I cant 😭

[-Leila-]

3 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, I find thunderstorms can have that effect on us. I always feel like there is so much energy being released when it's thundering and lighting. 

You're doing really well! There will be lots of ups and downs during recovery and you're also dealing with a very difficult loss. That's a lot to deal with. It sounds like talking to the nurses helps when you are feeling down. Can you think of anything else at all that you use to calm down and feel better? 

Yeah the thunder and lightning and stopped but its pouring it down I hate this weather. I find drawing helps. I drew a eye here at the hospital but it isn't the best but it helped calm my panic attack

[Aurora]

15 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

Yeah the thunder and lightning and stopped but its pouring it down I hate this weather. I find drawing helps. I drew a eye here at the hospital but it isn't the best but it helped calm my panic attack

Oh wow, that's really good! Very expressive - I love the details, too. You're clearly talented at drawing.

Drawing is a great stress relief. What do you think it is about drawing that makes you feel calmer? 

[-Leila-]

5 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Oh wow, that's really good! Very expressive - I love the details, too. You're clearly talented at drawing.

Drawing is a great stress relief. What do you think it is about drawing that makes you feel calmer? 

Being able to express myself through drawing! I took art as a GCSE haha ! I did well but I just love expressing myself through drawing

[Aurora]

Just now, Leilaaaa said:

Being able to express myself through drawing! I took art as a GCSE haha ! I did well but I just love expressing myself through drawing

That's great!

[-Leila-]

13 minutes ago, Aurora said:

That's great!

Might draw something else today. I think I will! Hopefully when it's done it will look okay lol

[Aurora]

11 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

Might draw something else today. I think I will! Hopefully when it's done it will look okay lol

That sounds like a good idea . Feel free to share it on here if you like. We'd love to see it. You could even start a new tribe or blog post for your drawings on here if you like (if you think there will be more). Only of you're comfortable though -I know drawings can feel very private and there is obviously no pressure to share. You might prefer to keep them to yourself

[-Leila-]

18 minutes ago, Aurora said:

That sounds like a good idea . Feel free to share it on here if you like. We'd love to see it. You could even start a new tribe or blog post for your drawings on here if you like (if you think there will be more). Only of you're comfortable though -I know drawings can feel very private and there is obviously no pressure to share. You might prefer to keep them to yourself

Of course! Good idea!

[-Leila-]

I want to be gone  

[Monsoon]

Hey there,

Yeah, you're absolutely trying your best. You have come such a long way, and you're going to continue getting better and better; we really do believe in you :)

It sounds like challenging those harmful thoughts by thinking about what is best for your health in the moment is working for you right now, such as telling yourself you need the tube to survive - what do you think?

[-Leila-]

Its sad to know I won't survive long without the tube, but unfortunately we all can not go through life bring happy and in good shape/health. Its life. I wish I didn't suffer from Anorexia, as that'd what caused the nurses and doctors to put me on the tube ad I was really underweight. I haven't put on weight but that won't happen straight away unfortunately .

Feel rough this evening, everything hurts including my burn which is thrombin. Can't believe in 4 months I'm 18. Honestly scares me because I'm not even like any person my age. I'm just a lost girl holding on for nothing. Honestly, scares me that when I'm eventually let out of here I'll be seeing people my age and that they'll be a healthy weight and won't get bullied because they don't look like me who looks like a skeleton. Honestly don't want to have to go back into society my appearance will drop dramatically not saying its made progress that's because no one in hospital except for doctors and nurses get to see me so when I do go out I'll be stared and probably talked about. I'm not looking forward to it . 

 

[-Leila-]

Help me. I need to talk to someone. What do I do. I was talking with this guy on tiktok and my phone number and he got annoyed because this guy called me leng and now he's called me a anorexic sl!t

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

Help me. I need to talk to someone. What do I do. I was talking with this guy on tiktok and my phone number and he got annoyed because this guy called me leng and now he's called me a anorexic sl!t

Hey Leila,

I think that you're really good at putting up with something you don't like that is helping you, such as the tube, and this shows that you're focusing on the long-term and can see the bigger picture which shows how much you want to progress which is great. 

The concerns you've just written about all make complete sense - thank you for explaining so well. However, remember, comparing yourself to others will lead you down a dark path and make you unhappy, so try to avoid that if you can. What do you think?

