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Am I bi or just Overthinking?


ConfusedandFruity?

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On 12/23/2021 at 5:46 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I’m going to jump in here and reply instead of Blondie if that’s okay? :)

I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better lately. Is there anything you’d like support then with for now, or are you good? 

Oh my god! i'm so sorry i have been active lately. I've been trying to figure things out in the last couple of months and I'm glad reading through these someone else may have found the support they need, Ik its been months since I've replied but thankyou for replying it's nice to know im not the only one. I'm actually doing ok rn. I can feel the burn out coming on as I'm entering my last two years of high school everything is kinda going on but i'm still a better place than I was last year. I came out to my neighbour the other day (on my birthday actually) and she was rlly cool about it, I knew she would be and tbh I think she figured it out ages ago. Recently I've been into this girl that was in all of my classes last year I dont see her much nowadays. I almost came out to my mum the other day and i think she would be okay with it i guess but somewhat a little disapointed if that makes sense. Idk i used to think she would be 100% fine with it but she made a comment last year after i started dropping hints that she hopes I marry a guy and it kinda is still stuck and replays in my head over and over. Ik my dad wouldnt mind at all but I don't live with him and I worried if i come out to my parents they may tell my whole family and thats just alot at once. I'm still only out to a group of firends at school and my one nieghbour. I haven't told my brother although i think he would be cool with it. He does slur tho cause he and thinks it's no big deal which does bother me sometimes. There are times when I just want to tell my mum as we r rlly close tbh. But I'm just worried it's gonna hurt me more than make me relived. Sorry gone off on a tangent.  For now I'm doing okay I just wish I knew for sure It wouldn't end badly. Again I'm so sorry for not replying but thankyou so much guys.:) I hope that anyone else in the same boat, is doing well and following their heart xx I'm going to try to be more active from now on;)

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On 3/18/2022 at 9:26 AM, ConfusedandFruity? said:

Oh my god! i'm so sorry i have been active lately. I've been trying to figure things out in the last couple of months and I'm glad reading through these someone else may have found the support they need, Ik its been months since I've replied but thankyou for replying it's nice to know im not the only one. I'm actually doing ok rn. I can feel the burn out coming on as I'm entering my last two years of high school everything is kinda going on but i'm still a better place than I was last year. I came out to my neighbour the other day (on my birthday actually) and she was rlly cool about it, I knew she would be and tbh I think she figured it out ages ago. Recently I've been into this girl that was in all of my classes last year I dont see her much nowadays. I almost came out to my mum the other day and i think she would be okay with it i guess but somewhat a little disapointed if that makes sense. Idk i used to think she would be 100% fine with it but she made a comment last year after i started dropping hints that she hopes I marry a guy and it kinda is still stuck and replays in my head over and over. Ik my dad wouldnt mind at all but I don't live with him and I worried if i come out to my parents they may tell my whole family and thats just alot at once. I'm still only out to a group of firends at school and my one nieghbour. I haven't told my brother although i think he would be cool with it. He does slur tho cause he and thinks it's no big deal which does bother me sometimes. There are times when I just want to tell my mum as we r rlly close tbh. But I'm just worried it's gonna hurt me more than make me relived. Sorry gone off on a tangent.  For now I'm doing okay I just wish I knew for sure It wouldn't end badly. Again I'm so sorry for not replying but thankyou so much guys.:) I hope that anyone else in the same boat, is doing well and following their heart xx I'm going to try to be more active from now on;)

Hey there,

It's good to hear that you're doing okay right now and I'm glad it went well coming out to your neighbour. I'm glad your dad wouldn't mind coming out and I can imagine this must be comforting for you. I'm thinking, even if you don't get the reaction you hoped for from your mother at first, do you think it will probably get better with time? 

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1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It's good to hear that you're doing okay right now and I'm glad it went well coming out to your neighbour. I'm glad your dad wouldn't mind coming out and I can imagine this must be comforting for you. I'm thinking, even if you don't get the reaction you hoped for from your mother at first, do you think it will probably get better with time? 

I think once i do even if it doesn't go well at first then yeah it will get better overtime I just have to find the courage I guess.

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22 hours ago, ConfusedandFruity? said:

I think once i do even if it doesn't go well at first then yeah it will get better overtime I just have to find the courage I guess.

Hey,

Yeah, definitely; coming out can be quite nerve-wracking and means taking a leap of faith. Just remember, the love that parents have for their children is so strong and can be such a force in helping someone to become more open-minded and accepting :) 

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On 3/20/2022 at 9:23 PM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, definitely; coming out can be quite nerve-wracking and means taking a leap of faith. Just remember, the love that parents have for their children is so strong and can be such a force in helping someone to become more open-minded and accepting :) 

Mmm I really do hope this is how it turns out for me I think it should be okay even if it takes time. 🤞Like you said just means taking a leap of faith at some point :). 

