Questioning

[Coleson]

Hi i am a 17 year old boy and i think i am bi. How can you be positive you are actually bi? I think i have a crush on a guy. 

Also, i was wondering if i should tell my parents but i wonder how they will react because my family is mormon. I just need some advice.

[Coleson]

I have been questioning my sexuality lately and i think i like a guy but i also like a girl. What do i do? (im a guy)

[Monsoon]

6 hours ago, Coleson said:

Hi i am a 17 year old boy and i think i am bi. How can you be positive you are actually bi? I think i have a crush on a guy. 

Also, i was wondering if i should tell my parents but i wonder how they will react because my family is mormon. I just need some advice.

Hey Coleson,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us :)

I think that in order to be certain about your sexuality, you need to try new things and have different experiences to see what you like and don't like. What do you think?

Also, with your parents, how do you think they'll react? 

[Molly9090]

Hi @Coleson!

 

I found out I was bi a few days ago, after around 2+ years of consideration.

Well, the definition of bisexual is basically when you're attracted to two or more genders (not to be confused with pansexual, which is basically loving people for being who they are, regardless of gender). Usually, the genders bisexuals are attracted to are (but sometimes not limited to) men and women. Some bisexuals experience an equal attraction between men and women, whereas some may be more attracted to men, and vice versa. What I suggest is that you look over your sexuality and give yourself some more time to figure things out. While you're at it, ask yourself questions like; "Do I like guys and girls, and (if needed) are there any other genders that I have a preference for?", or; "Can I imagine/see myself dating, and having a good emotional/sexual relationship with a boy and a girl?" (you don't have to imagine being in the same relationship with a boy and a girl, unless you prefer polygamy, just try to imagine yourself being romantically involved with a boy on one hand, then a girl on the other, and try to work out to see if you like it., which is part of what @Monsoon suggested. The important thing is to take things at your own pace, and don't rush at all. If you're feeling up to it, you can try experimenting with the same and opposite sex to see how it goes to see if you like it or not. I suggest that you should also do some more research on the bi terms, and see if they apply to you! You might also want to research other terms that may be slightly similar, such as pansexual, omnisexual, and polysexual just to differentiate, and see what matches with you while you're considering things. Good luck with figuring things out! Just remember that no one in this world but yourself has the right to tell you what your sexual preferences, genders, or pronouns are.  :)

Also, do you usually talk about or discuss LGTBQ+ related topics with your parents? If not, you could try asking them what they think of the community to see how they react. 

 

 

 

 

[Coleson]

4 hours ago, Monsoon said:

Hey Coleson,

Welcome to the DTL community. I'm one of the digital mentors here and I give advice to those who reach out to us :)

I think that in order to be certain about your sexuality, you need to try new things and have different experiences to see what you like and don't like. What do you think?

Also, with your parents, how do you think they'll react? 

Well i would like to try stuff but i don't know anyone in my area who is lgbtq+. I have been researching online about it and thinking about it and i think i am bi.  Also i don't want my parents to know until i am certain about my sexuality. My parents are very old fashion and i don't think they would be the most welcoming of it.  They are pretty anti lgbtq. I am leaving in a few months to go to school out of the country so i thought it may be a good idea to tell them before i leave.

[Coleson]

4 hours ago, Molly9090 said:

Hi @Coleson!

I found out I was bi a few days ago, after around 2+ years of consideration.

Well, the definition of bisexual is basically when you're attracted to two or more genders (not to be confused with pansexual, which is basically loving people for being who they are, regardless of gender). Usually, the genders bisexuals are attracted to are (but sometimes not limited to) men and women. Some bisexuals experience an equal attraction between men and women, whereas some may be more attracted to men, and vice versa. What I suggest is that you look over your sexuality and give yourself some more time to figure things out. While you're at it, ask yourself questions like; "Do I like guys and girls, and (if needed) are there any other genders that I have a preference for?", or; "Can I imagine/see myself dating, and having a good emotional/sexual relationship with a boy and a girl?" (you don't have to imagine being in the same relationship with a boy and a girl, unless you prefer polygamy, just try to imagine yourself being romantically involved with a boy on one hand, then a girl on the other, and try to work out to see if you like it., which is part of what @Monsoon suggested. The important thing is to take things at your own pace, and don't rush at all. If you're feeling up to it, you can try experimenting with the same and opposite sex to see how it goes to see if you like it or not. I suggest that you should also do some more research on the bi terms, and see if they apply to you! You might also want to research other terms that may be slightly similar, such as pansexual, omnisexual, and polysexual just to differentiate, and see what matches with you while you're considering things. Good luck with figuring things out! Just remember that no one in this world but yourself has the right to tell you what your sexual preferences, genders, or pronouns are.  :)

