New Crush: What do I do now

[Madeleine_357]

1 hour ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Madeleine_357,

Why would your friend think you are delusional? It's always hard to try to understand or even guess how someone non-communicative thinks about you. Sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong. Npt to mention all the situations where people confuse things by not going the full way and sending mixed messages. We can never really guess what they want or feel. So it might also be an idea to wait and see where this leads. Because, as you have previous experience with, people can be very brave online and then be a lot less confident or outgoing in real life.

Has Watermelon done anything since (probably) finding out who you are?

Other than glancing at me a few times, no. He doesn't really have the opportunity lets say. I only ever really see him in the halls from time to time in between classes. We don't have the same lunch, so that definitely creates a challenge. I'm also one of those people who walks down the hallway VERY fast with the purpose of getting to where I need to go. Plus, if I'm alone in the hallway, I ALWAYS have my earbuds in with music playing. I have been known to be deaf when power walking throughout my school with my music playing, so even of he did try to get my attention, I probably wouldn't either hear or notice. Hence the challenge.

[Madeleine_357]

On 2/13/2024 at 4:20 PM, Duckie said:

Hi @Madeleine_357,

Why would your friend think you are delusional? It's always hard to try to understand or even guess how someone non-communicative thinks about you. Sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong. Npt to mention all the situations where people confuse things by not going the full way and sending mixed messages. We can never really guess what they want or feel. So it might also be an idea to wait and see where this leads. Because, as you have previous experience with, people can be very brave online and then be a lot less confident or outgoing in real life.

Has Watermelon done anything since (probably) finding out who you are?

Yeah you have good points.

I'm done with watermelon. he lead me on. I'm so so so done. He posted a girl on his story for valentines day. I'm DONE. And spykid hasn't been snapping me as much anymore and when he does it's like a send all bec my friend got snaps from him at the exact same times I got them.

Guys suck. Why do I keep getting played? 

[Duckie]

On 2/13/2024 at 10:34 PM, Madeleine_357 said:

Other than glancing at me a few times, no. He doesn't really have the opportunity lets say. I only ever really see him in the halls from time to time in between classes. We don't have the same lunch, so that definitely creates a challenge. I'm also one of those people who walks down the hallway VERY fast with the purpose of getting to where I need to go. Plus, if I'm alone in the hallway, I ALWAYS have my earbuds in with music playing. I have been known to be deaf when power walking throughout my school with my music playing, so even of he did try to get my attention, I probably wouldn't either hear or notice. Hence the challenge.

This might make it harder for spykid to reach out if he wanted to. That doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't thinking about it, though  It sounds like you are pretty much always on the move, which makes me wonder if you maybe don't like being in a situation where people could approach you. What do you think about it? 

On 2/16/2024 at 2:37 AM, Madeleine_357 said:

Yeah you have good points.

I'm done with watermelon. he lead me on. I'm so so so done. He posted a girl on his story for valentines day. I'm DONE. And spykid hasn't been snapping me as much anymore and when he does it's like a send all bec my friend got snaps from him at the exact same times I got them.

Guys suck. Why do I keep getting played? 

Omg Watermelon... what an absolute tool... doesn't mean he and this girl are actually an item though. Do you know who she is?

[Madeleine_357]

4 hours ago, Duckie said:

This might make it harder for spykid to reach out if he wanted to. That doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't thinking about it, though  It sounds like you are pretty much always on the move, which makes me wonder if you maybe don't like being in a situation where people could approach you. What do you think about it? 

Omg Watermelon... what an absolute tool... doesn't mean he and this girl are actually an item though. Do you know who she is?

Yes, you are right. I am more introverted than extroverted, and feel very put on the spot when people I'm not close with stop to talk to me, and when/if the guy I like stops to say something to me, I can barely even make eye contact and feel like I'm going to die. Like with watermelon and when he and his friend talked to me. It's very hard to figure out my route around the building, because I don't reallt have one for most classes. I just take the long way from my locker to my class and vice versa.

I have no idea who the girl is. I've never seen her before, and he's hardly ever with any girls around the school. 

[Duckie]

On 2/19/2024 at 1:08 AM, Madeleine_357 said:

Yes, you are right. I am more introverted than extroverted, and feel very put on the spot when people I'm not close with stop to talk to me, and when/if the guy I like stops to say something to me, I can barely even make eye contact and feel like I'm going to die. Like with watermelon and when he and his friend talked to me. It's very hard to figure out my route around the building, because I don't reallt have one for most classes. I just take the long way from my locker to my class and vice versa.

I have no idea who the girl is. I've never seen her before, and he's hardly ever with any girls around the school. 

