Me, Myself, and I

[Monsoon]

1 hour ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Well it’s a once again, not a what they tell me what to do, but a what we decide to do linda thing and we decide everything that any wine has to decide on a normal basis ya know? Everything from what we should eat to wether we should kill ourselves or not. We decided not btw

Hey there,

It sounds like there is a real mix in terms of what they say to you, some things good, and then some things quite dangerous as well. I'm wondering, when they were telling you to kill yourself, how did you cope with that? What did you do to stop yourself from doing it? 

[sflowergirl]

Hey! I am here if anyone needs to talk!

[Equivalent Ways]

42 minutes ago, sflowergirl said:

Hey! I am here if anyone needs to talk!

Thank sunflower(sflower?) that is really nice. Know that it is the same said from over here

[sflowergirl]

3 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Thank sunflower(sflower?) that is really nice. Know that it is the same said from over here

My real names Sofia lol its Sflowergirl but u can call me me sfg of sofia if u perfer :)

thx nice to meet u!

[Equivalent Ways]

3 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like there is a real mix in terms of what they say to you, some things good, and then some things quite dangerous as well. I'm wondering, when they were telling you to kill yourself, how did you cope with that? What did you do to stop yourself from doing it? 

Well, when we were debating such, it was a very depressing time. But we decided to tell my ma, and in doing that sealing the deal that we weren’t gonna do that then. All these things are a lengthy discussion in my head and how we/I  think through things. When I told people before they were all like, oh so they are evil and told you to k!ll yourself?? And it is really not like that -_-;

It was really hard to cope and it is hard to tell looking back why I wanted to stay..but I wanted to stay for family, I did not want to hurt them, and that overpowered me not wanting to feel constant hurt myself, if that makes sense. Now we have some better stuff worked out, like less pain all around is the goal :)

[sflowergirl]

13 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Well, when we were debating such, it was a very depressing time. But we decided to tell my ma, and in doing that sealing the deal that we weren’t gonna do that then. All these things are a lengthy discussion in my head and how we/I  think through things. When I told people before they were all like, oh so they are evil and told you to k!ll yourself?? And it is really not like that -_-;

It was really hard to cope and it is hard to tell looking back why I wanted to stay..but I wanted to stay for family, I did not want to hurt them, and that overpowered me not wanting to feel constant hurt myself, if that makes sense. Now we have some better stuff worked out, like less pain all around is the goal :)

Is everything ok and what happend?? if u dont mind me asking

Edited March 15, 2023 by sflowergirl

[Monsoon]

1 hour ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Well, when we were debating such, it was a very depressing time. But we decided to tell my ma, and in doing that sealing the deal that we weren’t gonna do that then. All these things are a lengthy discussion in my head and how we/I  think through things. When I told people before they were all like, oh so they are evil and told you to k!ll yourself?? And it is really not like that -_-;

It was really hard to cope and it is hard to tell looking back why I wanted to stay..but I wanted to stay for family, I did not want to hurt them, and that overpowered me not wanting to feel constant hurt myself, if that makes sense. Now we have some better stuff worked out, like less pain all around is the goal :)

Hey there,

I'm glad that you told your ma; how did she help you in the end? It's great that you were able to open up to her so you could then stay safe. I'm wondering, how has your mental health been since? Have you had more thoughts and feelings like this?

[Equivalent Ways]

49 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm glad that you told your ma; how did she help you in the end? It's great that you were able to open up to her so you could then stay safe. I'm wondering, how has your mental health been since? Have you had more thoughts and feelings like this?

i am also glad I told my mom :) she definitely did in the end, she knew I had been acting weird but said she had NO CLUE what was actually going on, which kinda makes me pissed off but i get it My mental health has been up and down since then, but to this day that was the closest I had ever been to killing myself. I have definitely had more thoughts of such, but it is just different now. i still want to live and in a good mood you hear me say, I am here with a purpose or smth, and in a bad mood i am like, this is too much pain and I want to leave

so yaaaa

But I keep my reasons to stay alive VERY close to my heart, I am not willing to die due to society(not literal dying, but just loosing humanity and soul) and that is a very amazing quest for me. How do i live while still staying true to myself?

Always question, always wonder :)

[Monsoon]

18 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

i am also glad I told my mom :) she definitely did in the end, she knew I had been acting weird but said she had NO CLUE what was actually going on, which kinda makes me pissed off but i get it My mental health has been up and down since then, but to this day that was the closest I had ever been to killing myself. I have definitely had more thoughts of such, but it is just different now. i still want to live and in a good mood you hear me say, I am here with a purpose or smth, and in a bad mood i am like, this is too much pain and I want to leave

so yaaaa

But I keep my reasons to stay alive VERY close to my heart, I am not willing to die due to society(not literal dying, but just loosing humanity and soul) and that is a very amazing quest for me. How do i live while still staying true to myself?

Always question, always wonder :)

Hey there,

I am glad to hear that you have reasons to stay alive and that they are very close to your heart - when people are in a difficult place emotionally, it can all become quite overwhelming, but in those moments, it can be really helpful to connect with the reasons why you want to live, so that's good to hear :)

I'm wondering, have you ever filled out a safety plan? It's something that you can follow which has loads of different courses of action to take if you start to feel suicidal again, and it will help you to keep safe.

[Equivalent Ways]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I am glad to hear that you have reasons to stay alive and that they are very close to your heart - when people are in a difficult place emotionally, it can all become quite overwhelming, but in those moments, it can be really helpful to connect with the reasons why you want to live, so that's good to hear :)

I'm wondering, have you ever filled out a safety plan? It's something that you can follow which has loads of different courses of action to take if you start to feel suicidal again, and it will help you to keep safe.

