Is this the worst that can happen to me at this age ? And was it actually my mistake and did I stir up this drama ?

[Cal_The_Oyster]

7 hours ago, Tangled said:

Good luck for your future and sending you lots of love from this side too

Thanks

You too! Xxx

[Tangled]

I have got something to tell you... this morning I found a pigeon in the drain..my family had already seen it. They said it was dead but I noticed some movement...I asked my brother to carry it and prepared some turmeric paste we traditionally use here for healing(I'm from the hills). I placed it in a cardboard carton and gave some corns to eat and water in a small bowl. To my surprise it began moving by the afternoon. Me and my brother made sure that it was safe from street dogs snd cats so we sat there and kept an eye on it. Entire day it kept trying to come out of the carton ...maybe it was small for him but we couldn't help as it was necessary for him to rest. By the evening he got so better. It was full of life. But it still couldn't fly out of the carton . I was tried so I moved inside and so did my brother. Just at 9 PM I realized that we didn't move the pigeon inside the house and it was not safe in the dark outside. I immediately rushed out but I couldn't find my carton or the pigeon. I was just about to cry . Mumma told me that my father has given it to our neighbor to take care of it. Now I'm really missing him. I'm feeling really irresponsible. And I didn't even had the dinner since I'm feeling heavy in my heart :(( why are things always so bad in my case...I feel pathetic now

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Tangled said:

About my home? It's much better....or maybe I've adjusted a little bit...my dad still says he's a loyal person everyone has shifted to normal days...except for me. The drama is on hold as my youngest brother has been tested covid positive  :(  I'll be leaving in less than 10 days...(I'm not allowed to carry electronic devices)...see you all after a year now...I'm happy and sad at the same time...I found you all....you all are so wonderful and super nice but we didn't get much time to connect....hope I would have found you all a little bit early... 

So about you...how are things at your home? And what about your future ? Do you have any goals? Like what do you want to become when you grow taller ? Well I guess we belong to different countries! Right?....so our future plans might be different....here in my country academics are everything and children are pressurized right from  the kindergarten to be a top performer ...how are things in your state? 

Hey there,

I'm just wondering, where is it you're going to? Also, I'm sorry to hear that your dad gave the pigeon to your neighbour to look after. I'm wondering, are you able to go and pay him a visit at all? Also, can I ask, is this the first time you've experienced loss through death?

[Tangled]

21 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm just wondering, where is it you're going to? Also, I'm sorry to hear that your dad gave the pigeon to your neighbour to look after. I'm wondering, are you able to go and pay him a visit at all? Also, can I ask, is this the first time you've experienced loss through death?

I told you nah! We have a free residential study program where selected students stay together and prepare for JEE. It's 6hrs away from my home. And about the pigeon,  I think he is happy with my neighbor. He's a nice man and takes care of all the street animals out here. He has a general store and he feeds buns and eggs to street animals daily. So we have an entire gang of street dogs they are cute...whenever I buy a biscuit they all chase me until I give them something to eat...I usually steal milk and stale chappatis from the kitchen to feed them but they seem to love it...it's like a treat for them. And yes I can definitely visit him  but i wanted to keep it in my room with me. About a loss through death...the only one that pained me is of my best friend who died of thyroid and I couldn't contact her in her last time...she was a wonderful person. I had to move here and when I was trying to fit in here she used to call me 100 times a day...I never realized how lonely she was when she stuck on the phone with me. Later as I got busy with my studies here she died silently......after a year as I stopped receiving her messages and calls ..I texted her...she didn't reply for weeks...later her mother said that she was no more....I still feel her in my dreams and when I'm alone or lonely like she's there to console me. I still have a regret that I lost touch with her in her last days....and it's a huge regret....a guilt to be honest  :(

Edited August 21, 2022 by Tangled

[Tangled]

And yes you are back !! Where were you ? Last few days were chill and things are getting less tangled now  

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Tangled said:

