What are you thinking about right now

[Bebop and Bebe]

Ummm how i hate the world and i wanna die

[Monsoon]

44 minutes ago, Tears_of_pain said:

Ummm how i hate the world and i wanna die

Hey @Tears_of_pain

Thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like you're feeling quite emotional right now. I am glad you have told us and we want to help you work through this. I can see what you said about how you want to die. If you feel comfortable sharing with us, I'm wanting to know, do you feel safe at the moment? We care about your safety here and want to make sure you're okay. Just incase you need it, here is some safety information if you are in crisis: 

• The Samaritans: Call 116 123 which is a 24/7 phone service where you can speak to people who will help you if you’re struggling with your mental health
• If not in the UK, here is a list of worldwide crisis lines which you can call if you need to speak to someone if you’re struggling with your mental health: https://www.befrienders.org
• https://kidshelpphone.ca/urgent-help - This is for children who live in Canada. You can text, message them online, or call them on the number listed on this page (they are available 24/7)
• An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself when you’re struggling emotionally 
• In the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

I hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

 

[Equivalent Ways]

hmm, im thinking about how I feel displeased and grumpy rn -_- also, I am sorry that you wanna die, cuz that means you are in some sort of pain/hurt, and I don't wish for others to undergo extreme pain :(

[CoconutCultist]

My girlfriend breaking with me :(

[Equivalent Ways]

I am thinking about, nothing new, just my human skin sack and how the day is gonna go tbh.

sorry Frog, sending you hugs

[Aurora]

18 hours ago, CoconutCultist said:

My girlfriend breaking with me :(

I'm sorry to hear that. We're here for you if you need us!!

[R A I N]

i'm thinking about what wud happen if i lose this friend of mine - tbh i think i hv attachment issues

[Aurora]

16 hours ago, R A I N said:

i'm thinking about what wud happen if i lose this friend of mine - tbh i think i hv attachment issues

Thank you for sharing that with us. Is there a reason why you are worried that you might lose them? Also. do you mind me asking, why do you think you have attachment issues? 

[R A I N]

I don't know - i feel she may find me boring n that she prefers to be friends with someone else. She's the only person in my life who knows abt how bad my mental health is n so she's the only 1 i can talk to when things r rough. I feel like i might be becoming too dependent on her.

[Aurora]

17 hours ago, R A I N said:

I don't know - i feel she may find me boring n that she prefers to be friends with someone else. She's the only person in my life who knows abt how bad my mental health is n so she's the only 1 i can talk to when things r rough. I feel like i might be becoming too dependent on her.

I think it's really insightful of you to recognise that you might be becoming too dependent on her. I'm wondering, whether it might be helpful for you to try and make some other friends as well. That doesn't mean that you need to distance yourself from your friend, it might just help you to feel less dependent on her. What do you think? Is there anyone at school, who you think you might like to get to know a bit better? Or maybe there is a club you could join in your area so you can meet some new people. Do you think that might work? 

[R A I N]

5 hours ago, Aurora said:

I think it's really insightful of you to recognise that you might be becoming too dependent on her. I'm wondering, whether it might be helpful for you to try and make some other friends as well. That doesn't mean that you need to distance yourself from your friend, it might just help you to feel less dependent on her. What do you think? Is there anyone at school, who you think you might like to get to know a bit better? Or maybe there is a club you could join in your area so you can meet some new people. Do you think that might work? 

Uhm everyone at school already has their own friend group and i don't really go to clubs as I'm not really allowed out the house.

[Aurora]

19 hours ago, R A I N said:

Uhm everyone at school already has their own friend group and i don't really go to clubs as I'm not really allowed out the house.

Is there anyone in your school who seems nice, who you would like to become friends with? Maybe you could join their friendship group. I know it's not an easy thing to do and it might take some time but some friend groups can be open to others joining them, Also, can I ask if you have any clubs at school? Would your parents be happy for you to join a club at school? 

