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Are teenagers feelings intense than other's feelings.


learningbrain    
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  • Digital Mentor
On 11/17/2023 at 1:40 AM, learningbrain said:

Mmm.

I didn't meet her after the holidays. I think she might come to school tomorrow. I can meet her there. I will try to initiate this conversation.

Thanks.🥰

We went to regional Science city. I always love them. I like to see the outcome of the experiments. It just blows your mind. I am amazed by science. It's my cup of tea.

Because she doesn't help me whenever I need help or support.

i)I was very ill during my exams. My grandma says she should have visited me atleast once.

ii)She says she didn't come to drop me at the railway station. She dropped at the last moment.

iii)This was during August.I was in the group of anchors. She was a part of it too. We were told to wear a saree at that time. Her mom didn't give me a blouse. She says it's her fault. I genuinely feel that her mom didn't have a blouse which would fit me. It might be a possibility that her mom considers me as a competitor to her daughter and didn't give me her blouse. My mom says she would have helped if some kid(my friend )asks for her help. It might be a possibility that she considers me as a competitor and not as a friend. I am a good girl in the eyes of my teachers so she will get that privilege because she is my friend. My grandma says that I might be the reason for selecting her. She says that is the reason why she is sticking with me.

I asked her about it but The reasons just seem so fake. She says she was ill. She could have told me that. I was damn sure that she would come. She even called me 2 hours before the boarding. She was coughing a bit. I thought it wasn't that serious. She says she lied to me just so that I wouldn't feel bad about her. The reason feels so fake to me.

My grandma would have given me a tutorial that I shouldn't involve in a homosexual relationship as it is unnatural. Even friends can drop you at the station. I didn't think it's relationship. It's always like I am putting more effort into the relationship. It's like I am asking for it. She doesn't take any kind of initiative.

It was during another conversation.

I was asking her questions. This one is one of her answers to it.She tells me that I am the only person(girl) flirts with her. She says she would have punched her other friend if she flirted with her.

Previously it was me who texted her. I talked to her about texting me and telling whenever she isn't coming to school. She is following it. She is texting me and sending me pics(during holidays she went to her grandmas home) from that time onwards whenever she doesn't come to school. She is replying fast to my messages.

No I didn't think I have that kind of bond with anyone else. I feel they don't talk to me as soon as I leave the school. Its that I make many friends but the bond isn't that much strong that they will call me to enquire about me.I have two more friends in my school right now. I feel I have a good bonding with them. We connect. I talked about philosophy with one of my friend in school. I don't think their parents will allow her to come drop me at the railway station. She told me that she will drop me after 6 months because she will enter grade 12 and her parents will allow her. 

I actually talked about lieing to me about her health. I said I wouldn't feel bad since her parents will take care of her If she is ill. I told I would feel bad if she breaks her leg or something serious happens. I told that suffering cold , throat infection and fever are pretty common and should lie about it. I told her that she shouldn't lie about her health. She says she doesn't know my polices.

She says she thinks thousands times before talking to me.

Hi @learningbrain,

How are you? Sorry for the late reply! 

I agree with your grandma that your friend shouldn't have promised to drop you off by the station and then just not come at all. That wasn't cool. Visiting you when you were sick is something she might have been advised by her own parents to avoid, however. I'm thinking this might not be something that may have come natural to her either. It sounds like something you would expect from a romantic partner rather than a friend. What do you think? And I'm not sure how it is your friend's fault that her mother didn't give you a saree. I don't think that's fair, as her mother might have had her own reasons for not doing this.

Have you had a chance to talk to her about the train incident? It may very well be that she suddenly didn't feel well enough to go, but she waited until 2 hours later to tell you this. Has she apologised? It sounds like you might be ready for a relationship, as your actions show more consideration. And it might be that she isn't quite there yet herself and didn't understand at that point how her actions affected you.

It does sound like she is replying to you, though, and replying quickly as well. Does it matter that she isn't texting first? This might be something she's not considering but thinks it's you "thing" that you always text first. It also sounds like she really considers her answers, and that is usually a good thing. It sounds like she means what she says when it's about something serious.

