The Coyotea’s Den

[Coyotea]

Alright, my lesson today was okay, I liked the horse I rode. Moonlight Lilly (Everyone just calls her Lilly) 

We did some jumps and it was better than last time. Legs hurt. Uhh, idk what else. Oh I’m going to be helping out on saturdays at the stable and I’ll get a free lesson in return for like…every…2 days I help out? Or something- 

[Coyotea]

I just realized DTL changed the reaction emojis :( I like the old ones better. 

[Coyotea]

I feel like these reaction emojis are too vague and just…bleh- 

I want the olllddd onesss.. the old ones I could just react with a “thank you!” Or “sending love” or yk whatever else they had, but now it’s seriously just…regular emojis? Is it seasonal or something?! Idk just

if someone reacts to something with how am I supposed to interpret that?! What the fuck does mean?! Are you waving at me to say hello? Are you saying that I’m going through a tough time?! Something else?!?!

Edited September 19, 2023 by Coyotea

[Duckie]

7 hours ago, Coyotea said:

I don’t like the trainer at my new stables, she’s pretty much un-teaching me everything I learned about riding. I’ve only ridden one horse there so far, I didn’t like it.

It wasn’t because he was stressed, it’s because he was drunk. He’s always unreasonable and it’s worse when he drinks. I told him not to yell at me and he gave me a poor apology. I’m fine, just have a bit more hate for my family. 

Sorry mate. That really sucks. I don't understand why some teachers insist you've learned things the wrong way when it's just different to their way. It's really off-putting. Is her way really different to yours or does it feel more nit-picky. Maybe you can ask for another horse next time?

Well done you for standing up for yourself, especially after having been yelled at out of the blue. What was his apology? Surely nothing justifies yelling about cheese... It sounds like your family is giving you a hard time. How do you deal with spending so much time around them?

[Duckie]

7 hours ago, Coyotea said:

However on a more positive note, I’ve got my Halloween costume planned. There are only two things I need to buy. And, I’ve also got two options for phone cases picked out, as well as new headphones, still have to ask to buy them but it shouldn’t be too much trouble, they don’t cost a lot and I’ve got plenty of allowance saved up anyway.

What/whom are you going to dress up as? :)

I always do Wednesday Addams because I already look a lot like her. I've got a big forehead and a serious face.

[Coyotea]

10 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Sorry mate. That really sucks. I don't understand why some teachers insist you've learned things the wrong way when it's just different to their way. It's really off-putting. Is her way really different to yours or does it feel more nit-picky. Maybe you can ask for another horse next time?

Well done you for standing up for yourself, especially after having been yelled at out of the blue. What was his apology? Surely nothing justifies yelling about cheese... It sounds like your family is giving you a hard time. How do you deal with spending so much time around them?

It’s really different, actually I’d say it’s got next to no direction…she doesn’t give me a lot of instruction she just sends me off to do whatever…

His apology was a very very annoyed and not sincere “sorry” that’s it. Not “I’m sorry I yelled at you, especially over something as trivial as cheese.” Or “I’m sorry I acted that way, I see what you mean when you say I should stop drinking because it’s damaging to you and the rest of the family, I’ll try to stop drinking.” Just a very annoyed, begrudgingly said “sorry”

[Coyotea]

13 minutes ago, Duckie said:

What/whom are you going to dress up as? :)

I always do Wednesday Addams because I already look a lot like her. I've got a big forehead and a serious face.

I’m going as the West Virginian cryptic/Urban legend *drum rollllll* Mothman!

 (Gif of an actual statue they made of mothman that resides in point pleasant West Virginia)

[Duckie]

3 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

It’s really different, actually I’d say it’s got next to no direction…she doesn’t give me a lot of instruction she just sends me off to do whatever…

His apology was a very very annoyed and not sincere “sorry” that’s it. Not “I’m sorry I yelled at you, especially over something as trivial as cheese.” Or “I’m sorry I acted that way, I see what you mean when you say I should stop drinking because it’s damaging to you and the rest of the family, I’ll try to stop drinking.” Just a very annoyed, begrudgingly said “sorry”

Maybe the trainer thought you look like you know what you're doing already so she left you to it. Could this be a possibility? Or did she imply she wasn't happy with your style in some way?

