Bullying

[Treacle 246]

On 6/7/2024 at 12:08 PM, Aurora said:

It's natural to feel nervous about talking to her. Have you met her before or will this be the first time?

If the other welfare manager asks you what the memories are about and you don't feel comfortable to tell her, that's absolutely fine. You should feel no pressure to tell. Maybe you can say something like 'I don't feel ready to talk about it'. The welfare manager can still be there for you, without knowing any of the details. How does that sound? 

Yes I have met her before.

I couldn't tell my welfare manager I tried but the memories just kept coming up constantly and it caused me to have a breakdown infront of her I decided to give her my phone which had the bad memories on she read it and told me to show my counsellor when I see her and to keep talking to her aswell 

[Aurora]

14 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yes I have met her before.

I couldn't tell my welfare manager I tried but the memories just kept coming up constantly and it caused me to have a breakdown infront of her I decided to give her my phone which had the bad memories on she read it and told me to show my counsellor when I see her and to keep talking to her aswell 

Hi @Treacle 246, how are feeling today? Don't worry if you couldn't tell your welfare manager. It sounds like you found a different way to tell her, by showing her your phone. That's really good. Did you feel a bit better after speaking to her? 

I'm glad to hear you have met the counsellor before. Is it the same one you used to see a little while back? I can remember you really liked your counsellor and you said that you felt safe with her.  Have you already seen her this week or is your session still  coming up? 

[Treacle 246]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Hi @Treacle 246, how are feeling today? Don't worry if you couldn't tell your welfare manager. It sounds like you found a different way to tell her, by showing her your phone. That's really good. Did you feel a bit better after speaking to her? 

I'm glad to hear you have met the counsellor before. Is it the same one you used to see a little while back? I can remember you really liked your counsellor and you said that you felt safe with her.  Have you already seen her this week or is your session still  coming up? 

Im feeling alright today.

yes it did kake me feel better when talkking to my welfare manager about t. Im talkingn to her tomorrow which if ik being honest im not looking forward to talking to her as its about home life. No shes dufferent but i met my counsellor when I did a mental health group session that was at school.

i had my first counselling session this morning it was a bit emotional but it heloe me get well not everything out but just sone of it out and got some nee strategies to try aswell throughout the this week. 

[Aurora]

3 minutes ago, Treacle 246 said:

Im feeling alright today.

yes it did kake me feel better when talkking to my welfare manager about t. Im talkingn to her tomorrow which if ik being honest im not looking forward to talking to her as its about home life. No shes dufferent but i met my counsellor when I did a mental health group session that was at school.

i had my first counselling session this morning it was a bit emotional but it heloe me get well not everything out but just sone of it out and got some nee strategies to try aswell throughout the this week. 

I'm glad to hear your first counselling session went well today. That's OK if you didn't get everything out - it's difficult to do that in a first session but hopefully you'll be able to tell her more and more each session. Great that you have some new strategies to try out as well. I hope you find them useful. 

Thanks for explaining why you're not keen to speak to your welfare manager. It can be really difficult to talk about our home life. Is there something in particular you want to talk to her about and you're not sure how to tell her or is there something in particular she would like to talk about. 

[Treacle 246]

2 minutes ago, Aurora said:

I'm glad to hear your first counselling session went well today. That's OK if you didn't get everything out - it's difficult to do that in a first session but hopefully you'll be able to tell her more and more each session. Great that you have some new strategies to try out as well. I hope you find them useful. 

Thanks for explaining why you're not keen to speak to your welfare manager. It can be really difficult to talk about our home life. Is there something in particular you want to talk to her about and you're not sure how to tell her or is there something in particular she would like to talk about. 

Yeah i told my other welfare manager that things at home are getting alot to handle she asked me who does what and i told her who does what and she told me that she will inform my other welfare maager i had missed my meeting with her yesterday as i wasn't in as i wasn't well now I have to see her tomorrow and i dont want to 

[Aurora]

19 minutes ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yeah i told my other welfare manager that things at home are getting alot to handle she asked me who does what and i told her who does what and she told me that she will inform my other welfare maager i had missed my meeting with her yesterday as i wasn't in as i wasn't well now I have to see her tomorrow and i dont want to 

Thank you for explaining everything so well. I can understand why you are reluctant to see her. When we talk about our home life we never quite know, what will happen next. However, I can reassure you that your welfare manager is there to help and support you. 

It's really good that you let her know that things were getting a lot to handle at home (because they were). I get the impression that when you have reached out for help before, she has been really supportive. Is that right? I would imagine it will be the same in this situation - your welfare manager will most likely want to help you think about what support can be put into place for you and your mum, to help you both out. What do you think? 

I'm wondering whether you can think of what support you and your mum would find most useful (at home)? Maybe if you get a chance to think about it before the meeting with your welfare manager, you can be more involved in the process. What do you think? 

