I keep getting flashback memories and its bringing me down

[Emberfrost12]

I keep on getting memories about things that happened in the past when i'm doing something similar-ish. For example, we're playing badminton in gym, and i remember doing that last year. I play rock paper scissors, and I remember the time someone won by spinning around on the 'scissors' part. They're only for 5-10 seconds, but I feel like they're reminding of what I can't have anymore, now that I'm the only one at my school who remembers these thing, and it's really bringing me down.

[Monsoon]

22 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I keep on getting memories about things that happened in the past when i'm doing something similar-ish. For example, we're playing badminton in gym, and i remember doing that last year. I play rock paper scissors, and I remember the time someone won by spinning around on the 'scissors' part. They're only for 5-10 seconds, but I feel like they're reminding of what I can't have anymore, now that I'm the only one at my school who remembers these thing, and it's really bringing me down.

Hey there,

Thank you for sharing this. I'm curious about how you said you're being reminded of what you can't have anymore, and I'm wondering if you can tell me more about that? 

[Emberfrost12]

Just, I feel like it used to be six of us in my grade, and we were really close, but now there's 50-ish people that I interact with in my grade, meaning i'll never have that closeness. Also, I'm the only one that came from my school, so I share absolutely no history with anyone

[Monsoon]

Hey,

Thank you for explaining that for me. I totally get what you’re saying about how those memories are bringing you down. It sounds like you’re really missing that closeness you sued to have with them, is that right? I’m wondering, how would you describe your friendships in your grade at the moment? 

[Emberfrost12]

I have several large-ish friend groups, but we're not as close so it's hard for me

[Monsoon]

On 12/18/2021 at 3:22 PM, Emberfrost12 said:

I have several large-ish friend groups, but we're not as close so it's hard for me

Hey there,

Ah, yeah, I get you. In what way are you finding it hard? What kind of thoughts and feelings are you having?

[Emberfrost12]

I think the issue is that everyone’s mostly separate from everyone else and I’m not used to it. It could also have to do with this thing I do where I kind of separate from myself. I don’t know why it happens, but it usually happens in the winter and it makes me feel really lonely  and negative and desperate. It’s also what made me originally self-harm :(

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

It's interesting that you talk about separating from yourself. I'm wondering, why do you think your mind might be doing that? What impact do you think it has on your life?

[Emberfrost12]

I'm not sure, but it might be be  because of painful memories? I only noticed it last year, and the year before that, I was bullying someone...but would that be it? 

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I'm not sure, but it might be be  because of painful memories? I only noticed it last year, and the year before that, I was bullying someone...but would that be it? 

Hey there,

Yeah, it could be because of the painful memories. When we have experienced something negative, some people can find that they end up detaching from their emotions which can be a way that the mind reacts to help you cope. What do you think? How is everything going for you at the moment? 

[Emberfrost12]

That makes sense. I'm pretty stressed out, but better than last year, but I can tell it's only getting worse from here :(

[Monsoon]

47 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

That makes sense. I'm pretty stressed out, but better than last year, but I can tell it's only getting worse from here :(

Hey there,

Sorry to hear that you're pretty stressed out at the moment. Would you like to tell me more about what's going on? 

[Emberfrost12]

School's delayed because of covid, so it's just my brother and I at home. (our parents are stuck in florida) So I feel extra lonely. 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Thanks for telling me that. How long have you been feeling lonely for? What is that feeling like for you? 

[Emberfrost12]

I haven't seen any of my friends for a month, so that long? and being lonely usually gives me 'no one cares about you' thoughts. 

[TheOriginalAxel]

40 minutes ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I haven't seen any of my friends for a month, so that long? and being lonely usually gives me 'no one cares about you' thoughts. 

Hey there,

I just want you to know that there were times in my on life when I felt the same but eventually you will start to realise that people do care about you and that it might just take them some time to understand what you are going through

[Emberfrost12]

4 hours ago, Elated Homoromantic said:

Hey there,

I just want you to know that there were times in my on life when I felt the same but eventually you will start to realise that people do care about you and that it might just take them some time to understand what you are going through

Thnx for that :)

[TheOriginalAxel]

7 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Thnx for that :)

No problem. I am just happy to help :)

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

I haven't seen any of my friends for a month, so that long? and being lonely usually gives me 'no one cares about you' thoughts. 

Hey there,

Ah, okay, so you're experiencing some negative thoughts about no one caring about you. Tell me about a time recently when someone has done something caring for you. What did they do? How did that make you feel? 

[Emberfrost12]

Um...My partner texted me recently and asked how I was doing. Felt good..

[Monsoon]

1 hour ago, Emberfrost12 said:

Um...My partner texted me recently and asked how I was doing. Felt good..

Hey there,

Ah, yeah, I bet; that shows that they care about you because if they didn't, then they wouldn't check in. Can you tell me about another time recently when someone has done something caring for you? :) 

[TheOriginalAxel]

I hope you don't mind me asking, When did you start getting these feelings? (and how did you get the empowered badge?)

[Emberfrost12]

19 hours ago, Elated Homoromantic said:

I hope you don't mind me asking, When did you start getting these feelings? (and how did you get the empowered badge?)

7ish months ago? and the empowered badge is if someone likes one of your comments as 'empowered'

On 1/7/2022 at 4:02 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Ah, yeah, I bet; that shows that they care about you because if they didn't, then they wouldn't check in. Can you tell me about another time recently when someone has done something caring for you? :) 

Can't really think of anything, sorry

[Monsoon]

6 hours ago, Emberfrost12 said:

7ish months ago? and the empowered badge is if someone likes one of your comments as 'empowered'

Can't really think of anything, sorry

Hey thee,

That's okay :)

I'm wondering, why do you think I asked the question? 

[Emberfrost12]

Maybe to make me see that someone does care about me?

 

also, we were talking about my painful memories, and I’m really stressed out about those because last year I was being bullied and the year before that I was bullying someone, like I mentioned, and everything about the weather is the exact same. Everything is triggering me, and I’m really on edge.