Callin all of the kids w strict parents 🫠

[TinyDinos]

What is the strangest rule that your parents ever had for you while growing up (or still have now)?

Ill go first :)  I’ve actually got two: 

first, I wasn’t allowed to watch Disney Channel or Nickelodeon because it was inappropriate. I wasn’t allowed to watch high school musical because of this rule and my moms reasoning was “bc you aren’t in high school yet :/“ I’ve also never watched SpongeBob bc of this.

Second, we’re not allowed to lock doors 🫠 Even when showering :l 

Anybody else got some weird rules???

[Hawthorne11]

Absolutely no computers/ipads/phones, even if I was at another person's house. I didn't use an electronic until I was in kindergarten, and that was in the school computer lab. And that was pretty much the only electronic I touched until we got school chromebooks in 3rd grade. I mean, I kind of get it, but it was stupid sometimes, I wasn't going to play games, I just wanted to look something up. And it's one of the reasons I was a really bad typer. 

[-Aussie-]

no lockng door, no phone in the bedroom,bathrooms or outside. I think not having a phone outside is dumb...

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, TinyTurtles said:

What is the strangest rule that your parents ever had for you while growing up (or still have now)?

Ill go first :)  I’ve actually got two: 

first, I wasn’t allowed to watch Disney Channel or Nickelodeon because it was inappropriate. I wasn’t allowed to watch high school musical because of this rule and my moms reasoning was “bc you aren’t in high school yet :/“ I’ve also never watched SpongeBob bc of this.

Second, we’re not allowed to lock doors 🫠 Even when showering :l 

Anybody else got some weird rules???

Hey there,

Thanks for sharing your weird rules! I saw the one about not being able to lock the door when showering; why is that?

[Equivalent Ways]

On 3/14/2023 at 11:32 AM, TinyTurtles said:

What is the strangest rule that your parents ever had for you while growing up (or still have now)?

Ill go first :)  I’ve actually got two: 

first, I wasn’t allowed to watch Disney Channel or Nickelodeon because it was inappropriate. I wasn’t allowed to watch high school musical because of this rule and my moms reasoning was “bc you aren’t in high school yet :/“ I’ve also never watched SpongeBob bc of this.

Second, we’re not allowed to lock doors 🫠 Even when showering :l 

Anybody else got some weird rules???

Dang! Not allowed to lock doors I mean, we don't lock bedroom doors here and stuff cuz most of our doors don't even have locks, and we actually have a lock picking tool in the house too haha, but that means that like your siblings can just barge in or smth!! Ok but tbh when I am doing smth ~private~ in my room I just barricade my door so it make it really hard for someone to get in

Like, strict parents only make sneaky children, tsk tsk.

But at my dad's house, I could only be on my phone in the living room, not cool.

but it is really bizarre too cuz I was also left to free fall too often when i was younger, like I could just leave and go who-knows-where at my dads, and no one would be there to stop me ;( Glad i lived through the craziness that happened when i was younger

[_Kai_]

We aren't allowed to have ANY electronics in the bathroom even though our parents can, its very odd & unfair

We also aren't allowed to get any type of therapy because we "sHoULd bE aBLe tO tElL oUr OwN pArEnTs"

Edited March 15, 2023 by _Kai_

[TinyDinos]

On 3/15/2023 at 2:48 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thanks for sharing your weird rules! I saw the one about not being able to lock the door when showering; why is that?

We just aren’t allowed to have locked doors in our house lolol

even bedroom doors I’m our old one, but this one doesn’t have locks

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, TinyTurtles said:

We just aren’t allowed to have locked doors in our house lolol

even bedroom doors I’m our old one, but this one doesn’t have locks

Hey,

Okay, just wanted to check! :) 

[CoconutCultist]

For a very short time in my childhood, my older sister (who I shared a room with) would sneak out and steal snacks out of my parents room. Their solution? Locking us in our own room. They legit put a latch on our bedroom door. The only problem was I frequently got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. (I was like 4-5 when this happened) so I wet the bed and then got yelled at when I did so. We figured out how to unlock the latch from the inside, SO THEY GOT ONE THEY NEEDED A KEY FOR!!!

