Someone online has my address + photos off me in lingerie

[Norin]

Hey guys,

 

I’m 20 years old and i have a huge problem.

Yesterday online someone contacted me with pictures off myself in lingerie (I don’t know this person).

The person also did find out my address where i live duo the app we talked to.

He said to me that if i don’t gonna be his slave, he would come to visit my house and neighbors.

and that my parents would really like to see me in lingerie.

I told the person that i didn’t live there (but i really do live there) and that it was a waist off time for him.

After that i blocked the person.

But sinds then i can’t live normal anymore, i have constantly the feeling of anxiety, i can’t eat, drink, or be happy anymore.

WHAT CAN I DO?

The only thing i can think about is that there is a person online that has photo’s off me + my adres.

I’m helpless and really need help.

Did anyone else ever experience this situation?

Please let me know..

[Aurora]

6 hours ago, Norin said:

Hey guys,

I’m 20 years old and i have a huge problem.

Yesterday online someone contacted me with pictures off myself in lingerie (I don’t know this person).

The person also did find out my address where i live duo the app we talked to.

He said to me that if i don’t gonna be his slave, he would come to visit my house and neighbors.

and that my parents would really like to see me in lingerie.

I told the person that i didn’t live there (but i really do live there) and that it was a waist off time for him.

After that i blocked the person.

But sinds then i can’t live normal anymore, i have constantly the feeling of anxiety, i can’t eat, drink, or be happy anymore.

WHAT CAN I DO?

The only thing i can think about is that there is a person online that has photo’s off me + my adres.

I’m helpless and really need help.

Did anyone else ever experience this situation?

Please let me know..

 

Hi Norin, welcome to the community and thank you for sharing what's been going on for you. I'm Aurora and I am one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I give support and advice to those who reach out to us.

I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened to you but I'm glad you found us and we can help you through this. I can imagine this is very stressful for you and I can understand why you are feeling worried. 

Do you know how the person got your photos? You mentioned that you don't know them so I was just wondering if you'd shared your photos with them or if they got them from someone else. Also, do you mind me asking, what app you were using? 

You have definitely done the right thing by blocking them. Like this they will know that you will not give into their demands and they will most likely move on. I would also suggest that you make all your social media accounts private if they are not already. If they know your real name, take this out of any social media usernames. You could also try to find their account on other social media platforms and block them there. 

Also, as they have threatened you and seem to know where you live, I think it would be a good idea to report this to the police. What do you think? 

Finally I just wanted to ask you if you have told anyone eg a friend or a family member what happened? It's horrible when something like this happens to us and it can help to talk it through with someone. Please know that we are here for you!

 

 

[Norin]

1 minute ago, Aurora said:

Hi Norin, welcome to the community and thank you for sharing what's been going on for you. I'm Aurora and I am one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I give support and advice to those who reach out to us.

I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened to you but I'm glad you found us and we can help you through this. I can imagine this is very stressful for you and I can understand why you are feeling worried. 

Do you know how the person got your photos? You mentioned that you don't know them so I was just wondering if you'd shared your photos with them or if they got them from someone else. Also, do you mind me asking, what app you were using? 

You have definitely done the right thing by blocking them. Like this they will know that you will not give into their demands and they will most likely move on. I would also suggest that you make all your social media accounts private if they are not already. If they know your real name, take this out of any social media usernames. You could also try to find their account on other social media platforms and block them there. 

Also, as they have threatened you and seem to know where you live, I think it would be a good idea to report this to the police. What do you think? 

Finally I just wanted to ask you if you have told anyone eg a friend or a family member what happened? It's horrible when something like this happens to us and it can help to talk it through with someone. Please know that we are here for you!

Hey Aurora,

Thanks you for your answer, i didn’t know this person and it happend on Kik application. 

My social media accounts are all private, and the person doesn’t know my name. I really don’t wanna go to the police or my parents. It’s feel so humilated. 

I removed my entire account on Kik + linked email to account. 
The only thing i know is that the person doesn’t live in the same country as myself. 
But he can put it online everywhere, so far i can’t find anything and this happend on saturday evening

But he told me he will visit me on Monday, and that’s today. I’m so so so scared ;(

[Aurora]

17 minutes ago, Norin said:

Hey Aurora,

Thanks you for your answer, i didn’t know this person and it happend on Kik application. 

My social media accounts are all private, and the person doesn’t know my name. I really don’t wanna go to the police or my parents. It’s feel so humilated. 

I removed my entire account on Kik + linked email to account. 
The only thing i know is that the person doesn’t live in the same country as myself. 
But he can put it online everywhere, so far i can’t find anything and this happend on saturday evening

But he told me he will visit me on Monday, and that’s today. I’m so so so scared ;(

Hi Norin, thank you for letting me know that they said they would visit you today. Do you mind me asking, if you live on your own or with someone? Even though it is unlikely that they will visit you (especially if they are based in a different country) I would still urge you to report this to the police. Your safety is the most important thing and if they do have your address then there is a risk to your safety here. The police can best advise you what steps to take to make sure you are safe. As you are over 18 it is unlikely that the police would tell your parents so you wouldn't have to worry about them finding out if you don't want them to. What do you think? 

