TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 16 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said: a poem Yeah itβs a work in progress MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 (edited) Really low mood rn dont wanna be here Edited May 4, 2023 by Sad Sprout 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 5 minutes ago, Penguin said: 8 minutes ago, Sad Sprout said: Really low mood rn dont wanna be here ? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Sad Sprout said: Really low mood rn dont wanna be here rip, but like, you are wanted here anything that would cheer you up? Edited May 4, 2023 by Equivalent Ways or do you just need to feel the feels? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 1 minute ago, Equivalent Ways said: rip, but like, you are wanted here anything that would cheer you up? I donβt know MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 I just kinda wanna poof out of existence. No plans to though unfortunately. Iβm babysitting 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 3 minutes ago, Sad Sprout said: I just kinda wanna poof out of existence. No plans to though unfortunately. Iβm babysitting nah yoooo! I need to see u first! lol, but like before you go, before you do, don't~XD MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 6 minutes ago, Sad Sprout said: I just kinda wanna poof out of existence. No plans to though unfortunately. Iβm babysitting oh im also babysitting my lil bro rn, he is sick :( MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 2 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said: oh im also babysitting my lil bro rn, he is sick :( Aw, hope he gets betterΒ MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 4 minutes ago, Sad Sprout said: Aw, hope he gets betterΒ me too my ma is also feelin kinda under but i know they are good healers takin it easy today MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said: me too my ma is also feelin kinda under but i know they are good healers takin it easy today Iβm hustling so I can finish my work early so hopefully Iβm not as stressed out. I also have a class Iβm taking over the summer so I can finish early. Edited May 4, 2023 by Sad Sprout MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 4 hours ago, Sad Sprout said: Iβm hustling so I can finish my work early so hopefully Iβm not as stressed out. I also have a class Iβm taking over the summer so I can finish early. ah, still planning to finish early? I am taking a sociology class over the summer. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 5 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said: ah, still planning to finish early? I am taking a sociology class over the summer. Yes. Iβm taking history 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted May 5, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted May 5, 2023 18 hours ago, Sad Sprout said: Really low mood rn dont wanna be here I'm sorry to hear you're feeling really low at the moment. I've seen your other post as well and have replied there. We're here for you 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megs- Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 I donβt feel safe.. but it is what it is MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted July 28, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted July 28, 2023 15 hours ago, Megs- said: I donβt feel safe.. but it is what it is I'm sorry to hear that. We have checked in with you on confidential support MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megs- Posted July 28, 2023 Share Posted July 28, 2023 1 hour ago, Aurora said: I'm sorry to hear that. We have checked in with you on confidential support Thank youΒ MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lee pole Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 tbh i am really in a bad plac right now and no matter what i do thing is changing MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted September 23, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted September 23, 2023 16 hours ago, lee pole said: tbh i am really in a bad plac right now and no matter what i do thing is changing Heyy @lee pole, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I am sorry to hear that you're in a bad place. I have messaged you on confidential support. Here for you.Β MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted October 11, 2023 Share Posted October 11, 2023 (edited) This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. (Warning, this is a *really* long post) I donβt even know what to write here to describe this. I just hate myself so much it hurts. Iβm a failure and thereβs nobody whoβs gonna help me. Iβm better off gone and everyone else would be better that way too. Iβm such a f***ing burden I hate it. Iβm stupid and idiotic and every word that could be used to say that. My mom asked me to do something simple and I failed. I crumbled because Iβm a failure and Iβm stupid and Iβm so f***ing immature I canβt do anything. I wonβt survive by myself I know it. Iβm supposed to be grown up im supposed to be better and I canβt even do normal. All my mom asked for me to do was for me to use the f***ing vacuum. Iβve never used this vacuum before and asked how to use it and both my mom and stepdad reply sarcastically βjust plug it in and turn it onβ. I know that. I ask what to do because i donβt know how to use this vacuum, and I donβt want to break it, and I donβt want to do a bad job at cleaning what my mom asked me to clean. After a while they finally give me some instructions, and I follow it to the best of my ability and I get shouted at for doing it wrong. I ask for help and they get annoyed and tell me to try it again, and I do and have the same problem I did the first time. My stepdad gets so frustrated that he just gets up and vacuums the edges of the carpet himself. I vacuum the middle, and my mom says βoh look, you did it! Good job!