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Suicide. . .But I'm okayish now!


Hawthorne11    

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Suicide

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I have been seriously thinking about commiting suicide. I am talking to a counselor but I just really need to know why it's wrong. Like no one will say why it's wrong, they just say it is. I hate not understanding things and this is one thing I don't get. Why?

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, so I am super late to this posts, but I have an answer to your question.. it is because we want our own selfish wants. If I understand correctly, you want to know why people don’t want you to do this or think that it is wrong, ye? Firstly I don’t think it is ‘wrong’ at all! Cuz I can relate 🫠 Im not sure I can speak for other ppl on their wants and such but I know that sadly, you would become another statistic. I want you to live so I can feel better about myself, of course I don’t want to chain a human to a life of miserly for my own pleasure, and I can’t decide your life or death thats ridiculous! So even though I don’t know you, I want to see if there is another way that I can help so that I feel better(and hopefully you do too<3) and that can be hard to admit sometimes🤷

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1 hour ago, AceOfSpades said:

Oh thank you so much! 

Oh hello! Good to see you are still alive⭐! I am super glad if anything i said could have helped. Feel free to ask any more questions, cuz i have been there❤️

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Haha yes I am alive and moderately glad I am! Trying very hard not to go back to that place. 

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The way I understand it is that most people who are suicidal don’t actually want to die, they just don’t want to live. 
I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but just hear me out. Most people I’ve come across who struggle with these feelings (including myself), 9 times out of 10 don’t want to be dead, they just don’t want to have to deal with the baggage they carry, the bruises they get at home, the intrusive thoughts telling them that they’ll never be good enough, or the parents and peers telling them they have to be better than good enough. They don’t want to kill themselves, they want an escape and it seems like there’s no other way to have it other than death. This is NOT true. It is okay to ask for help.

The other time though when this isn’t true is typically when someone believes that they deserve to die as a punishment. This is wrong because using that logic you hurt people by dying so either way you’re in the wrong. (Again speaking from experience in my own miserable existence). 

I hope this helped.

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8 hours ago, AceOfSpades said:

Haha yes I am alive and moderately glad I am! Trying very hard not to go back to that place. 

Hey @AceOfSpades

We just want to check in and see how you are feeling at the moment? We know about the struggles from the past and can see what you've said about trying very hard to not get back to that place, and we are wondering, are you feeling safe at the moment? Just incase you need it, here is some safety information if you are in crisis: 

 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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8 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Relatable😐🙂

Hey there,

I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling? Would you like any support from us? If you do and would rather speak confidentially, please click 'Confidential Support' at the top of the page. 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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  • Digital Mentor
10 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

The way I understand it is that most people who are suicidal don’t actually want to die, they just don’t want to live. 
I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but just hear me out. Most people I’ve come across who struggle with these feelings (including myself), 9 times out of 10 don’t want to be dead, they just don’t want to have to deal with the baggage they carry, the bruises they get at home, the intrusive thoughts telling them that they’ll never be good enough, or the parents and peers telling them they have to be better than good enough. They don’t want to kill themselves, they want an escape and it seems like there’s no other way to have it other than death. This is NOT true. It is okay to ask for help.

The other time though when this isn’t true is typically when someone believes that they deserve to die as a punishment. This is wrong because using that logic you hurt people by dying so either way you’re in the wrong. (Again speaking from experience in my own miserable existence). 

I hope this helped.

Heyy @TinyDinos, Thank you for sharing your lived experiences with everyone on the community and on this post. I think it's insightful and gives me a better understanding of your inner world. I want to check and see how you are currently and if you need any extra one to one support from our end? 

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6 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling? Would you like any support from us? If you do and would rather speak confidentially, please click 'Confidential Support' at the top of the page. 

Hi, thanks for the check-in. Right now I feel safe, a little sad(nothing new), and proud. It is really nice to have mentors here and I think I am doing ok right now! 

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4 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Hi, thanks for the check-in. Right now I feel safe, a little sad(nothing new), and proud. It is really nice to have mentors here and I think I am doing ok right now! 