Also, I wanted to reassure you that none of this is your fault and you have nothing to feel ashamed of! We are here for you!

[Norin]

I live with my parents, so i’m not alone.

Deeply inside my thoughts i also think the person doesn’t show up. That will be also risky for him.

But it’s just the thoughts that someone knows this and maybe share on internet?

I don’t wanna be exposed to all my friends or family in my lingerie. 

[Aurora]

26 minutes ago, Norin said:

I live with my parents, so i’m not alone.

Deeply inside my thoughts i also think the person doesn’t show up. That will be also risky for him.

But it’s just the thoughts that someone knows this and maybe share on internet?

I don’t wanna be exposed to all my friends or family in my lingerie. 

Of course. I understand that. Do you mind me asking, did you share the photos with the person or did they get them from someone else? Don't feel you have to answer the question. I'm just asking, because it might help me support you better. Also, have you contacted Kik directly and told them what happened? They might be able to have the account of the other person with all the photos removed for you. 

[Norin]

Hey Aurora,

My pics where online on a site, where i posted myself but without any face or really dangerous things to see.

The pics i posted there are also gone, but the person were i talked to contacted me on kik and we started chatting. En he asked me to take new picture of myself in lingerie but with my face on it, so stupid off myself to really send that to him.

After that he did know my adress, and started to talking to be his “property” & “slave” otherwise he would visiting my house on monday, and that my parents really like to see me in lingerie.

After that i immediately blocked the person & removed everything.

After 3 days still nobody has come to my house. And the person probably is busy making new victims.

I hope i will be good, but still have a lot of anxiety in my head.. and don’t really know how to deal with this.

Edited February 13, 2023 by Norin

[Catsup]

2 hours ago, Norin said:

Hey Aurora,

My pics where online on a site, where i posted myself but without any face or really dangerous things to see.

The pics i posted there are also gone, but the person were i talked to contacted me on kik and we started chatting. En he asked me to take new picture of myself in lingerie but with my face on it, so stupid off myself to really send that to him.

After that he did know my adress, and started to talking to be his “property” & “slave” otherwise he would visiting my house on monday, and that my parents really like to see me in lingerie.

After that i immediately blocked the person & removed everything.

After 3 days still nobody has come to my house. And the person probably is busy making new victims.

I hope i will be good, but still have a lot of anxiety in my head.. and don’t really know how to deal with this.

Hi, I'm Catsup, one of the support mentors here and I hope you do not mind me joining this conversation!  I want to provide some encouraging words since I know this has been a stressful time for you.  I  would agree with you and Aurora that it is unlikely this person visits you.  However, I would also encourage you to go to the police if you are worried for you safety even if you are feeling embarrassed about the situation, but that is your choice to make.

Can I ask how your day has been going?  Are there any updates and how are you managing with the anxiety?

[Norin]

Hey,

Yesterday was not a great day for me :/

This was because the person said to me he will visit my house on Monday, so that was really, really stressful and i had a lot off anxiety all day.

I’m still scared now, and can’t get the feeling out off my head. Eating & drinking is still hard for me..

On Sunday my mother noticed that my behavior was strange and asked me what the problem was.

I almost cried instantly and talked about my problem to her, but i just told her that everything was fine..

I feel to much shame & pain to really talk about this.

So far i also cannot find my pictures somewhere online, and i think the person also is not gonna do it anymore because it’s 3 days ago. And he is probably busy with other victims. 

Time will heal people say, but i need a lot off time for this. 

Any advice is welcome.

[Aurora]

13 hours ago, Norin said:

Hey Aurora,

My pics where online on a site, where i posted myself but without any face or really dangerous things to see.

The pics i posted there are also gone, but the person were i talked to contacted me on kik and we started chatting. En he asked me to take new picture of myself in lingerie but with my face on it, so stupid off myself to really send that to him.

After that he did know my adress, and started to talking to be his “property” & “slave” otherwise he would visiting my house on monday, and that my parents really like to see me in lingerie.

After that i immediately blocked the person & removed everything.

After 3 days still nobody has come to my house. And the person probably is busy making new victims.

I hope i will be good, but still have a lot of anxiety in my head.. and don’t really know how to deal with this.

Hey @Norin, thanks so much for explaining a bit more what happened. I know it can be difficult to talk about. It does sound like they have probably moved on to the next person. Have you thought about reporting them to Kik? 

I wanted to reassure you that you did nothing wrong! You were having fun online and that's a perfectly normal thing to do. What's not OK is that the other person broke your trust. And I'm really sorry this happened to you! When something like this happens it can often take time to process and it's very common to feel anxious and ashamed afterwards . Please know that there is nothing to feel ashamed of. If you can, try and be kind to yourself right now and remind yourself that you did not deserve any of this. From experience the worries you're experiencing will become less and less over time. 