Also I used to lock myself in my closet when I needed time for myself so when I was at school my mom got my stepdad to flip the handle around so it locked from the outside and when I tried to be in my closet by myself my brother locked me in and then unlocked when I screamed for my mom so I would get in trouble. 

We had to write lines whenever we did something wrong (it was like the smallest things to, like forgetting to turn your clothes right side out or leaving a light on) and we had to write 50+ line per 'offense' and then tape in to our wall so we could 'remember the lesson' but all it did is stop me from looking at the wall.

If you lost a library book, my mom would tear your room apart looking for it and then force you to pick it up like you were the one who made the mess. 

My mom and stepdad used to spank me so often I got immune to being spanked

Also I have ADHD and my mom gets mad when I get distracted and takes away my electonics so I 'can't reward myself with music' and then gets mad when I get more distracted.

When I first tried to come out to my mom she said I was 'too young to know' and then banned my from hanging out with my partner

Yeah my mom does shit like that and wonders why I never open up to her

(I feel like I should put a trigger on this but I don't know what to put so yeah)

[Monsoon]

8 hours ago, CoconutCultist said:

For a very short time in my childhood, my older sister (who I shared a room with) would sneak out and steal snacks out of my parents room. Their solution? Locking us in our own room. They legit put a latch on our bedroom door. The only problem was I frequently got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. (I was like 4-5 when this happened) so I wet the bed and then got yelled at when I did so. We figured out how to unlock the latch from the inside, SO THEY GOT ONE THEY NEEDED A KEY FOR!!!

Also I used to lock myself in my closet when I needed time for myself so when I was at school my mom got my stepdad to flip the handle around so it locked from the outside and when I tried to be in my closet by myself my brother locked me in and then unlocked when I screamed for my mom so I would get in trouble. 

We had to write lines whenever we did something wrong (it was like the smallest things to, like forgetting to turn your clothes right side out or leaving a light on) and we had to write 50+ line per 'offense' and then tape in to our wall so we could 'remember the lesson' but all it did is stop me from looking at the wall.

If you lost a library book, my mom would tear your room apart looking for it and then force you to pick it up like you were the one who made the mess. 

My mom and stepdad used to spank me so often I got immune to being spanked

Also I have ADHD and my mom gets mad when I get distracted and takes away my electonics so I 'can't reward myself with music' and then gets mad when I get more distracted.

When I first tried to come out to my mom she said I was 'too young to know' and then banned my from hanging out with my partner

Yeah my mom does shit like that and wonders why I never open up to her

(I feel like I should put a trigger on this but I don't know what to put so yeah)

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing what went on. It sounds like this must have been really upsetting for you; parents aren't supposed to treat their kids like that. How are you feeling about it all? I can see what you said about being spanked as well, and I'm wondering, does any of this still happen at all? By the way, I just want you to know that we are here for you and you can come to us about absolutely anything. Take care and speak soon. 

[CoconutCultist]

5 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing what went on. It sounds like this must have been really upsetting for you; parents aren't supposed to treat their kids like that. How are you feeling about it all? I can see what you said about being spanked as well, and I'm wondering, does any of this still happen at all? By the way, I just want you to know that we are here for you and you can come to us about absolutely anything. Take care and speak soon. 

Most of the really bad stuff only happened when my mom was dating a really shitty guy, so it doesn't really happen any more

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

I just want you to know we've sent a message to check in on confidential support. Can you get back to us there if that's okay? You can see it by clicking 'Confidential Support' at the top of the page. Take are and speak soon. 

[Olivia05]