Thank you for letting us know @Equivalent Ways, we are here for you so please do reach out either one to one on confidential support or on community. 

I Love You Hug GIF

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1 minute ago, Luie said:

Thank you for letting us know @Equivalent Ways, we are here for you so please do reach out either one to one on confidential support or on community. 

I Love You Hug GIF

Thank you <3

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1 hour ago, Luie said:

Heyy @TinyDinos, Thank you for sharing your lived experiences with everyone on the community and on this post. I think it's insightful and gives me a better understanding of your inner world. I want to check and see how you are currently and if you need any extra one to one support from our end? 

I’m doing alright for now. Been a rough couple weeks but I’m gonna shower and wear clothes I like today and get some fresh air. Try to trick my brain into being happy y’know?

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18 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

The way I understand it is that most people who are suicidal don’t actually want to die, they just don’t want to live. 
I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but just hear me out. Most people I’ve come across who struggle with these feelings (including myself), 9 times out of 10 don’t want to be dead, they just don’t want to have to deal with the baggage they carry, the bruises they get at home, the intrusive thoughts telling them that they’ll never be good enough, or the parents and peers telling them they have to be better than good enough. They don’t want to kill themselves, they want an escape and it seems like there’s no other way to have it other than death. This is NOT true. It is okay to ask for help.

The other time though when this isn’t true is typically when someone believes that they deserve to die as a punishment. This is wrong because using that logic you hurt people by dying so either way you’re in the wrong. (Again speaking from experience in my own miserable existence). 

I hope this helped.

That is so absolutely right. I don't want to die, I do want to keep living, I just am so sick of the pain. @Monsoon I am definitely using one of those websites thank you

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Yeah, humans dont naturally want to die, I think we just don't want to feel so burnt with pain. But then the question comes as, how do we deal with all of it? Scared Fire GIF by Juan Billy

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7 hours ago, AceOfSpades said:

That is so absolutely right. I don't want to die, I do want to keep living, I just am so sick of the pain. @Monsoon I am definitely using one of those websites thank you

Hey,

It's great that you're using one of the websites. How is that going? I just want to check, are you safe at the moment? If not, it's completely okay to share that, and the more we know, the more we can help you. If you are in crisis, I'm wondering, is there someone you can tell offline that will be able to help you quickly?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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23 hours ago, TinyDinos said:

I’m doing alright for now. Been a rough couple weeks but I’m gonna shower and wear clothes I like today and get some fresh air. Try to trick my brain into being happy y’know?

I hear you. Some days are harder than the rest. How are you doing now?

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16 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

It's great that you're using one of the websites. How is that going? I just want to check, are you safe at the moment? If not, it's completely okay to share that, and the more we know, the more we can help you. If you are in crisis, I'm wondering, is there someone you can tell offline that will be able to help you quickly?

I haven't actually tried one yet, haven't had time. I am kinda not doing great, but I do have help right now. 

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20 minutes ago, AceOfSpades said:

I haven't actually tried one yet, haven't had time. I am kinda not doing great, but I do have help right now. 

It sucks when we are not feeling great but I'm glad you have help❤️

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8 hours ago, AceOfSpades said:

I haven't actually tried one yet, haven't had time. I am kinda not doing great, but I do have help right now. 

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear you have help right now and that must be pretty comforting for you. I'm wondering, is there anything you feel like we could do here at Ditch to help you during this difficult time? Also, do you still have the safety plan you filled out? That might come in pretty handy at the moment. Take care and speak soon. 

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I don't really think so? I do still have the safety plan, and I have been using it.

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1 hour ago, AceOfSpades said:

I don't really think so? I do still have the safety plan, and I have been using it.

Hey there,

That's fine. If you do think there is anything we can do, you know how to contact us. It's good that you still have your safety plan; keep that on your phone if you aren't already, and remember, if you are in crisis and need immediate help, emergency services will definitely be able to help you, like the police and ambulance service. 

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