It sound like he doesn't take responsibility for any of his actions. What's the point of saying sorry just for the sake of saying the words... It sounds like you take a lot of responsibility in your house and I can only imagine that this must be heavy.

3 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

I’m going as the West Virginian cryptic/Urban legend *drum rollllll* Mothman!

 (Gif of an actual statue they made of mothman that resides in point pleasant West Virginia)

Oh wow! That's such an ambitious costume! Are you into cosplay by any chance? :) This looks like a cosplay project you could show at a convention. A friend of mine does them all the time for Comicon and he loves meeting so many like-minded role-playing/cosplay enthusiasts. I am reading up on Mothman right now. Never knew about him before.

[Coyotea]

12 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Maybe the trainer thought you look like you know what you're doing already so she left you to it. Could this be a possibility? Or did she imply she wasn't happy with your style in some way?

It sound like he doesn't take responsibility for any of his actions. What's the point of saying sorry just for the sake of saying the words... It sounds like you take a lot of responsibility in your house and I can only imagine that this must be heavy.

Oh wow! That's such an ambitious costume! Are you into cosplay by any chance? :) This looks like a cosplay project you could show at a convention. A friend of mine does them all the time for Comicon and he loves meeting so many like-minded role-playing/cosplay enthusiasts. I am reading up on Mothman right now. Never knew about him before.

I wouldn’t call it ambitious lol There are a lot of simplified designs of mothman, but yes! I’ve been wanting to get into cosplay, I don’t have a lot of time or materials I’d need though. And my parents are avid haters of people who cosplay. I love things like horror, ghost stories, urban legends, cryptids. Been planning this for a while now! Since Halloween of last year because I always have a tendency to wait until last minute. Next year I plan on being Remus Lupin from The Marauders in Harry Potter. Then maybe Draco malfoy after that…since I look like pretty much identical to Tom Felton. (I’ve had at least 15 people tell me I look exactly like Draco, only difference is my hair isn’t platinum blond..I wish it was though. ) 

[Coyotea]

17 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Maybe the trainer thought you look like you know what you're doing already so she left you to it. Could this be a possibility? Or did she imply she wasn't happy with your style in some way?

It sound like he doesn't take responsibility for any of his actions. What's the point of saying sorry just for the sake of saying the words... It sounds like you take a lot of responsibility in your house and I can only imagine that this must be heavy.

She said it was to teach me how to think for myself, but the thing is I don’t know what type of training would help me or what she wants me to do. And she clearly has an idea of what she wants me to do but won’t tell me and then I have to guess and then I get it wrong and then she’s upset. So really I have no idea. She’s telling me to forget everything I learned before in riding and that her way is the right way. Which I find hard to believe considering every other trainer I’ve had has taught me the opposite but whatever..

yeah…I do. My dad says “sorry” but never means it and never tries to improve. 
And to answer your question I usually try to spend more time away from them if I can.

 

[Duckie]

7 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

I wouldn’t call it ambitious lol There are a lot of simplified designs of mothman, but yes! I’ve been wanting to get into cosplay, I don’t have a lot of time or materials I’d need though. And my parents are avid haters of people who cosplay. I love things like horror, ghost stories, urban legends, cryptids. Been planning this for a while now! Since Halloween of last year because I always have a tendency to wait until last minute. Next year I plan on being Remus Lupin from The Marauders in Harry Potter. Then maybe Draco malfoy after that…since I look like pretty much identical to Tom Felton. (I’ve had at least 15 people tell me I look exactly like Draco, only difference is my hair isn’t platinum blond..I wish it was though. ) 

That's really cool! I always get so fascinated with how creative people are with the use of material and new ways of looking at things. I once saw a girl dressed as a steampunk Luigi (from the Mario brothers) and it was incredible! Wow, imagine looking like Tom Felton! I'd say that's a huge compliment.

6 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

She said it was to teach me how to think for myself, but the thing is I don’t know what type of training would help me or what she wants me to do. And she clearly has an idea of what she wants me to do but won’t tell me and then I have to guess and then I get it wrong and then she’s upset. So really I have no idea. She’s telling me to forget everything I learned before in riding and that her way is the right way. Which I find hard to believe considering every other trainer I’ve had has taught me the opposite but whatever..

yeah…I do. My dad says “sorry” but never means it and never tries to improve. 
And to answer your question I usually try to spend more time away from them if I can.