When I lived with my dad when I was younger he would get kind of abusive if we did the tiniest thing wrong. Like he would spank us until one of us admitted to doing something to the point where we could not sit down, he would also make us do planks and walls it’s and would me and only me take a bag of potatoes so I wouldn’t use the wall to help me stay up and he would also put his foot in my lap while I was sitting on the wall while he had boots on so I could “have more weight and learn my lesson more” one time he made me do a wall sit for about 2 hrs because I kept on falling because I physically couldn’t keep myself up but he didn’t care. Also my sister was trying to toss me a cup so I could get a drink and she accidentally ACCIDENTALLY threw it at my head and my dad threw a plate and a Tupperware lid at her to the point where she had to get stitches and then we stayed at my moms friends house that weekend because she didn’t want us to be near my dad at the time (it was my step mom at the time and now she has full custody of us because I was taken from my parents ordered by court separately) and also he was arrested multiple times (idk the reasons tho probably hitting us) and the only reason my mom stayed with him was so she could make sure she could take all of us with her because she didn’t want to leave any of us behind because she didn’t want us to deal with that. With my bio mom, there wasn’t really any rules because one I stopped living with her when I was five or six and two because she wasn’t even home half the time and my sister who was 9 yrs old at the time would take care of me and my other sister who was like 8 at the time…also she would leave us alone at night and one night she didn’t come home so my sister called my dad and he called the police and our grandpa came to pick us up (my dad was in Alaska so he kind of couldn’t come and get us). Also I am currently 16 and still don’t have a phone so maybe that is a weird rule? Because my mom said that we can get phones when we turn 16 but one my younger sister got her first phone when she like maybe 13? 12 maybe? Idk but I’m 16 and still yet to have a phone…maybe it’s because of all my mental health and how I talk to my friends more about my problems then her but I have started to recently but only because I have to or I’m going to get sent back to a mental hospital because about almost a month ago I got out of one. 

[Monsoon]

45 minutes ago, Emmerson said:

When I lived with my dad when I was younger he would get kind of abusive if we did the tiniest thing wrong. Like he would spank us until one of us admitted to doing something to the point where we could not sit down, he would also make us do planks and walls it’s and would me and only me take a bag of potatoes so I wouldn’t use the wall to help me stay up and he would also put his foot in my lap while I was sitting on the wall while he had boots on so I could “have more weight and learn my lesson more” one time he made me do a wall sit for about 2 hrs because I kept on falling because I physically couldn’t keep myself up but he didn’t care. Also my sister was trying to toss me a cup so I could get a drink and she accidentally ACCIDENTALLY threw it at my head and my dad threw a plate and a Tupperware lid at her to the point where she had to get stitches and then we stayed at my moms friends house that weekend because she didn’t want us to be near my dad at the time (it was my step mom at the time and now she has full custody of us because I was taken from my parents ordered by court separately) and also he was arrested multiple times (idk the reasons tho probably hitting us) and the only reason my mom stayed with him was so she could make sure she could take all of us with her because she didn’t want to leave any of us behind because she didn’t want us to deal with that. With my bio mom, there wasn’t really any rules because one I stopped living with her when I was five or six and two because she wasn’t even home half the time and my sister who was 9 yrs old at the time would take care of me and my other sister who was like 8 at the time…also she would leave us alone at night and one night she didn’t come home so my sister called my dad and he called the police and our grandpa came to pick us up (my dad was in Alaska so he kind of couldn’t come and get us). Also I am currently 16 and still don’t have a phone so maybe that is a weird rule? Because my mom said that we can get phones when we turn 16 but one my younger sister got her first phone when she like maybe 13? 12 maybe? Idk but I’m 16 and still yet to have a phone…maybe it’s because of all my mental health and how I talk to my friends more about my problems then her but I have started to recently but only because I have to or I’m going to get sent back to a mental hospital because about almost a month ago I got out of one. 

Hey @Emmerson

Thank you for sharing all of that with us. I really am grateful that you feel safe enough with us to be able to share all of those experiences with us. I cannot begin to imagine how hard all of that must have been at the time and how hard it still is for you, but I just want you to know that we are here for you and want to help you in whatever way we can. I'm wondering, how does it feel for you to share all of that here? I can imagine that it might be painful to talk about those memories, so if you need to, please make sure you do something nice and relaxing to help yourself calm down. Take care and speak soon.

[Olivia05]

8 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Emmerson

Thank you for sharing all of that with us. I really am grateful that you feel safe enough with us to be able to share all of those experiences with us. I cannot begin to imagine how hard all of that must have been at the time and how hard it still is for you, but I just want you to know that we are here for you and want to help you in whatever way we can. I'm wondering, how does it feel for you to share all of that here? I can imagine that it might be painful to talk about those memories, so if you need to, please make sure you do something nice and relaxing to help yourself calm down. Take care and speak soon.