I told you nah! We have a free residential study program where selected students stay together and prepare for JEE. It's 6hrs away from my home. And about the pigeon,  I think he is happy with my neighbor. He's a nice man and takes care of all the street animals out here. He has a general store and he feeds buns and eggs to street animals daily. So we have an entire gang of street dogs they are cute...whenever I buy a biscuit they all chase me until I give them something to eat...I usually steal milk and stale chappatis from the kitchen to feed them but they seem to love it...it's like a treat for them. And yes I can definitely visit him  but i wanted to keep it in my room with me. About a loss through death...the only one that pained me is of my best friend who died of thyroid and I couldn't contact her in her last time...she was a wonderful person. I had to move here and when I was trying to fit in here she used to call me 100 times a day...I never realized how lonely she was when she stuck on the phone with me. Later as I got busy with my studies here she died silently......after a year as I stopped receiving her messages and calls ..I texted her...she didn't reply for weeks...later her mother said that she was no more....I still feel her in my dreams and when I'm alone or lonely like she's there to console me. I still have a regret that I lost touch with her in her last days....and it's a huge regret....a guilt to be honest  :(

Hey,

The residential study programme sounds cool. How are you feeling about going? 

Also, I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It's completely normal to feel guilt when someone close to us passes, and we are usually left thinking 'What if' and wondering if we could have done more. If you could have one last conversation with her to make things better, what would you say to her? 

[Tangled]

I always knew about her illness. So I would have consoled her...or maybe would have just gone to see her. And asked If there was something she wanted to be done after her... i would have dedicated my entire life for her single goal....but it's of no use now...hope she is happy wherever she is. 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

20 minutes ago, Tangled said:

I always knew about her illness. So I would have consoled her...or maybe would have just gone to see her. And asked If there was something she wanted to be done after her... i would have dedicated my entire life for her single goal....but it's of no use now...hope she is happy wherever she is. 

I'm sure shes in the best place imaginable.

Someone once told me that as long as you remember someone after they've passed,they'll always be there.

The fact that you feel her around you proves that she never truly left *you* shes still there in your heart and she always will be.

[Tangled]

20 minutes ago, Thisboiistrans said:

I'm sure shes in the best place imaginable.

Someone once told me that as long as you remember someone after they've passed,they'll always be there.

The fact that you feel her around you proves that she never truly left *you* shes still there in your heart and she always will be.

She is with me :)  ❤ 

Edited August 22, 2022 by Tangled

[Monsoon]

I'm glad to hear she is still with you and I can imagine you take some comfort in that :)

Is there anything else you'd like support with for now, or are you okay?

[Tangled]

I'm okay. I keep myself busy with productive things so i usually don't get time to look upon other issues. But wait ...I  actually need to tell you something....there's a boy in my class and he seems very straight forward with everything. Like he has no filters. Few days back he ended up telling me that I'm boring and too much emotion driven..also that I live up in my own world and has no sense of reality.....and I thought we were friends :(  That was harsh. It might be true as I believe... I sometimes actually behave like that. But that's still hurtful. Should I continue being friends with him or it's better if I stay away from him? Sometimes it's good to know your flaws as working upon them leads you to a better version of yours ... but do I really need to change that about me.  Is there anything wrong with being the way I am or is it better to be practical than to be on the clouds. And one more thing he also told me that I was still a kid :| Do you think I'm actually that way ? 

[Tangled]

And yes one more thing ....you forgot to change your description /motto it still says "Currently away until Friday 19th August".The old one was better

[Monsoon]

8 hours ago, Tangled said:

I'm okay. I keep myself busy with productive things so i usually don't get time to look upon other issues. But wait ...I  actually need to tell you something....there's a boy in my class and he seems very straight forward with everything. Like he has no filters. Few days back he ended up telling me that I'm boring and too much emotion driven..also that I live up in my own world and has no sense of reality.....and I thought we were friends :(  That was harsh. It might be true as I believe... I sometimes actually behave like that. But that's still hurtful. Should I continue being friends with him or it's better if I stay away from him? Sometimes it's good to know your flaws as working upon them leads you to a better version of yours ... but do I really need to change that about me.  Is there anything wrong with being the way I am or is it better to be practical than to be on the clouds. And one more thing he also told me that I was still a kid :| Do you think I'm actually that way ? 

