A Girl is Confusing me. Help.

[welches_242]

So, I need a bit of advice. 

There's this girl, who we will be calling Crystal.

I had a club meeting with her that week. She, as per usual, sat in front of me (everyone in the club all developed a spot overtime). She was like "OMG YOU'RE BACK!!! HIIII" with enthusiasm. I said hi back and continued our conversation.

THIS GIRL JUST STARES INTO MY EYES AND FIDDLES WITH MY BAG (which was on me at the time), SHOELACES AND STUFF. THERE WAS NON-STOP EYE CONTACT FOR 2-3 MINUTES WITH ONLY BLINKING WHILE THIS GIRL ABSORBS EVERY WORD I SAY. I was stuttering while I talked. I was very obvious. 

HOWEVER: She has mentioned a girlfriend BUT in a way that can be platonic or romantic. People do that in the clubs and teams I'm in - it gets real confusing. 

I talked to her again recently, nothing seemed odd like the previous encounter.

I think I have a bit of a crush on her but I am not doing anything if there is a possible gf. People deserve to be happy. 

Overall: it was a really odd experience and I have NO CLUE how to interpret it or if I'm just delulu.

[ProffesorSparkles]

17 hours ago, welches_242 said:

So, I need a bit of advice. 

There's this girl, who we will be calling Crystal.

I had a club meeting with her that week. She, as per usual, sat in front of me (everyone in the club all developed a spot overtime). She was like "OMG YOU'RE BACK!!! HIIII" with enthusiasm. I said hi back and continued our conversation.

THIS GIRL JUST STARES INTO MY EYES AND FIDDLES WITH MY BAG (which was on me at the time), SHOELACES AND STUFF. THERE WAS NON-STOP EYE CONTACT FOR 2-3 MINUTES WITH ONLY BLINKING WHILE THIS GIRL ABSORBS EVERY WORD I SAY. I was stuttering while I talked. I was very obvious. 

HOWEVER: She has mentioned a girlfriend BUT in a way that can be platonic or romantic. People do that in the clubs and teams I'm in - it gets real confusing. 

I talked to her again recently, nothing seemed odd like the previous encounter.

I think I have a bit of a crush on her but I am not doing anything if there is a possible gf. People deserve to be happy. 

Overall: it was a really odd experience and I have NO CLUE how to interpret it or if I'm just delulu.

Heya! Im Tom :)

just wanna say, I'm not the most experienced person when it comes to romance, and I might get some stuff wrong, super sorry if I do!

So obv idk much abt ur situation other than the info you've given us, but it does seem like she is interested in you, whether it be romantically or getting to know you better as friends, im not sure, but you said she was rlly listening to what you were saying. Dw abt being obvious abt it, ik how it feels to be nervous and stuff around your crush lmao. You said she mentioned a girlfriend but it could be platonic or romantic, what do you mean by that? Do you mean she was referring to the girl as her gf, like as a joke? My friend does that too, she has about 9 "wives" in the school lol. 

Ik how it feels to be questioning whether your delulu   I think we've all been there before!

All in all, I'd say just see how things go for now? Maybe bring up the gf again and see if she rlly does have one, and then go from there?

Sorry if this hasn't been rlly great advice, im sure other ppl will post some great stuff soon!

[Luie]

On 5/10/2024 at 2:50 AM, welches_242 said:

So, I need a bit of advice. 

There's this girl, who we will be calling Crystal.

I had a club meeting with her that week. She, as per usual, sat in front of me (everyone in the club all developed a spot overtime). She was like "OMG YOU'RE BACK!!! HIIII" with enthusiasm. I said hi back and continued our conversation.

THIS GIRL JUST STARES INTO MY EYES AND FIDDLES WITH MY BAG (which was on me at the time), SHOELACES AND STUFF. THERE WAS NON-STOP EYE CONTACT FOR 2-3 MINUTES WITH ONLY BLINKING WHILE THIS GIRL ABSORBS EVERY WORD I SAY. I was stuttering while I talked. I was very obvious. 

HOWEVER: She has mentioned a girlfriend BUT in a way that can be platonic or romantic. People do that in the clubs and teams I'm in - it gets real confusing. 

I talked to her again recently, nothing seemed odd like the previous encounter.

I think I have a bit of a crush on her but I am not doing anything if there is a possible gf. People deserve to be happy. 

Overall: it was a really odd experience and I have NO CLUE how to interpret it or if I'm just delulu.

