I want to talk about a picture I posted on Instagram recently

[Bea Miller]

Hey guys, Bea Miller here.

 

I'm gonna be checking in to Ditch the label's Community over the next few days to answer your questions and to talk to you about things that actually matter.

 

To get things started, I want to talk about a picture I posted on Instagram recently which caught the attention of another woman, who called me a slut just for having confidence.

 

Instead of reading this as the negative comment it was intended to be, I decided to hear it as someone calling me a sweet little unforgettable thing and turn it into a positive message to hopefully empower other women.

 

So now, I want to hear from you. I've created this space to be a safe place for you to share your own thoughts and experiences in and about the word with me.

 

Leave your comments below!

 

love, bea

 

To reply to this post, you'll need to create an account first.

[bingabong]

Hey Bea!! I feel the same. I get called a slut all the time and it's usually from other girls and I don't understand why. Like we should be there to pull each other up'?

[louise19]

Hey Bea,

 

I have been slut-shamed and it drives me mad that people do it the whole time to one another, the worst is when women do it to each other like we don't have enough problems.

 

So cool you are here, thank you for starting this thread. ??

[pineapple101]

hey bea!!! ?sorry that happened to you! The fact that you made a good thing from a bad experience is really cool. I'm gonna do that in future, next time someone says something mean on social media I'm going to find way to turn it around and use that negative energy for positive things!

 

Thanks for the inspo, love your song btw!

 

XXX

 

 

[looley1]

Hey Bea, love the video!!! ugh whenever I wear some of my clothes I get told that i'm giving off a certain "look".... like my clothes create a bad impression. I mean they are just clothes you can't judge a person by what they wear, right!?

 

Love the way you turn it positive. Next time someone makes a comment I'm just gonna own it like you do.

 

xxxx

[peach311]

Hey Bea,

 

Awesome to have you here and we love your honesty.

 

Can't wait to read your responses.

 

Keep doing you.

 

-Peach311 ?'??'?

[micasr]

Hi Bea! Hope you're having a good day! I really admire you for tuning a bad comment into something as beautiful as S.L.U.T!!! Women should ALWAYS empower each other ?'?

[sydney]

i once pulled over by the police and it was late i was in my pajamas running to the store quickly, and when they asked me to step out of the car, they told me to put a sweatshirt on because what i was wearing was ?disgusting? and that i should have ?more respect for myself? the worst part was that it was a women! we shouldn't tear eachother down like that and i shouldn't be told what i can and cannot wear

[beassel]

hey bea! i may not have experienced that before, but i know it's something that happens in a daily basis. i'm extremely disgusted by people who call women ?slut? for the way they dress or pose. i think those people don't understand yet that any women can do whatever they wanna do without being slutshamed about it. we all own our bodies, and we try to be confident, and these people saying all these hateful comment can shut up with their disrespect and let girls be proud of their body. thank you for expressing your thoughts on this matter! i know i picked the right role model! i love you

[charlotteamg]

I've been called a slag and slut so many times and always by other women and i find it so backwards what happened to women supporting each other. all i see if people bringing each other down and it's so sad because it's shows people still haven't learnt. especially learnt the definition of the words which is not my clothing choice.

[auroraoutnow]

in school these two girls constantly go after me saying that my face makes them want to throw up and commenting on my height cause i'm apparently short to them and always saying stuff about what i wear or how i do my hair i want to say something back but i'm not sure what to say thanks for listening love you gurl

[dyngfzah]

honestly, you've changed my point of view about this word and i love you for that

[shapeofbea]

hi bea, i don't know if you will be able to see that but that's my story, nobody called me slut (well just a girl of my class but i ignored that because she felt angry or whatever) but my exboyfriend was the same as motherlove's boy, desesperate and full of shit, he was toxic and he made me feel broken. i started to hide feelings, to stay in my house for days and he just wants that we meet to kiss when i wasn't well with that idea because i felt bad with myself. when i broke my relationship with him the chapter blue appeared and i was happy that somebody could "understand" me... btw i'm so thankful to you, because of you i feel like i am a sweet little unforgettable thing and nobody can't refuse that, thank you so much bea, you inspire me everyday ?