Hey,

Thanks for the reminder - motto changed! :)

Also, I'm sorry to hear that he hurt your feelings. My perspective is that although it's helpful to know when you've done something wrong, you have to be careful about what you share as it may not always be the best thing, so it might be that if you want to stay friends with him that you help him to know which pieces of information you would find helpful to know, and which ones not so much. What do you think?

[Tangled]

8 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Thanks for the reminder - motto changed! :)

Also, I'm sorry to hear that he hurt your feelings. My perspective is that although it's helpful to know when you've done something wrong, you have to be careful about what you share as it may not always be the best thing, so it might be that if you want to stay friends with him that you help him to know which pieces of information you would find helpful to know, and which ones not so much. What do you think?

Yes I feel I should make some distance as not everyone cares for us. And he is not someone important to worry. Friends are supposed to make us feel better about ourselves . Do you think I should befriend like minded people ? As he has a"i don't care " kinda attitude and I'm not that way...I care for everyone  :)

[Cal_The_Oyster]

5 minutes ago, Tangled said:

befriend like minded people

Yes this would be a good idea

[Tangled]

Just now, Thisboiistrans said:

Yes this would be a good idea

Yes it's good to be with the people who make you feel appreciated and respect your choices 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

4 hours ago, Tangled said:

Yes it's good to be with the people who make you feel appreciated and respect your choices 

Exactly! Why hang around people that bring you down?

[Monsoon]

23 hours ago, Tangled said:

Yes I feel I should make some distance as not everyone cares for us. And he is not someone important to worry. Friends are supposed to make us feel better about ourselves . Do you think I should befriend like minded people ? As he has a"i don't care " kinda attitude and I'm not that way...I care for everyone  :)

Hey,

That is so true. Our friends should support and uplift us :)

I think it's definitely helpful to befriend likeminded people, but it's also good to expose yourself to different ideas and ways of thinking as well. What do you think? This isn't to say that you should be friends with people who make you feel bad, but rather have different opinions if you know what I mean?

[Tangled]

53 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

That is so true. Our friends should support and uplift us :)

I think it's definitely helpful to befriend likeminded people, but it's also good to expose yourself to different ideas and ways of thinking as well. What do you think? This isn't to say that you should be friends with people who make you feel bad, but rather have different opinions if you know what I mean?

Yes, I understand your point and that's the only reason I bear with his nonsense.  He doesn't do it on purpose instead he is that way only. I mean he does this to everyone . If you let him know that something was hurtful from his side he instantly apologizes. He has clarity in his thoughts. He gives great practical advices and I get to hear a different opinion. He doesn't agree easily but questions till you present good level of evidence . That's different from my other friends as they are very nice and say a yes to everything I do. So, sometimes he turns annoying else I'm ok.

[Cal_The_Oyster]

Have you tried telling him how you feel?

[Tangled]

1 hour ago, Thisboiistrans said:

Have you tried telling him how you feel?

A hundred times !! And everytime he's like "I know I'm a bit different..I don't do it on purpose..I'm just this way" and blah blah... he's a single specimen of his type I guess...

[Cal_The_Oyster]

4 hours ago, Tangled said:

A hundred times !! And everytime he's like "I know I'm a bit different..I don't do it on purpose..I'm just this way" and blah blah... he's a single specimen of his type I guess...

That must suck

[Cal_The_Oyster]

That must hurt your feelings a bit

[Tangled]

Yes, sometimes but trust me he's not that important person.  Remember I earlier told you that I was a loner !!?? and that's not because I don't have people around me...it's just that I quickly cutoff the toxic people from my life. I have some bad things in my life that I can never cut out..they'll stay with me till I'm alive and that's completely fine as life is this way only....we just have to compromise at some places. But it's not the same with friends...i choose them very wisely...I'm always this ambivert who takes the charge of making others comfortable. I am friendly ....but not friends with all.... so cutting him out of my life won't be that big of an issue....I have always been this way :( ....I have to be careful with whom I keep my company as I'm not always in the best mood 

[Cal_The_Oyster]

Makes sense