[R A I N]

10 hours ago, Aurora said:

Is there anyone in your school who seems nice, who you would like to become friends with? Maybe you could join their friendship group. I know it's not an easy thing to do and it might take some time but some friend groups can be open to others joining them, Also, can I ask if you have any clubs at school? Would your parents be happy for you to join a club at school? 

There are people who I'd like to be friends with but I can't just ditch my own friend group. I do have some clubs at school but most of them are after school and I can't do it after school. Nobody in my year group really goes to clubs anyway.

[Aurora]

On 6/28/2023 at 10:39 PM, R A I N said:

There are people who I'd like to be friends with but I can't just ditch my own friend group. I do have some clubs at school but most of them are after school and I can't do it after school. Nobody in my year group really goes to clubs anyway.

Hi @R A I N, I'm sorry that I'm only getting back to you now. I was away for a few days.

I get that. Is there maybe someone in your own friend group you could become better friends with? Do you mind me asking, how many friends you have in your friend group? And is there anyone (apart from your one friend who you feel you are too dependent on) who you might feel comfortable talking to about private things?  

[R A I N]

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @R A I N, I'm sorry that I'm only getting back to you now. I was away for a few days.

I get that. Is there maybe someone in your own friend group you could become better friends with? Do you mind me asking, how many friends you have in your friend group? And is there anyone (apart from your one friend who you feel you are too dependent on) who you might feel comfortable talking to about private things?  

That's okay. I have 5 friends in my friend group. We recently had a friend join us because it used to be the 4 of us and i honestly just felt like the fifth wheel - it felt like i was hanging around w 2 pairs of best friends. Even with another addition i still feel left out (but not as much as i used to) because they have a groupchat on snapchat and i dont even hv a phone let alone social media. They're always talking abt stuff on there. I always feel so left out - i'm always the "quiet one" in the group bc i hv nth to say, I cant relate w 'em. Not rlly. I dont rlly know who else to tell.

[Duckie]

13 minutes ago, R A I N said:

That's okay. I have 5 friends in my friend group. We recently had a friend join us because it used to be the 4 of us and i honestly just felt like the fifth wheel - it felt like i was hanging around w 2 pairs of best friends. Even with another addition i still feel left out (but not as much as i used to) because they have a groupchat on snapchat and i dont even hv a phone let alone social media. They're always talking abt stuff on there. I always feel so left out - i'm always the "quiet one" in the group bc i hv nth to say, I cant relate w 'em. Not rlly. I dont rlly know who else to tell.

Hi R A I N,

How did this new friend come to join your group? Are they nice? I am happy that it makes you feel a little bit less left out. Would you feel comfortable talking about the reasons you have been "the quiet one" and feel you have nothing to say? I reckon the restrictions in your household isn't helping, but they are with you because they like you for being you. Maybe you could open up to them, even if just a little bit, to see if you can feel more included in their group and they feel more included in your life? What do you think?

[R A I N]

 

This friend was more or less part of our friend group anyway because we'd always talk with her as her friend group was part of a different form. They're nice. I barely go out anywhere which means I most of the time have no idea what they’re talking about when they talk about different places they’ve been for example a restaurant – I don’t know. They get so shocked when I haven’t heard of a certain place which is supposed to be popular and they’re always like omg you live under a rock, like thanks for the reminder. They also have a group chat on snapchat and they do talk a lot based on their convos on there. Again, as usual, it makes me feel left out. I’m so sick of feeling like a nobody. An outcast. Someone who’s unwanted and has no value at all.

 

[Duckie]

3 hours ago, R A I N said:

This friend was more or less part of our friend group anyway because we'd always talk with her as her friend group was part of a different form. They're nice. I barely go out anywhere which means I most of the time have no idea what they’re talking about when they talk about different places they’ve been for example a restaurant – I don’t know. They get so shocked when I haven’t heard of a certain place which is supposed to be popular and they’re always like omg you live under a rock, like thanks for the reminder. They also have a group chat on snapchat and they do talk a lot based on their convos on there. Again, as usual, it makes me feel left out. I’m so sick of feeling like a nobody. An outcast. Someone who’s unwanted and has no value at all.

