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Real? What is real... is this real?


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help me 😅 i feel so confused, like I have struggled with dissociation before and many other things, but now I am just having a hard time. How do i know any of this is real? I ask, and people respond with, Why does it matter? Which feels really invalidating to me ;_; but I get it, its a good question. Im just scared cuz I feel a little bit like I am floating out into the space abyss again. So, how do i know if something, anything is real....or more like, how do i keep myself (mentally) here? (wherever that is..)

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Hi there, thank you so much for reaching out. You mentioned that you feel like you are floating out into the space abyss again. That's such a good description of what it must feel like for you right now. I'm sorry that other people around you seem quite dismissive of the thoughts you've been having. I can understand why that feels really invalidating to you. Please know that we are here to listen and to help you try and understand what's going on right now. Do you mind me asking, are you mainly having thoughts around this or have you also noticed any physical sensations when you're feeling like this? Also, how often would you say you're feeling like this? 

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11 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

help me 😅 i feel so confused, like I have struggled with dissociation before and many other things, but now I am just having a hard time. How do i know any of this is real? I ask, and people respond with, Why does it matter? Which feels really invalidating to me ;_; but I get it, its a good question. Im just scared cuz I feel a little bit like I am floating out into the space abyss again. So, how do i know if something, anything is real....or more like, how do i keep myself (mentally) here? (wherever that is..)

I'm sorry the dissociation is getting worse. Tbh, mine is too. Really hope yours gets better <3

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1 hour ago, SCARE said:

I'm sorry the dissociation is getting worse. Tbh, mine is too. Really hope yours gets better <3

oof thanks, but also sorry for you too. Imma try some coping stradgeys and I am also talking to my therapist today :/ Well see if i have the courage to talk about it tho. I really hope urs gets better, we can talk bout it here tho, luckily

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19 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said:

oof thanks, but also sorry for you too. Imma try some coping stradgeys and I am also talking to my therapist today :/ Well see if i have the courage to talk about it tho. I really hope urs gets better, we can talk bout it here tho, luckily

Yes, you definitely can speak about it here, it's a safe space for everyone to express themselves. Hope the therapy session goes well, and if you'd like to talk about it after, here for you!

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1 minute ago, Luie said:

Yes, you definitely can speak about it here, it's a safe space for everyone to express themselves. Hope the therapy session goes well, and if you'd like to talk about it after, here for you!

Thank you luie🥹 I will let you know how it goes! I think it will be more of a Information processing one today, since i have a lot on my mind. I just recently started with this therapist, so we dont know eachother that well yet, but they seem really good

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6 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, thank you so much for reaching out. You mentioned that you feel like you are floating out into the space abyss again. That's such a good description of what it must feel like for you right now. I'm sorry that other people around you seem quite dismissive of the thoughts you've been having. I can understand why that feels really invalidating to you. Please know that we are here to listen and to help you try and understand what's going on right now. Do you mind me asking, are you mainly having thoughts around this or have you also noticed any physical sensations when you're feeling like this? Also, how often would you say you're feeling like this? 

Hey Aurora, thank you <3

its mostly thoughts cuz its all in my head, but I just sense tension and harder to breath, sometimes my heart beats fast too! so a while ago, i had a really, distressing problem with this, but now its different I am talking to ppl and on meds.. but whenever i get a whiff of it again, it triggers so much and I get really scared of the pain and it's happening again. So.. ya, I just like diving into wealths of knowledge and thinking about everything that is in me and the world that surrounds me, but my curiosity can be a problem sometimes 😅

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Hey @Equivalent Ways

I just want to jump in for Aurora as she is only back tomorrow. I'm really glad you're talking to people and are also on medication. I can see that you mentioned therapy today, and I'm wondering how it went if you don't mind talking about it? Also, with the therapy, has your therapist been able to give you any helpful advice on it? 