Also, I'm sorry to hear about what the guy called. How are you feeling about that?

[-Leila-]

10 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey Leila,

I think that you're really good at putting up with something you don't like that is helping you, such as the tube, and this shows that you're focusing on the long-term and can see the bigger picture which shows how much you want to progress which is great. 

The concerns you've just written about all make complete sense - thank you for explaining so well. However, remember, comparing yourself to others will lead you down a dark path and make you unhappy, so try to avoid that if you can. What do you think?

Also, I'm sorry to hear about what the guy called. How are you feeling about that?

I'm not feeling good honestly  

[-Leila-]

. I reported him and his account has been banned. But its not my fault I'm underweight or that I have Anorexia. Like I'm just trying to get better

[Aurora]

2 hours ago, Leilaaaa said:

. I reported him and his account has been banned. But its not my fault I'm underweight or that I have Anorexia. Like I'm just trying to get better

It sounds like you were very proactive and stood up for yourself. How did that make you feel? And how are you feeling now? 

[-Leila-]

4 minutes ago, Aurora said:

It sounds like you were very proactive and stood up for yourself. How did that make you feel? And how are you feeling now? 

I just want to loose weight . I dont feel good

[Aurora]

1 minute ago, Leilaaaa said:

I just want to loose weight . I dont feel good

Do you mind sharing, what kind of thoughts pop into your head when you want to lose weight? And can you think of what might be a more helpful thought to have in that situation? 

[-Leila-]

30 minutes ago, Aurora said:

Do you mind sharing, what kind of thoughts pop into your head when you want to lose weight? And can you think of what might be a more helpful thought to have in that situation? 

That I have to much on me. And I want to see absolutely no skin that I can pull on me. So I want to be flat. I weigh 6st.

[Aurora]

1 minute ago, Leilaaaa said:

That I have to much on me. And I want to see absolutely no skin that I can pull on me. So I want to be flat. I weigh 6st.

Thanks for sharing. What can sometimes help in these situations is to notice that we are having these thoughts and to acknowledge that they are not very helpful for our recovery. Then we can try and change these unhelpful thoughts into more helpful and healthy alternative thoughts. One way of doing this is to try and take out all the emotion from our thoughts and think about it rationally. And if we can't think of a healthy alternative we can try and think about what we would say to a friend, if they had these thoughts or even a young child. Would you like to give that a go and see if you can come up with a more helpful alternative thought?

[-Leila-]

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Thanks for sharing. What can sometimes help in these situations is to notice that we are having these thoughts and to acknowledge that they are not very helpful for our recovery. Then we can try and change these unhelpful thoughts into more helpful and healthy alternative thoughts. One way of doing this is to try and take out all the emotion from our thoughts and think about it rationally. And if we can't think of a healthy alternative we can try and think about what we would say to a friend, if they had these thoughts or even a young child. Would you like to give that a go and see if you can come up with a more helpful alternative thought?

I'm not sure what I'd say to someone in my situation. I wouldn't say anything negative but I'm not sure

[Monsoon]

52 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

I'm not sure what I'd say to someone in my situation. I wouldn't say anything negative but I'm not sure

Hey,

I think that it might be helpful to think about the thoughts you're having around wanting to be 6st and not being able to see skin that you can pull. If you achieved that, what would that mean for your life and your health?

[-Leila-]

2 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I think that it might be helpful to think about the thoughts you're having around wanting to be 6st and not being able to see skin that you can pull. If you achieved that, what would that mean for your life and your health?

I'm already 6st. 

[-Leila-]

But it's life

[-Leila-]

What do I do if someone's suicidal 

[Monsoon]

28 minutes ago, Leilaaaa said:

What do I do if someone's suicidal 

Hey there,

Can I ask, who is it that is suicidal? If you are concerned that they are unsafe, you should call the emergency services and ask them to do a welfare check on the person; this is where they check that the person is emotionally well. If they have made a plan and are about to act on it, let the police know and give them all the details you know of the person, including where they might be. There are also emergency crisis lines they can call as well, and there's a list of numbers worldwide here: https://www.befrienders.org

Ultimately, it's really important to be there for them and try to understand what they are going through. You could also let someone know who is in their life as well that may be able to help; this is really important if the person is a child as well, so you should tell the parents. What do you think?