I noticed that you mentioned that you nearly told your mother, when she asked you what was going on. I'm just wondering, what do you think the worst and the best outcome would be if you did tell your mother? 

Please know that we are here for you

[Norin]

Hey @Aurora,

 

Thank you again for understanding.

My English is not that great, i try hard to do my best.

Online i also talk with people about this topic on sites that are made for this kind of problems, that helps a lot.

I have the feeling that the whole world has seen me in my lingerie and will come to my house for more.

And that feeling is really scary for me, i think i will never make a picture again off myself.

My mother will be really angry if im gonna talk to her about this problem, because she always tell me to do nothing stupid online, specially if you are a girl.

So i don’t know if she even gonna understand me. 
But i really hope that she is not gonna be mad at me and will help me, that will be the best outcome.

With my father i don’t have contact anymore, so that’s make the situation not better. My father understooded me way more then my mother, but we don’t have contact anymore since 4 years. 

I try to think about positive things, yesterday & today i didn’t have the energy to go to school and be happy or productive during classes.

But i will try tomorrow to go to school, maybe that’s also good for me, what do you think?

Thank you again for your time, it makes me feel im not alone fighting this battle. 

 

 

Edited February 14, 2023 by Norin

[Aurora]

35 minutes ago, Norin said:

Hey @Aurora,

Thank you again for understanding.

My English is not that great, i try hard to do my best.

Online i also talk with people about this topic on sites that are made for this kind of problems, that helps a lot.

I have the feeling that the whole world has seen me in my lingerie and will come to my house for more.

And that feeling is really scary for me, i think i will never make a picture again off myself.

My mother will be really angry if im gonna talk to her about this problem, because she always tell me to do nothing stupid online, specially if you are a girl.

So i don’t know if she even gonna understand me. 
But i really hope that she is not gonna be mad at me and will help me, that will be the best outcome.

With my father i don’t have contact anymore, so that’s make the situation not better. My father understooded me way more then my mother, but we don’t have contact anymore since 4 years. 

I try to think about positive things, yesterday & today i didn’t have the energy to go to school and be happy or productive during classes.

But i will try tomorrow to go to school, maybe that’s also good for me, what do you think?

Thank you again for your time, it makes me feel im not alone fighting this battle. 

Of course. Please know that we are here for you and you are not alone! Your English is very good by the way . Although I can imagine it must be difficult talking this through, without using your first language . So hat's off to you!! 

I can understand why you didn't have the energy or motivation to go to school yesterday. Sometimes we need the space and time to think things through and process what's been going on. I think it might help though if you do go back to school tomorrow. It will probably distract you from what's going on at the moment and help you to focus on other things again. When something like this happens, we can be so worried by it all that we are constantly thinking about it. Doing other stuff can help us take our mind off it. And you will probably find that with time you will think and worry about it less and less. What do you think? 

Thank you for sharing what the worst and the best outcome would be. Often the reality is somewhere in between. How do you feel about talking to your mother now? Do you think it's an option? 

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't had any contact with your father for 4 years now. I can imagine that must be difficult for you. Especially if he understood you better. Would you like to tell me a bit more about what happened? Please don't feel you have to. This is a safe space and it is completely up to you to decide, what you would like to talk about  

[Norin]

 

Hey,

Yes i think i will go to school tomorrow, my friends are also there. Maybe that will help.

At home the only thing i can think about is what happend to me & the anxiety off it. 
 

I don’t think i wanna talk to my mother at this moment, she is even not home now, but working. 
Maybe in a few weeks i will feel safer to talk about this.

But it’s  really scary & shameful, especially because i already said my mother mentioned many times to do nothing stupid online like sending nudes to random persons. And that’s exactly what i did :/

With the problems / situation between my father & mother i also don’t really know, they never told me anything. They don’t have talked or seen each other since i was a child. Because they had many problems with each other. The only thing i know is that my father didn’t wanna have any contact anymore. That’s what my mother told me.

And i also don’t really wanna think / talk about it right now.. i have enough things on my mind right now.

 

[Aurora]

20 hours ago, Norin said:

Hey,

Yes i think i will go to school tomorrow, my friends are also there. Maybe that will help.

At home the only thing i can think about is what happend to me & the anxiety off it. 
 

I don’t think i wanna talk to my mother at this moment, she is even not home now, but working. 
Maybe in a few weeks i will feel safer to talk about this.

But it’s  really scary & shameful, especially because i already said my mother mentioned many times to do nothing stupid online like sending nudes to random persons. And that’s exactly what i did :/

With the problems / situation between my father & mother i also don’t really know, they never told me anything. They don’t have talked or seen each other since i was a child. Because they had many problems with each other. The only thing i know is that my father didn’t wanna have any contact anymore. That’s what my mother told me.

And i also don’t really wanna think / talk about it right now.. i have enough things on my mind right now.

Of course, I totally understand. I saw that you sent us a message via confidential support. I will reply to you there 

[Norin]

 

Thank you, i see it.

 

Edited February 15, 2023 by Norin