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My life right now


yesha Β  Β 

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Hello everyone, I'm new here :). These days i'm so confuse about how i feel about myself, my crush, my family, my studies, everything. just everything. i honestly just want someone to be there for me you know what i mean? i've been only the friend who types long essays to make my friends feel better. i just want to open up about how i really feel in the internet cause i trust nobody right now at this point. so, 3 weeks ago, i met some grade 9 students to be my friends then days goes by it just faded and i just keep on trying to bring it up because i want to talk to someone alright? i'm just so desperate for someone to be there for me at this point. i know it'll make me sound so dramatic but i feel sad, i feel depressed, i feel not enough, i feel empty, i feel suicidal, i feel like i'm annoying people, i feel like i'm overthinking about the same things all over again. i can't get over anything at this point. i just hate it so much that i'm attached to people who doesn't even want me or want to see me. i just want someone:(. i'm so young to feel this way, i want someone to understand me not to play with my feelings, i just want someone to stay with me and not leave me and break my heart all over again and again. i just wished everything was okay. everyday it feels the same. i just wish i'd never wake up anymore :,(. i'm really craving comfort guys, please help me.Β 

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This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Trauma

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11 minutes ago, yesha said:

Hello everyone, I'm new here :). These days i'm so confuse about how i feel about myself, my crush, my family, my studies, everything. just everything. i honestly just want someone to be there for me you know what i mean? i've been only the friend who types long essays to make my friends feel better. i just want to open up about how i really feel in the internet cause i trust nobody right now at this point. so, 3 weeks ago, i met some grade 9 students to be my friends then days goes by it just faded and i just keep on trying to bring it up because i want to talk to someone alright? i'm just so desperate for someone to be there for me at this point. i know it'll make me sound so dramatic but i feel sad, i feel depressed, i feel not enough, i feel empty, i feel suicidal, i feel like i'm annoying people, i feel like i'm overthinking about the same things all over again. i can't get over anything at this point. i just hate it so much that i'm attached to people who doesn't even want me or want to see me. i just want someone:(. i'm so young to feel this way, i want someone to understand me not to play with my feelings, i just want someone to stay with me and not leave me and break my heart all over again and again. i just wished everything was okay. everyday it feels the same. i just wish i'd never wake up anymore :,(. i'm really craving comfort guys, please help me.Β 

Hi @yeshaΒ and a warm welcome to our community.

I can see how low you’re feeling right now and I want to check in as you mentioned feeling suicidal and not wanting to wake up anymore.

Your safety is really important to us and we would like to help you through this. Firstly, can I check that you're currently safe or if you have a plan to end things?

I'm going to list some crisis details below so you have them to hand.

(UK) The Samaritans - 116 123 (This is a free service that operates 24/7)

(USA) Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988Β  (This is a free service that operates 24/7. You can call or text)Β 

A list of worldwide crisis lines can be found here: https://www.befrienders.orgΒ 

There's an app I can recommend called Stay Alive - it has safety plans to make sure you don’t harm yourself and you might find it helpful.Β 

You can also call the police if you feel at risk.

Can I ask if anyone close to you knows how you are feeling?
We're here for you; you’re not alone and we can work through this together.

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hello:) it's just a feeling. so please don't worry:) i just want assurance right now.Β 

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1 minute ago, yesha said:

hello:) it's just a feeling. so please don't worry:) i just want assurance right now.Β 

Thanks so much for letting us know- I’ll tag in our mentors that will be online today so they can support you @MonsoonΒ @Catsup

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3 hours ago, yesha said:

hello:) it's just a feeling. so please don't worry:) i just want assurance right now.Β 

Hey @yesha

I'm Monsoon, one of the digital mentors here on the platform. I have just had a read through your comments, and from the first one, it definitely sounds like you're having a hard time at the moment. It sounds like you really need someone to talk to right now, and we are here for you. It seems like there's a lot of intense feelings going on in your head at the moment, and it can be really helpful to let them out. We are here to listen to you, understand your situation, and help you in whatever way we can. I'm wondering, how long have you been feeling this way for? Also, do you think something happened to start all of these feelings?Β 

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12 hours ago, yesha said:

Hello everyone, I'm new here :). These days i'm so confuse about how i feel about myself, my crush, my family, my studies, everything. just everything. i honestly just want someone to be there for me you know what i mean? i've been only the friend who types long essays to make my friends feel better. i just want to open up about how i really feel in the internet cause i trust nobody right now at this point. so, 3 weeks ago, i met some grade 9 students to be my friends then days goes by it just faded and i just keep on trying to bring it up because i want to talk to someone alright? i'm just so desperate for someone to be there for me at this point. i know it'll make me sound so dramatic but i feel sad, i feel depressed, i feel not enough, i feel empty, i feel suicidal, i feel like i'm annoying people, i feel like i'm overthinking about the same things all over again. i can't get over anything at this point. i just hate it so much that i'm attached to people who doesn't even want me or want to see me. i just want someone:(. i'm so young to feel this way, i want someone to understand me not to play with my feelings, i just want someone to stay with me and not leave me and break my heart all over again and again. i just wished everything was okay. everyday it feels the same. i just wish i'd never wake up anymore :,(. i'm really craving comfort guys, please help me.Β 

Hey love (is that too informal to say right off the bat? Otherwise, hello Yesha :)

I'm Ways, but you can kinda call me whatever. I feel ya, i'll start with that. Well, im not peculiarly su ic idal, but I do tend to comfort others, but not always get the comfort I need, it sucks for sure. We are here for ya, you deserve that comfort. How can we help tho that would work best for you? ':)

I highly doubt it's my place to say, but hang in thereβ€οΈπŸ«‚

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Hey Yesha, I left a message 4 u on here, but it needs to be moderated, just wanted to let u know that :)

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2 hours ago, yesha said:

hellooo:)) thank you so much:)

Heyyy! I genuinely thought that you were far off yander lol

your welcome βœ¨πŸ‘πŸ½

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23 hours ago, yesha said:

hellooo:)) thank you so much:)

Hi there, it's really nice to hear from you again πŸ™‚.

It sounded like you were having a hard time, when you first posted on here. I just wanted to check in with you and see how are you feeling now? We're here for you if you would like to talk about it.Β 

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