β Enunciating her words in a way that sounds insincere. I just say thank you and go to put the stupid vacuum away and she tells me to use it on the hardwood floor. I say that I was just gonna sweep because itβs easier and she gives me crap about not wanting to learn, and goes in on me about how I buckled under the pressure of having to learn how to use a new vacuum and how she wants me to use the vacuum on the hardwood and for me not to use the broom. I started crying unintentionally (I hate crying in front of her because she always makes me feel bad about crying) and I hated every second of it. I told her I buckled because I didnβt want to do it wrong and she said I was overthinking it and was raising her voice at me the whole time she was speaking to me there. So I take the wretched vacuum and ask her if thereβs something I have to change to use it on the wood, and she says it doesnβt matter. I try it as is (on the setting for the carpet) and my stepdad says to turn of the brush roll. I turn it off and try again and my mom stops me asking whatβs wrong with the way Iβm doing it now, and I look at where I was vacuuming and see thereβs still some confetti or something from our arts and crafts box and I say that the vacuum wasnβt picking up all of the dirt on the floor and she gets upset asking why I didnβt stop and fix the problem and said I wasnβt putting in any effort to doing it right, and I said that it was because I was just walking forward and hadnβt had the chance to look back and check, and that I only looked because she started talking to me and asked. She shouts at me some more saying that now instead of being teachable and accepting advice Iβm being defensive and making excuses. Then I said that Iβm literally not getting any advice and that sheβs making me nervous to mess up because every time Iβve screwed this up so far sheβs yelled at me. Then she said i donβt have a reason to cry and that I wasnβt in trouble that sheβs encouraging me because she believes that I can use the vacuum. I said that it feels like Iβm in trouble because she keeps yelling at me about how I messed up and sheβs clearly annoyed with me and she said she is annoyed because all she asked me to do was vacuum the floor almost thirty minutes ago at this point, and thatβs the one thing I havenβt done. I give up because I just feel so helpless in the situation and turn back to the stupid vacuum, and I ask what to do and she tells me to change the setting (the same f***ing setting that she said didnβt matter 10 f***ing mins ago) and I change it. I try again and surprise surprise no difference. I told her it still wasnβt working, and asked what should I do. She starts yelling at me again, saying βyouβre 16, almost 17. Youβre almost a full grown adult. You should be able to do these things by yourself. Guess what, Iβve got news for you. Youβre gonna walk out that door into the real world and nobodyβs gonna coddle you, nobodyβs gonna teach you how to do things. Theyβre all gonna expect you to figure it out by yourself and rise to the challenge. Nobodyβs gonna just be nice to you just because youβre (she said my real name here). Nobodyβs gonna care. What are you even gonna do when you live by yourself and you cant figure out something as simple as a vacuum? Are you just gonna leave your floors dirty?β And I said no, that when Iβd buy my vacuum that Iβd buy one that Iβm familiar with so I wouldnβt have to figure it out. And said no, that I get what I get. And I said then Iβd vacuum the carpet and sweep the tile/hardwood floors, like I said earlier. And then she snapped saying I would take the easy way out, and I said no that Iβd use a method that I know for a fact works. She asked βwhat? If you get in your car one day and something doesnβt work are you gonna just walk everywhere? If your iPad stops working are you just gonna write everything down by hand instead of type?β And I said if my car stops working that Iβd call someone who knows how to fix it to help me, and for my iPad that if I could write stuff down instead that I would do that or Iβd use a different device until I can get it fixed. She started yelling some more about how all of my answers are avoidance or expecting someone else to do it for me, and that nobodyβs gonna help me that I just have to figure it out on my own. And I told her Iβm not avoiding the problem or expecting people to just do things for me, that Iβm not a car mechanic, and Iβm not an ipad manufacturer, I donβt know how to fix those things. And she said it doesnβt matter, that I have to use critical thinking and fix things myself instead of running away from my problems. Iβm still sobbing through all of this. I try to fix the damn vacuum again, and I say to her that thereβs only two settings to change on the vacuum and I already changed both to hardwood so what do I do? My stepdad finally chimes in asking what is the vacuum not picking up, and I explain. He says the vacuum just wonβt pick it up, then my sister adds that Iβd have to sweep it up. My mom is just staring at me expectantly and I stare back not knowing what she wants me to do. She says βlook, two people just offered you a solutionβ and I said βbut you said I wasnβt allowed to sweep. That was the first thing I tried to do before you made me use the vacuum. You said to use the vacuum, using the broom would be failing to follow instructions.