Hi R A I N,

It really sounds like they don't understand that you haven't been to these places because that's how strict things are at home. Would you be able to share any of this with your friends? They might be able to support you and help find ways of getting you out of the house more often. You mentioned that your mum sometimes drives you to a friend's house, so maybe she would drive you to one of theirs?

[R A I N]

13 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi R A I N,

It really sounds like they don't understand that you haven't been to these places because that's how strict things are at home. Would you be able to share any of this with your friends? They might be able to support you and help find ways of getting you out of the house more often. You mentioned that your mum sometimes drives you to a friend's house, so maybe she would drive you to one of theirs?

My friends already know I'm barely allowed out the house which is why sometimes, they don't even bother inviting me to certain places. My mum has never driven me to a friend's house.

[Duckie]

Just now, R A I N said:

My friends already know I'm barely allowed out the house which is why sometimes, they don't even bother inviting me to certain places. My mum has never driven me to a friend's house.

Hi R A I N, really sorry to hear that. Maybe they are trying to protect you in a way by not being in your face about meeting up. I thought you said your mum would take you shopping or to a friend's house on very rare occassions. Sorry for misunderstanding this. How are you communicating with them at the moment? I know you don't have a phone, but do you have a laptop or tablet?

[R A I N]

7 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Hi R A I N, really sorry to hear that. Maybe they are trying to protect you in a way by not being in your face about meeting up. I thought you said your mum would take you shopping or to a friend's house on very rare occassions. Sorry for misunderstanding this. How are you communicating with them at the moment? I know you don't have a phone, but do you have a laptop or tablet?

No, I just gave an example because she MIGHT let me go to someone's house - but she hasn't actually done so before. Like even if I were to ask her, it would drain a lot of my energy just to be allowed to go - she thinks I have to earn everything. I only see my friends face to face and there's only this one friend (whom I feel quite dependent on) who I can contact via my laptop. I don't feel keen on telling my friend group that I can't text them anymore because my mum won't let me - rather, I made up an excuse saying there's something wrong with my mum's phone.

[Duckie]

Hi R A I N,

That sounds really tough. Would you feel comfortable walking through what would happen if you were to ask to go to a friend's house? Only if you're comfortable. 

Also, what does "earn" mean to her? Is it stuff like doing chores around the house or is it more like sharing personal things? I am wondering if you are ever able to earn this priviledge, because at the moment it sounds like a lot of punishment rather than encouragement. What do you think?

[R A I N]

25 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Hi R A I N,

That sounds really tough. Would you feel comfortable walking through what would happen if you were to ask to go to a friend's house? Only if you're comfortable. 

Also, what does "earn" mean to her? Is it stuff like doing chores around the house or is it more like sharing personal things? I am wondering if you are ever able to earn this priviledge, because at the moment it sounds like a lot of punishment rather than encouragement. What do you think?

First of all she'd ask why then she'll say there's no need and then i'll have to pester her for what seems like forever and then she'll say I've done nothing to deserve it. She thinks I'm always such a bad person. 

[Duckie]

14 minutes ago, R A I N said:

First of all she'd ask why then she'll say there's no need and then i'll have to pester her for what seems like forever and then she'll say I've done nothing to deserve it. She thinks I'm always such a bad person. 

Sounds like she is dead set on saying no regardless. She must go out to see people herself sometimes, so I wonder what makes her think you and your siblings don't need a bit of that too. What exactly does she want you to do to deserve that, and will she change her mind if you do? Is it worth asking her this?

[R A I N]

1 hour ago, Duckie said:

Sounds like she is dead set on saying no regardless. She must go out to see people herself sometimes, so I wonder what makes her think you and your siblings don't need a bit of that too. What exactly does she want you to do to deserve that, and will she change her mind if you do? Is it worth asking her this?

She barely goes out to see people - only occasionally. Though, it's something out of her control, I guess if she had more time, she'd spend it by hanging out with people like her sisters. I don't know how to change her mind, she's pretty firm in her responses when I ask if I can go out and stuff - when she says no, it's a no. She's a bit stubborn sometimes.