I honestly don't know what's going on or what to do

[Madeleine_357]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, so when I ask what is your experience of it, I'm basically wondering how it affects the way you feel, that kind of thing (which you have already answered). Your feelings are completely valid and totally reasonable given the situation you're in. I'm wondering, would you like us to give you advice on things you could do, or are you just here to vent and let it all out, or both? It would be good to know just so we are on the same page in terms of supporting you. We want to help you in whatever way would be good for you, so just let us know. Take care. 

Well, yeah it was kinda both. Some advice would be great. :)

[Equivalent Ways]

2 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

Well I mean this has been going on for a while. He's had a lot of time to sort things out, and I've been as patient as I can be to wait for him to do something. At this point I think he's just scared to talk to me, but I don't know why. This has been going on for over 9 months now. So you can see why I'm frustrated and don't know what to do anymore.

Ah, yes yes, but is it like, your responsibility to wait for him? I can kinda tell it has been dragging on and on, but if what you are doing is not working for you, then something has to change, right..?

[Madeleine_357]

3 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Ah, yes yes, but is it like, your responsibility to wait for him? I can kinda tell it has been dragging on and on, but if what you are doing is not working for you, then something has to change, right..?

I guess you're right. But I'm also choosing to wait. I don't feel obligated. It's not working for me, but good things are worth it right? When he breaks something, he doesn't know how to fix it, so he needs to figure it out. You would have let go of him by know I'm guessing? Or would you have held on?

[Equivalent Ways]

2 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

I guess you're right. But I'm also choosing to wait. I don't feel obligated. It's not working for me, but good things are worth it right? When he breaks something, he doesn't know how to fix it, so he needs to figure it out. You would have let go of him by know I'm guessing? Or would you have held on?

Hmm, wait, what do you mean? It's good that it is a conscious choice and you don't feel obligated :)

Sometimes I actually LIKE waiting :/ but it does not sound like you are just doing that.. It sounds a bit like you are actually going nuts a bit during this 'wait' :/ So is this possibly 'good' thing, worth the 'wait'?

And I ask what you mean cuz I don't really understand the last part Like ok, I get it, It is so very human but you mean, what I would do?.. with what?

[Monsoon]

21 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

Well, yeah it was kinda both. Some advice would be great. :)

Hey there,

Sure thing. I don't think this is going to be exactly what you want to hear now, but I really do think that you both need to talk it out with each other. If that can't happen, I think that his response to your letter maybe suggests that wants to keep the relationship where it is right now. What do you think? 

[Madeleine_357]

20 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Sure thing. I don't think this is going to be exactly what you want to hear now, but I really do think that you both need to talk it out with each other. If that can't happen, I think that his response to your letter maybe suggests that wants to keep the relationship where it is right now. What do you think? 

I do think you're right and we do need to talk it out. I just don't know how to like get it started. How would I even start it off? How would I get him alone so i can talk to him? he hasn't done anything cause he doesn't like emotional talks and is scared. I don't know how I'm supposed to get him alone. Or how to even start off that conversation.

[Madeleine_357]

On 5/22/2023 at 11:49 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Hmm, wait, what do you mean? It's good that it is a conscious choice and you don't feel obligated :)

Sometimes I actually LIKE waiting :/ but it does not sound like you are just doing that.. It sounds a bit like you are actually going nuts a bit during this 'wait' :/ So is this possibly 'good' thing, worth the 'wait'?

And I ask what you mean cuz I don't really understand the last part Like ok, I get it, It is so very human but you mean, what I would do?.. with what?

Like what would you do if this was happening to you?

And I'm ok with waiting, it's the weird signals that are driving me nuts.

yesterday I'm walking down the hallway and he's LEANING AGAINST MY LOCKER. And he saw me and switched his position so his butt was on my locker and he was kinda crouched but his legs were still straight and his hands we on his knees. I looked down as I walked over and he stood up as I got closer. I wasn't looking up at him, I stood next to it and  said "excuse me" and he said "sorry" and moved and then I said "sorry." he was talking to someone but there was space between them where he could have stood, and there was room on the guys other side where he could have stood too. And e why lean on my locker in the first place? he knows it's my locker. My lockers on the end so it;s hard to miss. he sees me standing at it everyday. And why change positions when he sees me? Is he trying to get my attention? It was just weird. And my friend called it "animal instincts"  

[Equivalent Ways]

1 hour ago, Madeleine_357 said:

Like what would you do if this was happening to you?