β And she snapped at me that she never said I canβt use the broom, and I lost it, raising my voice now, still sobbing saying that she literally said that I have to use the vacuum Β and figure it out by myself and how now Iβve been getting in trouble over not knowing how to do something and for asking for help and she yells at me βwhy do you keep saying youβre getting in trouble? What happened to you?β And she keeps repeating βwhat happened to youβ and I respond every time βyou keep yelling at me and scolding meβ I break this cycle be saying that I literally got in trouble for asking for help on something I donβt know how to do because I donβt want to screw it up, but surprise surprise, I screwed it up because nobody would help me or show me how to do it. She replied with βyou can go be mad if you want, but yβknow what else you are? Ill-equipped. You were ill-equipped to rise to the challenge and meet expectations. You should be able to use a vacuum. Realize, we got this vacuum from a garage sale, and I didnβt have any instructionsβ and then she asks my stepdad if he had instructions and he said no and she continues βthere, thatβs two other people who had never used the vacuum who figured it out by themselves. But you couldnβt handle it.β And I said βthatβs why I asked you for help! And instead of getting help you started yelling at me and getting annoyed with me for asking and not just already knowing how to do it.β She snapped at me saying that she already said I wasnβt in trouble or being reprimanded, how I wasnβt grounded, I wasnβt physically threatened, so she didnβt know why I keep saying Iβm in trouble and I said itβs because she literally keeps yelling at me and she shouts that she already said it was encouragement and I told her that just because she says itβs encouragement doesnβt magically make it encouragement that she was just yelling at me and scolding me and telling me how I was screwing it up instead of actually helping. And then she shooed me away to finish cleaning the floor and started ignoring me, so I used the broom for the rest and just went to my room. She made it a point to interact with everyone else in the room except me, and didnβt say anything when I went to my room, and she has now started work so she will most likely continue to avoid me, as she usually does after we fight, she always goes out of her way to ignore me until she acts like everythingβs normal again out of nowhere without ever apologizing, she always does that. I hate it that sheβll never say sheβs sorry even when sheβs wrong. She knows how triggering yelling is to me and she still does it. She knows I hate the silent treatment and she still does it. She knows I struggle with my self worth and feelings of anxiety, but she still attacks it. Now here I am, a stupid failure who canβt even use a f***ing vacuum right, and keeps letting everyone down. I donβt know how to do anything right without somebody babying me through it. Iβm a leech onto successful people and Iβm worthless on my own, and on top of it all I am over dramatic and sensitive. Any time something bothers me Iβm either too sensitive, or blowing it out of proportion, or just plain lying. Im not worth existing or being kept alive. I tried to make up for it with my grades, but thatβs never enough. Im a failure whose awful at everything after all. Even my grades are fake. I just get lucky. I shouldnβt be here. Edited October 11, 2023 by TinyDinos Length warning MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted October 12, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted October 12, 2023 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 10 hours ago, TinyDinos said: (Warning, this is a *really* long post) I donβt even know what to write here to describe this. I just hate myself so much it hurts. Iβm a failure and thereβs nobody whoβs gonna help me. Iβm better off gone and everyone else would be better that way too. Iβm such a f***ing burden I hate it. Iβm stupid and idiotic and every word that could be used to say that. My mom asked me to do something simple and I failed. I crumbled because Iβm a failure and Iβm stupid and Iβm so f***ing immature I canβt do anything. I wonβt survive by myself I know it. Iβm supposed to be grown up im supposed to be better and I canβt even do normal. All my mom asked for me to do was for me to use the f***ing vacuum. Iβve never used this vacuum before and asked how to use it and both my mom and stepdad reply sarcastically βjust plug it in and turn it onβ. I know that. I ask what to do because i donβt know how to use this vacuum, and I donβt want to break it, and I donβt want to do a bad job at cleaning what my mom asked me to clean. After a while they finally give me some instructions, and I follow it to the best of my ability and I get shouted at for doing it wrong. I ask for help and they get annoyed and tell me to try it again, and I do and have the same problem I did the first time. My stepdad gets so frustrated that he just gets up and vacuums the edges of the carpet himself. I vacuum the middle, and my mom says βoh look, you did it! Good job!