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The Coyotea’s Den


Coyotea    

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17 minutes ago, Megs- said:

I’m so so sorry, Coyodean. Sending my love to you, I’m here for you <3

Thank you megs 

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Just now, Coyotea said:

Thank you megs 

You know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what happens! 

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I’m your friend forever ❤️

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I can’t decide what book I should read first. Definitely not any of the Rick riordan books, since I don’t have them all. I have so many to read…

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Disordered Eating, Other, Self-Harm

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Got up at 6am, today. Wormed the dogs, got ready for riding but then it was canceled because of weather and our car has issues. I’m tired, I’m so tired and my head hurts. And another thing is that I don’t feel like eating but I know my baby brother will be upset if I don’t. Not- upset with me, just..worried and shit, idk..I don’t like to eat just in general but it’s harder when he isn’t online, I miss him, he said he’d be back before 11am so…idk.
My dysphoria is killing me, why did I have to be born this way? I’m never gonna be in a body I’m happy with, I’ll never be how I’m supposed to. Oh, yeah and on top of it all I keep getting these like, phantom pains where I normally cut. I can’t tell if that’s my body saying “don’t do it again.” Or if my urges are getting worse. I need to shower but I don’t feel like getting up. 

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Another thing is that not a lot of my pants fit anymore, they’re too big around the waist and it’s super uncomfortable. I just want to cry. But the I can’t eat, it’s so hard I’m not gonna be able to do this.  I’m in a stagnant headspace of “I can’t eat because I’ll gain weight.” And “I want to cry because my clothes don’t fit and are uncomfortable, and if I don’t eat I’ll be disappointing Pinocchio.”  

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8 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

Okayyy we’re back. Just took a shower, and I fucked up, I relapsed again..oh my god, I feel like a failure. I can’t do this, I can’t stand this body or my life. I want to not exist but I promised Mylo I wouldn’t do anything so I’m not gonna do anything..but I still can’t believe I relapsed. 

Hey hey. I’m so so sorry. Have you reached out to anyone in CS? I’ll tag them here, @Digital Mentor. I’m sorry you relapsed, do you medical attention? If so, is anyone around so you can get access to support? Are you safe right now?

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7 minutes ago, Megs- said:

Hey hey. I’m so so sorry. Have you reached out to anyone in CS? I’ll tag them here, @Digital Mentor. I’m sorry you relapsed, do you medical attention? If so, is anyone around so you can get access to support? Are you safe right now?

No, I haven’t but I’ll be fine. I already cleaned what I needed. People are home with me but I can’t tell them about this. I’m fine.

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Just now, Coyotea said:

No, I haven’t but I’ll be fine. I already cleaned what I needed. People are home with me but I can’t tell them about this. I’m fine.

I’m worried about you, I hope you can stay safe. Always here for you!

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27 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

No, I haven’t but I’ll be fine. I already cleaned what I needed. People are home with me but I can’t tell them about this. I’m fine.

Hi @Coyotea, I'm going to ask one of the mentors to drop you a message shortly.

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33 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

No, I haven’t but I’ll be fine. I already cleaned what I needed. People are home with me but I can’t tell them about this. I’m fine.

Heyy @Coyotea, I have messaged you on Confidential Support. I am so sorry for what you've been through today. Will wait for your reply. 

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2 hours ago, Megs- said:

Hey hey. I’m so so sorry. Have you reached out to anyone in CS? I’ll tag them here, @Digital Mentor. I’m sorry you relapsed, do you medical attention? If so, is anyone around so you can get access to support? Are you safe right now?

Thanks @Megs-, we've contacted them. 

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So, for today. I was supposed to have a riding lesson because I didn’t on Wednesday, but it got canceled because rain.  Yesterday though, it was alright! I had a really good riding lesson, my instructor said that my canter was really nice and collected. The horse I rode, Clive, was super sweet and patient and just a very good boy. 

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1 minute ago, Coyotea said:

So, for today. I was supposed to have a riding lesson because I didn’t on Wednesday, but it got canceled because rain.  Yesterday though, it was alright! I had a really good riding lesson, my instructor said that my canter was really nice and collected. The horse I rode, Clive, was super sweet and patient and just a very good boy. 

Aw! I’m so happy you finally got to do a riding lesson, Clive sounds like you both connected well. How are you doing today?

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3 minutes ago, Megs- said:

Aw! I’m so happy you finally got to do a riding lesson, Clive sounds like you both connected well. How are you doing today?

Hi! Uh, I’m alright, how are you? 

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Update: it is raining here, and I forgot how much I hate thunder. it shook the fucking house I’m in. :D 

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1 minute ago, Coyotea said:

Hi! Uh, I’m alright, how are you? 

I’m okay, ( could be better ofc!) but that’s life aye! 
 

 

Just now, Coyotea said:

Update: it is raining here, and I forgot how much I hate thunder. it shook the fucking house I’m in. :D 

Oh no! I also hate thunder, causes a lot of anxiety!

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20 minutes ago, Megs- said:

I’m okay, ( could be better ofc!) but that’s life aye! 
 

Oh no! I also hate thunder, causes a lot of anxiety!

Yeaahhhh not fun :’) 

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Just now, Coyotea said:

Yeaahhhh not fun :’) 

I did make a club for chatting with strict rules etc but not been approved yet :/. But I don’t spam ur thread hugs

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1 minute ago, Megs- said:

I did make a club for chatting with strict rules etc but not been approved yet :/. But I don’t spam ur thread hugs

Oh nice 

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Never really told you this but.. I love your profile pic! Did you make it?

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Just now, Megs- said:

Never really told you this but.. I love your profile pic! Did you make it?

I didn’t draw it (I wish I was able to draw that well ahaha) but it’s a picrew I used! so technically? Kind of- but the art isn’t mine 

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Just now, Coyotea said:

I didn’t draw it (I wish I was able to draw that well ahaha) but it’s a picrew I used! so technically? Kind of- but the art isn’t mine 

I have a picrew but it don’t look as nice as urs :/ haha 😆 

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1 minute ago, Megs- said:

I have a picrew but it don’t look as nice as urs :/ haha 😆 

Haha if you want I can tell you the creator? 

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1 minute ago, Coyotea said:

Haha if you want I can tell you the creator? 

Yes please! Plus, picrew is so confusing for me lol 😂 

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