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7 hours ago, ConfusedandFruity? said:

Mmm I really do hope this is how it turns out for me I think it should be okay even if it takes time. 🤞Like you said just means taking a leap of faith at some point :). 

Exactly, yeah, and I know you will be able to do it! How are you feeling about everything now?

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On 3/23/2022 at 4:56 AM, Monsoon said:

Exactly, yeah, and I know you will be able to do it! How are you feeling about everything now?

Honestly still nervous but better. I’m not as worried about it all :). I don’t think I’m ready just yet but I know when I am I’ll be okay to go ahead and do it☺️

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Hey,

I’m glad you’re feeling better; just remember, those nerves are completely normal and expected as part of this process. Would you like support with anything else at the moment? 

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On 12/14/2021 at 12:30 AM, ConfusedandFruity? said:

I've been attracted to guys my whole life but recently I've been thinking about having a relationship with someone of the same sex (not someone in particular just in general). I like the idea of being in a relationship with both male and females and I identify as Bi (I've only come out to a handful of people). But I'm worried that my brain it faking it, like it does with a lot of things. I've struggle with my mental health in the past and always had to battle my own head to say my problems and the things I'm dealing with are legit. But this feels like another level. Coming out is a big thing and my friends have been so supportive. Most of the time I'm fine and feel great about being Bi but other times my head questions it.  Don't get me wrong I'm fine with being bi, in fact I think its great but my head says you can't go back now. And honestly thinking about being in a relationship with someone of the same sex makes me happy, but theres a voice that says "thats just cause you want to be friends." To me I'm bi, but I'm scared people are gonna be like oh no your not or I'm straight but I've thought about it before, your just straight. I have been thinking about it for months and honestly I'm sure  I am,. But I've never dated anyone (male or female). Anyone have any advice? Or similar stories to share :).🙃

I know you posted this awhile ago, but (I’m not even joking) I’m in the exact same situation right now. Did it ever get better for you?

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On 3/28/2022 at 5:55 AM, StupidGenius said:

I know you posted this awhile ago, but (I’m not even joking) I’m in the exact same situation right now. Did it ever get better for you?

Yeah actually. But it took some time. I spent quite a while just trying to figure myself out and I still am today. At the end of the day you should just stick with whatever feels good. I now identify as Bisexual I do still question  it sometimes but tbh In my experience ( which isn’t a lot) it’s just one of those things that get better overtime.  I’m now out to a group of friends which actually helped me take a step forwards into understanding my sexuality.  If it makes you happy then stick to your gut :) it might suck for a little bit whilst you try to figure it out  but now I’m on better terms with where I’m at and doing well. The only peice of advice I can give you is to do what ever makes you HAPPY don’t worry too much about whether it changes in the further cause in reality it doesn’t matter if it changes. Just if you doing well now ;) Hope your doing okay 😊

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On 3/25/2022 at 2:34 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I’m glad you’re feeling better; just remember, those nerves are completely normal and expected as part of this process. Would you like support with anything else at the moment? 

No actually I’m doing okay!! Thankyou so much for all your help :) 

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1 hour ago, ConfusedandFruity? said:

Yeah actually. But it took some time. I spent quite a while just trying to figure myself out and I still am today. At the end of the day you should just stick with whatever feels good. I now identify as Bisexual I do still question  it sometimes but tbh In my experience ( which isn’t a lot) it’s just one of those things that get better overtime.  I’m now out to a group of friends which actually helped me take a step forwards into understanding my sexuality.  If it makes you happy then stick to your gut :) it might suck for a little bit whilst you try to figure it out  but now I’m on better terms with where I’m at and doing well. The only peice of advice I can give you is to do what ever makes you HAPPY don’t worry too much about whether it changes in the further cause in reality it doesn’t matter if it changes. Just if you doing well now ;) Hope your doing okay 😊

This is a relief to here because, honestly, it really freaked me out when I started questioning my sexuality. And even though it’s only been like two weeks, I’m doing better and now (at least in my head) identify as bi. Thanks for giving me hope!! ❤️ 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 4/1/2022 at 9:47 AM, StupidGenius said:

This is a relief to here because, honestly, it really freaked me out when I started questioning my sexuality. And even though it’s only been like two weeks, I’m doing better and now (at least in my head) identify as bi. Thanks for giving me hope!! ❤️ 

I’m glad your feeling better!! Goodluck 💕

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  • 2 weeks later...