β Enunciating her words in a way that sounds insincere. I just say thank you and go to put the stupid vacuum away and she tells me to use it on the hardwood floor. I say that I was just gonna sweep because itβs easier and she gives me crap about not wanting to learn, and goes in on me about how I buckled under the pressure of having to learn how to use a new vacuum and how she wants me to use the vacuum on the hardwood and for me not to use the broom. I started crying unintentionally (I hate crying in front of her because she always makes me feel bad about crying) and I hated every second of it. I told her I buckled because I didnβt want to do it wrong and she said I was overthinking it and was raising her voice at me the whole time she was speaking to me there. So I take the wretched vacuum and ask her if thereβs something I have to change to use it on the wood, and she says it doesnβt matter. I try it as is (on the setting for the carpet) and my stepdad says to turn of the brush roll. I turn it off and try again and my mom stops me asking whatβs wrong with the way Iβm doing it now, and I look at where I was vacuuming and see thereβs still some confetti or something from our arts and crafts box and I say that the vacuum wasnβt picking up all of the dirt on the floor and she gets upset asking why I didnβt stop and fix the problem and said I wasnβt putting in any effort to doing it right, and I said that it was because I was just walking forward and hadnβt had the chance to look back and check, and that I only looked because she started talking to me and asked. She shouts at me some more saying that now instead of being teachable and accepting advice Iβm being defensive and making excuses. Then I said that Iβm literally not getting any advice and that sheβs making me nervous to mess up because every time Iβve screwed this up so far sheβs yelled at me. Then she said i donβt have a reason to cry and that I wasnβt in trouble that sheβs encouraging me because she believes that I can use the vacuum. I said that it feels like Iβm in trouble because she keeps yelling at me about how I messed up and sheβs clearly annoyed with me and she said she is annoyed because all she asked me to do was vacuum the floor almost thirty minutes ago at this point, and thatβs the one thing I havenβt done. I give up because I just feel so helpless in the situation and turn back to the stupid vacuum, and I ask what to do and she tells me to change the setting (the same f***ing setting that she said didnβt matter 10 f***ing mins ago) and I change it. I try again and surprise surprise no difference. I told her it still wasnβt working, and asked what should I do. She starts yelling at me again, saying βyouβre 16, almost 17. Youβre almost a full grown adult. You should be able to do these things by yourself. Guess what, Iβve got news for you. Youβre gonna walk out that door into the real world and nobodyβs gonna coddle you, nobodyβs gonna teach you how to do things. Theyβre all gonna expect you to figure it out by yourself and rise to the challenge. Nobodyβs gonna just be nice to you just because youβre (she said my real name here). Nobodyβs gonna care. What are you even gonna do when you live by yourself and you cant figure out something as simple as a vacuum? Are you just gonna leave your floors dirty?β And I said no, that when Iβd buy my vacuum that Iβd buy one that Iβm familiar with so I wouldnβt have to figure it out. And said no, that I get what I get. And I said then Iβd vacuum the carpet and sweep the tile/hardwood floors, like I said earlier. And then she snapped saying I would take the easy way out, and I said no that Iβd use a method that I know for a fact works. She asked βwhat? If you get in your car one day and something doesnβt work are you gonna just walk everywhere? If your iPad stops working are you just gonna write everything down by hand instead of type?β And I said if my car stops working that Iβd call someone who knows how to fix it to help me, and for my iPad that if I could write stuff down instead that I would do that or Iβd use a different device until I can get it fixed. She started yelling some more about how all of my answers are avoidance or expecting someone else to do it for me, and that nobodyβs gonna help me that I just have to figure it out on my own. And I told her Iβm not avoiding the problem or expecting people to just do things for me, that Iβm not a car mechanic, and Iβm not an ipad manufacturer, I donβt know how to fix those things. And she said it doesnβt matter, that I have to use critical thinking and fix things myself instead of running away from my problems. Iβm still sobbing through all of this. I try to fix the damn vacuum again, and I say to her that thereβs only two settings to change on the vacuum and I already changed both to hardwood so what do I do? My stepdad finally chimes in asking what is the vacuum not picking up, and I explain. He says the vacuum just wonβt pick it up, then my sister adds that Iβd have to sweep it up. My mom is just staring at me expectantly and I stare back not knowing what she wants me to do. She says βlook, two people just offered you a solutionβ and I said βbut you said I wasnβt allowed to sweep. That was the first thing I tried to do before you made me use the vacuum. You said to use the vacuum, using the broom would be failing to follow instructions.