Talking about mental health with parents

[turtledoveinthedark]

I've had struggles with my mental health for the past few years, and I've never really mentioned it to my family. I think my experiences match with anxiety and depression, and i used to cut myself. Sometimes it'd be really nice if they knew, because my mental health isn't going away. Other times, I think, "I'm getting better. I know myself quite well. Do I even need their help?" I want to open up about things, but it also feels like I don't need to. Any advice?

[Luie]

1 hour ago, turtledoveinthedark said:

I've had struggles with my mental health for the past few years, and I've never really mentioned it to my family. I think my experiences match with anxiety and depression, and i used to cut myself. Sometimes it'd be really nice if they knew, because my mental health isn't going away. Other times, I think, "I'm getting better. I know myself quite well. Do I even need their help?" I want to open up about things, but it also feels like I don't need to. Any advice?

 

Heyy @turtledoveinthedark, First off, I want to say that I'm really glad you reached out and shared what's been going on with you. It's not easy to talk about these things, and it takes a lot of courage. 

I did want to check around your safety and wellbeing, you mentioned that you've struggled with anxiety and depression and used to cut yourself. How are you feeling about self-harm these days? Is that something that's still on your mind?

It's completely normal to have mixed feelings about opening up to your family. On one hand, it can feel like a huge relief to let someone else in and get their support. On the other, you might feel like you're handling things okay on your own or worry about how they might react. Opening up to your family could be a way to get more support, and they might surprise you with how understanding they can be. Sometimes just having someone know what you're going through can make a big difference. But it's also okay if you want to take things slow and only share when you're ready.

What are your thoughts on getting support outside of your family? We definitely are here at DTL online, however is there in person support perhaps at school through a counsellor or therapist, would this be an accessible?

You are not alone in this, we will figure it out together 

 

[turtledoveinthedark]

2 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @turtledoveinthedark, First off, I want to say that I'm really glad you reached out and shared what's been going on with you. It's not easy to talk about these things, and it takes a lot of courage. 

I did want to check around your safety and wellbeing, you mentioned that you've struggled with anxiety and depression and used to cut yourself. How are you feeling about self-harm these days? Is that something that's still on your mind?

It's completely normal to have mixed feelings about opening up to your family. On one hand, it can feel like a huge relief to let someone else in and get their support. On the other, you might feel like you're handling things okay on your own or worry about how they might react. Opening up to your family could be a way to get more support, and they might surprise you with how understanding they can be. Sometimes just having someone know what you're going through can make a big difference. But it's also okay if you want to take things slow and only share when you're ready.

What are your thoughts on getting support outside of your family? We definitely are here at DTL online, however is there in person support perhaps at school through a counsellor or therapist, would this be an accessible?

You are not alone in this, we will figure it out together 

Thank you for this! SH has been tempting a few times, but I've gotten decent at coping and I'll be 100 days clean on Wednesday. As for support from outside the family, I don't really like my school counselor, and I'm not sure how far that confidentiality stretches. I'd need my parents to help me find a therapist. This platform is pretty good; I've found a few other mental health apps that have helped me out. I think I can manage for the moment... I have sort of a letter drafted to my parents if things get worse and I truly can't make it by myself. I'm just playing a waiting game and trying not to crack. 

[Hazard]

1 hour ago, turtledoveinthedark said:

Thank you for this! SH has been tempting a few times, but I've gotten decent at coping and I'll be 100 days clean on Wednesday. As for support from outside the family, I don't really like my school counselor, and I'm not sure how far that confidentiality stretches. I'd need my parents to help me find a therapist. This platform is pretty good; I've found a few other mental health apps that have helped me out. I think I can manage for the moment... I have sort of a letter drafted to my parents if things get worse and I truly can't make it by myself. I'm just playing a waiting game and trying not to crack. 

Hey, I'm going to jump in real quick - 

I totally get not liking school counselors, and that confidentiality does not stretch all that far. But sometimes you can go to them for a singular problem and they're good at working through that. Like, instead of saying you have anxiety and you've self-harmed, you could say 'I'm really worried about ____' and they can help you resolve that. Even if you don't like them. Although, you can also totally avoid them. Teachers can be a good bet to - even though I have zero luck with school counselors, I've found that teachers give a good input and have plenty lived experience too. You can also split different problems among different people, depending on what kind of outlook you need for what.

This platform is good, but it shouldn't be your sole help. It is for some of the users here, but you should do your best to reach out elsewhere too. I do think that you should mention it to your parents. Once again, you can lead with a small 'I'm worried about ____' and see how they deal with it before you tell them everything. 

I hope this helps.

[turtledoveinthedark]

14 hours ago, Hazard said:

Hey, I'm going to jump in real quick - 

I totally get not liking school counselors, and that confidentiality does not stretch all that far. But sometimes you can go to them for a singular problem and they're good at working through that. Like, instead of saying you have anxiety and you've self-harmed, you could say 'I'm really worried about ____' and they can help you resolve that. Even if you don't like them. Although, you can also totally avoid them. Teachers can be a good bet to - even though I have zero luck with school counselors, I've found that teachers give a good input and have plenty lived experience too. You can also split different problems among different people, depending on what kind of outlook you need for what.

This platform is good, but it shouldn't be your sole help. It is for some of the users here, but you should do your best to reach out elsewhere too. I do think that you should mention it to your parents. Once again, you can lead with a small 'I'm worried about ____' and see how they deal with it before you tell them everything. 

I hope this helps.

Good points- thank you

[Lennie]

17 hours ago, turtledoveinthedark said:

Thank you for this! SH has been tempting a few times, but I've gotten decent at coping and I'll be 100 days clean on Wednesday. As for support from outside the family, I don't really like my school counselor, and I'm not sure how far that confidentiality stretches. I'd need my parents to help me find a therapist. This platform is pretty good; I've found a few other mental health apps that have helped me out. I think I can manage for the moment... I have sort of a letter drafted to my parents if things get worse and I truly can't make it by myself. I'm just playing a waiting game and trying not to crack. 

Hi @turtledoveinthedark - congratulations on reaching 100 days! That's a huge achievement and I hope you are feeling proud of yourself.

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing in considering reaching out for additional support, although I understand that who you ask and when can be a difficult thing to decide upon. I think @Hazard gave some great advice on this topic. I'd just like to add that if you would like to speak with one of the Support Mentors 1-2-1 about any of your concerns, please feel free to get in touch via Confidential Support (https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support) where we will be happy to speak with you further.

We are here for you