I think @ProffesorSparkles has given some good suggestions, I'd just like to add a bit more to it. 

 

It sounds like you had quite the intense encounter with Crystal @welches_242, and I can imagine how confusing and overwhelming that must have been. It's totally normal to feel unsure about how to interpret those kinds of interactions, especially when there are mixed signals involved, I know I'd be confused too. 

It's great that you're considering her possible relationship status and respecting that. That shows a lot of maturity and consideration for her feelings, which is really admirable. When you're in a situation where someone's behaviour is sending mixed messages, it can be really challenging to figure out what's going on. I am curious have you had any other interactions with Crystal that might shed some light on her intentions or feelings? 

Also, I do want to say that it's totally okay to acknowledge your feelings for her and to give yourself space to process them, even if you're not sure where things stand. Having a crush on someone can be exciting but also kind of nerve-wracking, especially when you're not sure if they feel the same way. Do you think you might want to have a casual conversation with Crystal about what happened, just to clear the air and get a better understanding of where she's coming from?  In my experience sometimes, having an open and honest dialogue can help dispel any confusion and bring some clarity to the situation. 

And seriously a little "delulu" sometimes, especially when it comes to matters of the heart makes sense. But it's also important to trust your instincts and give yourself permission to explore your feelings in a way that feels comfortable for you. Here for you! 

 

[welches_242]

On 5/10/2024 at 3:38 PM, ProffesorSparkles said:

Heya! Im Tom :)

just wanna say, I'm not the most experienced person when it comes to romance, and I might get some stuff wrong, super sorry if I do!

So obv idk much abt ur situation other than the info you've given us, but it does seem like she is interested in you, whether it be romantically or getting to know you better as friends, im not sure, but you said she was rlly listening to what you were saying. Dw abt being obvious abt it, ik how it feels to be nervous and stuff around your crush lmao. You said she mentioned a girlfriend but it could be platonic or romantic, what do you mean by that? Do you mean she was referring to the girl as her gf, like as a joke? My friend does that too, she has about 9 "wives" in the school lol. 

Ik how it feels to be questioning whether your delulu   I think we've all been there before!

All in all, I'd say just see how things go for now? Maybe bring up the gf again and see if she rlly does have one, and then go from there?

Sorry if this hasn't been rlly great advice, im sure other ppl will post some great stuff soon!

I really appreciate the response! :)

The "Gf" being platonic or romantic could be one of three things:

(1) Romantic partner 

(2) Female friend 

(3) Complex family tree like calling a friend wife, child, daughter, son, cousin, nephew, granddaughter, sister, etc or multiple at once. 

It's thrown around so casually at my school that you can barely tell (including myself ;-;). People think some friends are dating because of that, even though they are purely platonic - lots of funny stories, lol. 

 

You also mentioned just going with the flow for now, which I am already doing, lol. The trick with mentioning the gf again is finding an opening in a conversation for that. I usually talk to her in group settings for the most part which I've noticed effects the conversation, so who I'm with makes the chances of an opening vary.

[welches_242]

14 hours ago, Luie said:

I think @ProffesorSparkles has given some good suggestions, I'd just like to add a bit more to it. 

It sounds like you had quite the intense encounter with Crystal @welches_242, and I can imagine how confusing and overwhelming that must have been. It's totally normal to feel unsure about how to interpret those kinds of interactions, especially when there are mixed signals involved, I know I'd be confused too. 

It's great that you're considering her possible relationship status and respecting that. That shows a lot of maturity and consideration for her feelings, which is really admirable. When you're in a situation where someone's behaviour is sending mixed messages, it can be really challenging to figure out what's going on. I am curious have you had any other interactions with Crystal that might shed some light on her intentions or feelings? 

Also, I do want to say that it's totally okay to acknowledge your feelings for her and to give yourself space to process them, even if you're not sure where things stand. Having a crush on someone can be exciting but also kind of nerve-wracking, especially when you're not sure if they feel the same way. Do you think you might want to have a casual conversation with Crystal about what happened, just to clear the air and get a better understanding of where she's coming from?  In my experience sometimes, having an open and honest dialogue can help dispel any confusion and bring some clarity to the situation. 

And seriously a little "delulu" sometimes, especially when it comes to matters of the heart makes sense. But it's also important to trust your instincts and give yourself permission to explore your feelings in a way that feels comfortable for you. Here for you! 