I'm afraid I have to log off now but I will be online tomorrow if you want to talk about it some more - or you can speak to one of our other support mentors this afternoon. We're here for you 

[Treacle 246]

20 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thank you for explaining everything so well. I can understand why you are reluctant to see her. When we talk about our home life we never quite know, what will happen next. However, I can reassure you that your welfare manager is there to help and support you. 

It's really good that you let her know that things were getting a lot to handle at home (because they were). I get the impression that when you have reached out for help before, she has been really supportive. Is that right? I would imagine it will be the same in this situation - your welfare manager will most likely want to help you think about what support can be put into place for you and your mum, to help you both out. What do you think? 

I'm wondering whether you can think of what support you and your mum would find most useful (at home)? Maybe if you get a chance to think about it before the meeting with your welfare manager, you can be more involved in the process. What do you think? 

I'm afraid I have to log off now but I will be online tomorrow if you want to talk about it some more - or you can speak to one of our other support mentors this afternoon. We're here for you 

Yes that is correct she has supported me but I don't know why but I feel bad for reaching out for help. I don't really know but my counsellor has added me to a young carer's list for something in banbury to just get a but more support. 

[Aurora]

38 minutes ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yes that is correct she has supported me but I don't know why but I feel bad for reaching out for help. I don't really know but my counsellor has added me to a young carer's list for something in banbury to just get a but more support. 

Please don't feel bad for reaching out for help. You are doing so much and I'm sure your mum really appreciates everything you do. However, if it does feel a bit much then it is important to think about your own well being, too. You can only support your mum if you are feeling well in yourself. And by getting some extra support to help you with some of the stuff, you can make sure that it doesn't get too much for you. What do you think? 

How do you feel about your counsellor adding you to the young carer's list? What kind of support would you be most interested in? For example peer support or practical support or something completely different? 

[Treacle 246]

22 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Please don't feel bad for reaching out for help. You are doing so much and I'm sure your mum really appreciates everything you do. However, if it does feel a bit much then it is important to think about your own well being, too. You can only support your mum if you are feeling well in yourself. And by getting some extra support to help you with some of the stuff, you can make sure that it doesn't get too much for you. What do you think? 

How do you feel about your counsellor adding you to the young carer's list? What kind of support would you be most interested in? For example peer support or practical support or something completely different? 

Yeah I'm trying not to feel bad for reaching out for help. As I'm also scared to tall to my mum about this as I know that it will make her feel guilty for not being able to do alot. 

I think it was a good idea as i think me and mum need a but more support. 

[Aurora]

33 minutes ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yeah I'm trying not to feel bad for reaching out for help. As I'm also scared to tall to my mum about this as I know that it will make her feel guilty for not being able to do alot. 

I think it was a good idea as i think me and mum need a but more support. 

I think you're absolutely right  I can also understand why you don't want to tell your mum and why you don't want her to feel guilty. However, if you think of it from your mum's point of view, do you think she would prefer it if you told someone that you need a bit of extra help or do you think she would prefer it if you just carried on even though it feels like too much for you? 

[Treacle 246]

4 minutes ago, Aurora said:

I think you're absolutely right  I can also understand why you don't want to tell your mum and why you don't want her to feel guilty. However, if you think of it from your mum's point of view, do you think she would prefer it if you told someone that you need a bit of extra help or do you think she would prefer it if you just carried on even though it feels like too much for you? 

That is a very good question I would think she would want me to reach out but I don't really know as he doesn't like other people coming into the house 

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, Treacle 246 said:

That is a very good question I would think she would want me to reach out but I don't really know as he doesn't like other people coming into the house 

It sounds like she probably would like you to have support but the support might make her feel uncomfortable. Is that right? Can you think of any advantages for your mum to have someone coming to your house? 

[Treacle 246]

On 6/14/2024 at 1:04 PM, Aurora said:

It sounds like she probably would like you to have support but the support might make her feel uncomfortable. Is that right? Can you think of any advantages for your mum to have someone coming to your house? 

Well the talk with mum helped both of us as she felt like i was doing more of what i could do. Yesterday mum did the living room while i did the kitchen and it felt better that she was able to do some of it 

[Luie]

5 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Well the talk with mum helped both of us as she felt like i was doing more of what i could do. Yesterday mum did the living room while i did the kitchen and it felt better that she was able to do some of it 

Heyy @Treacle 246, Aurora is off for the next few weeks and I was wondering if you're comfortable with the rest of the mentors supporting you or would you like to wait for them to return? Whatever works best for you do let us know 

[Mestizo]

On 6/17/2024 at 1:56 AM, Treacle 246 said:

Well the talk with mum helped both of us as she felt like i was doing more of what i could do. Yesterday mum did the living room while i did the kitchen and it felt better that she was able to do some of it 

Hi @Treacle. I just wanted to say that I’m really glad the talk you had with your mum helped.

