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What do you wish the person who bullied you knew?


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Hey Community,

As someone who has gone through my own fair share of bullying I wanted to ask you all a question. 👇🏻

 

  • What do you wish the person who is bullying/bullied you knew?

 

For me it would be to a guy from school when i was 15/16. I wish you knew I already had such fragile self esteem, I already felt ugly and not good enough. I already felt painfully awkward around the opposite sex and it felt like you took a sledge hammer to what was a paper cut.

Above all I wish you knew how it felt to be bullied by you. To be on the receiving end of your own cruel and toxic behaviour. But maybe you did because even though you said those words aloud to me they came from your voice and you had to live with that voice everyday and I bet you anything it said even worse things to you.

Have a think, what would you like them to know?

If you feel like it post back and share what you would say. 📝

Sending support and positivity as always.

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Umm

 

I wish they knew that it took me ages to feel like myself again and that actually I was going through hell with my parents divorcing and life was hard enough. They made my life hell and never apologised for it. But for my own sanity i had to forgive them and let go of all that hurt and anger.

 

So i guess treat people how you would like to be treated, don't be so spineless and hide behind each other. (It was a group of girls)

 

 

 

 

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I wish they knew how much it hurts and how vulnerable they made me feel.I was hating myself for not be able to stop being bullied.I had changed 3 schools and only in the last one I wasn't bullied.I had changed also and had built a wall so as no one could touch me.I wasn't my self for many years.I had forgotten how it felt to be me.I wish they could feel how painful it was,so as to stop. When I go back when I was in school I still feel bitter.

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Hey kora

 

I get that, when you are bullied you end up feeling so negative towards yourself for not being able to make it stop. It was never ever your fault. You were never the problem. Even now being a bit older I find it so easy to feel bitter towards the guy that bullied me. Over the years I have learned I have to forgive him for my own sanity.

 

It takes time to forgive and there is no short cut. Sharing our experiences is so good for us to deal with it properly. You can always talk about it here whenever you need to.

 

-peach311

 

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Hello peach!

Thanks! Yes it helps to share experience,even if it brings you some flash backs.Yes,it's true! It's never your fault for being bullied.When you are small you can't understand this,you think that you are doing something that brings all the bullying.

I'm sure bullying can affect someone very negative and you need strength to overcome it.I'm also sure I won't forget how horrible it was(I was also being bullied by a teacher,that was very bad,cause then all class thought that if the teachers bullies then they can also bully me).But I think when you overcome something bad and painful you become stronger inside you and better as a human being. I also hope bullying will stop someday!Schools need better support for combating bullying.

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I wish that they knew how bad, hurt, broken and destroyed I already am inside and that I really didn't need them to make me feel even worse. I wish they knew that even though I always ignored them and moved on seeming okay, I actually never was... I wish they knew how much they hurt me and that besides how they seen me and my face, I started to cry everytime I got back home.

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Hey Teras

 

Even though they might never know, I'm so grateful you shared it here with us and with me. I feel exactly the same and want you to know that even though you went through it alone because of Community you never have to be alone with any of it again, there is nothing more powerful than sharing our stories with people who have been there too. ?

 

Sending positivity and support. ?'?

 

-Peach311

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You most definitely are not.

 

We are all in it together. This is why we started community because bullying is hard enough to go through as it is, let alone then feeling like you were or are the only one.

 

-peach311 ??

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Hey Looley1

 

I so know what you mean and that is such a good point. I still remember clearly some things that were said to me years and years ago. Words can be so damaging and painful. ?

 

Thanks for sharing yours. ??

 

-Peach311

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Just want to thank you Peach for starting this thread and to everyone that has been so open. I don't know about anyone else but reading the comments was extremely moving as I recognise all the experiences very well.

 

Bullying for me has had a profound effect on my life and it's something I have always lived with in some form and still do.

 

I started out at school as a friendly, outgoing child with an unconventional background as I had an unmarried mother who gave me a free reign to explore who I was although I had been exposed to domestic violence with other family members.

 

I used to play with dolls which didn't start out as a problem for the other children until the parents found out and encouraged the children to stop playing with me and equate that with homosexuality. From the age of 7 upwards I was gradually ostracised and the bullying became physical. The teachers were told time and again and did nothing and it carried on through high school to sixth form to art college. It made me prey to someone who then sexually abused me in my early teens. Basically it robbed me of a childhood and teenage life and I have never had a relationship and have always struggled with my self image. I am still going through bullying in my local community but am gradually trying to build support systems around me but it's something that is an ongoing process.

 

I would like those who bullied me to know that they stole a large part of my life and placed me in a very vulnerable and sometime dangerous place.

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Hey Alexhelm123,

 

I am so moved by your honesty and want to say a big thank you for sharing it here. This is exactly why I started this thread because being bullied can leave us all feeling voiceless and we are not.

 

What I am slowly learning myself is that we cannot change the past and in order to move on we need to fully acknowledge what we went through with people we trust and love. For me, it was also a case of forgiving myself for situations that followed the bullying because it left me very vulnerable like you.

 

Please keep reaching out for support and we are always here If you need to talk or get anything off your chest.

 

Sending positivity and healing

-Peach311

 

 

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Thanks Peach, I am so grateful to now have this group which is so inclusive. The media seems to be focused on children which is extremely important of course but it doesn't end there.

 

However, in spite of my experiences I remain quite a confident, caring and open person that has achieved a great deal professionally. I think I have lost count of the times I have bounced back.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey,

 

I totally relate and want you to know that we get it. Overcoming bullying is a journey and sometimes you feel totally free from it and moved on and then other days it feels raw again. Never forget you did not deserve it. you are enough and it was never your fault.

 

We are here if you need to talk.

 

Sending positivity

-Peach311

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  • 1 month later...

I wish they knew that it's embarrassing and upsetting and confusing to be called their best friend one minute then be abused physically and verbally and judged by them the next. If they walked a mile in my shoes, they'd fall on the first step. I want them to know that I convince myself that it's true when they call me their best friend but I know it's not. A best friend wouldn't hurt me like that. I want them to know that I was at a good point in my life until I met them. They knocked my confidence drastically and make me doubt myself every day

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