm so, SO tired mentally, physically, emotionally, from trying to get a job and I have no idea what to do because I just can't take it anymore. I want a job I LIKE, one I'm passionate about. Everyone's telling me to go work at Coles or Kmart or fast food, but I don't want to. I was at mcdondalds for like 3 shifts and left because i got hurt and no one did anything about it (being autistic, i dont think the same way about what to do when i get hurt compared to how people without autism think when they get hurt). I'm just so tired, i just want to cry all of the time, I don't feel very happy anymore because I'm ALWAYS stressed and thinking about how I don't have a job...i just don't even KNOW how to put it into words. I'm so so so SO tired. As I said, physically, emotionally and mentally. I feel like my mental health is suffering because of this. In my country we have what's known as the National Disability Insurance Scheme (ndis) and it helps people with disabilities. I'm currently on that and I think I will need someone from there to help me get a job because I just can't handle it anymore. All i want to do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and hope my health, all emotionally, physically and mentally improves, because I'm just so exhausted. I'm sorry i know i've said that a lot now, but I just can't put into words how i'm feeling. I need help, i've tried reaching out to people and no one will help me. I feel like i'm going downhill and I don't know what to do...i owe my mum $640 because we're flying down to melbourne later this month for my great granny's 100th and I dont have a job, i only get $153.15 a MONTH from Ndis, and I'm struggling. I only get that much a month as said for clothes and sensory equipment etc....i just can't handle this anymore. I'm not going to do anything stupid, absolutely not so please do not think i am because trust me i'm not. I've got too many things yet to do. I'm just so exhausted from struggling for months to get a job and i STILL don't have a job. i want a job i'm passionate about. I love horses but if i can get a job as a dog groomer, i'd be happy. I was told i have a job at this dog grooming place but the lady in charge won't reply to my messages about me starting work, and I'm desperate...please just someone help me. I just can't do it anymore. I'm so tired, i feel absolutely exhausted, like i have no energy, and most of all, i feel like i've lost my spirit, like all the fight has gone out of me. I'm just giving up now. I can't handle this on my own, it's too hard. I need help, so please, just ANY advice, anything at all, please just help me. Please.

[Blondie]

7 hours ago, Horseygirl said:

Hi guys, 

So it's gotten to the point where i'm giving up. I just can't handle it anymore, i'm so exhausted. I've been trying and trying and TRYING to get my first job for months now. I had jaw surgery in March, and it's been so hard. My parents have been threatening to kick me out of the house if I don't get a job soon. I have Autism and ADHD and I'm struggling. I'm so, SO tired mentally, physically, emotionally, from trying to get a job and I have no idea what to do because I just can't take it anymore. I want a job I LIKE, one I'm passionate about. Everyone's telling me to go work at Coles or Kmart or fast food, but I don't want to. I was at mcdondalds for like 3 shifts and left because i got hurt and no one did anything about it (being autistic, i dont think the same way about what to do when i get hurt compared to how people without autism think when they get hurt). I'm just so tired, i just want to cry all of the time, I don't feel very happy anymore because I'm ALWAYS stressed and thinking about how I don't have a job...i just don't even KNOW how to put it into words. I'm so so so SO tired. As I said, physically, emotionally and mentally. I feel like my mental health is suffering because of this. In my country we have what's known as the National Disability Insurance Scheme (ndis) and it helps people with disabilities. I'm currently on that and I think I will need someone from there to help me get a job because I just can't handle it anymore. All i want to do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and hope my health, all emotionally, physically and mentally improves, because I'm just so exhausted. I'm sorry i know i've said that a lot now, but I just can't put into words how i'm feeling. I need help, i've tried reaching out to people and no one will help me. I feel like i'm going downhill and I don't know what to do...i owe my mum $640 because we're flying down to melbourne later this month for my great granny's 100th and I dont have a job, i only get $153.15 a MONTH from Ndis, and I'm struggling. I only get that much a month as said for clothes and sensory equipment etc....i just can't handle this anymore. I'm not going to do anything stupid, absolutely not so please do not think i am because trust me i'm not. I've got too many things yet to do. I'm just so exhausted from struggling for months to get a job and i STILL don't have a job. i want a job i'm passionate about. I love horses but if i can get a job as a dog groomer, i'd be happy. I was told i have a job at this dog grooming place but the lady in charge won't reply to my messages about me starting work, and I'm desperate...please just someone help me. I just can't do it anymore. I'm so tired, i feel absolutely exhausted, like i have no energy, and most of all, i feel like i've lost my spirit, like all the fight has gone out of me. I'm just giving up now. I can't handle this on my own, it's too hard. I need help, so please, just ANY advice, anything at all, please just help me. Please.

Hey there! I hear you loud and clear and can understand why this is so incredibly frustrating for you!

Also, thank you for clarifying that you aren't going to do anything that might risk your life - we always want to make sure you're safe.

Do you know fi NDIS have any schemes that help get people back into work? Are you able to pop into the dog groomers and chat to the lady who offered you a start? It could be that she's super busy and hasn't had a minute.

Are there lots of dog groomers near where you live? Could you (if you haven't already) take your CV in to them and ask them to keep you in mind if opportunities turn up? Sometimes the face to face can put you at the front of their mind. 

[Horseygirl]

7 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey there! I hear you loud and clear and can understand why this is so incredibly frustrating for you!

Also, thank you for clarifying that you aren't going to do anything that might risk your life - we always want to make sure you're safe.

