I'm starting to question my gender

[VIVIEN_]

This year I have really discovered myself, finding out I'm bisexual and asexual. I also thought I was trans and was planning on coming out when I'm 18, since I live in a very homophobic house. But I'm starting to question whether I'm trans or not. I mean I've always wanted to be a boy but sometimes I like being a girl. I have thought about me being gender-fluid. I've never really cared about my gender nor seen myself as a girl or boy, just as me. I could be non-binary but I'm not sure. I know I shouldn't rush things and take the time to figure it out. But it's really confusing me, and I really want to know my gender. I would love some advice.

[Emberfrost12]

Just now, VIVIEN_ said:

This year I have really discovered myself, finding out I'm bisexual and asexual. I also thought I was trans and was planning on coming out when I'm 18, since I live in a very homophobic house. But I'm starting to question whether I'm trans or not. I mean I've always wanted to be a boy but sometimes I like being a girl. I have thought about me being gender-fluid. I've never really cared about my gender nor seen myself as a girl or boy, just as me. I could be non-binary but I'm not sure. I know I shouldn't rush things and take the time to figure it out. But it's really confusing me, and I really want to know my gender. I would love some advice.

My advice would be to trust your gut. If you feel like you may be genderfluid, maybe try plotting the gender you feel daily? that could also help figure out your gender if you're not gender-fluid. Hope this helps :)

[VIVIEN_]

Just now, Emberfrost12 said:

My advice would be to trust your gut. If you feel like you may be genderfluid, maybe try plotting the gender you feel daily? that could also help figure out your gender if you're not gender-fluid. Hope this helps :)

Thanks, I'll try that.

[Emberfrost12]

24 minutes ago, VIVIEN_ said:

Thanks, I'll try that.

Tell me how it goes

[urfavekpopstan !]

1 hour ago, VIVIEN_ said:

This year I have really discovered myself, finding out I'm bisexual and asexual. I also thought I was trans and was planning on coming out when I'm 18, since I live in a very homophobic house. But I'm starting to question whether I'm trans or not. I mean I've always wanted to be a boy but sometimes I like being a girl. I have thought about me being gender-fluid. I've never really cared about my gender nor seen myself as a girl or boy, just as me. I could be non-binary but I'm not sure. I know I shouldn't rush things and take the time to figure it out. But it's really confusing me, and I really want to know my gender. I would love some advice.

Hey,

Just like you said, you don't have to rush things. Gender is something that can change for some people, its okay to question :)

[Aurora]

On 7/13/2022 at 11:32 PM, VIVIEN_ said:

Thanks, I'll try that.

Hi @VIVIEN_ I'm Aurora, I'm one of the support mentors here. I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Did you try @Emberfrost12 advice and how did you get on? 

[VIVIEN_]

On 7/22/2022 at 6:32 AM, Aurora said:

Hi @VIVIEN_ I'm Aurora, I'm one of the support mentors here. I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Did you try @Emberfrost12 advice and how did you get on? 

Hi Aurora.

I did and I kinda figured out I'm gender fluid. But my sister kept telling me that the lgbtq+ community is bad. She said it was just a phase and next year I'll be over it. Now I'm questioning whether I'm bi/asexual or if it's just phase.

[Emberfrost12]

5 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

Hi Aurora.

I did and I kinda figured out I'm gender fluid. But my sister kept telling me that the lgbtq+ community is bad. She said it was just a phase and next year I'll be over it. Now I'm questioning whether I'm bi/asexual or if it's just phase.

I don't think it's a phase. Sexuality can be fluid, so it may change, but it is STILL NOT A PHASE

[Monsoon]

18 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

Hi Aurora.

I did and I kinda figured out I'm gender fluid. But my sister kept telling me that the lgbtq+ community is bad. She said it was just a phase and next year I'll be over it. Now I'm questioning whether I'm bi/asexual or if it's just phase.

Hey,

Yeah, the same as Emberfrost said,  sexuality is fluid, but these feelings are valid and mean something to you and it's important to recognise them and not listen to people who tell you it's a phase; you are who you are. What do you think?

[VIVIEN_]

13 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

Yeah, the same as Emberfrost said,  sexuality is fluid, but these feelings are valid and mean something to you and it's important to recognise them and not listen to people who tell you it's a phase; you are who you are. What do you think?

Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just hard hearing it from my sister

[Monsoon]

10 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just hard hearing it from my sister

Yeah, I totally get why that is hard to hear. What would it be like for you to tell her how that made you feel if you haven't already?

[VIVIEN_]

8 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Yeah, I totally get why that is hard to hear. What would it be like for you to tell her how that made you feel if you haven't already?

I don't think I will ever tell her. But she'd probably say, "sorry but it is just a phase. I thought I was part of lgbtq+ too, but I'm not."

[Monsoon]

1 hour ago, VIVIEN_ said:

I don't think I will ever tell her. But she'd probably say, "sorry but it is just a phase. I thought I was part of lgbtq+ too, but I'm not."

I'm wondering though, how would it feel for you to tell her that? Even if she doesn't agree, could it be helpful for you to maybe communicate your feelings around this to get them out of your system? 

[VIVIEN_]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

I'm wondering though, how would it feel for you to tell her that? Even if she doesn't agree, could it be helpful for you to maybe communicate your feelings around this to get them out of your system? 

Nice but I'd regret it. Maybe, but I've never been able to communicate my feelings. Usually when I do I immediately regret it.

[Monsoon]

12 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

Nice but I'd regret it. Maybe, but I've never been able to communicate my feelings. Usually when I do I immediately regret it.

Can you tell me more about why you would regret that?

[VIVIEN_]

10 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Can you tell me more about why you would regret that?

I just feel like I'm burning them with my feelings. And I'm scared of how they'll react. Like would they say I'm overreacting or that it's not about me?

[Monsoon]

15 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

I just feel like I'm burning them with my feelings. And I'm scared of how they'll react. Like would they say I'm overreacting or that it's not about me?

Hey,

I think that even though you're scared of how they'll react, it's important to communicate how you feel, even if they don't like it. What do you think? 

[VIVIEN_]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey,

I think that even though you're scared of how they'll react, it's important to communicate how you feel, even if they don't like it. What do you think? 

*Burdening them, sorry.

I'm not sure I can do that. 

[Monsoon]

3 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

*Burdening them, sorry.

I'm not sure I can do that. 

That's okay, maybe have a think about it. I get why you're hesitant to do it, but there is power to be found in expressing how you feel regardless of how other people might react, and knowing that your feelings are valid no matter what anyone says. What do you think?

[VIVIEN_]

I just want to keep it to myself. Even if it hurts.

[VIVIEN_]

On 7/13/2022 at 5:57 PM, Emberfrost12 said:

Tell me how it goes

Sorry it took so long for me to reply.

It worked and it looks like I'm genderfluid

[Monsoon]

9 hours ago, VIVIEN_ said:

I just want to keep it to myself. Even if it hurts.

Hey,

Yeah, I totally get that you would want to keep it to yourself, especially because of the potential negative reactions of others around you. I just want you to know that you can always let your feelings out here, and remember, the best way to process your emotions is to talk about them. What do you think?