I think this is actually a new style of teaching where the teacher takes the backseat and let's the students learn by themselves a bit more. I don't agree with it, but there might be cases that I am unable to visualize where this technique is really good... It sounds a bit too laid back for what you need though. You are there to learn and if she expects something from you yet doesn't tell you what, she's just going to have to sit on it if she's not going to share it. Does she actually seem upset with you when she feels you're not doing something right? In that case, maybe you could talk to someone about her teaching style, because it sounds far too passive to have these kinds of expectations. Is there someone you can talk to about her? What are the other riders saying about this? If her way is "the right way" and she then doesn't tell you anything, then I'd say she doesn't know how to teach.

It sounds like he is saying sorry only so that he can defend yourself if you're still upset by his behaviour. "Hey, I said sorry, didn't I". But there's no point in saying sorry if you don't actually regret what you've said.

[Coyotea]

2 minutes ago, Duckie said:

That's really cool! I always get so fascinated with how creative people are with the use of material and new ways of looking at things. I once saw a girl dressed as a steampunk Luigi (from the Mario brothers) and it was incredible! Wow, imagine looking like Tom Felton! I'd say that's a huge compliment.

I think this is actually a new style of teaching where the teacher takes the backseat and let's the students learn by themselves a bit more. I don't agree with it, but there might be cases that I am unable to visualize where this technique is really good... It sounds a bit too laid back for what you need though. You are there to learn and if she expects something from you yet doesn't tell you what, she's just going to have to sit on it if she's not going to share it. Does she actually seem upset with you when she feels you're not doing something right? In that case, maybe you could talk to someone about her teaching style, because it sounds far too passive to have these kinds of expectations. Is there someone you can talk to about her? What are the other riders saying about this? If her way is "the right way" and she then doesn't tell you anything, then I'd say she doesn't know how to teach.

It sounds like he is saying sorry only so that he can defend yourself if you're still upset by his behaviour. "Hey, I said sorry, didn't I". But there's no point in saying sorry if you don't actually regret what you've said.

I definitely see being told I look like Tom Felton a compliment! It makes me very happy :) especially since I’m Transmasculine. 

I don’t really have anyone I can bring up her teaching style to, it’s just me that is at the stables during my lessons and she runs the place. I think there are some cases where teachers letting students figuring things out themselves and take more of a backseat can be useful and good for learning but not with this and especially not with how passive she is. She genuinely does seem upset when I don’t do what she wants even though I don’t know what that is.

Yeah, that’s exactly why he says sorry so he can spring that “but I apologized! I said sorry!” Card 

And even if he regrets what he did, it’s a matter of using that to change yourself for the better that matters the most.

[Duckie]

13 hours ago, Coyotea said:

I definitely see being told I look like Tom Felton a compliment! It makes me very happy :) especially since I’m Transmasculine. 

I don’t really have anyone I can bring up her teaching style to, it’s just me that is at the stables during my lessons and she runs the place. I think there are some cases where teachers letting students figuring things out themselves and take more of a backseat can be useful and good for learning but not with this and especially not with how passive she is. She genuinely does seem upset when I don’t do what she wants even though I don’t know what that is.

Yeah, that’s exactly why he says sorry so he can spring that “but I apologized! I said sorry!” Card 

And even if he regrets what he did, it’s a matter of using that to change yourself for the better that matters the most.

Hi @Coyotea,

Tom Felton is such a good, versatile actor too. It's really wonderful to be compared to someone talented as well! Have you ever dressed up as him for Halloween?

Gosh, that sounds so annyoing! I would want to say "you're gonna have to communicate, because I'm not a mind reader". She needs to either let you do your thing and accept that it won't always be the way she'd imagined it or she's gonna have to take a more active role and teach you. That sounds so frustrating. Is there a way to gently talk to her about how her disappointed/upset look makes you feel and how it's not good for your self-esteem? Or do you think you could ignore her and try and look for another stable with a more hands-on teacher? What do you think is the best way forward? I really don't want something like this to take away your joy of horseback riding. I used to ride Icelandic horses in my teens. They have this funny way of doing a fast walk. Not sure what the term is in English. Do you know of this?

