SRH Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 Hi guys I'm new here , I honestly think I'm going insane or im a complete bitch. My current housemate has recently told me that there's a lot of things I say that she finds passive or aggressive. We had a big fight the other day where she started by saying that im passive she then went on to tell me that there is something wrong and she can tell because she lives with me ( nothing was wrong, I had worked every day friday -friday and was tired ) I did tell her this and she kept picking at the issue. I snapped and yelled at her and she yelled at me, long story short we're moving into seperate houses. I'm feeling like I actually am the bitch and I'm the reason for all this happening. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 Hey @SRH Ahh, it sounds like it's all been quite intense - how are you feeling? I hope things are a little better for you after getting it off your chest. It's interesting that you've said you feel like you're the reason for all of this happening. Can I ask, why is that? 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 20, 2021 Author Share Posted July 20, 2021 I think it's because every time we've spoken the way that my housemate replies sounds quite blameful which makes me think I've just got a terrible personality and it's my fault for the arguments . MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 21, 2021 Share Posted July 21, 2021 Hey @SRH Ah, okay. With the the way that things have panned out between you two, do you think that you can resolve it? If so, what do you think needs to change? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 22, 2021 Author Share Posted July 22, 2021 To be completely honest I don't think it's worth resolving, she said in a heated moment that even before we moved in she didn't think of us as friends and knew we were too different to become good friends. She finds everything I'm saying passive and or aggressive, I've changed how I speak to her so it sounds more friendly but it hasn't changed how she reacts. Does it sound like I'm just giving up and not trying , am I overreacting ? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 22, 2021 Share Posted July 22, 2021 Hey, I think that if you're sure that it's not worth resolving, then you have your answer there. It's interesting that you ask if you are overreacting or not. How come you ask? I'm wondering, are you both still emotional about the situation and potentially letting that be a part of the decisions you're making? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 22, 2021 Author Share Posted July 22, 2021 I think there are still a lot of emotions involved in the decision , I guess im a bit worried to start up the conversation again because I don't want to end up in an argument again . MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 Hey, I wonder if it could be good to talk with her again? I think that may be the best way to work through the emotions of the situation. It might continue to simmer inside otherwise, and you might not feel a sense of closure. What do you think? There are ways you can have these kinds of conversations without it turning into an argument. Why don't you have a look at this link? It has loads of tips for how to keep things calm when talking through something like this https://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-a-Confrontation MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 23, 2021 Author Share Posted July 23, 2021 Thankyou, I appreciate the helpful link and your perspective of your he situation, I'll definitely try and speak to her to resolve the conflict. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 10 hours ago, SRH said: Thankyou, I appreciate the helpful link and your perspective of your he situation, I'll definitely try and speak to her to resolve the conflict. Hey SRH. No worries Would you like support with anything else at the moment? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 24, 2021 Author Share Posted July 24, 2021 8 hours ago, Monsoon said: Hey SRH. No worries Would you like support with anything else at the moment? I'm just feeling a bit exhausted , stressed and uncomfortable in my environment at the moment. If you have any advice that would be great MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 24, 2021 Share Posted July 24, 2021 Hey @SRH Yeah, I totally get that. I'm wondering, could you potentially get away for a bit? Maybe you could go and stay with some family or friends to have a break - it sounds like you could really use one. Also, I'm wondering, what things do you like to do to calm your stress? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 24, 2021 Author Share Posted July 24, 2021 I feel calmer when at the beach, I've been trying to go for walks late afternoon when I get home from work along the river front /beach. I think i may stay with family for a few days hopefully I will feel better after I've had some space MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 Hey, Aww, those things sound lovely; going to the beach and late afternoon walks along the river front/beach. Both of them will be really good to help your stress levels and getting some time away by staying with you family will be great too. How are you feeling today? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 25, 2021 Author Share Posted July 25, 2021 I'm just tired and sad today, we've talked it out and it's all good now just sad it's come to this MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 26, 2021 Share Posted July 26, 2021 Hey SRH, I'm glad to hear that you've talked it out now and it's all good. Do you think that you can have a friendship with them at all, or is it now a case of moving onwards and upwards? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRH Posted July 27, 2021 Author Share Posted July 27, 2021 I'm thinking we can still have a friendship but cannot live together. It sounds like we both agree. We have both found new places to live so I guess we'll stay in contact with each other MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monsoon Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 Hey, Yeah, it's a shame that you cannot live together, but good that you might still be able to have a friendship. It might be good to have that space from each other by living separately. Some friends just don't do well living together, and that's okay. How are you feeling about everything now? I remember you saying that you were stressed. I hope you're feeling better now. Speak soon. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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