Jaylen Posted January 7, 2022 Share Posted January 7, 2022 well right now there are three people I am comfortable with, who also know that I am not straight. 2 of them are my classmates and one of them is a year younger than me so I rarely get to see her. ( just consider my classmates as A and B) so my earlier friend group had 7 people in it, my best friend who I liked was also a part of it. I've been friends with her since I was 10. I realized I liked her more than a friend when I was 15. After that I just couldn't handle it anymore, she had a boyfriend and all she spoke about were boys, she treated everyone of her friends the same including me, which made me angry, at first I thought it was coz I was her best friend, I should be given more attention, but later I realized that I was jealous. I always wanted more than she could give, I expected her to like me more than everyone else. And day by day I was getting scared. I was scared I'd lose her to someone else right before my eyes, I could tell that we had a very close relationship. A lot of people said we were really close and we're really cute together, but as days went on I felt her move away from me, it's probably just paranoia but I felt like her boy friend meant more to her than me, I was scared. And then one day I decided to leave her and our friendship, coz I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't handle her being with everyone the way we used to be, it was suppose to be just us, but she is a nice person she treats everyone the same, I just disappointed myself by thinking that we could have more. that's when everything went downhill for me so when I left her I had to leave my whole friend group, my friends A and B also had issues with our group, it was different to mine but they left as well. that's one reason I'm comfortable with them , because I've known them for a while, and since they were there with me while I was going through these changes. but still I don't feel whole, as if I was torn apart, they are good friends, but they just don't fill me up. you get what I mean? so because of the pandemic our class had to be divided into two, so that there would be less children in a class together. so I was separated from my friends, that's when I met the girl younger to me, we just spoke, I saw her everyday afterschool, and one day she came out to me as gay, since then we've gotten closer. and she is an openminded kid as well. which is why I'm comfortable with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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