Question 1) We talk in group settings for the most part during the one class we have together and club meetings, so I think that was the second or third time we had talked one-on-one. The other time we talked one-on-one is when were doing school work together for like 10ish minutes. It was pretty normal and fun for the most part. She did make our school supplies kiss randomly during the conversation and that they were in a romantic relationship, but even that can be perceived as a normal, chaotic friend thing. 

Question 2) I don't feel like I have enough information to go up to Crystal and be like "hey, you're giving me mixed signals like this, this and this" yet. I think I'm going to wait a bit and then decide if I should say anything. It's entirely possible that everything can even be cleared up accidentally during a conversation, especially because I see her almost everyday.

 

(Also I'm just realizing how much context I'm missing to this whole thing. Idk how to add it tho, so you'll get more as I respond).

[Luie]

8 hours ago, welches_242 said:

Question 1) We talk in group settings for the most part during the one class we have together and club meetings, so I think that was the second or third time we had talked one-on-one. The other time we talked one-on-one is when were doing school work together for like 10ish minutes. It was pretty normal and fun for the most part. She did make our school supplies kiss randomly during the conversation and that they were in a romantic relationship, but even that can be perceived as a normal, chaotic friend thing. 

Question 2) I don't feel like I have enough information to go up to Crystal and be like "hey, you're giving me mixed signals like this, this and this" yet. I think I'm going to wait a bit and then decide if I should say anything. It's entirely possible that everything can even be cleared up accidentally during a conversation, especially because I see her almost everyday.

(Also I'm just realizing how much context I'm missing to this whole thing. Idk how to add it tho, so you'll get more as I respond).

 

It sounds like you've been really observant of your interactions with Crystal and you're doing your best to make sense of everything @welches_242, which is really commendable. It can be quite overwhelming to try to decipher someone's intentions, especially when the signals they're sending are mixed. Is that how you're feeling about this as well?

The fact that you've primarily interacted with Crystal in group settings and only had a couple of one-on-one conversations adds an extra layer of complexity for sure. Those moments where you're able to engage more directly with someone can sometimes reveal unexpected dynamics, like the instance with your school supplies. It's understandable that you're trying to interpret these interactions through different lenses to understand them better, I know it can be confusing at times. 

Also, your decision to wait before approaching Crystal about your feelings or concerns shows a lot of thoughtfulness. I think taking the time to gather more information and see how things unfold naturally is a sensible approach. Plus, the more you interact with her in your everyday encounters, the more you might learn about her and her intentions. I am wondering though, is there anything specific you're hoping to learn or understand better as you continue to interact with Crystal? And how are you feeling overall about the situation right now?

 

[ProffesorSparkles]

10 hours ago, welches_242 said:

I really appreciate the response! :)

The "Gf" being platonic or romantic could be one of three things:

(1) Romantic partner 

(2) Female friend 

(3) Complex family tree like calling a friend wife, child, daughter, son, cousin, nephew, granddaughter, sister, etc or multiple at once. 

It's thrown around so casually at my school that you can barely tell (including myself ;-;). People think some friends are dating because of that, even though they are purely platonic - lots of funny stories, lol. 

You also mentioned just going with the flow for now, which I am already doing, lol. The trick with mentioning the gf again is finding an opening in a conversation for that. I usually talk to her in group settings for the most part which I've noticed effects the conversation, so who I'm with makes the chances of an opening vary.

Np! :) 

ahhh that makes sense, I understand what you mean by the platonic friend. Yeah that happens in my school too, ive had a couple friends people think im siblings or dating them haha so i get what you mean.

Yeah only really talking to her in group settings would definetly make it more difficult :( I undertsand how that feels, im not super close with my crush, so i only get to really see him when hes around his friend group, and not very often one-on-one, like you. Do you have any classes with her? Maybe an opportunity might appear while your walking to class or something? Sorry this isn't the best advice haha, but I just saw that @Luie posted some great advice

[Luie]

11 minutes ago, ProffesorSparkles said:

Np! :) 

ahhh that makes sense, I understand what you mean by the platonic friend. Yeah that happens in my school too, ive had a couple friends people think im siblings or dating them haha so i get what you mean.

