Eep

[Emberfrost12]

On 9/5/2023 at 2:34 AM, Aurora said:

Hi there, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing? I'm really sorry to hear that they messed up so badly - it sounds really unfair that they just switched students around on the first day. Surely this should have been sorted out much earlier and not on the second day of school. If drama is really popular maybe they should think about running two classes? You mentioned that you get to speak to the vice principal today. I hope your meeting with them goes really well and she can somehow make sure that you can switch back to drama or at least that you get to do it next term. 

I talked to her and she’s gonna try to fix my options. Let’s hope that it works out

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I talked to her and she’s gonna try to fix my options. Let’s hope that it works out

I'm really glad to hear that. Hoping it works out and you can switch back. 

[Emberfrost12]

8 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm really glad to hear that. Hoping it works out and you can switch back. 

So far, no progress. I'm going to go remind her today :)

[Emberfrost12]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

This morning my brain did the thing where if I can't see an area I'm going to, it isn't real and/or I will be attacked there. However I was so dissociated otherwise that I also decided that if that did happen, I'd just turn into dust and it'd all be fine

My self-esteem is doing some not-so-fun things, and I'm really close to shutting down and I don't want to and everything is impossible and I don't know what to do

[Aurora]

18 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

This morning my brain did the thing where if I can't see an area I'm going to, it isn't real and/or I will be attacked there. However I was so dissociated otherwise that I also decided that if that did happen, I'd just turn into dust and it'd all be fine

My self-esteem is doing some not-so-fun things, and I'm really close to shutting down and I don't want to and everything is impossible and I don't know what to do

Hi there, thanks for telling us what's going on. I've noticed that you are really good at noticing the signs that you're not doing so well and are feeling overwhelmed. I can imagine that this must be quite a scary feeling to think that you are close to shutting down.  Is there anyone you can reach out to right now? Maybe someone you can talk to in your school? Also, have you tried to do some grounding exercises? This might help you to refocus on the present moment. 

Can I ask if you are feeling safe right now? Your safety is the most important thing here and it's OK to say if you're not feeling safe. 

[Emberfrost12]

On 9/8/2023 at 6:59 AM, Aurora said:

Hi there, thanks for telling us what's going on. I've noticed that you are really good at noticing the signs that you're not doing so well and are feeling overwhelmed. I can imagine that this must be quite a scary feeling to think that you are close to shutting down.  Is there anyone you can reach out to right now? Maybe someone you can talk to in your school? Also, have you tried to do some grounding exercises? This might help you to refocus on the present moment. 

Can I ask if you are feeling safe right now? Your safety is the most important thing here and it's OK to say if you're not feeling safe. 

It's gotten a lot better. I did end up talking to one of my favorite teachers, though. (one that I don't have this year, unfortunately)

Yep. I'm feeling fine

[Aurora]

On 9/9/2023 at 11:00 PM, Emberfrost12 said:

It's gotten a lot better. I did end up talking to one of my favorite teachers, though. (one that I don't have this year, unfortunately)

Yep. I'm feeling fine

I'm really glad to hear that! Do you think talking to your teacher helped? What a pity that you don't have that teacher this year. It sounds like you can still talk to them though, which is great. 

[Emberfrost12]

6 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm really glad to hear that! Do you think talking to your teacher helped? What a pity that you don't have that teacher this year. It sounds like you can still talk to them though, which is great. 

I think it did

Yeah, I can still talk to them :)

[Emberfrost12]

I just had a mental breakdown and now i'm just acting angry to all my friends. Idk what to do about this

[Luie]

20 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I just had a mental breakdown and now i'm just acting angry to all my friends. Idk what to do about this

Heyy @Emberfrost12, I've messaged you on Confidential Support. 

[Emberfrost12]

Wooo this is my thread and I'm stealing it back

[Emberfrost12]

I proclaim this thread as my personal update thread, because everyone else seems to have one. Therefore, I must give you all an update.

My energy pretty obviously went up! Don't know if you could tell....

I'm working on a reading response that I don't think my teacher actually expects me to hand in, but we'll see if I get it in anyway. If it isn't good, I won't hand it in so that my grade average stays high. Who knows though, it might be awesome.

[Emberfrost12]

I need to persuade everyone to take this survey now. Wahoo...

[Luie]

14 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I proclaim this thread as my personal update thread, because everyone else seems to have one. Therefore, I must give you all an update.

