Being the party planner of the group is daunting

[sammyboy]

Hi there. I’ve posted on here on a forum here before so I think I’m in the right spot for what I’m currently feeling and experiencing. 
 

I love meeting people and socializing with them on a bunch, and I love it so much more when their groups invite me along. Yesterday, I met two people that I’ve been greatly acquainted with and we briefly reconnected. They had girls with them and my acquaintances invited me and whoever I wanted to bring to come to the party, hosted by the girls they were with. 
 

Before leaving, we were talking about costumes since it’s Halloween weekend and I asked the girl if she was gonna wear the same costume as the one she was wearing which was a Toy Story Jessie costume. She said no and said she was going to wear Dallas cowboys cheerleader costume. Since I was attracted to her, the way I was flirting with my breath taken away and joking happened and she noticed. She then called out that she was not going to be provocative and pg-13. I then brought up something about R rated in a joke and it went downhill from there. My stupid drunk self brought up R+ and R++, and she joked that I should go to a st*** club instead. I joked back and said I didn’t intend that way. But like it was really bad. I remember ever since then that I had thoughts in my head that what if she thinks I’m creepy and such, what if this is where I ruined it with those two acquaintances, and so on. I worried I wasn’t going to get details on the party and I had told my main friends about it and they were excited. Being in 20s, there’s a yearning for house parties and so this is big for me since I grew up as a teenager not going to house party or ever been one with the people from my school. They didn’t send the address for the party and I am sick of it. I think I’ma tell my friends that they didn’t share. At first I was fearful that I’ll ruin expectations for my friends who were excited for it but in the end, that’s out of my control so it shouldn’t affect me. 
 

im taking this much harder than I should. I know I messed up, like everyone else but I’m holding this too close to my chest and I don’t like it. I know it’s not affecting me tomorrow or any other day. And if those are not my acquaintances anymore, then so what? There are plenty of others out there. 
 

i joke a plenty with people and people take it either really well or not. I really felt it hurting all night and all day today thinking that im a creep or weird or messed up just for joking and sharing my sexual interest. Oh well. 

[catgal05]

Hi there , you're not the only one We have all might have said something in our lives that turned out awkward . I try to think before I text or speak now. But then Like you said some people may take it really well or not. If they don't just apologize to them. I don't think she was too upset by this joke because she ended up with a joke back to you?? Maybe she could have been sarcastic. 

[Luie]

13 hours ago, sammyboy said:

Hi there. I’ve posted on here on a forum here before so I think I’m in the right spot for what I’m currently feeling and experiencing. 
 

I love meeting people and socializing with them on a bunch, and I love it so much more when their groups invite me along. Yesterday, I met two people that I’ve been greatly acquainted with and we briefly reconnected. They had girls with them and my acquaintances invited me and whoever I wanted to bring to come to the party, hosted by the girls they were with. 
 

Before leaving, we were talking about costumes since it’s Halloween weekend and I asked the girl if she was gonna wear the same costume as the one she was wearing which was a Toy Story Jessie costume. She said no and said she was going to wear Dallas cowboys cheerleader costume. Since I was attracted to her, the way I was flirting with my breath taken away and joking happened and she noticed. She then called out that she was not going to be provocative and pg-13. I then brought up something about R rated in a joke and it went downhill from there. My stupid drunk self brought up R+ and R++, and she joked that I should go to a st*** club instead. I joked back and said I didn’t intend that way. But like it was really bad. I remember ever since then that I had thoughts in my head that what if she thinks I’m creepy and such, what if this is where I ruined it with those two acquaintances, and so on. I worried I wasn’t going to get details on the party and I had told my main friends about it and they were excited. Being in 20s, there’s a yearning for house parties and so this is big for me since I grew up as a teenager not going to house party or ever been one with the people from my school. They didn’t send the address for the party and I am sick of it. I think I’ma tell my friends that they didn’t share. At first I was fearful that I’ll ruin expectations for my friends who were excited for it but in the end, that’s out of my control so it shouldn’t affect me. 
 

im taking this much harder than I should. I know I messed up, like everyone else but I’m holding this too close to my chest and I don’t like it. I know it’s not affecting me tomorrow or any other day. And if those are not my acquaintances anymore, then so what? There are plenty of others out there. 
 

i joke a plenty with people and people take it either really well or not. I really felt it hurting all night and all day today thinking that im a creep or weird or messed up just for joking and sharing my sexual interest. Oh well. 

 

Heyy @sammyboy, I'm really glad you reached out, and I want you to know that it's totally okay to feel the way you do. We all make mistakes, and it's a part of being human. You're clearly a social and outgoing person who enjoys meeting new people, and that's awesome!

It sounds like the situation at the party got a little awkward, but don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes humour and flirting can be a bit tricky to navigate, especially when we're in a social setting and might have had a few drinks. The important thing is that you didn't have any bad intentions, and it seems like you genuinely regret how it played out. You're totally right that it's essential to let go of the worry about what others think. We can't control how people perceive us, and if those acquaintances decide to distance themselves, there are indeed plenty of other people out there who will appreciate your sense of humour and the real you.

It's also okay to have sexual interests and to share them, but it's all about finding the right context and making sure everyone involved is comfortable. Mistakes help us learn and grow, so take this as a learning experience. Your main friends are excited about the party, so it might be a good idea to let them know that you haven't received the address yet. It's not about ruining their expectations; it's about making sure everyone is on the same page. How does this sound to you?

And hey, you're definitely not a creep, weird, or messed up for joking and expressing your interests. We're all unique, and different people have different boundaries and comfort levels. As you said, there are plenty of others out there, and you'll find the right people who appreciate your personality and humour. Let's take a deep breath and try not to be too hard on yourself. This too shall pass, and you'll move on from this experience with valuable lessons.