 

(sorry for my english, i'm from spain, i hope to see you soon)

[brittt]

Hey Bea! I've been with you since your colored hair and I have never been prouder to be part of a fandom. You have such beautiful and good songs with such a big truth about them, I have been toldby my ex-boyfriend (who was my boyfriend at the time) that whenever I wear a crop top or in his eyes ?sexy? clothing that I am asking to be touched.

Like how disgusting, he told me that I can't drink whenever I'm around other guys because I can't control myself so I can't say no to other guys'?? Tell them giys to keep their hands off instead of telling me to dress, act and live differently just because guys can't act like civilized human beings. I broke up with him because of your song S.L.U.T. It inspired ke after you released it and gave me strength. Thank you for being such an inspiration and for helping out girls from all ages ?

[aaron]

I've never been called a slut myself, probably cause i'm a guy, but I've heard it constantly in the hallways directed toward really nice girls. one of my best friends was recently shouted at and called a slut in the hallway and like I had no idea what to tell her. at least in my school it's a common insult that cuts deep for most and like I have no idea how to be a part in getting rid of the general meanness of the word and association : (

[joyrebers]

Yeah it has happened to me too, and I think it has happened to most people. I just ignore it but I can't ignore the fact that sometimes it does get to me. It is hurtful but we can't let it ruin our confidence. I just don't get why people care so much about others, it's always negative and there's always something to comment on. It makes me sick. And we should be able to talk about it and we should realize it and stop talking about people that way. Let them be who they want to be, you want to be who you want to be so give them that opportunity too, and don't ruin it for others LOVE YOURSELF AND LOVE EVERYONE ELSE. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE A SWEET LITTLE UNFORGETTABLE THING ??

[cllmev]

Hi, Bea!

So, straight to the point because I've been trying to write this for a while now. I didn't have the chance to see it all happen in your case, but, as we know for sure, things like that happen every day, all day and that's lame, at least. See the euphemism?

I really believe that there's some sort of salvation for all of that stupid judging and everything else, BUT I also believe that we can always try to make something good or even just cool out of something bad, just like what you did yourself.

Anyway, I feel like this happens because people are as ignorant as they allow themselves to be, like, if this certain person who actually tried slut-shaking you knew you and, above all, tried two thing called respect and common sense, none of this would be a topic in anywhere and S.L.U.T. wouldn't exist probably - that would've been sad. It's sad to know that we, human beings, still live among such things as ignorance and disrespect. Unfortunately, perhaps, there's not much to be done but trying to make something good out of this and maybe even teach people something.

Bye and pardon my probable mistakes, I'm Brazilian so it's not like things I say make sense all the time.

Btw, Brazil loves your music.

 

Oh, I almost forgot, your way of "making something good or even just cool out of something bad" couldn't have sounded better.

[peach311]

Hey

 

Big welcome to everyone new on our Support Community.

 

If you need any one on one advice/support about any of the issues being raised or with your own experiences feel free to message me privately.

 

Bea will be checking back in soon.

 

Sending positivity and support to you all.

-Peach311

[beassel]

hey bea! i'm mavi and i may not have experienced that before, but i know it's something that happens in a daily basis. i'm extremely disgusted by people who call women ?slut? for the way they dress or pose. i think those people don't understand yet that any women can do whatever they wanna do without being slutshamed about it. we all own our bodies, and we try to be confident, and these people saying all these hateful comment can shut up with their disrespect and let girls be proud of their body. thank you for expressing your thoughts on this matter! i know i picked the right role model! i love you

[motherlovs]

Hi bee! I'm so sorry that happened to you and I honestly am so tired of hearing people using that word, especially when it's coming from another woman. We should be empowering each other and I really appreciated the fact that you took what happened to you and turned into something empowering. The music video also was amazing and felt super empowering. Hopefully people will be more reasonable sooner or later. Love ya!

[hesbeatrice]

 

hey bea, hope you're having a nice day. i've been called a slut a couple times but thanks to you and your music now i turned it in something positive, just like you said before. it's surprising because the ones that called me a slut are girls and we're supposed to support each other and fight together for our rights, but well then that's a bit trash and disappointing.

