Nothing really works. I'm almost done.

[NickF]

Hi. How are you?

I don't know why but I'm not happy.No matter what happens, I may smile and enjoy the moment but in the end I'm not satisfied with my life.

I think I'm ugly . I have never seen a person uglier than me. And I don't think I have any talents either. I have interests but not talent. I'm not good at any of my interested stuff. For example I like to read but still I'm not smart(aka - a geek). 

But anyway I don't project these problems I try to keep a positive attitude. But deep down I know its just a facade. 

Im hoping to find someone to talk here.

And appreciate if you took time to read this. Good day.

[Monsoon]

Hello @NickF

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so down on yourself at the moment. It can feel like such a challenge to pull ourselves out of feeling this way, but I know you can do it. Can I ask, how long have you been feeling like this for?

I might be being overly cautious here, but I'm concerned after what you said in the title about how you're 'almost done'. It kind of sounds like you're thinking of maybe ending things, so can I just check in and see how you're doing? We are here to help you and you are not alone. I hope to hear back from you soon. 

[NickF]

Well I've been feeling lost like for almost 6 years. And the way I described above is like the state I'm currently in. It kinda progressed over the time.

I changed alot. I can see that clearly. Like now I never go out. Im always at home. But like 4 or 5 years before I was not like this. Im not sure what changed. May be because these self conscious issues. But I don't feel like going out or interacting with people. Basically I'm just lazy now. Its like, "nothing's gonna work out so why bother" or "who cares" 

Anyway.. No Im not thinking about ending things. Well, I've thought about it, but I'm never doing that. And thanks for your concern. 

[Monsoon]

Hello @NickF

Thanks for getting back to me. How are you feeling today? I am glad to hear that you are not thinking of ending things, but just in case those thoughts come back again, here is some useful information:

 

• UK: The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a 24/7 service)
• USA: NSPL - 1-800-273-8255 (This is a 24/7 service)
• This link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org
• There's an app I can recommend called Stay Alive https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ - it has safety plans to keep you safe and loads of info.
• You can also call your doctor or go to any emergency department and ask for help. 

So, from what you've said, I hear that that you've been feeling this way for a while, and that it's kind of progressed over time. From my experience of supporting people who are feeling similarly to you, I often find that there is an experience, of a number of experiences, that brought on these feelings which tend to become stronger over time. I'm wondering, can you think of something that might have happened? Some examples may involve being bullied, or being in an unhealthy relationship. If you don't want to talk about this on the main forum, you can message me by clicking the 'Confidential Support' bar at the top of the webpage. 

I hope to hear back from you soon. Take care.