It sounds like your dad is thinking of ways to protect himself from taking responsibility and diffusing the blame when he does this. It's a way like when people say something offensive and then say it's a joke when you get offended by it - the person saying the "joke" will protect themselves from criticism by saying stuff like "are you saying I can't joke now?" and diverting it to being an issue about being PC and not being able to take jokes or whatever - all a way to divert responsibility. And saying a weak meaningless sorry is a way to technically having said sorry, but not actually taking responsibility. That must be so frustrating. It can all become a bit delusional because if he keeps telling himself he did the right thing by apologizing, he's neglecting the fact that the right thing in this situation is to be genuinely sorry. Because saying sorry and BEING sorry might not be the same to him.

[Coyotea]

1 hour ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Coyotea,

Tom Felton is such a good, versatile actor too. It's really wonderful to be compared to someone talented as well! Have you ever dressed up as him for Halloween?

Gosh, that sounds so annyoing! I would want to say "you're gonna have to communicate, because I'm not a mind reader". She needs to either let you do your thing and accept that it won't always be the way she'd imagined it or she's gonna have to take a more active role and teach you. That sounds so frustrating. Is there a way to gently talk to her about how her disappointed/upset look makes you feel and how it's not good for your self-esteem? Or do you think you could ignore her and try and look for another stable with a more hands-on teacher? What do you think is the best way forward? I really don't want something like this to take away your joy of horseback riding. I used to ride Icelandic horses in my teens. They have this funny way of doing a fast walk. Not sure what the term is in English. Do you know of this?

It sounds like your dad is thinking of ways to protect himself from taking responsibility and diffusing the blame when he does this. It's a way like when people say something offensive and then say it's a joke when you get offended by it - the person saying the "joke" will protect themselves from criticism by saying stuff like "are you saying I can't joke now?" and diverting it to being an issue about being PC and not being able to take jokes or whatever - all a way to divert responsibility. And saying a weak meaningless sorry is a way to technically having said sorry, but not actually taking responsibility. That must be so frustrating. It can all become a bit delusional because if he keeps telling himself he did the right thing by apologizing, he's neglecting the fact that the right thing in this situation is to be genuinely sorry. Because saying sorry and BEING sorry might not be the same to him.

I haven’t dressed up as the actor himself- honestly I feel like that wouldn’t really be a costume. That’s usually why I stick to characters, hence why I’ll be dressing as Draco Malfoy at some point.

I don’t know what the best way to move forward would be, there’s only one other stable close to our house that wouldn’t have us stuck in traffic for ages and it was the first place I rode, my parents don’t like the place. Oh, for Icelandic horses (lovely animals by the way) I don’t know- I know there are a few different gaits that other breeds don’t have. Tölt is the closest I can think of when you say “fast walk” but I don’t know if it has an English translation or counterpart.

And yeah, my dad sucks. Still, not much I can do about it, the whole family has confronted him about drinking before and he didn’t listen. Like I said, the best way to apologize is to be sincere, acknowledging what you did wrong and then do your best to not do it again. Of course, he’s never going to do that.

[Duckie]

21 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

I haven’t dressed up as the actor himself- honestly I feel like that wouldn’t really be a costume. That’s usually why I stick to characters, hence why I’ll be dressing as Draco Malfoy at some point.

I don’t know what the best way to move forward would be, there’s only one other stable close to our house that wouldn’t have us stuck in traffic for ages and it was the first place I rode, my parents don’t like the place. Oh, for Icelandic horses (lovely animals by the way) I don’t know- I know there are a few different gaits that other breeds don’t have. Tölt is the closest I can think of when you say “fast walk” but I don’t know if it has an English translation or counterpart.

And yeah, my dad sucks. Still, not much I can do about it, the whole family has confronted him about drinking before and he didn’t listen. Like I said, the best way to apologize is to be sincere, acknowledging what you did wrong and then do your best to not do it again. Of course, he’s never going to do that.

Hi @Coyotea,

Silly me, I did mean dressing up as Draco Malfoy rather than Tom Felton himself. Brain fart :)

Did you like the first place, though? What was it your parents didn't like about it? YES, tölt is what I meant - not sure what the direct translation is for it, but it's quite fun actually. Have you tried it?

[Coyotea]

2 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Coyotea,

Silly me, I did mean dressing up as Draco Malfoy rather than Tom Felton himself. Brain fart :)

Did you like the first place, though? What was it your parents didn't like about it? YES, tölt is what I meant - not sure what the direct translation is for it, but it's quite fun actually. Have you tried it?

No worries, hah!  
 