[Aurora]

On 6/17/2024 at 9:56 AM, Treacle 246 said:

Well the talk with mum helped both of us as she felt like i was doing more of what i could do. Yesterday mum did the living room while i did the kitchen and it felt better that she was able to do some of it 

Hi @Treacle 246, I am back from my holiday and I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing? 

I'm so glad to hear that you has a good talk with your Mum. How have things been since then? 

[Treacle 246]

23 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @Treacle 246, I am back from my holiday and I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing? 

I'm so glad to hear that you has a good talk with your Mum. How have things been since then? 

It has been alot easier now and more relaxed 

But did have an incident with my sister sometime last week it caused me to have a breakdown about it but u didn't speak to her 

[Aurora]

19 minutes ago, Treacle 246 said:

It has been alot easier now and more relaxed 

But did have an incident with my sister sometime last week it caused me to have a breakdown about it but u didn't speak to her 

Hi Treacle, that's great that it's been a lot easier now and that things feel more relaxed. 

Sorry to hear about the incidence with your sister. Would you like to talk about it? No pressure of course. Also, would you mind clarifying who didn't speak to her. It says  'u' in your last message but I am guessing that is a typo, is that right? 

[Aurora]

Hi @Treacle 246, just checking in to see how you're doing? I hope you've had a good week so far 

[Treacle 246]

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi @Treacle 246, just checking in to see how you're doing? I hope you've had a good week so far 

Yeah it's been alright but could be better 

[Mestizo]

1 hour ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yeah it's been alright but could be better 

Hi @Treacle 246. I’m Mestizo, one of the other Support Mentors with Ditch the Label. Is there anything in particular that would be helpful to you to talk about? I hope things are better between you and your sister now? 

[Treacle 246]

5 hours ago, Mestizo said:

Hi @Treacle 246. I’m Mestizo, one of the other Support Mentors with Ditch the Label. Is there anything in particular that would be helpful to you to talk about? I hope things are better between you and your sister now? 

Yeah it has she has left me alone but there was an incident yesterday and last week that there are some kids on our street and they've been shouting abuse at me, jy mum, my neighbours we had called the police four times yesterday but no one came out the parents won't do anything about the kids behaviour me, my mum and my neighbour don't feel safe in our own homes or leaving our home 

[Aurora]

12 hours ago, Treacle 246 said:

Yeah it has she has left me alone but there was an incident yesterday and last week that there are some kids on our street and they've been shouting abuse at me, jy mum, my neighbours we had called the police four times yesterday but no one came out the parents won't do anything about the kids behaviour me, my mum and my neighbour don't feel safe in our own homes or leaving our home 

Hi Treacle, that sounds like a really difficult situation to have to deal with. Do you mind me asking how many kids there are who are doing this and how old they are? Just so I can understand the situation a bit better. 

How frustrating that the police didn't come when you called them. It's not OK for you, your mum and your neighbour to not feel safe in your own home! I've had a look and it seems that you can also report this kind of behaviour to your local council. Maybe they can help you. You can find some more information here https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/community-family/antisocial-behaviour

 How are you, your mum and your neighbour holding up? 

[Treacle 246]

37 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Hi Treacle, that sounds like a really difficult situation to have to deal with. Do you mind me asking how many kids there are who are doing this and how old they are? Just so I can understand the situation a bit better. 

How frustrating that the police didn't come when you called them. It's not OK for you, your mum and your neighbour to not feel safe in your own home! I've had a look and it seems that you can also report this kind of behaviour to your local council. Maybe they can help you. You can find some more information here https://crimestoppers-uk.org/keeping-safe/community-family/antisocial-behaviour

 How are you, your mum and your neighbour holding up? 

Hi Aurora,

There is like 14 kids it can get to 20 kids. They are around 6,7,8,12,11,13,14. We're doing alright but we're all just too tired. Yeah our council knows and my school knows as some kids are from my school. But the council probably won't do anything as its sanctuary. 

Thank you 

[Aurora]

1 hour ago, Treacle 246 said:

Hi Aurora,

There is like 14 kids it can get to 20 kids. They are around 6,7,8,12,11,13,14. We're doing alright but we're all just too tired. Yeah our council knows and my school knows as some kids are from my school. But the council probably won't do anything as its sanctuary. 

Thank you 

Thank you for explaining everything a bit more. 14-20 kids and quite a big age range, too - I can understand why that would feel really intimidating and why you don't feel safe when they are around, shouting abuse. Are they shouting abuse to other neighbours as well, or just the one neighbour? 

I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by the council probably won't do anything because it's sanctuary. Could you explain that again please if you don't mind? 

My advice would be to keep contacting either the council or the police until they do something about it. If they get enough complaints they won't be able to ignore it. What do you think? 

I'm glad to hear you are doing alright. You mentioned being tired, is that because the kids are out and about at night as well or is there a different reason for this?