And I'm ok with waiting, it's the weird signals that are driving me nuts.

yesterday I'm walking down the hallway and he's LEANING AGAINST MY LOCKER. And he saw me and switched his position so his butt was on my locker and he was kinda crouched but his legs were still straight and his hands we on his knees. I looked down as I walked over and he stood up as I got closer. I wasn't looking up at him, I stood next to it and  said "excuse me" and he said "sorry" and moved and then I said "sorry." he was talking to someone but there was space between them where he could have stood, and there was room on the guys other side where he could have stood too. And e why lean on my locker in the first place? he knows it's my locker. My lockers on the end so it;s hard to miss. he sees me standing at it everyday. And why change positions when he sees me? Is he trying to get my attention? It was just weird. And my friend called it "animal instincts"  

Dudeeeee, alright lol, that makes sense. Ya the waiting is fine with me but yes it is also accompanied by odd actions  

and you see, I had a locker that I would visit multiple times everyday at school for a couple years, so I get it lol. Ppl can def tell it’s yours. Hehe, I kinda like your friend

hmmm, idk I bet something in his mind makes sense to him… but it is not making sense from the outside and is appearing very awakard. 
like o said I still don’t really know the situation, but I might do a couple things I guess.

I could picture myself starting to return weird actions, and just acting weird back lol (I do not necessarily suggest this one lol unless you are feeling really bold/strong(?))

I also sometimes just act real calm or ig like while he was at the locker then, what would have happened if you said, hey I’m sorry for interrupting but hey XX can I borrow you for just a minute please?

like, would that get you anywhere?

[Monsoon]

5 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

I do think you're right and we do need to talk it out. I just don't know how to like get it started. How would I even start it off? How would I get him alone so i can talk to him? he hasn't done anything cause he doesn't like emotional talks and is scared. I don't know how I'm supposed to get him alone. Or how to even start off that conversation.

Hey there,

I think that you need to be pretty clear with him and say that you want to meet alone and talk things through. I think he might avoid it otherwise. From what you've said, it sounds like you have to be pretty direct with this guy really. What do you think?

[Madeleine_357]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I think that you need to be pretty clear with him and say that you want to meet alone and talk things through. I think he might avoid it otherwise. From what you've said, it sounds like you have to be pretty direct with this guy really. What do you think?

I do think I need to talk to him.  And I think you're right and being clear with him would be good. I just need to muster some courage.

[Madeleine_357]

9 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Dudeeeee, alright lol, that makes sense. Ya the waiting is fine with me but yes it is also accompanied by odd actions  

and you see, I had a locker that I would visit multiple times everyday at school for a couple years, so I get it lol. Ppl can def tell it’s yours. Hehe, I kinda like your friend

hmmm, idk I bet something in his mind makes sense to him… but it is not making sense from the outside and is appearing very awakard. 
like o said I still don’t really know the situation, but I might do a couple things I guess.

I could picture myself starting to return weird actions, and just acting weird back lol (I do not necessarily suggest this one lol unless you are feeling really bold/strong(?))

I also sometimes just act real calm or ig like while he was at the locker then, what would have happened if you said, hey I’m sorry for interrupting but hey XX can I borrow you for just a minute please?

like, would that get you anywhere?

Well then doing that, then I'd be stuck having to pry information out of him in the middle of school and class was about to start so we would have had barely any time and where would we even go? I couldn't have asked to talk right then. And I just overall think talking during school hours is not the best plan incase it gets a little more emotional then we plan and people are watching and that kind of thing. Even if we went to the park behind the school, it's a public place and there would be people as well as students there. My only option really is to talk after school. 

And what I meant is like would you have given up or would you still be holding on like me if you were in my situation?

[Equivalent Ways]

1 minute ago, Madeleine_357 said:

Well then doing that, then I'd be stuck having to pry information out of him in the middle of school and class was about to start so we would have had barely any time and where would we even go? I couldn't have asked to talk right then. And I just overall think talking during school hours is not the best plan incase it gets a little more emotional then we plan and people are watching and that kind of thing. Even if we went to the park behind the school, it's a public place and there would be people as well as students there. My only option really is to talk after school. 

And what I meant is like would you have given up or would you still be holding on like me if you were in my situation?

