Talking to my ex-bully to reconcile the past

[Lennie]

1 minute ago, aties said:

It will take a huge toll on my mental health ( as if it isnt bad rn) if he doesnt respond to me. f he dares do that, i won't just "replying, chatting" and wait for his response. I don't feel comfortable talking about this to anyone i have a trust issue.

Self care... as i state all i know is getting to work crazily and thanks to that i am in the burnout state and have no energy to do anything, let alone refocus my energy to do something

Yes, this situation sounds really challenging. Is there anything you could do that might help to ease your sense of burnout and re-energise you? Clearly overworking yourself hasn't helped, are there any other options that you feel might be more relaxing/enjoyable and help to improve your sense of wellbeing? 

[aties]

26 minutes ago, Lennie said:

Yes, this situation sounds really challenging. Is there anything you could do that might help to ease your sense of burnout and re-energise you? Clearly overworking yourself hasn't helped, are there any other options that you feel might be more relaxing/enjoyable and help to improve your sense of wellbeing? 

here is an interesting  but also miserable timeline for me, i am preparing to apply to university. There isnt any gap for me to breathe and "relax". Honestly stucking in the past while also preparing for the future makes me feel so miserable

[Lennie]

12 hours ago, aties said:

here is an interesting  but also miserable timeline for me, i am preparing to apply to university. There isnt any gap for me to breathe and "relax". Honestly stucking in the past while also preparing for the future makes me feel so miserable

Yes, I can imagine this must be weighing heavy on your mind and distracting you from an important next step in your life. 

My belief is that the best way to process this and move forward is to 1) speak about this with someone who you trust and feel comfortable with, 2) work on developing an acceptance that you have done all that you can by expressing how to them how you felt and how their behaviour affected you, and 3) try to refocus your attention and look forward to other more positive aspects of your life.

However, I recognise that you don't feel ready or able to do that yet. So what might help you in the meantime? Are there any other options to explore which could help you feel better and more able to focus on things like applying for uni? 

[aties]

On 6/26/2024 at 2:17 PM, Lennie said:

Yes, I can imagine this must be weighing heavy on your mind and distracting you from an important next step in your life. 

My belief is that the best way to process this and move forward is to 1) speak about this with someone who you trust and feel comfortable with, 2) work on developing an acceptance that you have done all that you can by expressing how to them how you felt and how their behaviour affected you, and 3) try to refocus your attention and look forward to other more positive aspects of your life.

However, I recognise that you don't feel ready or able to do that yet. So what might help you in the meantime? Are there any other options to explore which could help you feel better and more able to focus on things like applying for uni? 

Hi @Lennie, i just messaged him again on messenger yesterday. I literally see him online, yet he hasnt responded yet and i am crazy rn

[Lennie]

4 hours ago, aties said:

Hi @Lennie, i just messaged him again on messenger yesterday. I literally see him online, yet he hasnt responded yet and i am crazy rn

Hi @aties - I can certainly understand your frustration if you can see he is online and hasn't responded yet. I do think it might be good to keep in mind that he might not be simply ignoring you; he might just feel unsure or unprepared for how to go about responding. If so, he could be just taking some time before he writes a reply.

I realise that still leaves you hanging in wait, but perhaps considering this perspective might help you to feel a little more patient. What do you think?