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I’m scared to come out


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I’m 21 years old and I’m quite scared to come out as bi to my family, a while back my brother came out as trans but my mother, she didn’t take it very well, it’s better now! But how she looked at him when he told her, it’s not something I want her to do to me, I would say we’re pretty close, and I have a good relationship with her but once I tell her it might disappear, and that’s something I don’t want happening, I’m pretty comfortable telling my father and siblings but its my mother I’m worried about. 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @Kji94k00

Welcome to our community. I'm a support mentor here and I give advice to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your mother didn't react well to your brother at first, but glad to learn that it's better now. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of time for things to settle down. I completely get why you're scared and thinking that the relationship might disappear. However, I've supported many people in your kind of situation before, and although things seem a bit weird at first, lots of people say they end up being closer in the end. What do you reckon? 

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I feel like I should tell my siblings first since they all accepted my brother in the beginning, but I hope they will still love me like how they do now, its scary to think it could change but It would be nice to have support while tell my parents, just in case it doesn’t turn out how it turned out I had hope. 
this my plan to tell them,

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey,

Yeah, that sounds like a really good plan. It's great to hear that they all accepted your brother; this makes me strongly believe that they will accept you too :)

Can I ask, do you feel like they love your brother any less for coming out? 

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I feel like they love him a lot more since he came out, he was always so quite and not around us but since he came out he’s been more open, so that’s a good thing! :) 
I also might tell them tonight, since my siblings will all be here and my mother will be gone for her workout..

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I haven’t told them yet, I was so nervous last night and I decided not to, but I’m slowly working up the courage to tell them! I might need a couple of more days, but I’ll will tell them soon! :) 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey there,

Fair enough :). It is pretty normal to feel those nerves, and I'm sure you'll feel a big sense of relief when you do tell them, but yeah, I completely get it. Just take your time if you need to and go at the pace that suits you. How are you today? 

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