Okay, This is just a neutral vision from me, honestly, It doesn't really matter if you overthink if your bi or a different sexuallity, But before I became Non-Binary, I looked into more of it and realized that I was apart of that structure. So that's where I am now.

I'm not saying you should look more into of being bi to better get a view of the entire thing, Just...Try to believe your bi and then you'll be good from there :)

 

(Sorry if I'm being rude T^T)

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2 hours ago, asdfgf said:

Hey I'm attracted to a girl at clg, no other girls but only her what am i

Hey @asdfgf Welcome to the Community!

I read your post and wondered whether you’d like to talk things through with one of our Trained Mentors? I will tag them in so you know who they are and so they can reach out to you. 😊 @Monsoon & @Blondie

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4 hours ago, asdfgf said:

Hey I'm attracted to a girl at clg, no other girls but only her what am i

Hey there,

Welcome. I'm one of the digital mentors here. Would you like support with this? If so, I'm happy to help :) 

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On 4/30/2022 at 4:27 PM, asdfgf said:

Hey I'm attracted to a girl at clg, no other girls but only her what am i

 

Ik this is extremely late and probably not needed any more but anyhow. Tbh I’m not sure. For now if ur attracted to her it doesn’t necessarily matter what your sexuality is. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out (again my experience isn’t huge 😋) Are you attracted to boys as well?  U may be Bisexual.  I started out attracted to another girl and now I identify as bisexual  for me it took me a couple months to figure it out. But right now maybe just think about what you feel comfortable identifying with. If u have any one your comfortable and ready to ask questions or talking to about it, sometimes that might help u figure it out. Everyone on this platform also helped me they might be able to help you too. 
 

also remember that you don’t have to have been a in  a queer relationship or have a crush on Multiple girls to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community 😉

Hope you figure it out or if u have I’m glad you got there ;)  lemme know if u have any questions, I doubt I can help as much as the mentors but I’ll try 😁

 

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  • 2 months later...
On 5/18/2022 at 12:41 AM, mc said:

i feel the exact same way!!! any help?

 

Again I’m so sorry I’m terrible at responding to messages. I rlly hope u found some help Sooners I really have not been helpful😬

but if ur still confused exact same advice. It takes time, I’m still working things out. For me I used to just sit and ask myself would I  date a girl and I realised I would be just as happy to as I would a guy. It’s okay to figure it out as you go and if u have someone your comfortable talking to maybe have a chat with them. At the end of the day if it makes you happy to identify with that sexuality go with it and trust yourself. The first step in figuring  out who you are is trusting your gut. 

I just recently came out to my parents and I’m finally coming to a place of acceptance of who I am. The biggest peice of advice I can give u is trust that you’ve got yourself. You can figure it out as you go. You don’t need to pass everyone’s “tests” and yeah your gonan question yourself along the way but if your happy then that’s all that matters. If you have someoen you trust talk to them if your comfortable that really helped me firgure out who I was as well. I don’t think I can emphasise enough to just trust yourself and look for self acceptance and talk when your in a happy, healthy and comfortable space( only when u feel ready though you’ll know when you are) and remeber no matter what happens your supported here and even if I am terrible at responding I believe in you and I support you too!! 
 

if you have already firgured all this out hey I’m so proud of you!! And if not I hope this helps and your doing okay😁

 

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Hey, I was reading through the original post, and it is exactly what I’m feeling right now. I know it’s really late.. (like one year late) but I was wondering, how did you come to the conclusion that you aren’t overthinking, and that you just want to be friends? (If you have come to that conclusion at all.)  For me it’s the same with crushes, I don’t know if I just really like them as friends, or I do have a crush.

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)
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This post was recognized by Blondie!

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ConfusedandFruity? was awarded the badge 'Great Support' and 50 points.

On 7/27/2022 at 9:28 AM, Piper said:

Sorry I just realised how hard to read my last comment is-

 

no it totally makes sense dw. and I did figure it out and now idenitfy as bisexual. It look me breaking down in the middle of a bathroom in front of my friend when I was supposed to be in commerce class over my mother saying she wanted me to marry a guy for me to start to get somewhere.  For context:

My mum had handed me a husband in the game of life after i said suprise me when she asked if I wanted a husband or a wife and then proceeded to say" Im giving you a husband cause I want you to marry a guy." I was confused and worried cause I was beginning to think I not straight. ( my whole realisation was watching an edit on tiktok of this actress and going omg she gorgeous but in a OMG SHE SO HOT kinda way). So i was rlly quiet and out of it all day at school and my frined noticed and asked if i was okay i said no so she pulled me into the bathrooms locked us in and i broke down crying. When she finally got me to breath  i said" I think im bisexual and im scared of what my mum is gonna think." Her first repsonse was OMg that's great good for you. It's totally fine if you are. I then started to say Im bicurious to mysefl and to her of course. After a while i told another friend (who cried by the way as she is extremely religious and felt she could not support me- this girl is my closest friend and has been nothing but supportive even trying to get me to ask this girl out so we can double date smh) and then told some more (keep in mind I still asn't sure at this point) Then I started to label myself as Bi as it made me happy. I then started to paint little bisexaul flags in hidden parts of my room and did little things that made me feel proud and comfortable of being bisexual. eventually I got to a point where I realised that a lot of the time I had spent confused i wasnt confused at all. I knew most of the time, I was just so terrified of being a part of trend (i had heard comments abt people saying everyone is coming out as bi now like wth- can I just say tho i think it's great people are more comfortable to now sorry off topic) or saying I was Bi and realising I wasn't and having to be like no guys imnot bi. I was terrified. But trust in yourself and tell small amounts people when your ready to see if you like the sound of it :).I think something people forget alot of the time is the worry and stress that comes with going oh wait maybe I'm not straight as you then have to find yourself and hope that the people around you are going to be okay with it. The first thing i will say to anyone questioning their sexuality is trust yourself and what feels good. I have come out and openly talk about being Bi but there are still times where for a split second Im like umm maybe I am straight (i can assure you I am not) but in my expericene and from what I've heard from others, this is normal occurance and thats okay. Just keep asking yourself questions and the most important one to ask yourself does idenifying as **enter sexuality here***make me feel happy? Does watching queer movies and shows make you feel represented? You can even do online quizzes if you feel the need to hell knows I did ALOT OF THEM ;). Talk to people your comfortable talking to when your ready even if it's just a hey i thinkg i may not be straight saying it aloud help me so much. It takes time but trust you will get there in the end. 

Your mental health can also play a huge role in figuring yourself out so make sure to be kind to yourself and do things that make you happy!! Being confused and figuring this stuff out can absolutely suck, it is filled with doubt and frustration but you can find yourself along the way as cheesy as it sounds and little steps are still steps!!!! you've got this trust yourself and if you have already figured this all out im proud of you and if you haven't I hope your doing great and find this helpful.

is there anyone in particular you like that has made you feel this way? Or were you more like me and just woke up thinking oh my god I don’t think I’m straight?

I am no longer confused and fruity?? but rather fruity and confused !!!!(if that makes any sense lol ;)

 

Edited by ConfusedandFruity?
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Just now, ConfusedandFruity? said:

no it totally makes sense dw. and I did figure it out and now idenitfy as bisexual. It look me breaking down in the middle of a bathroom in front of my friend when I was supposed to be in commerce class over my mother saying she wanted me to marry a guy for me to start to get somewhere.  For context:

My mum had handed me a husband in the game of life after i said suprise me when she asked if I wanted a husband or a wife and then proceeded to say" Im giving you a husband cause I want you to marry a guy." I was confused and worried cause I was beginning to think I not straight. ( my whole realisation was watching an edit on tiktok of this actress and going omg she gorgeous but in a OMG SHE SO HOT kinda way). So i was rlly quiet and out of it all day at school and my frined noticed and asked if i was okay i said no so she pulled me into the bathrooms locked us in and i broke down crying. When she finally got me to breath  i said" I think im bisexual and im scared of what my mum is gonna think." Her first repsonse was OMg that's great good for you. It's totally fine if you are. I then started to say Im bicurious to mysefl and to her of course. After a while i told another friend (who cried by the way as she is extremely religious and felt she could not support me- this girl is my closest friend and has been nothing but supportive even trying to get me to ask this girl out so we can double date smh) and then told some more (keep in mind I still asn't sure at this point) Then I started to label myself as Bi as it made me happy. I then started to paint little bisexaul flags in hidden parts of my room and did little things that made me feel proud and comfortable of being bisexual. eventually I got to a point where I realised that a lot of the time I had spent confused i wasnt confused at all. I knew most of the time, I was just so terrified of being a part of trend (i had heard comments abt people saying everyone is coming out as bi now like wth- can I just say tho i think it's great people are more comfortable to now sorry off topic) or saying I was Bi and realising I wasn't and having to be like no guys imnot bi. I was terrified. But trust in yourself and tell small amounts people when your ready to see if you like the sound of it :).I think something people forget alot of the time is the worry and stress that comes with going oh wait maybe I'm not straight as you then have to find yourself and hope that the people around you are going to be okay with it. The first thing i will say to anyone questioning their sexuality is trust yourself and what feels good. I have come out and openly talk about being Bi but there are still times where for a split second Im like umm maybe I am straight (i can assure you I am not) but in my expericene and from what I've heard from others, this is normal occurance and thats okay. Just keep asking yourself questions and the most important one to ask yourself does idenifying as **enter sexuality here***make me feel happy? Does watching queer movies and shows make you feel represented? You can even do online quizzes if you feel the need to hell knows I did ALOT OF THEM ;). Talk to people your comfortable talking to when your ready even if it's just a hey i thinkg i may not be straight saying it aloud help me so much. It takes time but trust you will get there in the end. 