I mean it isn’t that hard to discuss anymore because that is one of the reasons why I went to the mental hospital and I had to talk about it a lot and tell a lot of people about it because I keep on forgetting that some people don’t know everything that I’ve been through and I just kind of float through life like my mom says and haven’t been really been affected by any of the stuff I’ve been through with my parents and my sister leaving like last year and not talking to us since and I’m just now getting affected by it but I don’t know why but my mom said it’s just my ptsd and how I just go through life kind of emotionless and barely deal with anything if that makes sense? Like sometimes I’ll be like super depressed and it’ll be hard for me to talk about anything and I’ll like burst out crying and not even get a word out and then two seconds later I’ll be laughing because I’m nervous or something. So yeah sometimes it affects me and sometimes it doesn’t if that makes sense? 

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, it makes sense, thank you for telling us more. You've definitely been through a lot, and it's interesting that you have mentioned about how you haven't really been affected by it. I think that when things are really difficult, sometimes, to get through it, the mind will kind of separate itself as best as it can from what's going on to protect you, which can leave you feeling numb and unaffected at times. What do you think about that? Also, I can see what you said about going to the mental hospital. What was that like for you? Did you find it helpful?

[Olivia05]

Hey @Monsoon, I agree with you because a lot of the time I will just feel emotionless at times and not understand y and sometimes it could just be a normal day and I could just have no emotions whatsoever or my emotions could be switching at rapid pace which my mom said I might get/have bipolar disorder because a lot of people on my bio moms side of my family have it and depression is on both sides because before I was born my grandfather (my bio dads dad) committed suicide and sadly succeeded. I mean i never met him but that’s still a sad thing when some succeeds at something like that yk? 
About the mental hospital, it surprisingly was actually kind of fun to be there and I can thank the people that were there with me (the other patients) and the workers for that. I feel like it did help me because since I’ve gotten out I haven’t had thoughts about SH and if I did I could use the coping mechanisms learned there. But I’m also in out patient group therapy (I’m supposed to be in my own therapy but people kind of suck at responding to my mom) and that also helps me because so I can talk abt what happened that day (they happen every Mon, Tues, & Thurs) or something that happening with us in general so I really talk to people that understand it. I’m not saying my family doesn’t understand it because my sister  also used to SH she still might (pretty sure she is and the people she’s with are slowly watching her k*ll herself) but I don’t know because she hasn’t communicated with anyone from this family for months. So I never know. Anyways thank you for letting me vent (even tho that’s only a short summary of the craziness I’ve been through and completely not all of it at all only a small fraction of it)

[Monsoon]

11 hours ago, Emmerson said:

Hey @Monsoon, I agree with you because a lot of the time I will just feel emotionless at times and not understand y and sometimes it could just be a normal day and I could just have no emotions whatsoever or my emotions could be switching at rapid pace which my mom said I might get/have bipolar disorder because a lot of people on my bio moms side of my family have it and depression is on both sides because before I was born my grandfather (my bio dads dad) committed suicide and sadly succeeded. I mean i never met him but that’s still a sad thing when some succeeds at something like that yk? 
About the mental hospital, it surprisingly was actually kind of fun to be there and I can thank the people that were there with me (the other patients) and the workers for that. I feel like it did help me because since I’ve gotten out I haven’t had thoughts about SH and if I did I could use the coping mechanisms learned there. But I’m also in out patient group therapy (I’m supposed to be in my own therapy but people kind of suck at responding to my mom) and that also helps me because so I can talk abt what happened that day (they happen every Mon, Tues, & Thurs) or something that happening with us in general so I really talk to people that understand it. I’m not saying my family doesn’t understand it because my sister  also used to SH she still might (pretty sure she is and the people she’s with are slowly watching her k*ll herself) but I don’t know because she hasn’t communicated with anyone from this family for months. So I never know. Anyways thank you for letting me vent (even tho that’s only a short summary of the craziness I’ve been through and completely not all of it at all only a small fraction of it)

Hey there,

It sounds like you have definitely been through a lot, and so have your family. You must be pretty strong to have been able to get through all of this; you've had a lot to deal with and none of that is easy, but I am glad that you are accessing support, such as the mental hospital and going to therapy too. How are you finding the therapy? Also, I can see what you said about your sister, and I can imagine you must be pretty worried about her. How are you feeling about it? Do you know if she is safe at the moment? 