5 hours ago, learningbrain said:

My friend I was talking about she came to school today. She gave me a bracelet. She says she has one more thing for me. She says it needs a Little correction and she was murmuring she needs a photo for it.

I was like okay. She gave me two books to read. She says she feels like those characters.

I will read and I will let you know.

That's so nice of her! How did receiving these gifts make you feel? 😊 Defo interested in what the books are about!

5 hours ago, learningbrain said:

I wanted to show it to you but I wasn't able to do it. I wasn't able to upload the pic.

Yeah, it's not the easiest uploading pics here. It's for safety and privacy purposes. Maybe you could describe it to me? 😊

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yes,It wasn't cool. It broke my heart. My grandma said that she wouldn't come to meet me at the railway station. I was so damn sure she would come. Yes I shouldn't be angry since my prediction was wrong.

I don't consider the other reasons though.

She has apologized.

Yes she is replying fast. It's a good sign.

She gave me a bracelet. It's not something I would use daily. Its good that she bought me something. I wearing it everyday though. It's not that I liked it every much but It would get spolied if I don't use it.

The resin is in white colour. It has a gold colour chain. The resin in poured into a gold coloured flower shaped small container.

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I don't understand her. Even her mom says she is unpredictable. We wer talking and she said she is responsible. I told I don't agree with that. Her mom also didn't agree. 

She had a friend named D. He proposed to her. She told she got butterflies when they hit thier heads. This happened even before I met. I don't know what exactly happened but by the time I got close to her thier relationship was strained. She told she will make him hate her. It was challenge. Don't know what happened after that. They fought. They got back together. I don't what happened but she is not talking with him. In the last conversation with her he told he was toxic and avoided her because of his studies(stupid reason). He told her to enjoy her life without his presence. I asked her many times if they were a couple but she says he isn't her boyfriend. 

One day she asked me if we can go on a date. I was shocked. I asked her if she was serious. She told me that she was serious. I asked her where we should go. She told that she doesn't know. I told her that she isn't the only person in my world and I have many things to do. I told her that we need to be selfish because we are an individual first and after that anything else. She told that it was a casual plan. She told she used the word date just because she didn't find any other word appropriate.

One day I told her that I am don't like the fact that I am more involved in the relationship with her. She says she is involved with me but not romantically. I told her that I didn't expect that.

I think it is clear she is loves me just as a friend.

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She gave me two books

i)Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the Universe. She told she feels like Dante.

ii) the Sun is also a star. She told she feels like Natasha while giving me these books.

I completed reading the first book a few days ago.

I asked how she relates to him. I asked if she share information about masturbation with her friends just like Dante. She told she asks her friends about it. I asked her why she didn't ask me that question. She told she feels that I don't masturbate. I told her that I masturbate. I waa a little embarrassed to tell her that. She asked me when I started masturbating. I told her during 5 th class. She says I started way before her. She told she masturbated in October 2022. She told she doesn't feel like it. She asked me when I masturbated. I told her it was a few days ago. She says she doesn't feel like that. She asked me when I mastrubate. I told her that whenever I don't have any kind of work or when ever Im totally free. She asked me if I don't have anything else to do. It hurt me a little bit.

 

Today I told her that she doesn't know how to masturbate that is why she isn't liking it. It's a possibility isn't it. I think it hit her hard. She replied to me but she didn't say anything like it's fine.

I told her many things today. I told her that I found a girl in our class attractive the day she was absent.

I told her about one more girl who kissed me on the cheek and it made me blush.

I told her that I liked touching a girl's ( she considers me as her sister)Belly. I really liked her. I slept beside her.

I told her that I look into the mirror fully naked when ever no one is present in the house.

I told her that she is the first person to know it all.

She told she was obliged. She told me that I am showing my real self.

 

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Today I dreamt of friend who studied with me in the 6 th grade. She is a really good girl and I liked her alot. I even remember what she wore the last time I met her. I met her during my 7 th class when she came to school to collect her Transfer Certificate. She was in my home. I don't remember what we talked about. I just hugged her. I was soo happy to meet her.Now that I'm thinking about it.I think I imagined my current friend's hair. I imagined that my old friend has my current friend's hairstyle. My old friend's hairstyle looked peculiar that's why I remember it.