Hmm, ok so we decided(???) that it would be good to talk as you discussed with Monsoon. And gaining that courage is really hard.. and I think making a plan would help! If you want, so then, what would be the ideal place and time aside from school then? And like the talk does not have to be a big deal (does it?) so chill vibes I would hope..?

hmm, it depends on so many circumstances for me, I don’t want to let go of something valuable, but I can’t stay hangin onto something that is draining me of mind space ig

[Madeleine_357]

5 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Hmm, ok so we decided(???) that it would be good to talk as you discussed with Monsoon. And gaining that courage is really hard.. and I think making a plan would help! If you want, so then, what would be the ideal place and time aside from school then? And like the talk does not have to be a big deal (does it?) so chill vibes I would hope..?

hmm, it depends on so many circumstances for me, I don’t want to let go of something valuable, but I can’t stay hangin onto something that is draining me of mind space ig

I honestly don't know the ideal place and time. I can't think of anywhere to talk off the top of my head. And I'm scared just thinking about it, honestly,

yeah circumstances. Both those make sense. It's the same for me basically, and I'm torn.

[Equivalent Ways]

2 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

I honestly don't know the ideal place and time. I can't think of anywhere to talk off the top of my head. And I'm scared just thinking about it, honestly,

yeah circumstances. Both those make sense. It's the same for me basically, and I'm torn.

Hmm, I like quoting song lyrics a lot, so go listen to healthy by CAROLINE lol

'There’s way too much confusion here..There’s more to love than hope and fear'

Being torn (if you think of it kinda literally in this case) really does suck. I guess the options I see are smth like: You might just need to make something work as a talk time and place, you can continue the way things are going and see where it goes, or you can differ your behavior (punch him, ignore him, kiss him, idk something erratic)

Idk does that sound about correct? Are there any other options for you

Don't worry btw, you will prevail

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

I do think I need to talk to him.  And I think you're right and being clear with him would be good. I just need to muster some courage.

Hey there,

Yeah, I think it's the best way forward really and you can do it :)

It might be helpful to set yourself a date to have done it by, or at least asked to have that chat by. What do you think?

[Madeleine_357]

9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I think it's the best way forward really and you can do it :)

It might be helpful to set yourself a date to have done it by, or at least asked to have that chat by. What do you think?

That date would be today. I told my grade 8 friend everything that happened cause I should have told her much sooner and she texted him and asked if he wanted to hang out and he said he couldn't but he'd stop by on his way home. So she told him he was at my house and I got called inside for dinner and asked them to ring the doorbell when he came. I was eating when they rang the doorbell. I sped ate and was shaking when I looked outside and he was there. I was shaking when i was tying my shoes. I took a few seconds to take some deep breaths and walked outside. It was awkward at first. It was me, my grade 8 friend and my bestie there. We were just talking and slowly it kinda melted away, but it wasn't enough to completely hide something was going on with us. he kept fidgeting with his skateboard. He looked nervous and slightly awkward but he seemed happy we were talking to him. My grade 8 friend had to leave eventaully so after that he stayed for a few minutes and then left.

On another note, I was waiting for the bus to go home with my bestie, (same girl as in above story) and he was with his brother. I heard his brother say "just go say hi!" They both kept looking at me. On the bus they were talking together and his brother seemed to be like telling him some important advice. Ya know how you can like tell when someone is being given important advice? yeah. When we were walking on the street, I heard his brother say, very loudly, "you can't make this sh*t up!" something else I can't remember and then "You literally said she's in one of your f*cking classes!" And he kept telling him to be quiet and shut up. It was really only me, him and his brother on the street. He was talking with his brother about me. And by the tone of his brothers voice I could tell it wasn't the first time they'd talked about this or had this conversation. It was like his brother had been telling him the same thing over and over. This means he's been talking to his brother about our issues. This means he knows somethings up. this means he does want something from me, I just don't know what it is.

My grade 8 friend thinks he likes me.

[Madeleine_357]

21 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Hmm, I like quoting song lyrics a lot, so go listen to healthy by CAROLINE lol

'There’s way too much confusion here..There’s more to love than hope and fear'

Being torn (if you think of it kinda literally in this case) really does suck. I guess the options I see are smth like: You might just need to make something work as a talk time and place, you can continue the way things are going and see where it goes, or you can differ your behavior (punch him, ignore him, kiss him, idk something erratic)

Idk does that sound about correct? Are there any other options for you

Don't worry btw, you will prevail

Thanks. :) Some other big stuff happened today.

