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How do I tell my loved ones?


mayunn
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Hi all! I've been going through a lot with my mental health for a while and I just wish I knew how to tell my loved ones. I'm already talking to a counselor and a therapist but there are certain things I can't tell them such as that I am having suicidal thoughts, because then they would report me to my parents and my home life is really complicated. I know that my parents would tell me I'm faking it for attention and that I need to "fix" myself. I want to tell my loved ones (specifically my boyfriend and my friends) about what I'm going through but I feel like it'll just put them under more stress. I know that this would be a big step for me though, I just don't know how to approach it. 

Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks!

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1 hour ago, mayunn said:

Hi all! I've been going through a lot with my mental health for a while and I just wish I knew how to tell my loved ones. I'm already talking to a counselor and a therapist but there are certain things I can't tell them such as that I am having suicidal thoughts, because then they would report me to my parents and my home life is really complicated. I know that my parents would tell me I'm faking it for attention and that I need to "fix" myself. I want to tell my loved ones (specifically my boyfriend and my friends) about what I'm going through but I feel like it'll just put them under more stress. I know that this would be a big step for me though, I just don't know how to approach it. 

Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks!

Hey @mayunn

I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us.

I'm sorry that you have been struggling with your mental health and have been experiencing suicidal thoughts, but I'm really glad you feel able to share this with us here. It must be hard for you knowing that your parents wouldn't react in a helpful way, and I can imagine you feel alone in this. However, I just want to let you know that we are here for you, and you're not alone. We've got your back. This is a completely safe and non-judgemental space where you can express yourself freely. Just going back to what you said about the suicidal thoughts, I want to ask, have you made a plan to take your own life? It’s okay to be open about this as it will allow me to help you more. Just incase you need it, here is some safety information if you are in crisis: 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • https://kidshelpphone.ca/urgent-help - You can text, message them online, or call them on the number listed on this page (they are available 24/7)
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 
  • If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

We hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

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18 minutes ago, Monsoon said:

Hey @mayunn

I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us.

I'm sorry that you have been struggling with your mental health and have been experiencing suicidal thoughts, but I'm really glad you feel able to share this with us here. It must be hard for you knowing that your parents wouldn't react in a helpful way, and I can imagine you feel alone in this. However, I just want to let you know that we are here for you, and you're not alone. We've got your back. This is a completely safe and non-judgemental space where you can express yourself freely. Just going back to what you said about the suicidal thoughts, I want to ask, have you made a plan to take your own life? It’s okay to be open about this as it will allow me to help you more. Just incase you need it, here is some safety information if you are in crisis: 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • https://kidshelpphone.ca/urgent-help - You can text, message them online, or call them on the number listed on this page (they are available 24/7)
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 
  • If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

We hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

Hi. Yes I've made a plan before but I don't want to or plan on going through with it. I've already reached out to other resources. I'd just like advice on how to tell my friends and other loved ones.

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45 minutes ago, mayunn said:

Hi. Yes I've made a plan before but I don't want to or plan on going through with it. I've already reached out to other resources. I'd just like advice on how to tell my friends and other loved ones.

Hey there,

I'm glad you don't want to plan or go through with it. If you do start to feel unsafe, please do reach out to a crisis helpline or call the emergency services as they will both be able to help you. 

Also, it's positive that you want to tell your friends and other loved ones. I think that for your loved ones, you could maybe write them a letter if you would find it easier than doing it face-to-face. In terms of what you would actually say, maybe give them a bit of history, such as how long you've been feeling this way and how it has been affecting your life. What do you think?

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9 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

I'm glad you don't want to plan or go through with it. If you do start to feel unsafe, please do reach out to a crisis helpline or call the emergency services as they will both be able to help you. 

Also, it's positive that you want to tell your friends and other loved ones. I think that for your loved ones, you could maybe write them a letter if you would find it easier than doing it face-to-face. In terms of what you would actually say, maybe give them a bit of history, such as how long you've been feeling this way and how it has been affecting your life. What do you think?

I think writing a letter would work really well. Thank you for giving me an idea of how to tell them and what to say. 

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2 hours ago, mayunn said:

I think writing a letter would work really well. Thank you for giving me an idea of how to tell them and what to say. 

Hey there,

You're welcome. I'm wondering, would you like to fill out a safety plan with us? If you don't know what that is, it's basically a plan to follow which helps you to stay safe when you are struggling, and they're really helpful fpr people who are thinking of taking their life. 

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On 12/14/2022 at 1:27 AM, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

You're welcome. I'm wondering, would you like to fill out a safety plan with us? If you don't know what that is, it's basically a plan to follow which helps you to stay safe when you are struggling, and they're really helpful fpr people who are thinking of taking their life. 

Yes I think that'd be really helpful !!

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Hey,

How are you feeling today? Also, here's the questions. Would you like to fill them out and share the answers with us? :) 

  • What I need to do to reduce the risk of me acting on the suicidal thoughts:
  • What warning signs or triggers are there that make me feel more out of control?
  • What have I done in the past that helped? What ways of coping do I have?
  • What I will do to help calm and soothe myself:
  • What I will tell myself (as alternatives to the dark thoughts):
  • What would I say to a close friend who was feeling this way?
  • What could others do that would help?
  • Who can I call:
  • A safe place I can go to:

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