I was setting my current friend's hair yesterday maybe that's why I remember it. Her hair wasn't right. It turned outwards and it looked like a horn. I found it funny. I thought It would look to romantic to set her hair.

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I didn't know where I should share this information. You clarified my original question. Thanks for that. I feel that my questions don't really end. I just wanted to share what I felt and share my experiences.

14 hours ago, learningbrain said:

Today I told her that she doesn't know how to masturbate that is why she isn't liking it. It's a possibility isn't it. I think it hit her hard. She replied to me but she didn't say anything like it's fine.

Do you think I pushed her little bit. She said she doesn't need help after I told I wanted to help her in that regard.I didn't feel she would get offended. I thought we were discussing everything and it's a part of the conversation. I think I know my boundaries. She got 🔥 in to flames after I told her she doesn't know how to do it. She told me it was lame.

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  • Digital Mentor
On 12/6/2023 at 2:36 PM, learningbrain said:

Yes,It wasn't cool. It broke my heart. My grandma said that she wouldn't come to meet me at the railway station. I was so damn sure she would come. Yes I shouldn't be angry since my prediction was wrong.

I don't consider the other reasons though.

She has apologized.

Yes she is replying fast. It's a good sign.

She gave me a bracelet. It's not something I would use daily. Its good that she bought me something. I wearing it everyday though. It's not that I liked it every much but It would get spolied if I don't use it.

The resin is in white colour. It has a gold colour chain. The resin in poured into a gold coloured flower shaped small container.

Hi @learningbrain,

Sorry for the slow response. I am catching up slowly 😊

It sounds like a beutiful bracelet. Do you think she might have felt a bit guilty so she wanted to give you something extra nice? Or does she usually bring you gifts of this kind?

On 12/6/2023 at 2:50 PM, learningbrain said:

I don't understand her. Even her mom says she is unpredictable. We wer talking and she said she is responsible. I told I don't agree with that. Her mom also didn't agree. 

She had a friend named D. He proposed to her. She told she got butterflies when they hit thier heads. This happened even before I met. I don't know what exactly happened but by the time I got close to her thier relationship was strained. She told she will make him hate her. It was challenge. Don't know what happened after that. They fought. They got back together. I don't what happened but she is not talking with him. In the last conversation with her he told he was toxic and avoided her because of his studies(stupid reason). He told her to enjoy her life without his presence. I asked her many times if they were a couple but she says he isn't her boyfriend. 

One day she asked me if we can go on a date. I was shocked. I asked her if she was serious. She told me that she was serious. I asked her where we should go. She told that she doesn't know. I told her that she isn't the only person in my world and I have many things to do. I told her that we need to be selfish because we are an individual first and after that anything else. She told that it was a casual plan. She told she used the word date just because she didn't find any other word appropriate.

One day I told her that I am don't like the fact that I am more involved in the relationship with her. She says she is involved with me but not romantically. I told her that I didn't expect that.

I think it is clear she is loves me just as a friend.

Your friend might have her own idea of what it means to be responsible. Would be good to ask her to give examples of situations or things she feels she is particularly good at displaying her responsibility. What do you think?

It sounds like their relationship was complicated. I know it doesn't always make sense but some people that are unhappy in relationships will make the other person do the hard bit (ie breaking up), by annoying them to the point where they will do this. I have actually had this happening to me once upon a time. Back then I got annoyed thinking the person was too much chicken shit to just tell me properly. And today I feel sorry for him for going through the lengths he went through to ensure he annoyed me enough to make me break up with him. It's really sad when you think about it... but I digress. Do you think this might be the case with your friend?

I mean she did ask you on a date. And she felt using that word was the most appropriate one to use. Are you sure she doesn't have feelings for you? I think sometimes we can over-analyze situations like these, when the reality might be more simple. Do you wish to go on a date with her?

On 12/7/2023 at 5:46 AM, learningbrain said:

I didn't know where I should share this information. You clarified my original question. Thanks for that. I feel that my questions don't really end. I just wanted to share what I felt and share my experiences.