β And she snapped at me that she never said I canβt use the broom, and I lost it, raising my voice now, still sobbing saying that she literally said that I have to use the vacuum Β and figure it out by myself and how now Iβve been getting in trouble over not knowing how to do something and for asking for help and she yells at me βwhy do you keep saying youβre getting in trouble? What happened to you?β And she keeps repeating βwhat happened to youβ and I respond every time βyou keep yelling at me and scolding meβ I break this cycle be saying that I literally got in trouble for asking for help on something I donβt know how to do because I donβt want to screw it up, but surprise surprise, I screwed it up because nobody would help me or show me how to do it. She replied with βyou can go be mad if you want, but yβknow what else you are? Ill-equipped. You were ill-equipped to rise to the challenge and meet expectations. You should be able to use a vacuum. Realize, we got this vacuum from a garage sale, and I didnβt have any instructionsβ and then she asks my stepdad if he had instructions and he said no and she continues βthere, thatβs two other people who had never used the vacuum who figured it out by themselves. But you couldnβt handle it.β And I said βthatβs why I asked you for help! And instead of getting help you started yelling at me and getting annoyed with me for asking and not just already knowing how to do it.β She snapped at me saying that she already said I wasnβt in trouble or being reprimanded, how I wasnβt grounded, I wasnβt physically threatened, so she didnβt know why I keep saying Iβm in trouble and I said itβs because she literally keeps yelling at me and she shouts that she already said it was encouragement and I told her that just because she says itβs encouragement doesnβt magically make it encouragement that she was just yelling at me and scolding me and telling me how I was screwing it up instead of actually helping. And then she shooed me away to finish cleaning the floor and started ignoring me, so I used the broom for the rest and just went to my room. She made it a point to interact with everyone else in the room except me, and didnβt say anything when I went to my room, and she has now started work so she will most likely continue to avoid me, as she usually does after we fight, she always goes out of her way to ignore me until she acts like everythingβs normal again out of nowhere without ever apologizing, she always does that. I hate it that sheβll never say sheβs sorry even when sheβs wrong. She knows how triggering yelling is to me and she still does it. She knows I hate the silent treatment and she still does it. She knows I struggle with my self worth and feelings of anxiety, but she still attacks it. Now here I am, a stupid failure who canβt even use a f***ing vacuum right, and keeps letting everyone down. I donβt know how to do anything right without somebody babying me through it. Iβm a leech onto successful people and Iβm worthless on my own, and on top of it all I am over dramatic and sensitive. Any time something bothers me Iβm either too sensitive, or blowing it out of proportion, or just plain lying. Im not worth existing or being kept alive. I tried to make up for it with my grades, but thatβs never enough. Im a failure whose awful at everything after all. Even my grades are fake. I just get lucky. I shouldnβt be here. Hi @TinyDinos, I'm really glad you have come here and let us know what happened. I find that having arguments or a fights with family member are usually the worst, because we all tend to fall into the same patterns/behaviours (even if we don't want to) and some of it can be really triggering - like you said. You went into a lot of detail when you explained what happened and I'm wondering if it helped to let it all out? How are you feeling now?Β I did notice that you said at the beginning and at the end of your post that you're better off gone and that you shouldn't be here. Before we talk about anything else you said, I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're safe. Your safety is the most important thing to us and we want to make sure you're OK. I'm not sure if you have this information to hand already but here is some safety information. If you feel like you are in crisis then you can reach out to the following:Β Β UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service) USA - The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988 (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text)Β https://988lifeline.org/ A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org - you can find the one for your country and call them if you are in crisisΒ An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful You can also always call the emergency services or go to your local emergency department at the hospital for support I really hope things have settled down a bit. We're here for you! Β MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 9 hours ago, Aurora said: Hi @TinyDinos, I'm really glad you have come here and let us know what happened. I find that having arguments or a fights with family member are usually the worst, because we all tend to fall into the same patterns/behaviours (even if we don't want to) and some of it can be really triggering - like you said. You went into a lot of detail when you explained what happened and I'm wondering if it helped to let it all out? How are you feeling now?