Your mental health can also play a huge role in figuring yourself out so make sure to be kind to yourself and do things that make you happy!! Being confused and figuring this stuff out can absolutely suck, it is filled with doubt and frustration but you can find yourself along the way as cheesy as it sounds and little steps are still steps!!!! you've got this trust yourself and if you have already figured this all out im proud of you and if you haven't I hope your doing great and find this helpful.

I am no longer confused and fruity?? but rather fruity and confused !!!!(if that makes any sense lol ;)

Apologies for the extremely long reply 

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41 minutes ago, ConfusedandFruity? said:

no it totally makes sense dw. and I did figure it out and now idenitfy as bisexual. It look me breaking down in the middle of a bathroom in front of my friend when I was supposed to be in commerce class over my mother saying she wanted me to marry a guy for me to start to get somewhere.  For context:

My mum had handed me a husband in the game of life after i said suprise me when she asked if I wanted a husband or a wife and then proceeded to say" Im giving you a husband cause I want you to marry a guy." I was confused and worried cause I was beginning to think I not straight. ( my whole realisation was watching an edit on tiktok of this actress and going omg she gorgeous but in a OMG SHE SO HOT kinda way). So i was rlly quiet and out of it all day at school and my frined noticed and asked if i was okay i said no so she pulled me into the bathrooms locked us in and i broke down crying. When she finally got me to breath  i said" I think im bisexual and im scared of what my mum is gonna think." Her first repsonse was OMg that's great good for you. It's totally fine if you are. I then started to say Im bicurious to mysefl and to her of course. After a while i told another friend (who cried by the way as she is extremely religious and felt she could not support me- this girl is my closest friend and has been nothing but supportive even trying to get me to ask this girl out so we can double date smh) and then told some more (keep in mind I still asn't sure at this point) Then I started to label myself as Bi as it made me happy. I then started to paint little bisexaul flags in hidden parts of my room and did little things that made me feel proud and comfortable of being bisexual. eventually I got to a point where I realised that a lot of the time I had spent confused i wasnt confused at all. I knew most of the time, I was just so terrified of being a part of trend (i had heard comments abt people saying everyone is coming out as bi now like wth- can I just say tho i think it's great people are more comfortable to now sorry off topic) or saying I was Bi and realising I wasn't and having to be like no guys imnot bi. I was terrified. But trust in yourself and tell small amounts people when your ready to see if you like the sound of it :).I think something people forget alot of the time is the worry and stress that comes with going oh wait maybe I'm not straight as you then have to find yourself and hope that the people around you are going to be okay with it. The first thing i will say to anyone questioning their sexuality is trust yourself and what feels good. I have come out and openly talk about being Bi but there are still times where for a split second Im like umm maybe I am straight (i can assure you I am not) but in my expericene and from what I've heard from others, this is normal occurance and thats okay. Just keep asking yourself questions and the most important one to ask yourself does idenifying as **enter sexuality here***make me feel happy? Does watching queer movies and shows make you feel represented? You can even do online quizzes if you feel the need to hell knows I did ALOT OF THEM ;). Talk to people your comfortable talking to when your ready even if it's just a hey i thinkg i may not be straight saying it aloud help me so much. It takes time but trust you will get there in the end. 

Your mental health can also play a huge role in figuring yourself out so make sure to be kind to yourself and do things that make you happy!! Being confused and figuring this stuff out can absolutely suck, it is filled with doubt and frustration but you can find yourself along the way as cheesy as it sounds and little steps are still steps!!!! you've got this trust yourself and if you have already figured this all out im proud of you and if you haven't I hope your doing great and find this helpful.

is there anyone in particular you like that has made you feel this way? Or were you more like me and just woke up thinking oh my god I don’t think I’m straight?

I am no longer confused and fruity?? but rather fruity and confused !!!!(if that makes any sense lol ;)

Hi there, I'm Blondie, one of the support mentors at itch the Label. This is such a useful and thoughtful reply - thank you so much for sharing! I'm sure it will help a lot of people in our community.

Drag Queen Singing GIF by Paramount+

 

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