The first place was alright, I suppose, I didn’t like that a lot of the horses there had nipping issues and they didn’t care for any of the tack, most of which was falling apart, there was garbage everywhere and they always had wine bottles laying about after the weekend. They also had a tendency to leave up a Christmas tree in a place where it could easily catch fire and spread to the rest of the place.

I have not tried Tölt! I’d love to but I’ve not been around any Icelandic horses so I haven’t had the opportunity to try it. It does look fun though!

[Duckie]

Just now, Coyotea said:

No worries, hah!  
 

The first place was alright, I suppose, I didn’t like that a lot of the horses there had nipping issues and they didn’t care for any of the tack, most of which was falling apart, there was garbage everywhere and they always had wine bottles laying about after the weekend. They also had a tendency to leave up a Christmas tree in a place where it could easily catch fire and spread to the rest of the place.

I have not tried Tölt! I’d love to but I’ve not been around any Icelandic horses so I haven’t had the opportunity to try it. It does look fun though!

Yeah, I suppose I can understand they weren't too happy with that. I wonder if they caught them on a bad day or if it was always like that.

Tölt is pretty cool actually. It feels a lot smoother somehow. I can't quite explain it because it's been a while but it does feel different. It's incredible how some breeds can do this like it's nothing. Horses really are incredible. How long have you been riding for? How did you get into riding full stop?

[Coyotea]

4 minutes ago, Duckie said:

Yeah, I suppose I can understand they weren't too happy with that. I wonder if they caught them on a bad day or if it was always like that.

Tölt is pretty cool actually. It feels a lot smoother somehow. I can't quite explain it because it's been a while but it does feel different. It's incredible how some breeds can do this like it's nothing. Horses really are incredible. How long have you been riding for? How did you get into riding full stop?

I went there for a year and a half, it was always like that. Well, I’ve always loved horses and riding, and I’ve been riding for about 3 years and 7 months, so almost 4 years. Yeah, horses are amazing, there are some breeds I wish I could ride, some of their gaits are so unique. 

 

[Coyotea]

I hate wednesdays. I don’t have the patience to deal with my bible study group, and I feel so burnt out, I don’t want to go and deal with them, but I have to.

[Duckie]

15 hours ago, Coyotea said:

I hate wednesdays. I don’t have the patience to deal with my bible study group, and I feel so burnt out, I don’t want to go and deal with them, but I have to.

What's happening in your bible study group? I mean I already know that you don't want to go, but is there anything in particular you don't feel OK about being there?

[Coyotea]

1 hour ago, Duckie said:

What's happening in your bible study group? I mean I already know that you don't want to go, but is there anything in particular you don't feel OK about being there?

I just didn’t/don’t have the energy for it, being in a room with so many people even if I’m not talking to any of them is exhausting. Especially these people. And it’s always loud and gets me overstimulated but then I can’t do anything about it because it’s loud everywhere. 

[Coyotea]

Alright, so, I’m going with my friends to a little tea shop/café on Sunday and then we’re going to go to Barnes & Nobles. I’m nervous because my dad just told me he was feeling unwell and I don’t wanna catch something and then not be able to go..or go and be sick and get others sick

[Duckie]

On 9/22/2023 at 3:13 PM, Coyotea said:

Alright, so, I’m going with my friends to a little tea shop/café on Sunday and then we’re going to go to Barnes & Nobles. I’m nervous because my dad just told me he was feeling unwell and I don’t wanna catch something and then not be able to go..or go and be sick and get others sick

Hi @Coyotea,

Oh man, that would really suck. How are you feeling now? Where you able to go and see your friends like planned?

If so, did you get something good from Barnes & Nobles?

[Coyotea]

On 9/24/2023 at 3:50 PM, Duckie said:

Hi @Coyotea,

Oh man, that would really suck. How are you feeling now? Where you able to go and see your friends like planned?

If so, did you get something good from Barnes & Nobles?

I didn’t get sick (at least not on Sunday) so yeah I got to see my friends

I got two books, one of them is The Song of Achilles. 

[Duckie]

8 minutes ago, Coyotea said:

I didn’t get sick (at least not on Sunday) so yeah I got to see my friends

I got two books, one of them is The Song of Achilles. 

That's really good to hear! Are you feeling unwell now or are you OK still?

I've been meaning to read that! It's supposed to be very moving :)