Hey Monsoon, not officially :) however I have done research and made many notes and plans and letters on what to do when/if that time happens again. I prioritize and even signed my own official document that I will stand on behalf of my own safety, so I appreciate that you understand enough to suggest options.

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I'm really glad to hear that, and it sounds like you're more than prepared if you get that feeling again. I'm just thinking, are you getting any support from a counsellor or a therapist at the moment?

[Equivalent Ways]

9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm really glad to hear that, and it sounds like you're more than prepared if you get that feeling again. I'm just thinking, are you getting any support from a counsellor or a therapist at the moment?

HAha, I like to think I am prepared :) And I try my best

short answer, no. Long answer, I am getting support. My therapist ended up being the opposite of supportive, and my mom understood that too. Its unfortunate, but luckily I found DTL, and I have friends and family that are very supportive in my healing

[Monsoon]

12 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

HAha, I like to think I am prepared :) And I try my best

short answer, no. Long answer, I am getting support. My therapist ended up being the opposite of supportive, and my mom understood that too. Its unfortunate, but luckily I found DTL, and I have friends and family that are very supportive in my healing

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear you have a lot of support around you, and we are always here for you too :)

Do you you think you'll end up getting a new therapist at some point? 

[Equivalent Ways]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm glad to hear you have a lot of support around you, and we are always here for you too :)

Do you you think you'll end up getting a new therapist at some point? 

Hello, and thank you Yes i would kinda like to get another therapist, at the same time it is not a rush though because i do feel I am doing ok or even good in my little circle. It is just intimidating especially after my previous therapists

[Monsoon]

On 3/18/2023 at 5:02 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Hello, and thank you Yes i would kinda like to get another therapist, at the same time it is not a rush though because i do feel I am doing ok or even good in my little circle. It is just intimidating especially after my previous therapists

Hey there,

Yeah, I get why you'd be feeling intimidated, that makes sense. The most important thing is to make sure you are safe, and I am believe that you know what to do if you experience a crisis again, and that is reach out to someone who can help you immediately, which you've done anyway, so that's great. I'm wondering, would you like anymore support from us now, or are you okay?

[Equivalent Ways]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Yeah, I get why you'd be feeling intimidated, that makes sense. The most important thing is to make sure you are safe, and I am believe that you know what to do if you experience a crisis again, and that is reach out to someone who can help you immediately, which you've done anyway, so that's great. I'm wondering, would you like anymore support from us now, or are you okay?

I sincerely appreciate all the help you have given me. I will still be floating around, and ask help if i need anything... But i guess I can say that I am ok right now...? Hah, I feel nervous just saying that but ye I think I'm ok The fact that you understand and think I am doing a good job, means a weird lot to me. Thank you, and I will be around :)

[Monsoon]

No worries. Good luck with it all, and remember, we are here if you need us :) 

[Olivia05]

Hey @Equivalent Ways, I’m Emerrson but you can call me Emmy. If you ever need to talk to someone I’m here

[Equivalent Ways]

2 hours ago, Emmerson said:

Hey @Equivalent Ways, I’m Emerrson but you can call me Emmy. If you ever need to talk to someone I’m here

Heyy @Emmerson! It’s nice to officially meet you :) you have made my make-a-story thread really fun btw and thanks, know it’s the same from this end

[Olivia05]

Ofc anytime!

[Equivalent Ways]

Just me, myself, and I....

Sometimes I think about how it is/can be really hard to hear about other people's situations, and it can drive me kinda crazy. So I just try to put up boundaries.... but I say this because i wanted to tag some @Digital Mentor @Monsoon@Luie@Catsup mentors because you all deal with this a lot, in fact it is your job to assess these situations, (yes I know it is not mine lol) but i was just curious if yall had any tips on how to respectfully deal with, support the person, and continue on your personal way without getting all worked up and stuff, if that makes sense..

[Catsup]

14 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Just me, myself, and I....

Sometimes I think about how it is/can be really hard to hear about other people's situations, and it can drive me kinda crazy. So I just try to put up boundaries.... but I say this because i wanted to tag some @Digital Mentor @Monsoon@Luie@Catsup mentors because you all deal with this a lot, in fact it is your job to assess these situations, (yes I know it is not mine lol) but i was just curious if yall had any tips on how to respectfully deal with, support the person, and continue on your personal way without getting all worked up and stuff, if that makes sense..

Hey, good question! Since to have empathy, you have to imagine the person's situation and feelings, it might be hard to "unplug" from that afterwards.   I would recommend for the "unplugging" part, truly trying to separate yourself from that situation after you are done with it.  So if you just had a very heavy conversation, doing something relaxing afterwards like meditating or drinking tea (one of my favorite strategies) can help.

Also noticing when you're getting worked up is useful.  Hopefully you can step away from certain topics if you find them especially triggering for your mental health.  It is okay to respectfully step away from situations when you feel they are affecting you very negatively, since sometimes you have to take care of you before you can effectively help others. 

 

[Equivalent Ways]

On 3/26/2023 at 3:10 PM, Catsup said:

Hey, good question! Since to have empathy, you have to imagine the person's situation and feelings, it might be hard to "unplug" from that afterwards.   I would recommend for the "unplugging" part, truly trying to separate yourself from that situation after you are done with it.  So if you just had a very heavy conversation, doing something relaxing afterwards like meditating or drinking tea (one of my favorite strategies) can help.

Also noticing when you're getting worked up is useful.  Hopefully you can step away from certain topics if you find them especially triggering for your mental health.  It is okay to respectfully step away from situations when you feel they are affecting you very negatively, since sometimes you have to take care of you before you can effectively help others. 

Thank you I feel like that is really well said as someone else who is an empath. I will also take those tips into account :D and you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help other ppl ;) thanks again