Yeah only really talking to her in group settings would definetly make it more difficult :( I undertsand how that feels, im not super close with my crush, so i only get to really see him when hes around his friend group, and not very often one-on-one, like you. Do you have any classes with her? Maybe an opportunity might appear while your walking to class or something? Sorry this isn't the best advice haha, but I just saw that @Luie posted some great advice

Don't sell yourself short @ProffesorSparkles, it's not only about advice, lived experiences that you're sharing hold a lot of value too and I really appreciate you doing so 

[welches_242]

9 hours ago, Luie said:

It sounds like you've been really observant of your interactions with Crystal and you're doing your best to make sense of everything @welches_242, which is really commendable. It can be quite overwhelming to try to decipher someone's intentions, especially when the signals they're sending are mixed. Is that how you're feeling about this as well?

The fact that you've primarily interacted with Crystal in group settings and only had a couple of one-on-one conversations adds an extra layer of complexity for sure. Those moments where you're able to engage more directly with someone can sometimes reveal unexpected dynamics, like the instance with your school supplies. It's understandable that you're trying to interpret these interactions through different lenses to understand them better, I know it can be confusing at times. 

Also, your decision to wait before approaching Crystal about your feelings or concerns shows a lot of thoughtfulness. I think taking the time to gather more information and see how things unfold naturally is a sensible approach. Plus, the more you interact with her in your everyday encounters, the more you might learn about her and her intentions. I am wondering though, is there anything specific you're hoping to learn or understand better as you continue to interact with Crystal? And how are you feeling overall about the situation right now?

 

Question 1: It is definitely a bit overwhelming due to those mixed signals - if that's what you mean.

Question 2: I just feel that I need something more obvious. I know a couple of my friends are very affectionate and forward people and don't mean anything of it. Some of my friends will do the exact same thing to me to an extremely confusing point and then say it was purely platonic. 

I'm not sure if I can find the right words to describe my feelings. Maybe exhilarated and nervous are some good descriptors. However, that's normal crush feelings. The situation itself, as I've said before is leaving me confused and a bit lost and maybe a bit exciting to see where this is going (I mean exciting in a way where this is a different experience I've had to previous crush[es]). 

 

9 hours ago, ProffesorSparkles said:

Np! :) 

ahhh that makes sense, I understand what you mean by the platonic friend. Yeah that happens in my school too, ive had a couple friends people think im siblings or dating them haha so i get what you mean.

Yeah only really talking to her in group settings would definetly make it more difficult :( I undertsand how that feels, im not super close with my crush, so i only get to really see him when hes around his friend group, and not very often one-on-one, like you. Do you have any classes with her? Maybe an opportunity might appear while your walking to class or something? Sorry this isn't the best advice haha, but I just saw that @Luie posted some great advice

 

The siblings thing is crazy tho ;-; People think I'm siblings with a quarter of the school purely based on my appearance or just on how I interact with people I barely know ;-;

As for interactions, I have one class with her. That class is like one big friend group so everyone talks for most of the period. That's where a lot of the interactions take place and everyone learns more about each other.

And do NOT sell yourself short for your advice. You are providing a simple yet good foundation on how to approach different scenarios. Not to mention you can clearly relate your own feelings as someone similar in age to the situation at hand. 

 

[Luie]

12 hours ago, welches_242 said:

Question 1: It is definitely a bit overwhelming due to those mixed signals - if that's what you mean.

Question 2: I just feel that I need something more obvious. I know a couple of my friends are very affectionate and forward people and don't mean anything of it. Some of my friends will do the exact same thing to me to an extremely confusing point and then say it was purely platonic. 

I'm not sure if I can find the right words to describe my feelings. Maybe exhilarated and nervous are some good descriptors. However, that's normal crush feelings. The situation itself, as I've said before is leaving me confused and a bit lost and maybe a bit exciting to see where this is going (I mean exciting in a way where this is a different experience I've had to previous crush[es]). 

 

I appreciate you sharing all of this @welches_242, it's clear you're really trying to understand your feelings and the situation with Crystal. Given the complexity of it all, I'm wondering have you noticed any specific behaviours or moments with Crystal that stand out as particularly confusing or significant? In my experience sometimes pinpointing those moments can help shed light on what you're feeling and what might be going on. Additionally, considering your past experiences with friends who are affectionate but platonic, do you feel like there are any patterns or similarities between those situations and your interactions with Crystal? 

Something that caught my attention was when you mentioned feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness about where things with Crystal might lead. Is there a part of you that's hoping for a certain outcome, or are you more focused on just enjoying the journey and seeing where it takes you?

