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5 hours ago, lKail said:

IKR XD

yeah but I just found out something terrible 

he's moving in 2 weeks and just told me today

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  • 2 weeks later...

My pronouns have always been she/her but I feel weird (in a nice way) when people mistake me for a boy by saying he/him. I've always wanted to be a boy but I do like being a girl. What should I do?

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well, have you considered possibly being genderfluid or bigender?

do you feel like you switch between feeling like a boy and feeling like a girl, or do you feel them both at the same time?

genderfluid is where your gender may change over time, so you might feel like a girl one day and a boy the next, and bigender is where you can feel like them separately but also at the same time. It really depends on you, you might not identify with a label, or be a cis girl who likes he/him pronouns. Something to remember is that pronouns don't equal gender, so you could identify as any gender you want and use any pronouns you want^^

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21 hours ago, deoxyr_ said:

well, have you considered possibly being genderfluid or bigender?

do you feel like you switch between feeling like a boy and feeling like a girl, or do you feel them both at the same time?

genderfluid is where your gender may change over time, so you might feel like a girl one day and a boy the next, and bigender is where you can feel like them separately but also at the same time. It really depends on you, you might not identify with a label, or be a cis girl who likes he/him pronouns. Something to remember is that pronouns don't equal gender, so you could identify as any gender you want and use any pronouns you want^^

Some days I feel like a boy and others I feel like a girl. I like both types of clothes. I'm not sure what I want pronouns to be. I only learned about the lgbtq+ community a year ago, I'm very new to how this works.

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oh yeah, that sort of sounds like being genderfluid.  most genderfluid people might feel like one gender one day, and then feel like another the next. (for example, female to male, male to female, female to nonbinary, etc)

genderfluid denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender.

a lot of genderfluid people also wear masculine/feminine type clothes, so maybe a dress when they feel like a girl. Clothes don't determine gender though, and the same goes for pronouns. 

sorry, this might be a bit to process, but I would advise doing a little research on being genderfluid and maybe see if any other terms fit you.

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How do I subtly (and permanently) tell my mum I'm trans? Any advice is welcome.

I've tried before and she hasn't accepted it but I still hold on to hope that one day she will

I'm 16 in 4 months so should I wait till then or just say it and hold my ground.

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19 hours ago, Thisboiistrans said:

How do I subtly (and permanently) tell my mum I'm trans? Any advice is welcome.

I've tried before and she hasn't accepted it but I still hold on to hope that one day she will

I'm 16 in 4 months so should I wait till then or just say it and hold my ground.

Hey there,

Yeah, I think a big part of the process is as you said, holding your ground, because some people can tend to be quite unaccepting, so it's important to stick to your word even though they might be quite unwelcoming about it. What do you think? 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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But how? I don't want things to escalate.

It's the thought of having to wait until my 16th and seeing all the girl stuff

By girl stuff I mean 

Deodorant perfume clothes which are the 2nd worst thing for dysphoria and the cards which are always "daughter" , " sister" stuff

How do I even start to come out before then? I leave high school in June and am moving on to 6th form/college. 

I want to be myself but its nearly impossible for me to begin.

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What I'm trying to say is 

I don't want to hide but I don't want to  argue either

I just want to be able to say this is who I am. I only found out last year and I've tried 6 times since ,all failed.

It doesn't make sense to me 

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I mean for you to have the courage of even telling your mom six diff times about u being trans is amazing. Because when my parents didn't accept me the first time I told them, I kinda just left it alone.

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16 hours ago, Thisboiistrans said:

@Monsoon how do I hold my ground though?

I'm too afraid of hurting people to argue back even when I really need to

Hey there,

I think that you really have to challenge those thoughts in your head, like how you don't want to hurt people. Although you think you might be hurting people by expressing your identity, my view is that the people who feel hurt are hurting themselves, as it's down to their judgement which then might leave them feeling upset. What do you think? Also, do you have to argue back, or could it be a case of just choosing to not take on board how they're reacting?

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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On 3/23/2022 at 2:36 AM, Darius9898 said:

i have  crush on this straight girl and wanna ask her out but if things go north she will make fun of me  so how do i ask her out??

Hi.  I'm not sure if you've already sorted it or not, but you could always casually bring up something about the LGBTQ+ community or genderfluid people specifically in conversation with her, and gauge her reaction. You could start talking about a film or show that has a genderfluid cast member or character (etc.), or else bring up something topical and whatever genderfluid related stuff is happening in current affairs. If she seems at least somewhat open-minded and accepting, then that would be a promising start. A while later (maybe wait at least a few days) you could bring it up again another time and casually delve a bit further into it, when talking about either relationships or genderfluidity (etc.). I'd suggest asking her if she would ever go out with different types of people from the community. Then based on her answer decide whether you'll keep building your relationship with her, and then ask her out whenever you feel comfortable enough.

Anyway I hope that everything works out for you. Good luck :)

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Could you explain what you meant by this please? 

Although you think you might be hurting people by expressing your identity, my view is that the people who feel hurt are hurting themselves, as it's down to their judgement which then might leave them feeling upset. What do you think? Also, do you have to argue back, or could it be a case of just choosing to not take on board how they're reacting?

 

Also how do I not take on board how they're reacting if I live with them?

I feel as if things would be complicated if I didnt

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22 hours ago, lKail said:

I mean for you to have the courage of even telling your mom six diff times about u being trans is amazing. Because when my parents didn't accept me the first time I told them, I kinda just left it alone.

@IKail

Hey I've only just saw your comment

Thank you for your kind words.

I'm sorry your parents weren't accepting either

Guess were in the same boat on this one,huh?

If I have your permission I'd like to follow your account

 

Edited by Thisboiistrans
Spelt use wrong
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16 hours ago, Thisboiistrans said:

Could you explain what you meant by this please? 

Although you think you might be hurting people by expressing your identity, my view is that the people who feel hurt are hurting themselves, as it's down to their judgement which then might leave them feeling upset. What do you think? Also, do you have to argue back, or could it be a case of just choosing to not take on board how they're reacting?

Also how do I not take on board how they're reacting if I live with them?

I feel as if things would be complicated if I didnt

Hey,

I will message you now. Speak soon. 

digital-mentor.png.37594766624d87064910e

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On 4/13/2022 at 3:08 AM, lKail said:

Hell yeah ->-

Hey @IKail

I've got to leave this website permanently. I have gcses that need to be prioritised. 

Hope you understand and thanks

For everything 

Lots of love and best wishes

Thisboiistrans 

 

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