My energy pretty obviously went up! Don't know if you could tell....

I'm working on a reading response that I don't think my teacher actually expects me to hand in, but we'll see if I get it in anyway. If it isn't good, I won't hand it in so that my grade average stays high. Who knows though, it might be awesome.

 

That's fantastic to hear about your increased energy @Emberfrost12! It's always great when you feel a positive shift in your motivation and productivity. As for the reading response, it sounds like you're considering the pros and cons wisely. If you think it's something that could enhance your understanding of the material or showcase your skills, it might be worth the effort.

From my experience taking risks and pushing yourself a bit can lead to unexpected positive outcomes, what do you think? If you feel confident in your work, handing it in could be a chance to impress your teacher and demonstrate your dedication to the subject. On the other hand, if you're unsure, prioritizing your overall grade might be the best strategy, does this sound like something that would work with you?

 

[Emberfrost12]

0-0 @Daisie is online.....haven't talked to you in a while.

I feel like something is about to happen, with the mod activity right now. Then again, it's a recurring feeling that never amounts to anything....usually.......

[Emberfrost12]

On 11/11/2023 at 4:20 AM, Luie said:

That's fantastic to hear about your increased energy @Emberfrost12! It's always great when you feel a positive shift in your motivation and productivity. As for the reading response, it sounds like you're considering the pros and cons wisely. If you think it's something that could enhance your understanding of the material or showcase your skills, it might be worth the effort.

From my experience taking risks and pushing yourself a bit can lead to unexpected positive outcomes, what do you think? If you feel confident in your work, handing it in could be a chance to impress your teacher and demonstrate your dedication to the subject. On the other hand, if you're unsure, prioritizing your overall grade might be the best strategy, does this sound like something that would work with you?

I think i'm just going to prioritize my grade. We'll see

[Emberfrost12]

21 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

0-0 @Daisie is online.....haven't talked to you in a while.

I feel like something is about to happen, with the mod activity right now. Then again, it's a recurring feeling that never amounts to anything....usually.......

Also, @Daisie, to clarify, I used to have a pfp with two cats on it? One dark and in blue, the other light and red/orange? I changed my pfp because I developed the awareness that stealing art isn't good....but I'm the same emberfrost12

[Emberfrost12]

Post number 4,500!!

[Duckie]

5 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Post number 4,500!!

Oh wow! That's an achievement! I am impressed!

[Emberfrost12]

Is it fair (or realistic) that I really want to be able to quit worrying about everything and just have someone take care of me? I want to have the opportunity arise while I feel safe around someone so that I can just not have to worry about what comes next or what has already happened and just be comforted for a while. But I know that isn't possible. I'm just...so scared all the time, I want to be able to feel like I'm not about to fail and that even if I do, it'll be fine because someone still cares about me. I have people like that, but not in places where I can just stay and not in places where I immediately have to worry about being around other people who really will judge me if I fail.

And also, I keep finding myself acting like a child when I'm in certain spaces or at certain times, and I can hide it, but it comes out really strongly and I also don't know how to feel about that one. I feel like the two things relate; I want to be comforted and I act like a child sometimes.

I...don't know

[Emberfrost12]

11 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Is it fair (or realistic) that I really want to be able to quit worrying about everything and just have someone take care of me? I want to have the opportunity arise while I feel safe around someone so that I can just not have to worry about what comes next or what has already happened and just be comforted for a while. But I know that isn't possible. I'm just...so scared all the time, I want to be able to feel like I'm not about to fail and that even if I do, it'll be fine because someone still cares about me. I have people like that, but not in places where I can just stay and not in places where I immediately have to worry about being around other people who really will judge me if I fail.

And also, I keep finding myself acting like a child when I'm in certain spaces or at certain times, and I can hide it, but it comes out really strongly and I also don't know how to feel about that one. I feel like the two things relate; I want to be comforted and I act like a child sometimes.

I...don't know

And, I have cried over this, so it's definitely a big thing for me

[Unsure-But-Sure-All-At-Once]

Hey @Emberfrost12, how are you? 

I completely get what you've said about wanting someone to take care of you. Sometimes, you just want to be hugged and supported and loved without having to worry about any judgment or criticism. I take it that fear of failure is/has been bothering you lately? 