[Olivia05]

44 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you have definitely been through a lot, and so have your family. You must be pretty strong to have been able to get through all of this; you've had a lot to deal with and none of that is easy, but I am glad that you are accessing support, such as the mental hospital and going to therapy too. How are you finding the therapy? Also, I can see what you said about your sister, and I can imagine you must be pretty worried about her. How are you feeling about it? Do you know if she is safe at the moment? 

I have been in and out of therapy since 2016 because I don’t like opening up to new people a lot because I feel like every time I do open up to people they could either use things against me(which has happened before) or just not care(also has happened to me before as well) and the therapists think I’m fine until like a year or two ago when I started SH (I’m now a month and 3 days clean) at first it was like once every like 3 or so months not that major but it was like every time I couldn’t hold anymore and my “bottle” was overfilled with emotions and I needed to release some of them and for some reason my mind went immediately to that and thinking that would solve all my problems. Now that I think about it it’s not good ik but when I can’t handle anything more (respectfully my “bottle for my emotions” is kind of big…it’s like a bucket because I can handle a lot before I snap) ik I need to talk to someone but I just feel like I’ve never had that ability to do so because my mom is always working, sleeping because she works hard and long hours (not really long hours just a lot of stuff crammed into 7 hrs) or talking to one of my siblings because they have something going on or she just needs to have a moment by herself because of stress and anxiety and I respect that. Maybe a bit too much because I don’t talk to her barley abt any of my problems and ig that’s why I’m having trouble coming out to her because I just don’t know how to ig (I don’t know how to word it) 

About my sister, I don’t know how she is because she does not try to reach out to any of us. I mean I guess I worry about her but I don’t realize because I guess she’s part of the reason why I was in the mental hospital because I mean she’s my sister (bio) and I mean I would have to agree with my mom when she said that it might be because I felt a sort of abandonment from her when she left and not tried to stay in touch (the reason she left was because she was talking talking to someone who we thought was a family friend and (keep in mind he has a wife and two children) my mom asked both of them to repeatedly stop because it was not ok at all (he waited until her 18th birthday to text her) but they didn’t listen and then she kicked her out). 
I honestly don’t know how I’m feeling about any of this tbh because now that I have to rethink abt everything it’s kind of all mixed emotions over here. But thank you for listening to me.

[Monsoon]

10 hours ago, Emmerson said:

I have been in and out of therapy since 2016 because I don’t like opening up to new people a lot because I feel like every time I do open up to people they could either use things against me(which has happened before) or just not care(also has happened to me before as well) and the therapists think I’m fine until like a year or two ago when I started SH (I’m now a month and 3 days clean) at first it was like once every like 3 or so months not that major but it was like every time I couldn’t hold anymore and my “bottle” was overfilled with emotions and I needed to release some of them and for some reason my mind went immediately to that and thinking that would solve all my problems. Now that I think about it it’s not good ik but when I can’t handle anything more (respectfully my “bottle for my emotions” is kind of big…it’s like a bucket because I can handle a lot before I snap) ik I need to talk to someone but I just feel like I’ve never had that ability to do so because my mom is always working, sleeping because she works hard and long hours (not really long hours just a lot of stuff crammed into 7 hrs) or talking to one of my siblings because they have something going on or she just needs to have a moment by herself because of stress and anxiety and I respect that. Maybe a bit too much because I don’t talk to her barley abt any of my problems and ig that’s why I’m having trouble coming out to her because I just don’t know how to ig (I don’t know how to word it) 

About my sister, I don’t know how she is because she does not try to reach out to any of us. I mean I guess I worry about her but I don’t realize because I guess she’s part of the reason why I was in the mental hospital because I mean she’s my sister (bio) and I mean I would have to agree with my mom when she said that it might be because I felt a sort of abandonment from her when she left and not tried to stay in touch (the reason she left was because she was talking talking to someone who we thought was a family friend and (keep in mind he has a wife and two children) my mom asked both of them to repeatedly stop because it was not ok at all (he waited until her 18th birthday to text her) but they didn’t listen and then she kicked her out). 
I honestly don’t know how I’m feeling about any of this tbh because now that I have to rethink abt everything it’s kind of all mixed emotions over here. But thank you for listening to me.