Do you think I pushed her little bit. She said she doesn't need help after I told I wanted to help her in that regard.I didn't feel she would get offended. I thought we were discussing everything and it's a part of the conversation. I think I know my boundaries. She got 🔥 in to flames after I told her she doesn't know how to do it. She told me it was lame.

I feel this might have been a bit too personal for her. I appreciate that you were offering to help her, but she might be going through some things that makes her feel uncomfortable talking to someone about it. And some people are never really comfortable talking openly about these sort of things.

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On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

Sorry for the slow response

No problem.

 

On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

Do you think she might have felt a bit guilty so she wanted to give you something extra nice?

I don't think she is feeling guilty.

On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

Or does she usually bring you gifts of this kind?

No she never brings anything for me. She usually insists on paying whenever we go to a shop. Maybe it's her way of showing affection. I don't know. I always bring something or the other. She says she likes tic tac when we went to a shop. I brought her tic tac the next day. I missed her very much during that time. She was attending different classes. I could hardly speak to her. I used to bring something or the other everyday. She told me to Stop but I didn't. Later she says she wasn't in a mood to talk and she doesn't want to answer my questions.

I think you got it wrong she gave that bracelet as a birthday gift. I told my mom that she gave me a bracelet. (My mom)She said that she should have given it to me next year. She didn't give the gift on my birthday. She says she should have given it to me before my birthday if she knows she will not be available on my birthday. I felt the reason is genuine.

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On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

Your friend might have her own idea of what it means to be responsible. Would be good to ask her to give examples of situations or things she feels she is particularly good at displaying her responsibility. What do you think?

I don't think her examples would convince me. I don't think she is responsible. I don't know. We can't predict her. Alot of things go on in her mind. I tell her that she can share. I told her that I want to experience what she feels. I want to stay in the confused state she is in. You can't trust her with tasks.

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On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

It sounds like their relationship was complicated. I know it doesn't always make sense but some people that are unhappy in relationships will make the other person do the hard bit (ie breaking up), by annoying them to the point where they will do this. I have actually had this happening to me once upon a time. Back then I got annoyed thinking the person was too much chicken shit to just tell me properly. And today I feel sorry for him for going through the lengths he went through to ensure he annoyed me enough to make me break up with him. It's really sad when you think about it... but I digress. Do you think this might be the case with your friend?

I don't know how it is. I feel you can even stay as friends even if you Break up. Making the other person do it purposefully is wrong. Are you talking about all relationships he is having with people or else is he unhappy with this particular relationship? They can simply breakup if they are not happy with the relationship. Why do they make the person do it.

One time she told that she challenged D that she will make him hate her and she says she did make it that worse but after that they got back together.

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On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

I mean she did ask you on a date. And she felt using that word was the most appropriate one to use. Are you sure she doesn't have feelings for you? I think sometimes we can over analyze situations like these, when the reality might be more simple. Do you wish to go on a date with her?

Yes she did but she was so casual about it. She didn't even have a place in mind. I don't know. I feel that there's a high possibility she just treats me as her friend. I am okay if she is not sure she loves me or not. I am okay if we keep things verrrrrry slow. It's not that I want her to declare that I am her girlfriend. I just want her to be sure that we are going on a romantic date not a friendly date. I definitely want clarity on that. I will go out with her even as a friend or as a date(romantic) but what I want is clarity. You go on a date just to test your compatibility and know each other. It's not necessary everyone who goes on a date ends up marrying, Isn't it?

If she is having clarity that we are going on a romantic date. I would definitely say yes. No second thoughts. Let's give it a try.

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On 12/12/2023 at 3:24 AM, Duckie said:

I feel this might have been a bit too personal for her. I appreciate that you were offering to help her, but she might be going through some things that makes her feel uncomfortable talking to someone about it. And some people are never really comfortable talking openly about these sort of things

It's still a taboo topic in India. I was also a bit hesitant in the beginning. I opened up when she told she asked her harami(here it means dirty minded) friends about it. I thought we were open about it. She was asking me if didn't have any other work. I didn't take it to my heart. Yes, I agree it's an intimate question. I didn't know my boundaries. Now I know. It's better if I don't raise these kinds of topics until she talks about them.

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