 

 I told my grade 8 friend everything that happened cause I should have told her much sooner and she texted him and asked if he wanted to hang out and he said he couldn't but he'd stop by on his way home. So she told him he was at my house and I got called inside for dinner and asked them to ring the doorbell when he came. I was eating when they rang the doorbell. I sped ate and was shaking when I looked outside and he was there. I was shaking when i was tying my shoes. I took a few seconds to take some deep breaths and walked outside. It was awkward at first. It was me, my grade 8 friend and my bestie there. We were just talking and slowly it kinda melted away, but it wasn't enough to completely hide something was going on with us. he kept fidgeting with his skateboard. He looked nervous and slightly awkward but he seemed happy we were talking to him. My grade 8 friend had to leave eventaully so after that he stayed for a few minutes and then left.

On another note, I was waiting for the bus to go home with my bestie, (same girl as in above story) and he was with his brother. I heard his brother say "just go say hi!" They both kept looking at me. On the bus they were talking together and his brother seemed to be like telling him some important advice. Ya know how you can like tell when someone is being given important advice? yeah. When we were walking on the street, I heard his brother say, very loudly, "you can't make this sh*t up!" something else I can't remember and then "You literally said she's in one of your f*cking classes!" And he kept telling him to be quiet and shut up. It was really only me, him and his brother on the street. He was talking with his brother about me. And by the tone of his brothers voice I could tell it wasn't the first time they'd talked about this or had this conversation. It was like his brother had been telling him the same thing over and over. This means he's been talking to his brother about our issues. This means he knows somethings up. this means he does want something from me, I just don't know what it is.

My grade 8 friend thinks he likes me.

 

[Madeleine_357]

21 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Hmm, I like quoting song lyrics a lot, so go listen to healthy by CAROLINE lol

'There’s way too much confusion here..There’s more to love than hope and fear'

Being torn (if you think of it kinda literally in this case) really does suck. I guess the options I see are smth like: You might just need to make something work as a talk time and place, you can continue the way things are going and see where it goes, or you can differ your behavior (punch him, ignore him, kiss him, idk something erratic)

Idk does that sound about correct? Are there any other options for you

Don't worry btw, you will prevail

KISS HIM? WHAT

[welches_242]

6 minutes ago, Madeleine_357 said:

KISS HIM? WHAT

I feel like I should've checked this thread out sooner, lol. I'm not reading through all 703 replies rn but that was extremely unexpected, lol. But I'll take the idea. We're finally getting somewhere! *insert celebration emojis*

[Madeleine_357]

12 minutes ago, welches_242 said:

I feel like I should've checked this thread out sooner, lol. I'm not reading through all 703 replies rn but that was extremely unexpected, lol. But I'll take the idea. We're finally getting somewhere! *insert celebration emojis*

I responded with what happened today it just needs to be approved 

[Equivalent Ways]

You know Madeleine, that is actually starting to remind me of someone I know. He (my dude) is very energetic/ also kinda depressed at the same time lol He will just look like he wants to say something to me, but also not at the same time, and if he does its simply a quiet, "hi XX" -_- bruh needs to step it up yo, but eh I just let me do his things I guess.

omg and the brother lol, well it sounds like there is not too much bad blood :)

[Equivalent Ways]

 

You know Madeleine, that is actually starting to remind me of someone I know. He (my dude) is very energetic/ also kinda depressed at the same time lol He will just look like he wants to say something to me, but also not at the same time, and if he does its simply a quiet, "hi XX" -_- bruh needs to step it up yo, but eh I just let me do his things I guess.

omg and the brother lol, well it sounds like there is not too much bad bl00d :)

 

[Equivalent Ways]

Lol I posted but it needs mods

[Madeleine_357]

7 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

You know Madeleine, that is actually starting to remind me of someone I know. He (my dude) is very energetic/ also kinda depressed at the same time lol He will just look like he wants to say something to me, but also not at the same time, and if he does its simply a quiet, "hi XX" -_- bruh needs to step it up yo, but eh I just let me do his things I guess.

omg and the brother lol, well it sounds like there is not too much bad blood :)

mhm it definitely means something

[Madeleine_357]

10 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Lol I posted but it needs mods

it means he's been talking to his brother about it a lot :D