It is OK to want some space and to not feel ready to engage with strangers. I understand that as a fellow introvert, and it is hard being a minority in a noisy and busy environment such as a school. No wonder it gets you anxious trying to figure out what people's intentions are. 

Something tells me this might just be for show and that he's not actually associated with this girl... just a hunch.

[Madeleine_357]

On 2/20/2024 at 8:51 AM, Duckie said:

It is OK to want some space and to not feel ready to engage with strangers. I understand that as a fellow introvert, and it is hard being a minority in a noisy and busy environment such as a school. No wonder it gets you anxious trying to figure out what people's intentions are. 

Something tells me this might just be for show and that he's not actually associated with this girl... just a hunch.

But why would he post her if he's not associated with her? I don't want to go after a guy with a girlfriend. Not even because of the guy, but because of the girl. I don't want to hurt some random girl I don't know.

I also asked god to give me a sign wednesday night. I asked him to keep watermelon away from me (basically) so I wouldn't see him for the rest of the week (thursday and friday) and if I didn't see him either of those days, I would take it as a sign to move on.

I didn't see him at all on thursday, (which was also his birthday but I didn't post happy birthday on my story on snap like I normally would or even text him happy birthday. It was some other person I barely know on snap on the same day and i posted them but not him) so I was hoping that I wouldn't see him friday so I would know to move on. Guess what? I SAW HIM. ONCE. ONE TIME. ONE SINGLE TIME THE WHOLE DAY. SO I GUESS SHIT'S  OVER OVER IDFK KNOW

[Duckie]

On 2/25/2024 at 3:08 AM, Madeleine_357 said:

But why would he post her if he's not associated with her? I don't want to go after a guy with a girlfriend. Not even because of the guy, but because of the girl. I don't want to hurt some random girl I don't know.

I also asked god to give me a sign wednesday night. I asked him to keep watermelon away from me (basically) so I wouldn't see him for the rest of the week (thursday and friday) and if I didn't see him either of those days, I would take it as a sign to move on.

I didn't see him at all on thursday, (which was also his birthday but I didn't post happy birthday on my story on snap like I normally would or even text him happy birthday. It was some other person I barely know on snap on the same day and i posted them but not him) so I was hoping that I wouldn't see him friday so I would know to move on. Guess what? I SAW HIM. ONCE. ONE TIME. ONE SINGLE TIME THE WHOLE DAY. SO I GUESS SHIT'S  OVER OVER IDFK KNOW

Watermelon just doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would actually reach out to anyone romantically... I mean he keep staring at you and had his friend ask you for his snap... I think it's all for show.

Have you considered unfollowing him altogether, to not give him the opportunity to lurk on what you do on Snap? Because if he has a girlfriend (which I doubt, but still), then he might as well anyway. If he doesn't... well, he's been a bit of a jerk to you hasn't he?

[Madeleine_357]

12 hours ago, Duckie said:

Watermelon just doesn't strike me as the kind of person that would actually reach out to anyone romantically... I mean he keep staring at you and had his friend ask you for his snap... I think it's all for show.

Have you considered unfollowing him altogether, to not give him the opportunity to lurk on what you do on Snap? Because if he has a girlfriend (which I doubt, but still), then he might as well anyway. If he doesn't... well, he's been a bit of a jerk to you hasn't he?

He has veen kinda a jerk yeah, but I feel like if he ever realized I unadded him it would make things weirder

[Duckie]

8 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

He has veen kinda a jerk yeah, but I feel like if he ever realized I unadded him it would make things weirder

At risk of sounding like a small child - he started it. He has been weird from the beginning by staring at you lots, yet asking a friend to ask for your snap. And then being super rude on snap and leaking a message!! I mean he just doesn't sound stable enough to actually reach out to anyone. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I am just getting the impression he is a lot braver online than he is in person.

[Madeleine_357]

11 hours ago, Duckie said:

At risk of sounding like a small child - he started it. He has been weird from the beginning by staring at you lots, yet asking a friend to ask for your snap. And then being super rude on snap and leaking a message!! I mean he just doesn't sound stable enough to actually reach out to anyone. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but I am just getting the impression he is a lot braver online than he is in person.

He def is braver online, but honestly so am I. Although I would not try and lead someone on like that. 

I just- idk. I have this feeling that this is not the end of things, and when I get that feeling I'm normally right. I've been right the past like 2 or 3 times I got that feeling, so I'm trusting that it's going to be right again.

I also kinda feel like I want so badly for him to actually be a nice guy and not actually a player like my friend who we'll call cupcake said he was. I guess I just want to prove her wrong, but idk. 