Do you know fi NDIS have any schemes that help get people back into work? Are you able to pop into the dog groomers and chat to the lady who offered you a start? It could be that she's super busy and hasn't had a minute.

Are there lots of dog groomers near where you live? Could you (if you haven't already) take your CV in to them and ask them to keep you in mind if opportunities turn up? Sometimes the face to face can put you at the front of their mind. 

I think the NDIS will be able to help me get a job, and one I like, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about getting their help. I'm pretty new to the NDIS, as I only got on it this year after 2 years of trying to get on it. I'm actually planning on going into the dog groomers and talking to the lady about the job as I really need this job. I do really hope that the case is that she HAS been busy and hasn't had a chance to reply yet, because I have a bad feeling she has decided she no longer wants me to start working there. I think there's one or two dog places near me, I'm not entirely sure. I have got a carer from NDIS who can take me out to places, so I don't think transport should be a problem. I just wish that getting a job wasn't this hard. Like this might sound absolutely ridiculous, but I'm wondering if one of the reasons no one is hiring me is because I'm autistic and ADHD. Like I said, that probably sounds ridiculous, but I honestly cannot think of any other reason as to why no one would give me a chance and hire me. I actually have a phone call with my therapist today at 11:30am, and I'm hoping he can give me some advice and tips, and I'm also hoping I wont embarrass myself by crying on the phone to him. He's a really nice guy but I don't know him that well so me crying on the phone to him would absolutely humiliate me. I'm just really worried about the outcome of this whole situation. Like I'm not trying to be like 'what if this happens, what if that happens' but I can't help wondering what if the lady who said I had a job at her dog grooming place gets like REALLY mad about me just turning up? I feel like me just turning up would maybe make her not want me to start working there even more. Like she never SAID that she didn't want me working there...sorry I think my anxiety is starting to take hold. I just want this to be over. The struggle for a job i mean. It's been going on for MONTHS since I had jaw surgery. One thing I must explain is I was born 3 months premature at home delivered by the ambulence, on oxygen until i was 3 and in an incubator for 18 months, and because I was born 3 months premature, my jaw didn't develop properly, hence why I needed to have my bottom jaw realigned and my wisdom teeth out because my bottom jaw was too far back. It's just been so hard. I can't remember if I mentioned that I tried McDonald's for 3 shifts and left, sorry if i've already mentioned it. My dad keeps going on about how I should have stayed at McDonald's and I keep telling him I'm glad I didn't because I got hurt from the hot fry basket that had just come out of hot oil, i told someone that i got hurt and nothing was done. I said to my dad that I absolutely refuse to work in a workplace where if people get hurt its swept under the rug. 

 

I just don't know what to do anymore, I really don't. I'm so tired of trying to find a job by myself, of thinking about it almost 24/7, of having chest pain from stress and having constant anxiety about not getting employed, (i already have VERY bad anxiety). I'm just so exhausted. I wish that someone else could take the reins for me, just for a little bit, because I feel like I've got absolutely no energy left, like I feel like i've overworked myself to the point where I am beyond exhausted, if that makes sense. 

 

Last night, just as a precaution, I applied for these cinemas called Limelight cinemas, and I also emailed this crystal shop that I've been to loads of times, (the owners are SUPER nice) asking if there were any casual jobs available and I explained in the email that I had had jaw surgery and this was my first ever job. I wish I could just work somewhere even if I wasn't passionate about it, because that would solve a lot of my problems, but I'm just so stubborn about working at a place i actually like. Like I absolutely refuse to apply (ever again) to work at a fast food place because honestly McDonald's has traumatized me. I just need someone to help me. Because I've tried SO hard to be independant (which is VERY hard for me because I'm autistic) in trying to get a job, but I just can't handle it anymore. As I mentioned, I feel like my mental, physical and emotional health is going down because the amount of people who won't hire me has really taken a hit on my confidence, which is super bad because I was bullied for 13 years straight all through my school life. 

 

I just wish someone would help me, whether it be a friend, my parents, the ndis, just SOMEONE. Because I can't handle this anymore. I don't have the energy, and I feel like this is just going to result in one major shutdown. (In case you don't know, but you probably do, a shutdown for autistic people is when we get SO overloaded and overwhelmed etc that we just feel we have no more to give. Like for example if we get overwhelmed in a public area because there's too many people, a shutdown could occur where we just won't talk, we'll be very quiet, kind of stare into space etc). 

[Luie]

Heyy,

I have replied to the other post about your parents and the suggestion about jobs. I want to say thanks a lot for explaining terms like overloading to me, I know it's not your responsibility to educate us despite it you did that, appreciate it. My heart goes out to you in terms of your continuous struggle with finding a job, your parents, previous employers that were not respectful towards employee safety, it's definitely challenging. Do you feel there is a discrimination theme with your Autism and ADHD when looking for jobs or has it happened one time?

I see why you're scared to contact the dog related job, but I'd encourage you to check again and see the progress on your interview, it will not scare the employer away, rather will show how you really do want the job and if not, you're willing to take feedback from them. Would you like to give this a go?

This is something I'd like to share with your anxiety - 'Heyy Anxiety, I know that you are looking out for @Horseygirl and wanting to protect her from any humiliation or awkward situations, just know that your therapist is there for you and even if you haven't had multiple sessions with them yet, it is a safe and non-judgemental space (just like Ditch the Label platform is) to express yourself even if it seems irrational or extreme at times. I know how it feels not having positive experiences and making it your default but not everyone is out to get you and not everything will end bad, let's try and be a little self compassionate to our girl shall we?' 

How did the therapy session go for you eventually ?