Β I did notice that you said at the beginning and at the end of your post that you're better off gone and that you shouldn't be here. Before we talk about anything else you said, I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're safe. Your safety is the most important thing to us and we want to make sure you're OK. I'm not sure if you have this information to hand already but here is some safety information. If you feel like you are in crisis then you can reach out to the following:Β UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service) USA - The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988 (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text)Β https://988lifeline.org/ A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org - you can find the one for your country and call them if you are in crisisΒ An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful You can also always call the emergency services or go to your local emergency department at the hospital for support I really hope things have settled down a bit. We're here for you! Hey. Iβm glad this place exists because I donβt have anywhere else to go. Im sorry about the long post. I can usually get it somewhat cohesive and a readable length but I wasnβt thinking yesterday. I was kind of on autopilot and just got on here because I needed to get my words down onto something without being interrupted. I was just cornered and torn down over and over again yesterday and my mental health is feeling it. I wound up napping for like four hours midday and then slept until 9 today. I wouldβve stayed asleep longer but itβs my day to take care of the dogs. Iβm just tired now. I put off doing schoolwork yesterday though because of my mental health and now Iβve got a bunch to do since I also missed working on Tuesday bc I had a dentist appt. And then worked all day teaching, so Iβm a little bit stressed.Β i do feel like a burden, and those feelings arenβt new to me, Iβm aware of just how much it takes to keep me alive and how those resources could be used if I werenβt here. I donβt particularly want to be here per se, but I donβt necessarily want to go really. I donβt have plans to end anything nor do I have plans of how I would even do it if I decided to, but thatβs neither here nor there. What Iβm trying to say I guess is that Iβll be fine, Iβm just really out of it for now. Iβll keep you posted though. What got me really bad is how my fears were realized and kinda thrown in my face yesterday and it really hurt coming from someone who said theyβd uplift me and teach me and be a guide and shelter no matter what.. again. I already have gone through this kind of stuff before with a bunch of family members on my bio dadβs side, but Iβd grown to expect that from them. Getting that from my mom.. it hurt so much worse than any of those times with my bio dad. She doesnβt believe in me either. Iβm supposed to have this all figured out. Iβm failing at simple things and that must mean Iβm not trying hard enough. Iβve been told since forever that Iβm smart and Iβm gonna go places and Iβm above average and gifted and all that, and now Iβm doing worse than people younger than me. Other people my age donβt struggle the way I am. Thereβs something wrong with me. Thatβs what makes me wanna leave all of this behind and stop letting other people down, and stop having to try to be like anyone or even like myself. No more trying. Realistically though? I know it isnβt that easy, nothing for me is. I just gotta muck through it I guess. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ditch the Label Staff Blondie Posted October 12, 2023 Ditch the Label Staff Share Posted October 12, 2023 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 3 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: Hey. Iβm glad this place exists because I donβt have anywhere else to go. Im sorry about the long post. I can usually get it somewhat cohesive and a readable length but I wasnβt thinking yesterday. I was kind of on autopilot and just got on here because I needed to get my words down onto something without being interrupted. I was just cornered and torn down over and over again yesterday and my mental health is feeling it. I wound up napping for like four hours midday and then slept until 9 today. I wouldβve stayed asleep longer but itβs my day to take care of the dogs. Iβm just tired now. I put off doing schoolwork yesterday though because of my mental health and now Iβve got a bunch to do since I also missed working on Tuesday bc I had a dentist appt. And then worked all day teaching, so Iβm a little bit stressed.