I also feel stupid because I know that if all three of my little "situations" made moves on me and I had to choose, I would probably choose watermelon, and it makes me feel stupid that I just got played in a way even though we weren't even talkinh.

And I sometimes wonder how I would have handled things had cupcake not burst my little bubble by telling me he's an icky player.

[Duckie]

12 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

He def is braver online, but honestly so am I. Although I would not try and lead someone on like that. 

I just- idk. I have this feeling that this is not the end of things, and when I get that feeling I'm normally right. I've been right the past like 2 or 3 times I got that feeling, so I'm trusting that it's going to be right again.

I also kinda feel like I want so badly for him to actually be a nice guy and not actually a player like my friend who we'll call cupcake said he was. I guess I just want to prove her wrong, but idk. 

I also feel stupid because I know that if all three of my little "situations" made moves on me and I had to choose, I would probably choose watermelon, and it makes me feel stupid that I just got played in a way even though we weren't even talkinh.

And I sometimes wonder how I would have handled things had cupcake not burst my little bubble by telling me he's an icky player.

I think we're all braver online, now that you mention it. That's a good point. But he has been quite rude to you online, whereas in real life it seems he can barely even talk to you. But you wouldn't be so insecure as to riddicule anyone like he's done. This is why I feel his braver online persona is a bit fake. Do you see what I mean?

The whole player persona might be one that he's created for himself in order to seem less insecure. This would align with how he tries to discredit anyone who addresses him in public. Because then he remains a mystery and ends up leaving someone else feeling rejected. He might actually be neither of those things - neither nice or a player. Or he is secretly nice and too preoccupied with pretending not to be. People can be confusing like that, but you usually get an idea of what they're like when they think no one is watching. Like when they hold open a door or move aside when someone is walkign towards them.

The heart wants what it wants, and maybe the mysterious part of Watermelon is making you attracted to him. What do you think?

[Madeleine_357]

10 hours ago, Duckie said:

I think we're all braver online, now that you mention it. That's a good point. But he has been quite rude to you online, whereas in real life it seems he can barely even talk to you. But you wouldn't be so insecure as to riddicule anyone like he's done. This is why I feel his braver online persona is a bit fake. Do you see what I mean?

The whole player persona might be one that he's created for himself in order to seem less insecure. This would align with how he tries to discredit anyone who addresses him in public. Because then he remains a mystery and ends up leaving someone else feeling rejected. He might actually be neither of those things - neither nice or a player. Or he is secretly nice and too preoccupied with pretending not to be. People can be confusing like that, but you usually get an idea of what they're like when they think no one is watching. Like when they hold open a door or move aside when someone is walkign towards them.

The heart wants what it wants, and maybe the mysterious part of Watermelon is making you attracted to him. What do you think?

I don't know if it's the mysterious side that makes me attracted to him. That doesn't normally tend to be why I'm attracted to someone, so idk

When you talk about small things like holding open the door for someone, he did that for my friend and I. he walked through, and then held it open with his fingers so it didn't close before we could walk through too (we were talking in opposite directions) Kinda random story I know

That whole thing kinda sounds unnecessarily complicated. I still also don't know why you would think he's not actually dating someone if he posted something on valentines day. What's the point of posting something with a girl if they're not actually a thing?

Also kast night a friend who went to elementary school with him (she's a year younger than him) said he was more of like doesn't really talk to you unless you talk to him, iykwim

[Duckie]

13 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

I don't know if it's the mysterious side that makes me attracted to him. That doesn't normally tend to be why I'm attracted to someone, so idk

When you talk about small things like holding open the door for someone, he did that for my friend and I. he walked through, and then held it open with his fingers so it didn't close before we could walk through too (we were talking in opposite directions) Kinda random story I know

That whole thing kinda sounds unnecessarily complicated. I still also don't know why you would think he's not actually dating someone if he posted something on valentines day. What's the point of posting something with a girl if they're not actually a thing?

Also kast night a friend who went to elementary school with him (she's a year younger than him) said he was more of like doesn't really talk to you unless you talk to him, iykwim

Hi @Madeleine_357,

Sometimes we simply find ourselves falling for someone and not quite understanding why straight away. It can be confusing, because you might think you have a "type" and then suddenly you find that you might not.

I appreciate your thoughts that this might all seem complicated. Would it help to imagine yourself being in his position? I'm not saying I'm right about this, but just something that came to mind. If I was a young boy and I was shy and perhaps a bit insecure, in a world where toxic masculinity is expected. Wouldn't it feel easier to pretend to be this guy that every girl likes, but that can also reject people just like that? Like, it would give him a false sense of being more confident and in control. Just a thought. But you know him better than I do of course. I just got this hunch that there is something about him that feel very protective and private. What do you think?

i got that impression too. He doesn't seem to take initiative - not openly anyway.

