I just figured out I’m bi, but I come from a traditional Christian family and I’m scared for the next step.

[Grace_the_confused]

Okay so this is my first time using this so forgive me if I’m using this wrong. I’m a minor, a young teen. And a girl, and my parent’s golden child, academically perfect, athleticISH, church volunteer, avid reader, good personality, and their “dream kid” since I never talk back or go against their beliefs. My sister(younger and only sibling), is a good kid, she’s super athletic, smart(but not the same- more of a I’ll do the bare minimum to pass and maybe a bit more to surpass others), attitude, rude, yet sweet but im always picking up her messes and taking blame and being the better person. So im the golden one, but I’m beginning to question if I’m truly straight or if I’m bi? And idk if my family wil support it. This so all so new to me and confusing. For background info, my mom is a firm believer of boy with girl, but is somewhat open minded, and my dad, I don’t even know. I’m really close with them and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with them. I have aunts and uncles who are very anti LGBTQ+. My cousins are more open minded- but I’m not sure to what extent. I’m at least thankful that I have my sister who supports it- though I haven’t told her I’ve just very carefully brought the topic up to see her opinions. My grandma(I call her lita) is extremely against anything not traditional and anything that goes against the Bible. I’m super close to her and I don’t want to lose her, I love her so much, and I’m one of her favorites because I take care of her best and the most. I’m creative and just like her when she was younger. But the scary part is, I know I like both genders. But I tend to love boys more, it’s not a perfect 50:50 ratio, it’s more of a 80:20, I like girls, but I don’t know if I could picture being with one. I’ve always acknowledged that girls a pretty and have a small crush on some, but I’ve only ever felt in love with guys. I just push the girl crushes so far down, I ignore them. But recently I went to Florida, and realized that I see all these guys that are (I’ll say it super attractive), but girls that catch my eye too. I’m confused and need advice on the next step, and if I’m actually bi…? I’m so confused and just need help. It’s all so new to me. I come from a super Christian traditional family so I’m scared how it will end. But I’m thankful I have a supportive best friend who’s helping me get through this(she’s lesbian and I ironically helped her with her feelings). She knows my situation and says she’ll help me. But I’m still scared. How do I come out without ruining all my family’s views of me, will I be a monster- a follower of satan(it’s sounds absurd but I’m scared of it will change who I am to them). I don’t want to lose them, and I’m scared to. I just need advice and help, I trust those place to help me. Thanks for reading the whole thing- it was a lot.

[-Marra-]

3 hours ago, Grace_the_confused said:

Okay so this is my first time using this so forgive me if I’m using this wrong. I’m a minor, a young teen. And a girl, and my parent’s golden child, academically perfect, athleticISH, church volunteer, avid reader, good personality, and their “dream kid” since I never talk back or go against their beliefs. My sister(younger and only sibling), is a good kid, she’s super athletic, smart(but not the same- more of a I’ll do the bare minimum to pass and maybe a bit more to surpass others), attitude, rude, yet sweet but im always picking up her messes and taking blame and being the better person. So im the golden one, but I’m beginning to question if I’m truly straight or if I’m bi? And idk if my family wil support it. This so all so new to me and confusing. For background info, my mom is a firm believer of boy with girl, but is somewhat open minded, and my dad, I don’t even know. I’m really close with them and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with them. I have aunts and uncles who are very anti LGBTQ+. My cousins are more open minded- but I’m not sure to what extent. I’m at least thankful that I have my sister who supports it- though I haven’t told her I’ve just very carefully brought the topic up to see her opinions. My grandma(I call her lita) is extremely against anything not traditional and anything that goes against the Bible. I’m super close to her and I don’t want to lose her, I love her so much, and I’m one of her favorites because I take care of her best and the most. I’m creative and just like her when she was younger. But the scary part is, I know I like both genders. But I tend to love boys more, it’s not a perfect 50:50 ratio, it’s more of a 80:20, I like girls, but I don’t know if I could picture being with one. I’ve always acknowledged that girls a pretty and have a small crush on some, but I’ve only ever felt in love with guys. I just push the girl crushes so far down, I ignore them. But recently I went to Florida, and realized that I see all these guys that are (I’ll say it super attractive), but girls that catch my eye too. I’m confused and need advice on the next step, and if I’m actually bi…? I’m so confused and just need help. It’s all so new to me. I come from a super Christian traditional family so I’m scared how it will end. But I’m thankful I have a supportive best friend who’s helping me get through this(she’s lesbian and I ironically helped her with her feelings). She knows my situation and says she’ll help me. But I’m still scared. How do I come out without ruining all my family’s views of me, will I be a monster- a follower of satan(it’s sounds absurd but I’m scared of it will change who I am to them). I don’t want to lose them, and I’m scared to. I just need advice and help, I trust those place to help me. Thanks for reading the whole thing- it was a lot.