 

[ProffesorSparkles]

On 5/12/2024 at 8:50 PM, welches_242 said:

The siblings thing is crazy tho ;-; People think I'm siblings with a quarter of the school purely based on my appearance or just on how I interact with people I barely know ;-;

As for interactions, I have one class with her. That class is like one big friend group so everyone talks for most of the period. That's where a lot of the interactions take place and everyone learns more about each other.

Yeah that makes sense. It's great that your good friends with the people in your class.

 

On 5/12/2024 at 8:50 PM, welches_242 said:

And do NOT sell yourself short for your advice. You are providing a simple yet good foundation on how to approach different scenarios. Not to mention you can clearly relate your own feelings as someone similar in age to the situation at hand

Aww that's so sweet of you to say! Thanks, im glad u found some stuff useful.

Sorry for the late reply, its been a bust few days and I didn't see the notification for this topic

[Luie]

On 5/13/2024 at 9:26 AM, Luie said:

I appreciate you sharing all of this @welches_242, it's clear you're really trying to understand your feelings and the situation with Crystal. Given the complexity of it all, I'm wondering have you noticed any specific behaviours or moments with Crystal that stand out as particularly confusing or significant? In my experience sometimes pinpointing those moments can help shed light on what you're feeling and what might be going on. Additionally, considering your past experiences with friends who are affectionate but platonic, do you feel like there are any patterns or similarities between those situations and your interactions with Crystal? 

Something that caught my attention was when you mentioned feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness about where things with Crystal might lead. Is there a part of you that's hoping for a certain outcome, or are you more focused on just enjoying the journey and seeing where it takes you?

Heyy @welches_242, Just checking in. How have you been?

[welches_242]

On 6/8/2024 at 9:59 AM, Luie said:

Heyy @welches_242, Just checking in. How have you been?

I'm good. Haven't been online for a while due to school and co-op. How are you?

[Luie]

10 hours ago, welches_242 said:

I'm good. Haven't been online for a while due to school and co-op. How are you?

I am good, thank you for asking. School and co op, sound like your plate is quite full atm. 

[welches_242]

On 7/20/2024 at 2:46 AM, Luie said:

I am good, thank you for asking. School and co op, sound like your plate is quite full atm. 

You could say that, lolll. 

[ProffesorSparkles]

On 7/23/2024 at 2:21 AM, welches_242 said:

You could say that, lolll. 

Hey welches, hope ur doing alr! How have you been?

[welches_242]

On 8/4/2024 at 3:41 AM, ProffesorSparkles said:

Hey welches, hope ur doing alr! How have you been?

I'm doing great! Listening to Epic the musical a healthy amount of times to say the least. Anyways, how are you?

[Hazard]

8 minutes ago, welches_242 said:

I'm doing great! Listening to Epic the musical a healthy amount of times to say the least. Anyways, how are you?

Haha, I got my younger cousins hooked to epic and I'm also listening to it....maybe more than a healthy amount of times. So good though...

[welches_242]

49 minutes ago, Hazard said:

Haha, I got my younger cousins hooked to epic and I'm also listening to it....maybe more than a healthy amount of times. So good though...

Epic is top tier tho. It's just a masterpiece. It's the best thing I've heard in years. I could keep going, but I won't. Lollll

[ProffesorSparkles]

7 hours ago, welches_242 said:

I'm doing great! Listening to Epic the musical a healthy amount of times to say the least. Anyways, how are you?

Never heard of epic! Instead I'm listening to too much Heather's and freaking out bc lin Manuel miranda announced another musical lmao. But yeah I'm good

[Hazard]

3 hours ago, ProffesorSparkles said:

Never heard of epic! Instead I'm listening to too much Heather's and freaking out bc lin Manuel miranda announced another musical lmao. But yeah I'm good

Well then, go listen to it >:0

[ProffesorSparkles]

1 hour ago, Hazard said:

Well then, go listen to it >:0

What's it about? :)

[welches_242]

On 8/7/2024 at 9:04 AM, ProffesorSparkles said:

What's it about? :)

Epic is about the story of how mythical Greek Hero, Odysseus, got home after the trojan war. Absolute bangers and this man just wants to get home to his family. That's his only goal and he will DO ANYTHING to accomplish that goal. It's being released in Sagas. The next saga - the wisdom saga (2nd saga of act 2) - is being released at midnight on August 30th. There are currently 6 of the 9 sagas out right now. Additionally, the singers and the creator of Epic are THE BEST. Hope that helps :)