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56 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Equivalent Ways

I just want to jump in for Aurora as she is only back tomorrow. I'm really glad you're talking to people and are also on medication. I can see that you mentioned therapy today, and I'm wondering how it went if you don't mind talking about it? Also, with the therapy, has your therapist been able to give you any helpful advice on it? 

 

3 hours ago, Luie said:

Yes, you definitely can speak about it here, it's a safe space for everyone to express themselves. Hope the therapy session goes well, and if you'd like to talk about it after, here for you!

Hey Monsoon! Thanks, everybody, for the support. I am not super glad to be on meds, especially since they can make me a little dizzy/dazed sometimes, nothing too bad tho, and i know they help... So yeah... I don't know my new therapist that well yet and I have not quite brought it up with her yet. I also feel really embarrassed on the inside because i did not muster it up/think to/was brave enough to mention it today at session😓 and it sucks too cuz its still proving to be a bit of a bother... it makes me sad, but very VERY grumpy on the outside. I feel sad, about a lot of things rn :(

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On 5/3/2023 at 9:51 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Hey Monsoon! Thanks, everybody, for the support. I am not super glad to be on meds, especially since they can make me a little dizzy/dazed sometimes, nothing too bad tho, and i know they help... So yeah... I don't know my new therapist that well yet and I have not quite brought it up with her yet. I also feel really embarrassed on the inside because i did not muster it up/think to/was brave enough to mention it today at session😓 and it sucks too cuz its still proving to be a bit of a bother... it makes me sad, but very VERY grumpy on the outside. I feel sad, about a lot of things rn :(

Please don't feel bad that you haven't spoken to your therapist about it yet. You mentioned that you don't know your new therapist that well yet and it can take time to build trust. It's only natural that we need to feel comfortable and really trust a person first before we can open up to someone about what's really going on inside us. Therapy is meant to be a safe space and if you didn't feel ready to bring it up that's absolutely fine. Do you mind me asking, how you are finding therapy so far and is it something you would like to share with your therapist? If you feel ready to talk to them about it but just don't know how to bring it up, maybe you could write it down before your next session and get them to read it. Do you think that might work? And if you don't feel quite ready to share it with them yet, then that's absolutely fine, too.  

On 5/3/2023 at 6:17 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Hey Aurora, thank you <3

its mostly thoughts cuz its all in my head, but I just sense tension and harder to breath, sometimes my heart beats fast too! so a while ago, i had a really, distressing problem with this, but now its different I am talking to ppl and on meds.. but whenever i get a whiff of it again, it triggers so much and I get really scared of the pain and it's happening again. So.. ya, I just like diving into wealths of knowledge and thinking about everything that is in me and the world that surrounds me, but my curiosity can be a problem sometimes 😅

Thanks for explaining a bit more what's been going on for you. I was asking about body sensations because sometimes when we feel dissociation it can be part of anxiety or even a panic attack. It's interesting that you mentioned it triggering so much and getting scared of it happening again. Do you think it might be linked to anxiety for you? I'm wondering whether, the next time it happens, you could try and use the grounding exercise that I've mentioned to you before (please let me know if I haven't). Grounding can be really helpful to bring us back into the present moment. What do you think? Also, I find spending as much time outside in the nature as I can always makes me feel really connected to my surroundings. 

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4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Please don't feel bad that you haven't spoken to your therapist about it yet. You mentioned that you don't know your new therapist that well yet and it can take time to build trust. It's only natural that we need to feel comfortable and really trust a person first before we can open up to someone about what's really going on inside us. Therapy is meant to be a safe space and if you didn't feel ready to bring it up that's absolutely fine. Do you mind me asking, how you are finding therapy so far and is it something you would like to share with your therapist? If you feel ready to talk to them about it but just don't know how to bring it up, maybe you could write it down before your next session and get them to read it. Do you think that might work? And if you don't feel quite ready to share it with them yet, then that's absolutely fine, too.  