 

[Madeleine_357]

10 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Madeleine_357,

Sometimes we simply find ourselves falling for someone and not quite understanding why straight away. It can be confusing, because you might think you have a "type" and then suddenly you find that you might not.

I appreciate your thoughts that this might all seem complicated. Would it help to imagine yourself being in his position? I'm not saying I'm right about this, but just something that came to mind. If I was a young boy and I was shy and perhaps a bit insecure, in a world where toxic masculinity is expected. Wouldn't it feel easier to pretend to be this guy that every girl likes, but that can also reject people just like that? Like, it would give him a false sense of being more confident and in control. Just a thought. But you know him better than I do of course. I just got this hunch that there is something about him that feel very protective and private. What do you think?

i got that impression too. He doesn't seem to take initiative - not openly anyway.

Yeah that all makes sense. I also don't know him THAT well. I've never like actually spoken to him other than a soft thank you when he held the door for my friend and I, and even then I'm not even 100% sure that he heard me. 

While all of that makes sense, I still don't understand why he would post a GIRL on his story for valentines day. Like, all of that's all well and good, but why would he post a GIRL if he wasn't dating him? Wouldn't that girl then think something was actually happening between them?

Sorry I know I'm being dense and this conversation has been going on for like forever.

[Duckie]

7 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

Yeah that all makes sense. I also don't know him THAT well. I've never like actually spoken to him other than a soft thank you when he held the door for my friend and I, and even then I'm not even 100% sure that he heard me. 

While all of that makes sense, I still don't understand why he would post a GIRL on his story for valentines day. Like, all of that's all well and good, but why would he post a GIRL if he wasn't dating him? Wouldn't that girl then think something was actually happening between them?

Sorry I know I'm being dense and this conversation has been going on for like forever.

Hi @Madeleine_357,

Do you think it's possible this girl is a friend of his or might not even know about him posting this picture? Was it a picture that implies that they are an item or "just" a picture of her on Valentine's Day?

[Madeleine_357]

15 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Madeleine_357,

Do you think it's possible this girl is a friend of his or might not even know about him posting this picture? Was it a picture that implies that they are an item or "just" a picture of her on Valentine's Day?

It said "Happy valentines day ml "  (ml stands for my love). She was like filming them with her tongue out and two fingers up and it was dark so you could just barely make out his face in the video

[Duckie]

On 3/1/2024 at 10:00 PM, Madeleine_357 said:

It said "Happy valentines day ml "  (ml stands for my love). She was like filming them with her tongue out and two fingers up and it was dark so you could just barely make out his face in the video

Hmmm. And this is a girl at your school, right? Have you ever seen them together?

[Madeleine_357]

On 3/3/2024 at 3:21 PM, Duckie said:

Hmmm. And this is a girl at your school, right? Have you ever seen them together?

I've never seen this girl in my life so I'm assuming she doesn't go to BT. Like I have never seen this girl in the hallways once this whole year, and neither have my friends who've seen the video

[Duckie]

7 hours ago, Madeleine_357 said:

I've never seen this girl in my life so I'm assuming she doesn't go to BT. Like I have never seen this girl in the hallways once this whole year, and neither have my friends who've seen the video

Is there a chance that this girl isn't actually real... Like photoshop or something? Just a thought. I am suggesting this mainly because Watermelon seems too shy to address someone in public and it might be part of his stay-away-persona. What do you think? Have there been more pictures of them together since?

[Madeleine_357]

11 hours ago, Duckie said:

Is there a chance that this girl isn't actually real... Like photoshop or something? Just a thought. I am suggesting this mainly because Watermelon seems too shy to address someone in public and it might be part of his stay-away-persona. What do you think? Have there been more pictures of them together since?

No there hasn't been any more photos of them together, but he also hasn't posted on his story since then. Again, there is absolutely no way it was photoshop. It was a VIDEO.

[Duckie]

3 minutes ago, Madeleine_357 said:

No there hasn't been any more photos of them together, but he also hasn't posted on his story since then. Again, there is absolutely no way it was photoshop. It was a VIDEO.

Oh I see. I thought it was a photo for some reason...

I do find it a bit strange that he hasn't posted since then, though. Like wasn't that for Valentine's Day?  As in 3 weeks ago?

[Madeleine_357]

21 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Oh I see. I thought it was a photo for some reason...

I do find it a bit strange that he hasn't posted since then, though. Like wasn't that for Valentine's Day?  As in 3 weeks ago?

Yeah but I'm not on his private story so he could have posted something and I just didn't see it. And not a lot of people constantly post on their public stories