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Let me be okay...


Lillyx    

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I am sick of being tired of life. I am sick and tired of getting judged because i am a teen mum due to abuse. I am scared I might do something and i am terrified due to i want to go but dont want to loose close friends and family. Need some 😞

I pretend i am okay and happy but inside i am crying of pain because i take it for other people and myself which hurts more. I dont want to come across as selfish but i am really letting myself down because nobody is supporting me and i am tired to hold on anymore nothing to be happy for or yeah 😞 

I get judged and it hurts me because I know that my place in this world isnt loved. No one has ever said anything nice about me or to me and all i get is hate, body shaming and words that make me feel really bad about myself, i am tired of supporting others then not getting anything back like i need support but you take me for granted and abuse me which hurts and is still hurting my soul now that you've gone far away from me.

I gave you love and time and you go and throw it away and hurt me when all i did was care for you in your darkest times and i sat and stayed by you until you felt better. i cared and loved for you to go and abuse and hurt me? why am i not good enough and all you did ws body shame me. i am not writing this to punish you im writing this to show that maybe somebody out there might actually care and want to hear  my story.   I am not strong  but I am powerful to carry on through shitty times.😪

You gave me a little girl when I was going through abuse from you and i didnt hate you for it but you still treated me like a toy which no-one shou;ld have to go through and you enjoyed it. I am writing this to ensure girls know they can rise and talk about it as it wasnt your fault. I am strong years later and getting justice for myself as i cant deal with the heart ache of feeling unwanted and unsafe and doing things to myself i didnt want to do but had no other way to let my pain go away. 

this might show that im weak and not strong but ive done campaigns about this and help and supported young girls with this as they deserve help because no way should any male take advantage and abuse their dignity and ruin their lives and it's not how life and justice systems work nowadays and we all MATTER whatever the situation. I am trying to be strong but it's hard and i hope i can feel less built up in my heart and chest that i am talking about this and taking it on the chin that i am not at fault for such brutal crimes that were put and made against me as they took my dignity away from by using me and other things. I am stronger and braver so keep calm reach out and get supported you MATTER 💗

If you need someone to talk to about any crime that has been putting yourself as risk of harm call these numbers to ensure your safe and get justice - Rape crisis - Samaritans, Shout and 999 in a emergency - here's their info - shout - 85258 rape crisis https://rapecrisis.org.uk/  Samaritans 116123

I cry out for support because of the body shaming i'm getting it's hard but i dislike how people treat me, I treat them with respect but all i get is hate comments negative comments about my weight and how thin i apparently am which is none of their buissness if i am honest as that's for me to know why i am 'thin' and they have no reason to ask so i find it unfair as i fight back by telling them its none of their buissness and to keep their mouth shut to stop asking me am i being a spiteful bitch? i seem really horrible but im not i am nice and caring but seem a bitch @Harper is this okay to post?

Edited by Lillyrose4
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On 10/11/2021 at 2:55 PM, Lillyrose4 said:

I am sick of being tired of life. I am sick and tired of getting judged because i am a teen mum due to abuse. I am scared I might do something and i am terrified due to i want to go but dont want to loose close friends and family. Need some 😞

I pretend i am okay and happy but inside i am crying of pain because i take it for other people and myself which hurts more. I dont want to come across as selfish but i am really letting myself down because nobody is supporting me and i am tired to hold on anymore nothing to be happy for or yeah 😞 

I get judged and it hurts me because I know that my place in this world isnt loved. No one has ever said anything nice about me or to me and all i get is hate, body shaming and words that make me feel really bad about myself, i am tired of supporting others then not getting anything back like i need support but you take me for granted and abuse me which hurts and is still hurting my soul now that you've gone far away from me.

I gave you love and time and you go and throw it away and hurt me when all i did was care for you in your darkest times and i sat and stayed by you until you felt better. i cared and loved for you to go and abuse and hurt me? why am i not good enough and all you did ws body shame me. i am not writing this to punish you im writing this to show that maybe somebody out there might actually care and want to hear  my story.   I am not strong  but I am powerful to carry on through shitty times.😪

You gave me a little girl when I was going through abuse from you and i didnt hate you for it but you still treated me like a toy which no-one shou;ld have to go through and you enjoyed it. I am writing this to ensure girls know they can rise and talk about it as it wasnt your fault. I am strong years later and getting justice for myself as i cant deal with the heart ache of feeling unwanted and unsafe and doing things to myself i didnt want to do but had no other way to let my pain go away. 

this might show that im weak and not strong but ive done campaigns about this and help and supported young girls with this as they deserve help because no way should any male take advantage and abuse their dignity and ruin their lives and it's not how life and justice systems work nowadays and we all MATTER whatever the situation. I am trying to be strong but it's hard and i hope i can feel less built up in my heart and chest that i am talking about this and taking it on the chin that i am not at fault for such brutal crimes that were put and made against me as they took my dignity away from by using me and other things. I am stronger and braver so keep calm reach out and get supported you MATTER 💗

If you need someone to talk to about any crime that has been putting yourself as risk of harm call these numbers to ensure your safe and get justice - Rape crisis - Samaritans, Shout and 999 in a emergency - here's their info - shout - 85258 rape crisis https://rapecrisis.org.uk/  Samaritans 116123

I cry out for support because of the body shaming i'm getting it's hard but i dislike how people treat me, I treat them with respect but all i get is hate comments negative comments about my weight and how thin i apparently am which is none of their buissness if i am honest as that's for me to know why i am 'thin' and they have no reason to ask so i find it unfair as i fight back by telling them its none of their buissness and to keep their mouth shut to stop asking me am i being a spiteful bitch? i seem really horrible but im not i am nice and caring but seem a bitch @Harper is this okay to post?

Hey @Lillyrose4 Just to let you know I've messaged you directly.

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3 hours ago, Blondie said:

Hey @Lillyrose4 Just to let you know I've messaged you directly.

ok. not doing good

5 hours ago, JessFlower33 said:

How are you feeling now Lilly? Hope your okay 

If not then please reach out to @Monsoon or maybe shout 85258 warm wishes Jess 🙏😀😊

not goood 😞 

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