Firstly welcome to Dlt. Now you will not be a monster and your won't be a follower or Satan if your Bi, But I will say from my own experience (I have a really Christian fam too) If you think you family will kick you out of the house of anything like that Don't tell them at all. Another thing is that if you do go and tell them make sure you have out side support (Like friends). It help and if something does go wrong you have some one to lean on. Something you can do to tell your parents is try hinting to them you like girls like you could say like "oh she's cute"  or "she's really pretty" and keep going from there. 

[Grace_the_confused]

Hey, thanks for the advice. On a whim of emotions I told them. To my suprise they were supportive and told me that they would help me figure it out. Now it’s just my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandma who may be anti- LGBTQ+. So…yeah. I’m gonna take it one step at a time and just not tell them yet. But tell them when I’m ready. Anyways thanks for the advice.

[Luie]

15 hours ago, Grace_the_confused said:

Okay so this is my first time using this so forgive me if I’m using this wrong. I’m a minor, a young teen. And a girl, and my parent’s golden child, academically perfect, athleticISH, church volunteer, avid reader, good personality, and their “dream kid” since I never talk back or go against their beliefs. My sister(younger and only sibling), is a good kid, she’s super athletic, smart(but not the same- more of a I’ll do the bare minimum to pass and maybe a bit more to surpass others), attitude, rude, yet sweet but im always picking up her messes and taking blame and being the better person. So im the golden one, but I’m beginning to question if I’m truly straight or if I’m bi? And idk if my family wil support it. This so all so new to me and confusing. For background info, my mom is a firm believer of boy with girl, but is somewhat open minded, and my dad, I don’t even know. I’m really close with them and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with them. I have aunts and uncles who are very anti LGBTQ+. My cousins are more open minded- but I’m not sure to what extent. I’m at least thankful that I have my sister who supports it- though I haven’t told her I’ve just very carefully brought the topic up to see her opinions. My grandma(I call her lita) is extremely against anything not traditional and anything that goes against the Bible. I’m super close to her and I don’t want to lose her, I love her so much, and I’m one of her favorites because I take care of her best and the most. I’m creative and just like her when she was younger. But the scary part is, I know I like both genders. But I tend to love boys more, it’s not a perfect 50:50 ratio, it’s more of a 80:20, I like girls, but I don’t know if I could picture being with one. I’ve always acknowledged that girls a pretty and have a small crush on some, but I’ve only ever felt in love with guys. I just push the girl crushes so far down, I ignore them. But recently I went to Florida, and realized that I see all these guys that are (I’ll say it super attractive), but girls that catch my eye too. I’m confused and need advice on the next step, and if I’m actually bi…? I’m so confused and just need help. It’s all so new to me. I come from a super Christian traditional family so I’m scared how it will end. But I’m thankful I have a supportive best friend who’s helping me get through this(she’s lesbian and I ironically helped her with her feelings). She knows my situation and says she’ll help me. But I’m still scared. How do I come out without ruining all my family’s views of me, will I be a monster- a follower of satan(it’s sounds absurd but I’m scared of it will change who I am to them). I don’t want to lose them, and I’m scared to. I just need advice and help, I trust those place to help me. Thanks for reading the whole thing- it was a lot.

Heyy @Grace_the_confused, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. 

 

First of all, it's great that you're reaching out for help and advice. It takes courage to acknowledge your feelings and start exploring your identity, especially when you come from a traditional family that may not be accepting of LGBTQ+ identities. It's important to remember that your identity is valid, and there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. Your feelings and attractions are a part of who you are, and you deserve to be accepted and loved for who you are.

Coming out can be a scary and difficult process, especially when you're not sure how your family will react. It's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being, so if you feel like coming out could put you in danger or harm you, it might be best to hold off until you have a more supportive environment. If you do decide to come out, it's important to do so in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you. You don't have to come out to everyone all at once - you can start with a trusted friend or family member who you think will be supportive, and take it from there (which I see you have done since you sent this message). It's also important to remember that people's reactions may not always be what you hope for. It's possible that some of your family members may not be accepting of your identity, and that can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Remember that it's not your fault, and it's not your responsibility to change their minds. You deserve love and acceptance, and if your family can't provide that, there are other communities and resources that can support you.

Speaking of resources, there are many LGBTQ+ organizations and support groups that can provide you with information, guidance, and a sense of community. It might be helpful to connect with some of these organizations to talk to other people who have gone through similar experiences and get advice from experts. Our DTL platform is one where you can speak with other members like @-Marra- and share your experiences. It's s safe and caring community. We also have a confidential support option if you'd like to speak one to one to any of our support mentors. 

