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I am trying to have people I know call me Kai because I am now Nonbinary but...my parents don't know that..and last time I told them I was Bi they reacted bad..what should I do.?

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1 hour ago, lKail said:

I am trying to have people I know call me Kai because I am now Nonbinary but...my parents don't know that..and last time I told them I was Bi they reacted bad..what should I do.?

Hey @lKail 😊

I just come across your post, I will tag our Trained Mentors in so they can reach out with some support and advice when they are available.  @Monsoon & @Blondie 

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11 hours ago, lKail said:

I am trying to have people I know call me Kai because I am now Nonbinary but...my parents don't know that..and last time I told them I was Bi they reacted bad..what should I do.?

Hey there,

Okay, so they reacted badly at first, but I'm wondering, how did it go over time? Did things change? 

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No things didn't change..actually they have gotten even more homophobic (didn't know that was possible for them tbh) my mom though..when I told her I was Bi the first time she actually didn't react as bad as my dad did. Like she was calm but also had a mad tone. and told me "I was just confused or it was a phase"..but my dad just plain out told me "No" and "U can't be..they're all going to Hell..they're all sinners!" 

 

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19 hours ago, lKail said:

No things didn't change..actually they have gotten even more homophobic (didn't know that was possible for them tbh) my mom though..when I told her I was Bi the first time she actually didn't react as bad as my dad did. Like she was calm but also had a mad tone. and told me "I was just confused or it was a phase"..but my dad just plain out told me "No" and "U can't be..they're all going to Hell..they're all sinners!" 

Hey,

That's sounds like it must have been really tough and intense for you. Do you think they believe you about your identity now, or still think that it's a phase? Also, I'm wondering, why do you think your dad has views like this? 

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Tbh I don't really know why they have such a bad view of people in the LGBTQ+ community. It maybe could be because they're all really religious? And I have brought up the topic of me getting a "boy" haircut style but they still said no and that I had to have a "female" hairstyle because I was "STRICTLY a FEMALE".   :P

Soooooo...yeah, coming out soon as Gay and Nonbinary is not likely. TvT

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Dammit..I wish I could tell my parents I was Nonbinary and that I did want a new name..I hate how they keep calling me my old name.....

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3 hours ago, lKail said:

Dammit..I wish I could tell my parents I was Nonbinary and that I did want a new name..I hate how they keep calling me my old name.....

Hey there,

Even though it sounds like they might have a negative reaction to this news, could you still tell them? Even if they don't agree and want to follow their own way of doing things, how might it feel to just share this news about your identity anyway? I guess that, unfortunately, some parents do take a long time to process this kind of information, so by telling them, you can start that process where they come to terms with it over time. What do you think? 

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I could tell them but I think I'll just wait a couple years and maybe the year or two before I move out I'll tell em.

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And to make it worse is that with me not telling them, I have to put my old name on my school assignments (I do online).

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Also my dad said maybe next week on my moms day off I could get a haircut but it has to be to the shoulders or it could be a little above, but I might not even try tbh..like I don't want a haircut I don't want.

But just in case I do want a little haircut for now, I'll keep searching for one that I like/love.

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10 hours ago, lKail said:

Also my dad said maybe next week on my moms day off I could get a haircut but it has to be to the shoulders or it could be a little above, but I might not even try tbh..like I don't want a haircut I don't want.

But just in case I do want a little haircut for now, I'll keep searching for one that I like/love.

Hey,

How does it feel when you put your old name on the assignments? Also, have you been able to find a new haircut yet? 

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I found some that I kinda like last night, and honestly I hate that I have to use my old name..but I do have to live with it till I come out..so yay this for a couple years

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14 hours ago, lKail said:

I found some that I kinda like last night, and honestly I hate that I have to use my old name..but I do have to live with it till I come out..so yay this for a couple years

Hey there,

That's tough; I completely get that. I'm wondering, are there little things you can do to make it better, like using your new name in your head, and maybe using it here as well if you aren't already? 

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I am starting to use it more, and yeah online I use Kai just as my name like anybody would  :P  :D

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13 hours ago, lKail said:

I am starting to use it more, and yeah online I use Kai just as my name like anybody would  :P  :D

That's great. How does it feel for you when you get to use your real name, Kai?

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Oooooo, well it honestly feels amazing because I can be my actual true self when I do use it.

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21 hours ago, lKail said:

Oooooo, well it honestly feels amazing because I can be my actual true self when I do use it.

Hey,

Yeah, I bet. You can be your full, true self here and we love having you as part of the community. How are you feeling about everything at the moment? 

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Well currently I'm thriving because nothing bad has at least happened :D

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18 hours ago, lKail said:

Well currently I'm thriving because nothing bad has at least happened :D

That's great to hear :)

Would you like anymore support with this, or are you good?

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