Hey there,

It sounds like you don't feel as if you have people that you can talk to properly about things in your life at the moment, or rather, there are people around you, but you struggle to open up to them. What do you think about that? I'm really glad to hear that you have been able to not SH for a month and three days now, that's really good. What do you think has helped you to cope recently then?

[Avyavastha]

Stupidest rule was probably this ; never speak up around other people.

whenever ‘guests’ were at my parent’s house, I would lock myself in my room, and NOT come out unless I was yelled at to come out. My mom didn’t like that, so she would ‘discipline’ me, after the people had left. And she wonders why I flinch around her.

[Monsoon]

4 hours ago, Ciaran said:

Stupidest rule was probably this ; never speak up around other people.

whenever ‘guests’ were at my parent’s house, I would lock myself in my room, and NOT come out unless I was yelled at to come out. My mom didn’t like that, so she would ‘discipline’ me, after the people had left. And she wonders why I flinch around her.

Hey there,

Thank you for telling us about this. I can see what you said around how you flinch around her, and I'm wondering, are you able to tell us more about what she did to you? I know this might be hard to relive if it was hard for you, but I just want you to know that we want to make sure you're okay, so that's why we sometimes ask difficult questions. If you'd prefer to talk confidentially, I have sent a message on confidential support, so feel free to get back to me there. 

[Olivia05]

8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

It sounds like you don't feel as if you have people that you can talk to properly about things in your life at the moment, or rather, there are people around you, but you struggle to open up to them. What do you think about that? I'm really glad to hear that you have been able to not SH for a month and three days now, that's really good. What do you think has helped you to cope recently then?

Hey @Monsoon, I just felt that when I was living with my dad I couldn’t say anything right around him and I guess that feeling is still with me with my mom but not at the same time because I know I can talk to her but I just feel that people always judge me because of things I say…

i guess that my medicine has helped me a bit but I recently ran out of my medicine and now that I’ve been recently trying to come out to my mom it’s been kinda stressful…I mean it’s not because I think she won’t support me but it’s just I don’t know what I am going to say because every time I try and tell her it’s just too stressful for me to even say anything/come up with the words….if that makes sense?

[Monsoon]

Hey @Emmerson

It's completely normal to feel like you might be judged for what you say, especially when you have been in a situation where someone has been quite critical. On the other hand, I am glad that your medicine has been helping, and I'm wondering, are you able to get more at all? Also, that's good that you've been trying to come out to her, and I just want you to know that it's completely normal to feel stressed about it, and that's okay. I'm curious, if you had a friend wanting to come out to their mom, what advice would you give them around what to say?

By the way, I am off now until 17th April, so if you need more support, please reply and say that here, make a new topic, or send us a confidential support request, thanks!

[Olivia05]

11 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @Emmerson

It's completely normal to feel like you might be judged for what you say, especially when you have been in a situation where someone has been quite critical. On the other hand, I am glad that your medicine has been helping, and I'm wondering, are you able to get more at all? Also, that's good that you've been trying to come out to her, and I just want you to know that it's completely normal to feel stressed about it, and that's okay. I'm curious, if you had a friend wanting to come out to their mom, what advice would you give them around what to say?

By the way, I am off now until 17th April, so if you need more support, please reply and say that here, make a new topic, or send us a confidential support request, thanks!

My medicine, yes I am able to get more but I have to go to an appointment for it and they won’t answer my mom so I’ve yet to go. 
If I had a friend trying to come out, honestly? I don’t know what I’d say but if I had to say something like right there on the spot I would just offer them to just get their parents either separately or together (if they’re trying to come out to both and they live with both) and just say that if they have any questions to wait until they’re done talking and then just say what they have to say or if they can’t figure out what to say, say it on paper.

But I mean it’s not that I’m having trouble saying it, it’s the questions after that are kind of scaring me. And I guess starting the conversation as well because I wouldn’t know where to start. 
If I need help with anything I’ll for sure let you know thanks!