The most important thing is to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You are not alone, and there are people and resources out there that can support you as you navigate your identity and come out to your family. I am glad that you shared this with us here. 

 

 

 

 

[-Marra-]

On 3/31/2023 at 11:58 PM, Grace_the_confused said:

Hey, thanks for the advice. On a whim of emotions I told them. To my suprise they were supportive and told me that they would help me figure it out. Now it’s just my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandma who may be anti- LGBTQ+. So…yeah. I’m gonna take it one step at a time and just not tell them yet. But tell them when I’m ready. Anyways thanks for the advice.

Hey, I am glad to hear it went good with telling you family and it's good they are going to help you out. With your other family good luck with telling them and hopefully they will help you too. Please make sure you update us if you have the time, I would love to know how it went if you tell your other family.

[joobusmcgoober]

Hey! This is my first post on here, but I'm in basically the same situation but as a guy. I'm sure my family wouldn't kick me out or hate me, I'm just kind of looking to figure this out by myself before I say anything. I found myself really attracted to men in the past year or so, my first real realization came from looking up male celebrities just to see if I could find... arousing pictures, and then began finding out that my sexual attraction towards men was very strong, even, I'd say, just as strong as my attraction towards women. In the social environment I'm currently in, though, I recently developed a sort of attraction to a guy at my Christian school. He's expressed the vibe in the past of being bi or even gay, but I don't think approaching him would be good for my school career, especially with the situation that happened at my school recently where a lesbian couple got found out (to be fair, they were doing stuff in the bathroom and it's a small school) and then expelled, one being a rather close friend of mine. I'm just looking for some general advice for my situation, since I'm feeling a strong urge to explore my sexuality but don't know exactly how I might be able to go about it. 

I noticed that the @Digital Mentors seem to be very helpful, and I could really use some help lol

Edited April 13 by joobusmcgoober

[Bisexual Soprano]

Oh me too bestie.  I'm in a similar situation and as soon as I can, I'm leaving.  I have people here who I really love but when it comes down to beliefs, I don't have faith in them on the subject of acceptance.  If you know they won't be accepting, you don't have to tell them.  I have no intention of doing so myself.

[Luie]

On 4/13/2023 at 11:44 PM, joobusmcgoober said:

Hey! This is my first post on here, but I'm in basically the same situation but as a guy. I'm sure my family wouldn't kick me out or hate me, I'm just kind of looking to figure this out by myself before I say anything. I found myself really attracted to men in the past year or so, my first real realization came from looking up male celebrities just to see if I could find... arousing pictures, and then began finding out that my sexual attraction towards men was very strong, even, I'd say, just as strong as my attraction towards women. In the social environment I'm currently in, though, I recently developed a sort of attraction to a guy at my Christian school. He's expressed the vibe in the past of being bi or even gay, but I don't think approaching him would be good for my school career, especially with the situation that happened at my school recently where a lesbian couple got found out (to be fair, they were doing stuff in the bathroom and it's a small school) and then expelled, one being a rather close friend of mine. I'm just looking for some general advice for my situation, since I'm feeling a strong urge to explore my sexuality but don't know exactly how I might be able to go about it. 

I noticed that the @Digital Mentors seem to be very helpful, and I could really use some help lol

Heyy @joobusmcgoober, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. Thanks for sharing what you've been going through. It makes complete sense to me that you want to figure out your sexuality before coming out to your family or anyone else. It's a personal journey, and it's important to take the time to understand and accept yourself before sharing it with others. It sounds like you have developed a strong attraction to both men and women, and that's completely normal. Sexuality exists on a spectrum, and there's no right or wrong way to experience it, so it's okay to feel what you're feeling and experiencing. 

As for your attraction to the guy at your Christian school, this was a bit of a concern to me because it's important to consider the potential consequences before acting on it, not that there is anything wrong with it at all, only because you mentioned that the school recently expelled a lesbian couple, so it's understandable that you might be hesitant to pursue a same-sex relationship at this time. It's also important to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe exploring your sexuality in your current environment, it may be best to wait until you are in a more accepting and supportive environment. One option could be to connect with the LGBTQ+ community outside of your school. This could include attending local events if that's a possibility. This platform is a LGBTQI+ friendly so feel free to be yourself and  to connect with other members who share similar experiences. You can just post about it as a forum topic if you'd like. And, know that you're not alone, here for you and this is a safe space to be yourself. How does all of this sound to you?