Thanks for explaining a bit more what's been going on for you. I was asking about body sensations because sometimes when we feel dissociation it can be part of anxiety or even a panic attack. It's interesting that you mentioned it triggering so much and getting scared of it happening again. Do you think it might be linked to anxiety for you? I'm wondering whether, the next time it happens, you could try and use the grounding exercise that I've mentioned to you before (please let me know if I haven't). Grounding can be really helpful to bring us back into the present moment. What do you think? Also, I find spending as much time outside in the nature as I can always makes me feel really connected to my surroundings. 

Okok so you raise very good points! I’m not a big talker lol so this might be short but it’s still good to talk about it :)

Writing down stuff before therapy can help

my therapy journey has been really bumpy and I am glad for this new person but also nervous cuz I feel guilty for not always knowing exactly what I want to talk about or fix…

I think she does create a safe space, I just sometimes think my own self development can be a hassle 😅🙁 I’m kinda slow to talk, and open up, it makes me feel weird sometimes.

I have a history of panic and anxiety attacks(can someone explain for me the exact difference?? I think I have had both tho I just don’t know exactly) and they have gotten in the way of driving, functioning in daily life, but I am working on them now and I have not had a really bad one for a while now. 

Practicing coping techniques is something I am working on, the grounding one being one of them ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ and sometimes if I have the chance and I really need to, I will just go outside and roll around in the dirt, gravel, steps, and look at the trees.

whatever literally makes me more grounded to haha

thanks for asking and for your advise❤️🙏🏽

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On 5/5/2023 at 4:32 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Okok so you raise very good points! I’m not a big talker lol so this might be short but it’s still good to talk about it :)

Writing down stuff before therapy can help

my therapy journey has been really bumpy and I am glad for this new person but also nervous cuz I feel guilty for not always knowing exactly what I want to talk about or fix…

I think she does create a safe space, I just sometimes think my own self development can be a hassle 😅🙁 I’m kinda slow to talk, and open up, it makes me feel weird sometimes.

I have a history of panic and anxiety attacks(can someone explain for me the exact difference?? I think I have had both tho I just don’t know exactly) and they have gotten in the way of driving, functioning in daily life, but I am working on them now and I have not had a really bad one for a while now. 

Practicing coping techniques is something I am working on, the grounding one being one of them ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ and sometimes if I have the chance and I really need to, I will just go outside and roll around in the dirt, gravel, steps, and look at the trees.

whatever literally makes me more grounded to haha

thanks for asking and for your advise❤️🙏🏽

You're very welcome. I hope it's been helpful to explore this a bit more. I love that you sometimes just go outside and roll around in the dirt and look at the trees ❤️. How does that make you feel? You mentioned that you've been practicing coping techniques and I'm just wondering whether there are any that you've found helpful so far? Also, do you mind me asking, are you still struggling with feeling dissociated and have you noticed any difference at all?

I'm glad to hear that your therapist creates a safe space. When we open up to someone and talk about our worries and fears, it often makes us feel vulnerable and it's only natural that we want to trust the person first. And it takes time to build that trust so please don't feel bad if you don't feel comfortable, talking to your therapist about everything yet. I would imagine that this will come with time.  From what you've been telling me I'm also wondering, whether you're being a bit hard on yourself and maybe putting too much pressure on yourself when it comes to therapy. What do you think? Can you think of some of the thoughts you have around therapy and what might be a more helpful thought to have? 

You were asking about the difference between panic and anxiety attacks. It can be quite confusing as a lot of the symptoms are similar. Basically, one of the big differences is, that a panic attack often comes on very quickly and it's often over very quickly, too. Whereas an anxiety attack often builds up for a while and can last a lot longer. There is often a particular cause or trigger that will start an anxiety attack, whereas a panic attack can appear quite spontaneously and suddenly and doesn't necessarily have a trigger.  And because a panic attack often appears out of nowhere, the symptoms can feel much more intense. I'm really glad to hear that you haven't had a bad one for a while now. Do you mind me asking, what do you think has helped? 

 

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