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So a couple weeks ago I was on my phone minding my own business and my mom comes in the room and asked me what I was doing and I didn't say anything because I was on the phone with my gf at the moment and I didn't want her to know because shes homophobic. I hid my phone and my chargers sticking out and she asked me " what is this " I say " my phone charger " and she lifts my blankets and takes my phone and I get out of bed and chase her while she speed walking and says "YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A PHONE SINCE YOU HAVE MENTAL HEALTH " and I ignored her and was to focused on getting my phone back and she told me that if I don't back up shell smash my phone. I didn't want that but also I didn't think she was gonna do it and I took another step and there my phone is- on the ground, cracks covering my whole phone. I tried grabbing my phone and she pushed me and kept pushing me. I was about to run into a lamp, so I pushed her back and let my anger side out and kicked and hit and screamed. She told me she was gonna call the police and at this moment I didn't care so I said " go ahead I dare you mother f-ker " Couple min later the police came, My mom lied and said I pushed her first. I felt like the police threatened me because they told me that if I did that I would be dead or i'd be picking up my teeth off the ground. More stuff like that. After that asked me questions and I said " I wanna be out of here " police said " you'd have to be 18 for that " I've told them Id be dead by then. Suicide I said to them. Why did I say it? because my mom lied to the police. My mo lied to the teachers. My mom threatens me. My mom is toxic.  I went to the mental health for about 3-4 days and my mom wanted me home but I didn't wanna go because I was pissed off at my mom. When I came home I felt like just suicide. Possibly cutting. Running away. Again just being dead. I didn't wanna say anything because the mental health people didn't give a sh!t about me. My mom to this day always brings up my mental health. When I try to do something, Its always " savy, You can't do that bc you have MENTAL HEALTH " and " You need a babysitter ". Once told me she doesn't want me because of mental health. My question is- Why does my mental health have to ruin the relationship between me and my mother? Why me? Why aren't I dead yet? 

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Hey @Savy

Thank you for telling us what is going on for you at the moment. It sounds like things are pretty intense at home, and I can imagine that you're pretty stressed and emotional about this which is completely understandable. How are you feeling about everything at the moment? I'm glad you've opened up here because this is a really safe and supportive space, and we will do whatever we can to help you move forward - we've got your back :)

I noticed that there are a few mentions of death in what you've said, and I'm wanting to know, are you feeling safe at the moment? It's okay to tell us if you're not. Just incase you need to speak to someone in an emergency, here is some information you might find helpful: 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful. 
  • If you’re in the UK, you can text SHOUT to 85258 when you are struggling, and a trained crisis volunteer will text you back. This is great if you find talking on the phone challenging, and it’s completely free 24/7

Take care and speak soon. 



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