 

 

[Luie]

On 4/19/2023 at 5:19 AM, Bisexual Soprano said:

Oh me too bestie.  I'm in a similar situation and as soon as I can, I'm leaving.  I have people here who I really love but when it comes down to beliefs, I don't have faith in them on the subject of acceptance.  If you know they won't be accepting, you don't have to tell them.  I have no intention of doing so myself.

Heyy @Bisexual Soprano, I hear you. Wanna share a bit more about what's going on with me? Or do you prefer having this space to just vent with other members? Please do let me know so that I can support you in the best way possible . 

[Bisexual Soprano]

4 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @Bisexual Soprano, I hear you. Wanna share a bit more about what's going on with me? Or do you prefer having this space to just vent with other members? Please do let me know so that I can support you in the best way possible . 

I'd love to vent. 

My parents are pridephobic :/ and they always criticize homosexuality and transgender people whenever either subject is mentioned.  I don't think they know what that the rest of pride even exists.  I definitely don't want to come out to them, I want to leave but I can't yet :(

[Luie]

20 hours ago, Bisexual Soprano said:

I'd love to vent. 

My parents are pridephobic :/ and they always criticize homosexuality and transgender people whenever either subject is mentioned.  I don't think they know what that the rest of pride even exists.  I definitely don't want to come out to them, I want to leave but I can't yet :(

This is a safe space to vent, thank you for sharing with me. I'm truly sorry to hear that your parents have such negative views towards the LGBTQ+ community. It's important to know that your feelings and experiences are valid, and it's understandable that you don't feel comfortable coming out to them. It sounds to me that leaving home may not be an option for you right now, because your safety is a priority, I know this can be hurtful as you aren't able to be your full true self openly.

I wanted to check with you if there are any LGBTQ+ support groups in your city/town? This platform is LGBTQI+ friendly and is  safe and accepting space for you to connect with others who understand what you're going through.  And hey @Bisexual Soprano, I know this seems lonely but you don't have to face this alone. We are here for you through this difficult time. Take care of yourself, and know that there is a whole community of people who accept and support you for who you are! 

 

[Bisexual Soprano]

51 minutes ago, Luie said:

This is a safe space to vent, thank you for sharing with me. I'm truly sorry to hear that your parents have such negative views towards the LGBTQ+ community. It's important to know that your feelings and experiences are valid, and it's understandable that you don't feel comfortable coming out to them. It sounds to me that leaving home may not be an option for you right now, because your safety is a priority, I know this can be hurtful as you aren't able to be your full true self openly.

I wanted to check with you if there are any LGBTQ+ support groups in your city/town? This platform is LGBTQI+ friendly and is  safe and accepting space for you to connect with others who understand what you're going through.  And hey @Bisexual Soprano, I know this seems lonely but you don't have to face this alone. We are here for you through this difficult time. Take care of yourself, and know that there is a whole community of people who accept and support you for who you are! 

I live in a small town so I don't think there are any support groups.  I do have a supportive group of friends at school :D and they're awesome but that's about it.  I'm glad there's people here who accept me :)))

[Luie]

32 minutes ago, Bisexual Soprano said:

I live in a small town so I don't think there are any support groups.  I do have a supportive group of friends at school :D and they're awesome but that's about it.  I'm glad there's people here who accept me :)))

I am so glad to hear that you feel supported at school. And yes this community is here for you and so are the mentors whenever you need 

[Bisexual Soprano]

47 minutes ago, Luie said:

I am so glad to hear that you feel supported at school. And yes this community is here for you and so are the mentors whenever you need 

Thank you

[ShiMeiAi]

Hey :) I am in a similar situation. I want you to know that if they cant support you, theyre not worth it, okay? You got this, and youre gonna make it. Explore your sexuality and have fun with it, my dude. :)

[Bisexual Soprano]

5 minutes ago, ShiMeiAi said:

Hey :) I am in a similar situation. I want you to know that if they cant support you, theyre not worth it, okay? You got this, and youre gonna make it. Explore your sexuality and have fun with it, my dude. :)

Thanks :)

[Luie]

17 hours ago, ShiMeiAi said:

Hey :) I am in a similar situation. I want you to know that if they cant support you, theyre not worth it, okay? You got this, and youre gonna make it. Explore your sexuality and have fun with it, my dude. :)

Heyy @ShiMeiAi, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I see that you're new to our platform and I wanted to say a massive welcome! Super awesome having you join our community. You can start conversations like this or even join other topics on the forums option. We also offer one to one support if you'd prefer that, if you click on 'Confidential Support' in the top bar next to blogs, you can send a request and one of the support mentors will get back to you. 

Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing about what you're going through and how it's similar to @Bisexual Soprano situation. Would you like to speak more about it with me or on the community here?