I think it's natural for anybody to want to have what you mentioned--and especially in adolescence we are more vulnerable and need extra care/yet more independence at the same time. It's a strange balance. I also understand acting like a child. You mentioned acting this way at certain times or in certain places--are those times or places when you feel more comfortable with those around you (so, for example, you feel like you can let down your guard and act more "childish" but perhaps this isn't the way you meant it) or when you feel more vulnerable, such as when you might be feeling unheard or supported?

[Catsup]

On 12/17/2023 at 9:11 AM, Emberfrost12 said:

Is it fair (or realistic) that I really want to be able to quit worrying about everything and just have someone take care of me? I want to have the opportunity arise while I feel safe around someone so that I can just not have to worry about what comes next or what has already happened and just be comforted for a while. But I know that isn't possible. I'm just...so scared all the time, I want to be able to feel like I'm not about to fail and that even if I do, it'll be fine because someone still cares about me. I have people like that, but not in places where I can just stay and not in places where I immediately have to worry about being around other people who really will judge me if I fail.

And also, I keep finding myself acting like a child when I'm in certain spaces or at certain times, and I can hide it, but it comes out really strongly and I also don't know how to feel about that one. I feel like the two things relate; I want to be comforted and I act like a child sometimes.

I...don't know

Hey! I think it is very relatable to want to worry less about things, even if it means being more of a "child".  We all need comfort in our lives.   There is a reason we now have the term "adulting" for many tasks.  All together, it can feel like a lot of overwhelming pressure to not be a child anymore.  I think it's probably pretty common and doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

Also, even if you are what we might call a late bloomer, there is no rush to mature.  I believe we all grow at our own paces with different things, and some of my favorite people in my life can act a bit childish sometimes, myself included.

If you can help it at all, try not to be afraid of failure.  A failure is actually a learning opportunity and almost every failure is something that can be overcome. :)

[Emberfrost12]

On 12/19/2023 at 1:18 PM, Unsure-But-Sure-All-At-Once said:

Hey @Emberfrost12, how are you? 

I completely get what you've said about wanting someone to take care of you. Sometimes, you just want to be hugged and supported and loved without having to worry about any judgment or criticism. I take it that fear of failure is/has been bothering you lately? 

I think it's natural for anybody to want to have what you mentioned--and especially in adolescence we are more vulnerable and need extra care/yet more independence at the same time. It's a strange balance. I also understand acting like a child. You mentioned acting this way at certain times or in certain places--are those times or places when you feel more comfortable with those around you (so, for example, you feel like you can let down your guard and act more "childish" but perhaps this isn't the way you meant it) or when you feel more vulnerable, such as when you might be feeling unheard or supported?

Fear of failure always bothers me :,)

Kinda both, but in different ways. If I'm super comfortable with someone and especially if I'm in someway overstimulated, I'll find myself acting like a child in being amazed or distracted by totally normal things (most commonly, things that light up or are 'shiny'). If I feel unheard or hurt, it's more like I'm trying to hide, want a hug, want love and attention and validation from the people who make me feel safer. With both, I often start stimming, especially verbally and my speech capabilities regress a little bit and it takes me like three sentences to get the worth of one sentence across, because it gets repetitive.

[Emberfrost12]

4 hours ago, Catsup said:

Hey! I think it is very relatable to want to worry less about things, even if it means being more of a "child".  We all need comfort in our lives.   There is a reason we now have the term "adulting" for many tasks.  All together, it can feel like a lot of overwhelming pressure to not be a child anymore.  I think it's probably pretty common and doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

Also, even if you are what we might call a late bloomer, there is no rush to mature.  I believe we all grow at our own paces with different things, and some of my favorite people in my life can act a bit childish sometimes, myself included.

If you can help it at all, try not to be afraid of failure.  A failure is actually a learning opportunity and almost every failure is something that can be overcome. :)

It isn't so much acting childish. It's more so actually reaching the level of functioning as a child. being a child. I'm largely pretty good at adulting and being mature (to the point where people say I'm more mature than other people my age) but sometimes that part of my brain just shuts down. And then me = child. 

I think part of the problem is that I feel as though if I fail, everyone will hate me and I won't be able to recover and no one will love me and support me ever. So it helps that I have people now who I trust to that degree that they generate comfort and safety, because that allows me more to feel safe and like if I fail I'm going to have someone who will still love me. The problem is I haven't told the main person who I find comfort in that i find comfort in her, so she doesn't actually know. I'd love a hug from her, but I haven't actually told her either of those things because I'm afraid of crossing a boundary