Also, do you usually talk about or discuss LGTBQ+ related topics with your parents? If not, you could try asking them what they think of the community to see how they react. 

Yea that is good advice. I have reasrched it and i think i am bi but just not sure. I can see myself being with girls (i have been with girls before) and guys. I just am worry about how people would react if i dated a guy. I am also open to dating Nonbiary people. My parents are mormon and mormons are not accepting of lgbtq. I have not told them yet that i do not belive in the church anymore. 

[Monsoon]

3 hours ago, Coleson said:

Well i would like to try stuff but i don't know anyone in my area who is lgbtq+. I have been researching online about it and thinking about it and i think i am bi.  Also i don't want my parents to know until i am certain about my sexuality. My parents are very old fashion and i don't think they would be the most welcoming of it.  They are pretty anti lgbtq. I am leaving in a few months to go to school out of the country so i thought it may be a good idea to tell them before i leave.

Hey there,

That’s interesting that you’re now thinking you’re bi. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being super confident and 1 being not confident at all, how confident would you say you are about your sexuality? 
 

Also, how do you think your parents will react? 

[Coleson]

1 hour ago, Monsoon said:

Hey there,

That’s interesting that you’re now thinking you’re bi. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being super confident and 1 being not confident at all, how confident would you say you are about your sexuality? 
 

Also, how do you think your parents will react? 

I am like7/10 that i am bi. I just still wonder about it because i have never been with someone of the same gender. I think my parents will be shocked. They probably wouldnt understand what that means. Also i worry if i tell them i am bi they will just say "oh just date girls then". what can i say to that?

[Monsoon]

16 hours ago, Coleson said:

I am like7/10 that i am bi. I just still wonder about it because i have never been with someone of the same gender. I think my parents will be shocked. They probably wouldnt understand what that means. Also i worry if i tell them i am bi they will just say "oh just date girls then". what can i say to that?

Hey there,

I'm thinking then, do you feel it could be helpful to date someone of the same gender? Although your parents may not understand at first, could it get better with time, especially with you educating them? Also, if I said you to that you should just date girls after you told me you were bi, what do you think you'd say? 

[Coleson]

I think it would be good to date guys but i am not sure if i wanna tell my parents yet. How do you start to date guys? how do you know if they are attracted to guys? I would probably say that i do not choose who i am attracted too and i can be with girls and guys.

[Monsoon]

2 hours ago, Coleson said:

I think it would be good to date guys but i am not sure if i wanna tell my parents yet. How do you start to date guys? how do you know if they are attracted to guys? I would probably say that i do not choose who i am attracted too and i can be with girls and guys.

Hey there,

You could find them on dating apps; would you be up for trying them? 

[Coleson]

There is dating apps for teens? what are they?

 

[Harper]

12 minutes ago, Coleson said:

There is dating apps for teens? what are they?

Just to jump in and say that dating apps are generally 18+, so you've got less than a year until you can give them a try.

[Monsoon]

On 5/24/2022 at 6:26 AM, Coleson said:

I think it would be good to date guys but i am not sure if i wanna tell my parents yet. How do you start to date guys? how do you know if they are attracted to guys? I would probably say that i do not choose who i am attracted too and i can be with girls and guys.

Hey there,

Just to answer your other question around knowing if someone is attracted to guys, I guess it can be really difficult to know, but you might be able to tell by the way they interact with you in the sense that if they have a crush on you, they might be flirty, show more interest than someone generally would, that kind of thing. Also, you could just get to know them and find out that way as well. What do you think?