Low self-esteem

[StarGazer]

Hello.

ive struggled with my self-esteem for as long as I can remember. I think I have Body Dysmorphic disorder but  it’s how I view my face which bothers me more than how my body looks. I feel like I sound so narcissistic when I put my thoughts into words but these feelings of being ugly and never good enough for anyone really makes me feel worthless. I have this image of myself where I’m confident and out making good memories with lots of friends etc but that’s just not the reality and in my mind I’ve pinned that on me not looking attractive enough (I’m a girl by the way). The fact I’m not living my life how i really want to us making me depressed because of this.
 

Also, perhaps wrongly, I associate not getting comments from guys on nights out, messages from guys or anything like that on me just probably not being attractive and it just becomes an affirmation to my self-loathing thoughts. Ive had times in my life where I’ve loved who I was and how I look but now I find myself constantly comparing myself to others and asking myself what I’m doing wrong and it’s exhausting.

I’m also now afraid that my low-self esteem is rubbing off through my personality, and that will negatively contribute to the relationships I make. This is affirmed to me by the fact I’m 20 and have never been in a relationship and have hardly had anything with a guy. Also, I find people who I’d say are my friends arnt really- were just in the same friendship group like They wouldn’t hang-out with me 1-1. No one shows interest in me and it makes me feel like I’m just not nice to be around sometimes.

im aware I sound so pathetic in this post- and I’d hate for anyone to say they relate to these horrible feelings, but if anyone unfortunately does I would love to know if there are ways to feel better?

thanks.

 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by StarGazer

[Monsoon]

Hey @StarGazer

Welcome to our community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice and support to those who reach out to us. I just want to say that you don't sound pathetic at all. The way you feel is experienced by many others out there, and it's good to know that you aren't the only one. We all experience issues with our self-esteem at some point, and just know that we can work through it and get to a better place. I'm wondering, do you have an idea of what you might need to do to help yourself feel better about all of this? I ask because we are the experts in our own lives, and we can often have a good idea of what we need to do to get to where we want to be. 

By the way, have you had a read of this? Let me know what you think: 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/overcoming-low-self-esteem/

[StarGazer]

I have no idea how to feel better, but thankyou

[Monsoon]

Hey @StarGazer

That's okay - I can help you

Did you take a look at the article? Let me know what you think. The thing is, when we have low self-esteem, we often don't realise until we are far down the line that we hold all of the power to get back onto the right track. Our mind is such a powerful tool, and the relationship that we have with ourself is so important. We are often so unkind to ourselves, and we find that our mind can bully us into feeling horribly about the way we look. I'm wondering, if someone close to you was telling you that they felt exactly the same as you do now, what advice would you give to them? 

 

[StarGazer]

Yes I know. Thankyou! I’m always one to help others but never myself

[Monsoon]

Hey @StarGazer

Yeah, it's so important to help yourself too. Can I ask, if you had a friend tell you that they're feeling exactly the same way that you do now, what advice would you give to them?