Β i do feel like a burden, and those feelings arenβt new to me, Iβm aware of just how much it takes to keep me alive and how those resources could be used if I werenβt here. I donβt particularly want to be here per se, but I donβt necessarily want to go really. I donβt have plans to end anything nor do I have plans of how I would even do it if I decided to, but thatβs neither here nor there. What Iβm trying to say I guess is that Iβll be fine, Iβm just really out of it for now. Iβll keep you posted though. What got me really bad is how my fears were realized and kinda thrown in my face yesterday and it really hurt coming from someone who said theyβd uplift me and teach me and be a guide and shelter no matter what.. again. I already have gone through this kind of stuff before with a bunch of family members on my bio dadβs side, but Iβd grown to expect that from them. Getting that from my mom.. it hurt so much worse than any of those times with my bio dad. She doesnβt believe in me either. Iβm supposed to have this all figured out. Iβm failing at simple things and that must mean Iβm not trying hard enough. Iβve been told since forever that Iβm smart and Iβm gonna go places and Iβm above average and gifted and all that, and now Iβm doing worse than people younger than me. Other people my age donβt struggle the way I am. Thereβs something wrong with me. Thatβs what makes me wanna leave all of this behind and stop letting other people down, and stop having to try to be like anyone or even like myself. No more trying. Realistically though? I know it isnβt that easy, nothing for me is. I just gotta muck through it I guess. Hey @TinyDinosΒ Thanks so much for letting us know that you're safe. I wanted to let you know that @AuroraΒ will be back online tomorrow morning to pick up with you again. I also wanted to let you know that I'm very glad you are here and that we will do all we can to support you through this - you deserve support and you are not a burden even though I know those feelings are very real. Meanwhile if things get really tough - please do make use of the crisis resources we shared with you.Β We're here for you. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avyavastha Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 6 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: Hey. Iβm glad this place exists because I donβt have anywhere else to go. Im sorry about the long post. I can usually get it somewhat cohesive and a readable length but I wasnβt thinking yesterday. I was kind of on autopilot and just got on here because I needed to get my words down onto something without being interrupted. I was just cornered and torn down over and over again yesterday and my mental health is feeling it. I wound up napping for like four hours midday and then slept until 9 today. I wouldβve stayed asleep longer but itβs my day to take care of the dogs. Iβm just tired now. I put off doing schoolwork yesterday though because of my mental health and now Iβve got a bunch to do since I also missed working on Tuesday bc I had a dentist appt. And then worked all day teaching, so Iβm a little bit stressed.Β i do feel like a burden, and those feelings arenβt new to me, Iβm aware of just how much it takes to keep me alive and how those resources could be used if I werenβt here. I donβt particularly want to be here per se, but I donβt necessarily want to go really. I donβt have plans to end anything nor do I have plans of how I would even do it if I decided to, but thatβs neither here nor there. What Iβm trying to say I guess is that Iβll be fine, Iβm just really out of it for now. Iβll keep you posted though. What got me really bad is how my fears were realized and kinda thrown in my face yesterday and it really hurt coming from someone who said theyβd uplift me and teach me and be a guide and shelter no matter what.. again. I already have gone through this kind of stuff before with a bunch of family members on my bio dadβs side, but Iβd grown to expect that from them. Getting that from my mom.. it hurt so much worse than any of those times with my bio dad. She doesnβt believe in me either. Iβm supposed to have this all figured out. Iβm failing at simple things and that must mean Iβm not trying hard enough. Iβve been told since forever that Iβm smart and Iβm gonna go places and Iβm above average and gifted and all that, and now Iβm doing worse than people younger than me. Other people my age donβt struggle the way I am. Thereβs something wrong with me. Thatβs what makes me wanna leave all of this behind and stop letting other people down, and stop having to try to be like anyone or even like myself. No more trying. Realistically though? I know it isnβt that easy, nothing for me is. I just gotta muck through it I guess. Hey TinyDinos. It might not mean much, but I'm usually available on weekdays if you do want to talk. I kind of went/go through those kinds of things with my parents, so...feel free to shoot me a message. <3 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyDinos Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Heavy emotion, Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 4 hours ago, Blondie said: Hey @TinyDinosΒ Thanks so much for letting us know that you're safe. I wanted to let you know that @AuroraΒ will be back online tomorrow morning to pick up with you again. I also wanted to let you know that I'm very glad you are here and that we will do all we can to support you through this - you deserve support and you are not a burden even though I know those feelings are very real. Meanwhile if things get really tough - please do make use of the crisis resources we shared with you.Β We're here for you. Thank you for your reply.. Iβll keep the resources shared in mind thank you Β 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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