[beasmokes]

Hey bea!! first, you did great by turning negativity into this, i admire you for this!

 

Nobody has ever called me a "slut" however i know some girls who have been called "slut" before by other girls or boys since it is something that happens quite regularly nowadays.

 

I still don't get why people call women or girls ?sluts? for clothes they wear. I don't remember which picture it was but i think it is the one on which you wear a red outfit, a ponytail and red lipstick. In short, i think people, but mostly WOMEN, should understand that any woman including you can dress the way they want.

 

After all, women should empower other women because we complete with each other

As girls, we should compliment each other because it is not a competition. If i were the girl who called you a slut, i'd be really ashamed because we should support one another, not bring one another down.

 

From what i saw, i believe it's a lack of confidence for some of them. They call women "slut" because they want to call them this way. Maybe they're jealous or maybe they're envious. We won't know.

 

You were trying to be confident, why won't people let you be proud of yourself..? Women should never be slutshamed.

 

Thank you for talking about such an important topic and expressing yourself about it!

 

(i'm from France, if you read this i hope you're planning to come really soon! i love you im @beasmokes on twitter i am still waiting for your dm tho, kisses from france)

[beasmokes]

Hey bea!! My name is Elvie,

 

First, you did great by turning negativity into this, i admire you for this!

Nobody has ever called me a ?slut? however i know some girls who have been called ?slut? before by other girls or boys since it is something that happens quite regularly nowadays.

I still don't get why people call women or girls ?sluts? for clothes they wear. I don't remember which picture it was but i think it is the one on which you wear a red outfit, a ponytail and red lipstick. In short, i think people, but mostly WOMEN, should understand that any woman including you can dress the way they want.

After all, women should empower other women because we complete with each other

As girls, we should compliment each other because it is not a competition. If i were the girl who called you a slut, i'd be really ashamed because we should support one another, not bring one another down.

From what i saw, i believe it's a lack of confidence for some of them. They call women ?slut? because they want to call them this way. Maybe they're jealous or maybe they're envious. We won't know.

You were trying to be confident, why won't people let you be proud of yourself..? Women should never be slutshamed.

Thank you for talking about such an important topic and expressing yourself about it!

(i'm from France, if you read this i hope you're planning to come really soon! i love you im @beasmokes on twitter i am still waiting for your dm tho, kisses from france)

[motherluve]

Hey Bea!

I really hate when women drag other women down, we should be lifting eachother up and trying to empower one another rather than insulting eachother. While I personally haven't been slut shamed, I have been shamed about my weight. Being a girl who is a little bigger than average is difficult, especially when people always think that they need to put their imput somewhere it isn't needed.

Do you have any advice for how to be more confident and how to care a little less about what other people think?

Much love and appreciatation ?

Geneiva.

[vaehmars]

Umm hi.... when I was seven I lost my mom. It was the hardest thing I believe I have ever gone through. Kids at the daycare I would go to laughed at me and would make of the fact that my mom died. When I went to middle school in 6th grade my one best friend had started bullying me. She would text me horrible things that I was ugly and fat, and that no one likes me that people were pretending to be my friend. I didn't know what to do. So I went to self harm for help, and it happened in 7th grade as well but it was cyber bullying. I finally made the choice to switch schools and make a new start, but at the new school someone found out about my self harm and told people I went to rehab and made fun of me for it. Everyone hated me. In 9th grade I went to a performing arts school because I want to become a singer (like You). And this girl started telling everyone I hated her and that I took all her friends away but sure I didn't care for her but I didn't tell anyone and I never hate because it's a strong word. So this one sophomore screamed at me telling me to stop being a bitch and I lost it. I broke down sobbing in the girls bathroom in front of my old friend. Saying how I was done and wanted to die, but I switched schools again. And now I am a sophomore in high school. I don't have a lot of friends and I stay out of drama. I know that I'm not skinny or pretty like other girls and I'm clean from self harm for over 6 months, and I'm proud of that.